I’m answering your questions today! If you have questions, please feel free to submit them here and listen to today’s episode about an exciting improvment I’m making to the way I answer your questions!
I’d love for you to join me in our brand new Primal Potential Facebook group! It’s totally free and amazing way to stay motivated and engaged! It’s also a great place to get your questions answered!
Here are some of the mindset and fat loss questions I’m answering on today’s show:
I have a question about support. I don’t have a big social circle and the few that are in it, aren’t focused on weight loss or mindset. I’m loving the new community for this!!!! I was wondering if you have suggestions on how to meet like minded people in my area. I’ve tried the gym but find everyone politely says hello and then goes on about their routine in silence. Would a different kind of gym help? Any other avenues you think I should explore?
You share so many great things-but what have been the TOP couple ideas/perspective shifts that created a pivot or tipping point in your life?
Knowing what you know now, if you were to take up 100 pounds overweight tomorrow, and knew you could “perfectly” lose the weight, what are the top 5 things you would adjust immediately.
I would love more ideas about how to recognize automatic thoughts, because I’m a weirdo who doesn’t think in actual sentences? Or maybe, I’m just so accustomed to having the thoughts that they don’t register as sentences in my head (habits). Like I KNOW I do the whole “screw it, Ill start tomorrow” or “this treat doesn’t really matter” etc… But those do not come up as words in my mind, more like my mind skips the whole thought and goes straight to the feeling. How to reverse engineer this?
Is there normally an “aha” moment that turns us around and takes us down the easy road? Or is it just lots of practice and consistency and eventually it will start working?
However, just because you feel stuck doesn’t mean you are stuck.
The other day, I posted this on Instagram and it really resonated, so I figured it was high time to do a motivational minisode to help you out in those moments you feel stuck.
5 Reminders To Free Yourself When You Feel Stuck
Don’t let how you feel about the problem overshadow what you can do to create the solution.
Feeling stuck is vague and general. In specificity you will find your superpowers.
Are you letting the problem lead? Stop following the struggle.
You will feel more free when you let go of “life overgrowth”.
If you’re living together but have different health goals and priorities, how do you navigate it?
That’s one of the most common questions I get about my relationships. My boyfriend and I are now living together but we have very different lifestyles and personalities. Though we are in no way relationship experts, today we’re answering your questions about love, food, weight, personality differences and much more.
Curious about what questions we answer on the episode? Here are a few of them. If you have questions we didn’t answer, shoot me a message on Instagram or comment in the show notes and we’ll absolutely answer them! The episode got kind of long so we didn’t get to all that were submitted but there are more answers to more questions below!
Are you planning to get married? We are planning to rennovate our house. That’s our only plan. Haha.
Do you want kids? I texted him this question and this is his exact response: “We seem pretty fluid on that one.” I love the idea of children. I don’t love the idea of the responsibility. We don’t have immediate plans for kids but we aren’t against it either. He has a daughter, I should add. I’m answering this as to whether or not we want to have kids together.
What does he do for work? A little bit of everything. He’s a real estate agent, a drone pilot and works for a local appliance company. He’s also resident handyman around the house.
What are your love languages? He hasn’t read the book. He says his love language is English. Mine are physical touch and words of affirmation.
Does he get to call you Betsy? Nope, “Betsy” is what my family calls me – only my family. He usually calls me “Bunny” or “babe”. He introduces me as “Elizabeth” and doesn’t call me Betsy.
In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.
If you’re human, you’ve probably had moments where you feel stuck in your job, stuck in your relationship or just feel stuck in life in general. Frustrated. Disappointed. Off-track. Have you said it before? Thought it? Reached out for help because of it?
“I feel stuck.”
When you feel stuck, it can quickly turn into doubting yourself and feeling like your goals are out of reach.
Here’s what I need you to know: just because you feel stuck doesn’t mean you are stuck. There is so much you can do today to overcome the sense of being stuck.
You’re not stuck. You stopped. There is a difference.
If you’ve ever felt stuck or overwhelmed, you’ve got to watch this video before continuing to read. I’m serious. This is you when you’re telling yourself you’re stuck.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play. Otherwise, keep reading below!
When my 12 Weeks to Transformation clients tell me they feel stuck, I remind them that often, claiming that we’re stuck is the equivalent to pulling our car off the side of the road, putting it in park, taking the key out of the ignition and then freaking out that we’re stuck.
You’re not stuck. You stopped. There is a difference.
Here are 5 reminders you can use to set yourself free.
Don’t let how you feel about the problem overshadow what you can do to create the solution.
Feeling stuck is vague and general. In specificity you will find your superpowers.
Are you letting the problem lead? Stop following the struggle.
You will feel more free when you let go of “life overgrowth”.
Put someone else in your shoes.
Don’t let how you feel about the problem overshadow what you can do to create the solution.
This one might hurt a little, but here’s the truth: if you feel stuck, you’ve talked yourself into it. Seriously. You can, at any time, convince yourself that you’re stuck.
You can also convince yourself that you’re not stuck.
Let’s use a super-familiar example: weight loss.
If you focus on all the things you haven’t done and all the times you’ve given up or given in in the past, you might feel stuck. If you focus on all the things you don’t want to do or aren’t willing to do, you might feel stuck.
However, you could also choose to focus on all the opportunities for improvement you could choose today. You can choose to focus on baby steps that are possible. You can make a list of all things you are able and willing to do today that represent an improvement for you and pick goals for this day based on that list.
When you feel stuck, check yourself: are you focused on how you feel about the problem or are you focused on what you can do to bring about the solution?
Feeling stuck is vague and general. In specificity you can find your superpowers.
Thinking in generalities and being vague is one of the reasons you feel stuck.
There’s a huge difference between, “I feel stuck” and “I want to lose weight and I’m not doing the work. I feel stuck behind my excuses. My most common excuses include…”
Feeling stuck is your starting point, not your end point. In Chasing Cupcakes, one of the recurrent tools I suggest are questions. Here are a few questions you can use to move from generalities to specifics:
Why do you feel stuck?
What is it that you want?
Is there something you can do today to create progress?
What’s in the way?
If there was a solution, what would it look like?
Is there something you can adopt today, via your behaviors, to move closer to the solution?
Identify the thing you feel like you should be doing or the thing you wish you were doing and find a way to move in that direction today. Get specific about what is in the way and what your options for forward progress are. Be specific!
Are you letting the problem lead? Stop following the struggle.
In your thoughts and feelings, what’s out in front? The problem or the solution?
Are you thinking about the past patterns? The struggles? What’s in the way?
Don’t let the problem lead you. Lead with the solution.
I’m not suggesting that the problem and your feelings about it don’t exist, but choose to lead with the solution.
Recently, my roof was leaking. Though it had been “repaired” just a couple weeks earlier, it was leaking. Again. Water was all over the kitchen.
I won’t deny that my tendency was to lead with the problem:
I can’t believe this! It was just fixed! Why is this happening? The guy who fixed it screwed up! This is a disaster!
Leading with the problem makes you feel all sorts of negative emotions ranging from overwhelmed to infuriated.
Leading with the solution is empowering: what do we need to do to get this fixed?
Remove the fixation on the problem. Dial back the emotion that is problem-focused.
Lead with the solution: how do we make this right?
You will feel more free when you let go of life overgrowth.
Sometimes you feel stuck because you’re overwhelmed. There’s so much chaos in your thoughts, your feelings or your circumstances that the path to the solution is simply obstructed. You can’t see it.
I realized just how true and powerful this idea is the other day when I was pruning the apple trees on my property.
It’s been about 5 years since they were properly cut back. The limbs were overgrown, crossing over eachother and blocking the light.
The same thing happens in our lives. We add new obligations, commitments, tasks, responsibilities. We add fears, past experiences, pressures, goals.
At some point, we have to cut back. We have to take a look at our lives and identify what needs to go. What’s blocking the light? Where is there overgrowth?
Have you taken on additional responsibilities that you need to let go of? Are there things you can outsource? Are there grudges you can release? Resentment you’re willing to let go of? Fears you can stop focusing on?
Get rid of excess. Turn off the TV. Spend less time on social media. Clean out your fridge. Stop spending money on stupid stuff.
Clear your own path.
Put someone else in your shoes.
If someone else felt stuck in the same situation, how would you advise them? What steps would you encourage them to take? How would you help a friend or loved one if they were in your shoes?
Write down your advice.
Now, take it.
Stuck is a perspective. Stuck is a choice. You have options, including whether or not to continue telling yourself that you’re stuck.
Most of my clients set goals for themselves. Most of them are going about it the wrong way.
Why do you think so many people who set a goal of weight loss end up regaining the weight? Why do so many people who get out of debt shortly reaccumulate it?
My friends, as you set goals for yourself, I want you to keep in mind that there is a massive difference between external goals and internal targets.
In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about a different way to set goals and go about achieving them in a way that ensures you get what you want most! We’re taking a deep dive into the idea that the goal is more about feeling than doing. I’m going to help you understand what it means for the GOAL to be the FEELING you’re after and how to prioritize the way you want to BE over the things you ought to DO.
This simple shift in the way you set goals and the way you think about goals will improve your consistency and make sure you don’t waste precious time and energy pursuing an external target when your real goal is an internal shift.
What choices, actions or thoughts contribute to how you do want to feel?
What choices, actions or thoughts contribute to how you don’t want to feel?
What can you do about it today?
What’s the difference between the things you want to do and the way you want to be?
What can you do about it today?
When you’re in a moment of struggle or negative emotion: what feeling are you looking to obtain?
How can you create that?
Resources:
Want to work with me this spring? Hop on the wait list to get sneak peaks inside the Winter 12 Weeks to Transformation and prepare to work with me this spring!
For more on the difference between external goals and internal targets, read chapter 8 of Chasing Cupcakes! If you’ve already read it, it would be a MASSIVE help if you’d sign in to Amazon & leave a rating & review! If you’re new to Audible, you can get Chasing Cupcakes for free (or any audiobook you choose) AND a free 1-month trial if you register via audibletrial.com/primalpotential/
