Year of Push 3.12 Insults & Observations

After my workout this morning, I was cooling down on a bike. An older woman came up to me and said, “Great job on that run!

Thanks. Running isn’t yet a strength but I’m working on it.

We chatted a little about how she doesn’t run due to her bad knees and at some point she said, referring to the running portion of the workout I had just finished,

“I know how hard it can be. You’re so slow…”

I kind of smiled, wondering if she realized that she just told me I was not only slow but “so slow“.

Wait. Was that an insult? An observation? Both? A compliment?

Here’s why I’m telling you this:

  • It wasn’t an insult
  • My perspective on what she said determines how I feel about it
  • I can be hurt by what she said, I can be helped by what she said or it can have no impact at all. It’s up to me. 

At some point in the not-too-distant past, I’d have been hurt by that. I’d have immediately decided that this woman is a rude bitch. I would have been indignant: you don’t know where I started! Mind your own damn business! OMG does everyone think I’m “so slow”? I don’t belong here… How embarrassing.

I would have thought about the comment all day and probably for a couple of days and each time it would sting and trigger feelings of judgement and inadequacy. 

And, that type of emotional cascade would happen EVERY TIME someone said something to which I could find a way to take offense.

Basically, I wasn’t emotionally stable. Someone’s glance, comment or lack of a friendly smile could send me into a self-conscious tailspin. 

Not anymore.

I want to share with you how I processed it today.

First, there was definitely a moment of, “Does she realize she just told me I’m so slow?”

But there was also this:

  • She was complimenting me, not criticizing. She noticed how hard I worked through a challenging workout & she was being empathetic.
  • Relative to the athletes at this gym, I AM slow. That’s also why I came here. To be challenged & get better. So, she’s 100% right
  • I am faster than I was 3 years ago and also faster than I was 3 months ago
  • Showing up & doing this workout today helps me get even faster
  • Every time someone says something that I COULD allow to ruffle my feathers but I choose not to, I get better and stronger. She gave me that gift of practice

Whether it’s someone commenting on your weight, your speed, your food choices, your outfit or anything in between, YOU are in control of how you take it & how you react to it. 

This isn’t always easy. We need lots of practice. Every time it happens is a chance to practice.

Oftentimes, my clients are rubbed the wrong way by feedback I give them. That’s their choice and it doesn’t have to do with me.

It’s not what I say, it’s what they think about what I say.

They have a choice. They can see the criticism in it, or they can see the opportunity in it. 

What’s true about the statement, if anything? How can you use it to make you better?

At a bare minimum, feedback, insults, criticisms or observations give us a chance to practice NOT becoming attached to & dramatic about someone else’s words or actions. 

At most, there’s some truth in it that we can learn & grow from.

If it bothers you, it’s because of what YOU make of it, not because of what was said. 

It’s not someone’s comments that upset us, it’s our thoughts about their comments. 

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s powerful. Incredibly powerful, actually.

Here’s that workout my new gym-friend commented on:

“The Running Dead”
3 RFT:
600m Run
16 Deadlifts (225/155)
60 Double-unders

I was really proud that I went unbroken on all 3 sets of deadlifts and stayed really consistent with both my run & jump rope.

On the food front:

Started the day with butter coffee from Picnik. I wasn’t hungry after my workout – I think I was too tired to be hungry!

Around 11am I had a cobb salad with added cabbage and a whole lot of water.

I was craving a shake today so I blended up a concoction of coconut cream, almond milk, frozen cauliflower, a zevia energy drink & cacao powder. It was pretty darn good! I used the cola flavor that I don’t enjoy as much but it worked really well here, adding flavor & a touch of sweetness.

Dinner was paleo power meals: steak frites (sweet potato fries).

Gotta eat foods you love that love you back! No sacrifice here!

 

Love you guys! Make it a great day!

PS: If you’re new to these posts, listen to this podcast episode to get the scoop on what changes I’m making in my life and you can start back at my first daily post here.

 

 

 

 

 

Year of Push 3.11 It’s Not Optional

Certain things in my life aren’t optional. The list isn’t long, but it absolutely exists. Some of them are silly, but I think it’s important to know what isn’t optional and why it is that it’s not optional for you.

For example, here are a few things that aren’t optional for me:

  • Working out Monday-Friday (Saturdays & Sundays are optional. I usually do workout those days, but it’s an option)
  • Brushing my teeth before bed and before my morning shower
  • Wearing clean clothes
  • Shutting off the lights before I leave the house

Some of those things seem silly, right? I mean, they almost seem obvious, but they aren’t. Hear me out.

I’m far less interested in WHAT isn’t optional for you than I am in WHY it’s not optional.

The reason this matters is because many of us have made making good food choices, having a good attitude and moving our bodies OPTIONAL. They are things we do when we feel like it, versus the short list of things we do whether we feel like it or not.

I often don’t feel like brushing my teeth. Many nights I wished there was someone to do it for me. Lazy, I know. But even in those lazy moments, I force myself to get up & brush my teeth before bed.

So why is it that some things are optional an some things aren’t?

What makes things not optional? Our attitude and perspective about them. 

It is the way we think about something that makes it optional or not.

If you want to move a behavior from the “optional” to “not optional” category, you’ve got to start by changing how you think about it.

For example, if you think to yourself, “I’ll brush my teeth in the morning. I’m too tired. One night of not brushing them isn’t a big deal”, brushing your teeth is optional.

This is how many people think about food, fitness, journaling, self-care and a whole host of other behaviors we want to consistently execute.

It’s your thoughts about the activity, chosen repeatedly & consistently over time, that makes an activity not optional.

One of the ways to make this shift is to explore the grey area – the area between doing it perfectly or not doing it at all.

Sticking with the brushing your teeth example, instead of seeing it as black & white, either you brush your teeth or you don’t, take advantage of the shades of grey. “I’ll do a super fast brush. Something is better than nothing!

Or, instead of seeing this as a day where you either eat “healthy” or you don’t, you find a way to do a little of both. Maybe you plan to eat clean, fat loss friendly foods AND have one special treat.

Instead of seeing the day as a workout day or a rest day, maybe you do 5 minutes of body weight movements at home instead of skipping your workout all together.

No matter how you approach it, you can absolutely move activities from the “optional” to the “not optional” category by changing how you think about them. This happens choice by choice.

The only thing that got me to the gym today is that I’ve trained myself to see that as a not-optional activity.

With cumulative soreness from Sunday & Monday, my body was feeling pretty uncomfortable this morning. Instead of thinking to myself, “I don’t know if I can do 30 clean & jerks for time” I thought: I can show up & warm up. That’s the first step and that’s a step I can take.

“Grace”
For Time:
30 Clean & Jerks (85#)

It was a fast, fun workout and sure enough, I felt excited to get after it once I was done warming up. After the workout I did 100 cals on the Airdyne bike before heading the chiropractor.

Guys, let today be the day you really focus on changing your perspective on the things you don’t want to be optional.

On the food front:

Can I tell you how happy I was to wake up before my 5am alarm? After a busy weekend & a hard workout yesterday, I was totally beat. I went to bed at 8:45 last night and got up around 4:45 this morning. I’m so happy to be feeling more rested!

I kicked off the day with butter coffee from Picnik and then headed to the gym. I had to go straight to the chiropractor from the gym & was feeling pretty hungry when I got home.

I pulled a salad out of the fridge but put it back and had a few grilled chicken strips instead. I want to explain my thought process here in case it helps any of you:

I prefer to eat a more substantial meal in the early afternoon than in the morning. See, I’m a little more tired then, a little more bored & restless and I often find myself wanting to snack.

Instead of having that munchie feeling in the afternoon, I’ll have my “lunch” or early afternoon meal be my largest. I want it to take the longest to eat and fill me up most of all my meals.

So, as I pulled the salad out of the fridge I thought, “As much as this would be awesome right now, I think having it later will make my food choices easier. I’ll have this bigger meal to look forward when I want it the most.”

Around 2pm I mixed the cobb salad with a whole bunch of raw, shredded cabbage and really took my time eating it. Totally hit the spot!

I think it’s important to pay attention to when it makes sense to have your biggest meal.

I used to make breakfast my largest meal but, with my workouts in the morning, I find that if I can hold myself over with a smaller meal, food choices are easier with my biggest meal in the early afternoon.

Know thyself & remember that everything changes! The key is paying attention & doing what makes you feel your best AND gets you the results you’re after.

Dinner was spaghetti squash bolognese from Paleo Power Meals.

PS: If you’re new to these posts, listen to this podcast episode to get the scoop on what changes I’m making in my life and you can start back at my first daily post here.

341: Motivational Minisode

341: Motivational Minisode

I had a particularly motivating morning the other day. However, it didn’t start out that way. It started out with an onslaught of self-doubt, excuses and self-imposed limitations.

I am not immune to negativity & excuses. I have just as many doubts & excuses as the next person. Sometimes they win. Often, they don’t.

In today’s motivational minisode I’m sharing my motivational morning and how I work through real limitations without letting them dictate my decisions.

Listen Now

Download Episode

Resources:

Summer Fat Loss Fast Track Wait List

How To Leave A Rating & Review (thank you!!!)

Year of Push 3.10 Toughen Up

Here in the United States, it is Memorial Day. To all those who have served: thank you. To the families of those who sacrificed their lives for their fellow soldiers and for our country: I will continue to look for ways to serve & be brave in honor of your loved ones.

CrossFit boxes around the country do a workout called “Murph” on Memorial Day. It’s named in honor of Navy Lieutenant Michael Murphy who died while serving in Afghanistan in 2005.

He and several other Seals found themselves surrounded & outnumbered by the Taliban and Murphy risked his life to step out into an open field to try to get reception to call for help.

He was killed.

The workout named after Lieutenant Murphy is a tough one, both mentally & physically.

Many people will see that workout and think, “I can’t do that.”

I know that was my thought.

But hold up for a second. Hold up and toughen up.

Stop seeing only what you CAN’T do. Start looking for what you CAN do.

Can’t run a mile? And? So what? Now what?

Can you walk a mile? Can you jog a half a mile? Can you bike? Can you just not sit on the couch all day?

Can’t do 200 push-ups? So what? Now what?

What can you do? What are you able and willing to do?

Can’t go without alcohol today because everyone else is drinking?

So what? Now what?

What can you do?

If you are struggling, I’m willing to bet that a huge part of the reason is that you see what you can’t do and what is hard.

Enough. Toughen up.

You’re stronger than this. Mentally & physically.

I know I say it all the time but it’s true! What can you do?

Struggling with your mindset an not sure how to turn it around?

So what? Now what?

What CAN you do? What are you able & willing to do?

Lieutenant Murphy didn’t stop because of all he couldn’t do on that day he lost his life. Even when in danger greater than most of us will ever face, he saw what he could do.

He even ended that last call with “thank you”.

All around the world people act with boldness, courage and bravery every day.

I think that when you’re facing temptation, a hard workout or the desire to change your attitude, you have what it takes to toughen up a bit. 

Just saying.

I’m going to stop here today because this is all I want you to think about.

Toughen up.

Stop focusing on what your body isn’t, what your strength isn’t, what your ability isn’t.

So what? Now what?

What can you do?

341: Motivational Minisode

340: Body Image & The Mental Game

I am so pumped to share a powerful conversation I had with one of my Fat Loss Fast Track clients about body image and the real reasons we want to change our bodies, lives & relationship with food.

On today’s episode, Kristi and I talk about how the mental game of nutrition and weight loss has not only changed her body but also her life.

She’s brave enough to talk about existing insecurities and what it is that she really wants – why she really wants to lose weight & change her body.

If you have ever had a body image issue, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!

Huge thanks to Kristi for her openness and inspiration!

Listen Now

Download Episode

Resources:

Summer Fat Loss Fast Track Wait List

How To Leave A Rating & Review (thank you!!!)

Download a free chapter from Chasing Cupcakes.

Enter your first name and email below and I'll send over chapter nine from my best-selling book. 

Thanks! Check your inbox.