556: Standing On The Shoulders of Your Story

556: Standing On The Shoulders of Your Story

First we make our stories, then our stories make us.

We are story tellers. You are a master story teller. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, you make about stories about everything that happens around you, about every choice you make, every single day.

When I say “stories” that DOESN’T mean you made something up.

Your story is the meaning you attach to your experiences.

Your story can take you to new heights or it can overwhelm you and lead to you to isolate yourself and feel defeated.

In today’s episode, we’re taking a look at the stories you tell yourself and how you can stand on the shoulders of your story and allow it to take you to new heights!

Today’s episode features pieces of a powerful conversation I had with story-expert Marlo Ellis – founder and visionary behind The Uncommon Woman.

Don’t miss this episode!

Resources:

Get your copy of Chasing Cupcakes! If you aren’t much of a reader, I’ve got you! Listen to me read the book on Audible!

Marlo Ellis & The Uncommon Woman

The Uncommon Woman on Facebook and Instagram

Follow Elizabeth & Primal Potential on Instagram

555: Why It STILL Feels Hard & What To Do Differently

555: Why It STILL Feels Hard & What To Do Differently

I used to think in terms of what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be so overweight. I didn’t want to overeat so frequently. I didn’t want to feel so out of control. I didn’t want to be unhappy, lonely or isolated. I didn’t want to have so much debt. You get the picture.

If I had to choose a sound effect to represent how I felt at that point in my life, it would have been a groan.

Ugh. Exasperation. Frustration. Resignation. Irritation. Disappointment.

At least once a day, someone asks me how much weight I’ve lost or how much debt I paid off. Totally fair questions and I’m happy to answer them (except I don’t own a scale and don’t worry about my present body weight.)

Here’s the thing though – what I’ve gained is so much more interesting.

I’ve gained so much more energy.

I’ve gained happiness.

I’ve gained health.

I’ve gained freedom.

Mental clarity.

Certainty.

Confidence.

Peace.

Opportunity.

This shift from “less” to “more” is what we’re diving into today. It’s not just a more peaceful perspective, we’ll talk about why it’s a more effective one, too!

Resources:

Get your copy of Chasing Cupcakes!

Related Episodes 

Episode 552 – The Backstory of Chasing Cupcakes

Episode 547 – 10 Ideas Worth Spreading

Episode 550 – My Coaching Methodology

Episode 532 – Finding Your Way to Win

Follow me on Instagram

Gut Punched & Embarrassed

I like to keep it SUPER real with you. I’m not immune to struggles and hard moments. In fact, I had an incredibly challenging moment this week, but it turned out to be a very valuable learning experience.

If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play below. I highly recommend listening. It’s a bit more entertaining. 

Tuesday, January 15th started out as a great day. We were just a few days into the Chasing Cupcakes launch, I closed on the new property on Cape Cod and I was settling back into my rhythm.  I was up early, as usual, reading, journaling and drinking coffee. In my reading, I came across a story that I wanted to send my sister Debi. I found it super motivating so I recorded myself reading it and texted it to her. The story came from Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening. I highly recommend you get a copy. I’ll paraphrase the story for you so you get the backstory – it matters. The full version is in the audio of this blog, linked here

A Hindu master, tired of his apprentice always complaining, decided to teach him a lesson. He told him to take a handful of salt, pour it in a glass of water, and then drink from the glass.

It was awful. Miserable to drink.

The Hindu master then walked with his young apprentice to a nearby lake and instructed his student to take a second handful of salt and put it in the lake.

“Drink from the lake”, he instructed him.

The water was fresh. The young man couldn’t taste the salt.

“Son, the pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. So, when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is enlarge your sense of things…Stop being a glass, become a lake.”

I sent the message off to my sister and went about my day. A few hours later I had a call with my book publisher to talk, for the first time since the release only 4 days earlier, about the initial sales numbers.

It’s my first book, so I didn’t really have a concept of how many I would sell. I do know my podcast numbers, so I thought that a good percentage of podcast listeners would be eager to buy the book. Plus, Chasing Cupcakes hit #1 new release in multiple categories on day one and made it to an overall top 200 list.

Based on those things, I had high expectations for the number of copies sold.

When I saw the numbers that day, I instantly felt gut punched. Before my rational brain could catch up, I felt sad. Disheartened. I felt like a failure.

The book sales numbers were no where near my podcast listener numbers. No where NEAR.

In a matter of seconds, I realized something major.

This feeling I was experiencing was almost exactly like the feeling I’ve felt a million times before when I’d get on the scale expecting to be several pounds down only to find that the number looking back up at me was the same, or even higher.

In those moments where reality didn’t reflect my expectations for weight loss, I’d often choose the perspective of, “What’s the point? Who even cares? Why do I try? This is pointless.

So, as I sat at the table, looking at the book sale numbers and thinking about all those times I felt a similar way, I reminded myself:

How I respond in these moments determines where I go in my life.

It determines if I make progress or not. It determines if I’m motivated or not. It determines if I forge ahead or quit all together.

When I would look at the scale and not see the weight loss I was expecting or hoping for, how I responded was the difference maker:

  • Do I feel sorry for myself?
  • Do I throw a pity party?
  • Do I see it as an opportunity to proceed more intelligently?

I was facing the same decision in that moment.

How I respond to a reality that doesn’t match my expectations determines where I go moving forward.

Would I throw a pity party and feel sorry for myself or would I choose to be curious instead of critical? Would I choose to use this information to proceed differently and more intelligently?

Would I tuck my tail between my legs and give up or would I use this moment to fuel growth and process?

I chose the latter. First, I had to check my expectations. I have never written a book. I don’t know what’s reasonable for sales.

My publisher told me the numbers were excellent.

Then, I had to shift gears.

“If I want to make this better, what are all my options? What can I do about it? How can I participate in the solution instead of fixating on the problem?”

I created a list of ideas, strategies, questions and tactics. When I shifted from how I felt about the problem to what I could do to create a solution, I immediately felt re-invigorated, determined and focused. 

But it’s not just about tactics. It’s also about mindset. In fact, it’s mostly about mindset. I thought back to the story I shared with my sister. I was being a glass – swallowing that salty water. Being a small container. Choosing a limited view.

This was my opportunity to be a lake. The amount of pain is the same, but my experience of it depends on my perspective. On my mind. On my heart.

I could choose to think small – the first 4 days of sales were not what I thought they would be.

Or, I could think bigger and essentially eliminate the pain.

  • I wrote a book that I’m proud of
  • It has dozens of 5-star reviews in the first few days
  • The feedback has been amazing
  • It hit #1 new release in multiple categories immediately out of the gate
  • I’m a first time author with a lot to learn
  • Nothing comes easily – I have to adjust and improve from here
  • Listening to a free podcast is an easier decision than spending money on a book, especially when most people don’t yet realize why reading is so insanely valuable

I share this with you because we come to these crossroads moments all the time in life.

We feel disappointed in ourselves or in others. We feel frustrated, defeated or embarrassed.

In those moments, we have a choice. We can throw a pity party and stop trying or we can choose to use the moment to proceed more intelligently.

Every moment of frustration is an opportunity to practice.

553: Chaos Without Crisis

553: Chaos Without Crisis

I used to use stress, pressure, chaos and crisis as reasons to not take care of myself. As soon as life got hard, I’d stop trying. I’d stop making good food choices, I’d stop going to the gym, I’d stop being financially responsible. I’d check out.

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not always easy to do the right things when it feels like you’re in crisis mode, but there are a few things I knew for sure:

  1. Take care of yourself makes the chaos dramatically more manageable
  2. Not taking care of yourself makes it dramatically more difficult to manage
  3. It is possible to make great choices when life is hard
  4. It is worth it

Last week was straight CHAOS for me. I closed on a new property and there were innumerable hoops to jump through at the last minute. I moved into it. I moved out of my tiny house the same day. My boyfriend moved in with me. A new tenant moved into the tiny house. My 98-year-old grandmother was in the hospital and required surgery. My first book launched. The 12 WT launched. Plus, I had my normal workload, which is quite heavy to begin with.

I was determined to not only get through the week, but to enjoy it and to take impeccable care of myself through it all. In today’s podcast, I’m sharing my own strategies for navigating chaos without crisis and without putting self-care on the back burner.

Resources:

Buy Chasing Cupcakes!

In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.

Follow me on Instagram

550: My Coaching Method & Process

550: My Coaching Method & Process

Today I’m sharing my coaching method with you. This isn’t just how I work with clients, it’s how I coach myself. I’m not on a diet and I don’t “put” my clients on a diet.

I’m not into guilt, drama, negativity, sacrifice or an obsession with a “goal weight”.

Today I’ll share with you my thoughts on paying attention, aligning your thoughts with what you want, creating change via evolution, not revolution, improving your outlook and constantly adjusting.

If you are ready to do things differently and create permanent change (while enjoying the process), this is your episode.

Before we dive into the episode: today I shared an opportunity for you to take a sneak peak inside the winter 12 Weeks to Transformation! While the podcast is mostly about information and strategy, the 12 WT is all about action. It’s about getting off the sidelines, into the game, and returning to action every day. In addition to weekly challenges, a guided daily journal, a private Facebook group and weekly live Q&As, I also share short daily coaching audio messages to help you return to your intentions each day, no matter what’s going on in your life. Want to experience 5 days of those short coaching messages? Share your email address here and you’ll get coaching messages right to your inbox for the next 5 days!

Get 5 days of coaching messages delivered right to your inbox <<<<

Resources:

Want to join the Winter 2019 12 Weeks to Transformation? Secure your spot here! 

Still want to learn more about the 12 WT process? Listen to episode 546 of the Primal Potential Podcast

Related Episodes:

Follow me on Instagram

Download a free chapter from Chasing Cupcakes.

Enter your first name and email below and I'll send over chapter nine from my best-selling book. 

Thanks! Check your inbox.