Fear Decisions Or Growth Decisions?

I am an introvert. For real, it’s true. It hasn’t always been that way but absolutely has been for the last 10-15 years. I am consciously choosing to not let my shyness be a barrier to connection but rather to break down that barrier, choice by choice.

If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click here to listen on my Anchor channel.

One of the ways I do this is by seeking ways to step out of my comfort zone. I intentionally strike up a conversation with a stranger in the gym when I’d prefer to keep to myself.

I introduce myself to someone I want to connect with instead of hoping they introduce themselves to me.

Every day I look for opportunities to move towards things that make me uncomfortable instead of away from them.

I’m going to a party tonight. I’m going alone and I will know very few people there. The people I will know aren’t friends, they are casual, new-ish acquaintances at best.

Normally, I wouldn’t go. Today, I’m choosing to go.

Here’s what I realized when thinking about the party: uncomfortable isn’t bad. It’s not painful. I won’t get hurt. In fact, uncomfortable is totally fine.

If I go and feel uncomfortable standing by myself, that is fine. I will be fine. It’s not a problem at all.

If it feels uncomfortable to strike up a conversation with a stranger, I will be fine. It is not bad. It is not painful. It’s not a problem at all.

And, the only way to make uncomfortable things feel more comfortable is to step towards them, not away from them.

The same thing is true with all discomforts.

Does it feel uncomfortable to turn down temptation? That is fine. It won’t hurt. You can do it. It’s not a bad thing. Embrace the discomfort.

Run towards it, not away from it.

Does it feel uncomfortable to go to a new gym? That’s okay. It won’t hurt you. It’s not even bad. You can ease the discomfort by stepping towards it instead of running from it.

Uncomfortable is fine. Step towards it. Embrace it. You’re fine & so am I.

{edited to add}

I wrote this blog and then went about my work. I had to get Saturday’s podcast out the door, I had a handful of conference calls & in-person meetings, etc. Before getting ready for the party, I decided to hop on my bike to generate some energy since I was feeling pretty tired.

I get to one of the last pages of the book I was reading (Reinvent Yourself by James Altucher) and this is the picture facing me as I turn the page. 


Today’s workout was a great one. It called for box jumps but I nixed those to be more tender with my knee after yesterday’s wall balls. Here’s what I did:

3 RFT

500m row

12 burpees

21 heavy ball slams

My shoulders were totally lit after those ball slams (which were in lieu of box jumps). Felt great to crush it!

On the food front:

I went straight to Whole Foods after my workout to get some bacon. I made up my cabbage salad bowl with bacon & avocado after the workout.

Throughout the afternoon I snacked on some pili nuts and drank a few bottles of sparkling water.

I chose to eat before the party since I don’t know what will be there. I had brussels sprouts and grilled chicken. I’m not planning to drink alcohol at the party but I’ll happily enjoy seltzer if they have it! If not, plain water will do just fine.

Make the most of your weekend! Give some thought to what will make you proud & then make it happen!


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2 replies
  1. Travis
    Travis says:

    Love the post!!!!
    I had to share this with my facebook feed. It’s our first reflex and natural to make fear based decisions. At our core we are designed to survive. We instinctually asses fears and make decisions based on them. Will I fail, will I be able to support my family, what will others think of me. The problem with making fear based decisions is that while you may survive (for a little bit), you will rarely thrive. Why not thrive and survive? Make your decisions based on growth!!!You will survive and THRIVE!!!! It’s hard, and I struggle with it everyday, but maybe if I can figure it out my kids will come by in naturally.

    Reply
    • Elizabeth Benton
      Elizabeth Benton says:

      I know for sure that you can figure it out! Figuring it out happens in action versus in thought – one day at a time, seeking out those things that challenge you and going for it. Make it a great day!

      Reply

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