Change can be hard. It can be frustrating. It can feel lonely. For much of my life I felt exhausted by work I hadn’t even yet done…I felt like the road ahead of me was impossible. I have no doubt that those feelings contributed to depression & isolation.
I could absolutely still choose that perspective. I could choose to upset myself by fixating on what I don’t yet have, on how far I have to go, on the gap between where I am and where I want to be and the work I’ll have to do to change.
Fortunately, I choose a dramatically different perspective and my new perspective makes change dramatically easier and prevents me from experiencing depressive symptoms.
Like many of you, I’ve been moved by the recent high profile celebrity suicides. In today’s episode, I’m talking about pleasure, pain, joy and depression. Even if depression isn’t something you’re struggling with, this episode might help you help someone you love.
I hope you’ll listen.
If you or someone you know needs assistance, don’t hesitate to reach out to the suicide prevention hotline. More information can be found here.
This past weekend I took a solo road trip to New York City. On the way there, I listened to a book recommended by a friend: Soulful Simplicity by Courtney Carver.
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The book is about living more by living with less. While it wasn’t a book I totally loved, I do agree with lots of the concepts. (In fairness, I think I didn’t love it because I’ve already made so many strides in terms of simplicity. Heck, I built a tiny house and got rid of 50% of my stuff! For that reason, it wasn’t super interesting to me.) I would absolutely recommend it for someone who feels like they have too much: too much debt, too much stuff, too much clutter, too much stress.
She did say one thing that I wanted to be sure to share with you.
The place between ease & stress is called steadiness.
I used to feel like either I was going all out, all in, full-throttle-effort or I was slacking.
I used to feel like either I was committed to eating clean & being disciplined with my food choices OR I was eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.
I used to feel like I was either working with unrelenting focus and crazy hours or I was scaling back and coasting.
I think most people live in these extremes. We give ourselves credit when we’re on full blast and we beat ourselves up when we’re not.
Life isn’t that way. It’s just not true. Sure, you can choose to see it that way, but that doesn’t mean it’s the way things are.
Friends, I am really excited for today’s episode! If you are struggling to stay motivated, this conversation about change being hard versus not changing being hard is one you need to hear. Is it really hard or is it an easier life that is simply unpracticed & unfamiliar? That’s what we’re exploring today! Don’t miss it!
One of my 12 Weeks to Transformation clients emailed me about something she learned from her yoga instructor. It resonated with me and I think it will resonate with you as well.
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Thank you so much for your reply. I must have listened to your message 20 times this morning lol….. I love it! Thank you so much.
I took a Yoga class this morning and my teacher brought up something else that was extremely helpful. He was talking about the difference between intensity and stress. Intensity happens, stress is chosen. You can go through an intense moment, experience, situation…. and choose to stay peaceful or you can choose to be stressed. You can back off and let the intensity overwhelm or you can push through and come out the other side ready to grow. Like a seed sprouting, or a life being born…. those moments are of high INTENSITY, but you can chsose to let the moment create growth instead of stress/distress.
It really resonated with me and with everything I was pondering after your message.
So true, right?
Intensity happens. Stress is chosen.
Intensity can result from your circumstances, overwhich you may not have any control. Stress, on the other hand, is a result of your response. Your perspective. That is within your control.
The other thing that stands out to me in her email is stress versus distress.
You can be under physical stress during a workout, but you don’t have to panic or freak out – distress.
You can be under emotional stress when you’re dealing with a family or health crisis, but you can choose peace over distress.
I want you to carry these ideas with you this week and remind yourself that you are always in control of your reactions and your perspectives. To that extent, you’re very much in control of your own stress & distress levels!
“It’s difficult for an empty sack to stand upright”
I return to this Ben Franklin quote when I’m feeling weak, unmotivated or frustrated.
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Think about “standing upright” as those choices you feel you “should” make. Eating well. Minimizing indulgences. Working out. Getting up early. Reducing TV time. Spending less money.
When those choices feel hard or you just not feeling motivated to eat well, move more or be disciplined in your choices, focus on filling yourself up….mentally.
For me, when self-care and self-discipline feels hard, I’m generally not pouring into myself with my thoughts. In Franklin’s words, I’m an “empty sack”.
It’s difficult for an empty sack to stand upright.
We all find ourselves in these moments and when we’re there, the most critical thing is how we respond. You don’t have to fight against yourself and you certainly don’t have to give up or give in.
Fill yourself up. Read. Listen to a motivating podcast. Meditate. Clean your house. Dance to your favorite song. Pray. Journal.
Just realize that you might be running on empty and it’s time to fill yourself up.
