At your request, today I’m sharing an incredible client success story. When Louise first found Primal Potential, she felt out of control. Her marriage was in trouble, her finances were on the rocks, she was overweight, stressed out and turning to food & alcohol for comfort.
In the last (almost) two years, she has created transformation in every aspect of her life. She would tell you that her 60 pound weight loss is the least of the changes she’s made. She infinitely calmer, happier and more in control. Her marriage has improved, her business has improved and she’s enjoying her life more.
I can’t wait to share our conversation with you in today’s episode!
Think about your most common thoughts.Think about the things that stress you out, overwhelm you or make you sad or angry.
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In fact, the next time you catch your mind wandering, I want you to ask yourself a question.
What energy is this creating in me?*
Let’s say that you’re driving to work and find yourself replaying, in your mind, a conversation you had with someone that left you frustrated or annoyed.
You’re choosing to think about that interaction and revisit it in your mind.
What energy is it creating in you?
I’ll confess. That example comes from my own life, just the other day. I was driving to the gym when I noticed I was re-living a conversation that had frustrated me. I was thinking through all the things I wanted to say & all the points I wanted to make to this person.
I thought about the energy it was creating in me: frustration, annoyance, anger. Nothing good.
Since I certainly don’t want to feel that way, I switched my attention. I looked at the clear blue skies. I put on a song I love. I thought about the energy I’d bring to my workout.
Just for kicks, I asked myself again, “What energy is this creating in me?”
In a matter of seconds, my energy had changed. I felt peaceful, grateful and in control.
This is a tool we can use not just with our thoughts but also our words and our choices.
When you’re worried about what someone will think of your outfit, what energy does that create in you? When you’re being snarky, dismissive or short-tempered, what energy does that create in you? When you’re having your 3rd glass of wine or turning to the cookies when you aren’t hungry, what energy does that create in you?
What choices, thoughts or words create a lighter, happier energy? What people bring out that energy in you?
You are not your thoughts. You are the thinker. You can redirect your attention in any & every moment to create the feelings you want to experience.
Don’t wish for a peaceful day. Don’t wish for a good mood. Create it.
If your thoughts, actions or words aren’t creating the energy you want for your day or your life, you always have the power to make the change.
In episode 490 of the podcast, I talked about the power of enthusiasm and my past struggles with darkness & depresion. I came back to the topics in episode 492, specifically because of two comments I got in response to episode 490.
The listeners reached out to express that depression is not a choice. I agree. Interestingly, I did not say in the episode that depression was a choice. Of course I didn’t, because I don’t believe it to be true. But, I have no control over what others feel I implied. That’s dangerous business, for any of us: thinking we know what someone meant to say.
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So, for the sake of clarity, here is what I believe: we can change.
No matter what we are facing, we have the power to change, heal, improve and grow.
You can be different today. Change is available to you. Today.
You can avoid past patterns, today.
You can find the good in your day today.
You can be happier today.
Sure, there are things in life that can make change harder. We all have those things. Some of them are circumstantial. Some of them are hormonal. Some of them are biochemical. Some historical.
None of them take away our power to choose incremental improvements.
You have the power to eat a little better today, or smile a little more. You have the power to move with more intention or take a pause for gratitude and prayer. You have the power to get to bed earlier or stay off social media. You have the power to ask for help or read a book for support & encouragement.
I refuse to accept that we are powerless because we aren’t.
Today’s episode is a hybrid – part book club episode, part manifesto on your ability, independent of all circumstances, to create change.
I read an amazing book called You Are the Placebo and it came to mind immediately when I got a couple of critical comments about episode 490 of the podcast. That episode garnered over 400 emails, text messages, direct messages & social media comments from people who found it helpful and inspiring. It also garnered two critical comments from listeners. Both felt they needed to inform me that depression isn’t a choice. Interestingly, I agree and never said it was. I do, however, believe that in every circumstance, we DO have power to create change.
That is what we are diving into, especially the science behind our thoughts, in today’s episode. This is, without question, one of my favorite recent episodes! Don’t miss it!
I really enjoyed Joshua Medcalf’s book Chop Wood, Carry Water. The title refers to one of my favorite Zen sayings: Before enlightment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightment, chop wood, carry water.
For years I’ve adapted that Zen wisdom with my clients and in my own life.
Before success, chop wood, carry water. Do the grunt work. Do the work, period. Hammer the basics.
After success, chop wood, carry water. You don’t ease off, you keep doing the grunt work and hammering the basics.
To create success, your habits, choices and behaviors should look remarkably consistent during and after.
In the book, Medcalf tells a story of a frustrated young student, wishing to become a Samurai archer.
The mentor explains the following…
“First year, you must learn to aim with your eyes. Second year, you must learn to draw your bow smoothly, hold it stable, and aim with your muscles. Third year, you must learn to breathe slowly, control your diaphragm, and aim with your lungs. I have been chopping wood and carrying water for forty-nine years. And while you may only aim with your eyes and your muscles and your lungs right now, I aim with everything.”
Friend, when it comes to creating change, we have a tendency to aim only with our choices. We focus on what we should be doing more or less of. We need to eat more vegetables, less sugar. We need to sleep more, watch TV less. We need to save more, spend less. We are aiming with our choices.
We dramatically accelerate our progress and make change significantly easier when we aim with everything.
Aim with your thoughts.
Aim with your prayers.
Aim with how you spend your time.
Aim with the music you listen to.
Aim with the people you surround yourself with.
Aim with your choices, but also with everything else.
