Nov 11, 2019 | Podcast
One of the most critical skills for growth and success is getting motivated, staying motivated and building motivation. It’s often too easy to say you want something, but to then follow through and do what you need to… day-in and day-out, that’s hard. To achieve this you need to be motivated.
Yet getting motivated is only the start. Staying motivated is a continuous process and I see many people look for motivation in the wrong places. In today’s episode, I talk about where you shouldn’t seek motivation and where you should go instead to find it.
I’ve written an article about getting motivated that accompanies this episode below. Whether you choose to read, listen or both, make today the day you not only get motivated but stay motivated indefinitely,
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
- The significant role today (11/11) plays in my life, and how it’s closely linked to the importance of getting motivated and staying motivated.
- How getting motivated is only the first step, and that what happens next is what determines your success and growth.
- The role pleasure and pain play in motivation, and how a small tweak to your perspective can change how you approach everything in life.
- How our negative association with discipline is more impactful than you may imagine.
- That the stories we tell ourselves can set us up to succeed or place us down a path of failure (before we even begin).
- The number one reason why people get stuck (both in getting motivated and staying motivated)…
- AND the simple question you can ask yourself that will bring you back into perfect alignment with your goals.
- A few of my favorite quotes about motivation, and how you can use these to get, build and stay motivated indefinitely.
TODAY’S RESOURCES:
It doesn’t matter what you want to achieve in life, you always NEED this one thing if you want to succeed…
MOTIVATION!
Everything you do requires motivation. If you want to succeed with your job or business, you need to be motivated. If you would like to lose weight or get healthy, you need to be motivated. If you want to start a new habit, you NEED to be motivated.
Without motivation, everything is a struggle.
Yet once you’re truly motivated… most things feel kind of easy.
The problem is, this is one of the biggest struggles most people have. You know what it feels like to be motivated, and you know that you need to be. But how do you get motivated, and more importantly… how do you stay motivated?
This has to be the number one thing clients and listeners ask me.
- The struggle of getting motivated.
- The struggle of staying motivated.
- or often, a mix of the two…
Oftentimes it may feel just out of reach. If only you could get motivated everything would come together…
Well, it’s easier than you may imagine.
It’s just that most people look in the wrong place for it…
The Role of Pleasure and Pain in Getting Motivated
As humans, we’re hard-wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain.
If you want to get motivated (and stay that way), you need to find pleasure in what you’re doing. It also helps to associate pain in not doing it. Which is fine if you’re doing something you love.
But this is the problem, right?
Sometimes you feel like you have to do things that you don’t want to do.
This used to frustrate me. I would hear this take on pleasure and pain and say something along the lines of, “But I find pleasure in eating cupcakes. And I find working out hard and painful.”
So if pain and pleasure impact your motivation, I was destinated to say unhealthy because I was motivated to eat cupcakes and not workout. Right?
Well, no! The pleasure and pain have nothing to do with the “thing”, but rather the story we tell ourselves about it. For a long time, I associated going to the gym as being hard. I would be disciplined and make myself go, but I hated it. So I always associated discipline with pain.
I told myself a story that to be disciplined was hard and painful. I wanted to avoid the pain, and so I’d seek pleasure elsewhere (inside a cupcake, for instance).
But all these are, are stories.
Stories that WE tell ourselves.
This is good news because it means you can create a new story whenever you like.
Discipline = Freedom!
The stories we tell ourselves run the show. If you associate discipline with pain, you’ll resit it. Yet if you change your perspective so you suddenly associate discipline with freedom, you won’t.
- Eating a cupcake was pleasurable in the moment, but caused great pain the rest of the time.
- Whereas working out was painful in the moment, but brought me great pleasure afterward.
I began to tell myself a new story… if I take care of mind and body I’ll experience great freedom (pleasure). Whereas if I eat cupcakes today, I’ll remain in this body that I hate (pain).
Same situation.
New narrative!
You always get to choose your perspective. Yet this is why so many people struggle with getting motivated in the first place because they look outside of themselves. They assume they’ll get motivated by reading a book, listening to a podcast or watching an inspirational video.
These things can help, sure.
But they are never the source.
True motivation is something YOU create.
It happens inside you; in the stories you tell.
Yet how often do you focus on the past and what went wrong last time? Or maybe you focus on the short term pain and forget about the pleasure you’ll get aftward…
None of this is motivating, so you turn to a podcast or read a book, and you feel motivated for a while.
But it doesn’t last because inside you’re telling yourself the same stories.
Are You Clear on What You Want?
It’s a vicious cycle. Inside you’re telling yourself stories that set you up for failure, so you look for motivation outside yourself, via books, podcasts and videos. You feel motivated for a little while, make a little progress but then go back to old habits.
This further fuels those internal stories, and you keep focussing on the past and how you always fail.
You repeat the same pattern. Nothing seems to change!
Getting motivated is hard. But staying motivated feels impossible.
And it stays this way until you get CLEAR on what you want.
I see this often with people inside the 12 Weeks to Transformation.
I ask them what they want. They tell me. That part is easy.
But when I ask them to make a case for it and tell me why they want it, they struggle.
Take me and my past struggle with weight loss…
I knew what I wanted. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be healthier. I wanted to feel good in my own body. But why did I want this? If I did make the changes I desired, what impact would it have on me, my family and my life overall?
Wow. This forced me to think differently. To ask myself what I really wanted, and more importantly… WHY I wanted it. I got clear on what life would look like if I lost weight and got healthy.
I could picture it. I wanted it. I needed it.
I found the motivation inside me. It was there all along, waiting for me.
Motivation like this is much more powerful than any you’ll find in a book.
Two Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Right Now!
I talk about these two questions in the latest episode of the Primal Potential podcast, so to get the full insight into these I encourage you to listen to it in full.
These two questions force you to question your current outlook. They help you figure out why you want what you want, so you don’t have to look for motivation elsewhere.
The first is:
What would it look like if you were highly motivated today?
If you were highly motivated right now, what would you do? Would you eat that cupcake? Would you scroll through Facebook? Would you watch TV instead of going to the gym?
If you were highly motivated today, how would you spend your day? Would you be on your phone or focus solely on your work. Picture yourself as this person. Think about who she is and what she’s doing.
After you have, ask yourself this next question:
Why do I want this? WHY is it important?
Why would you put down the cupcake? Why would you go to the gym instead of watching TV?
What’s the purpose? What’s the positive outcome that you’ll get to experience afterward?
Why are you doing it? Why does it matter to you so much? Make a case for it!
Asking yourself these two questions is powerful. They not only help you get clear on what you want, but they help you appreciate why you want it. This is how you change that narrative and turn your outlook from negative to positive.
Do you tell the story of why you don’t want to or make a case for why you do?
This is one of the main reasons I journal each day. I think about these questions. Each day, I want to make sure that I’m clear on what I’m doing and why. It helps me stay motivated and focussed.
It doesn’t just happen.
People aren’t born highly motivated.
It’s a conscious act. One you have to repeat.
I share some more stories within the latest episode, so please listen to it in full to get a full insight into getting motivated, staying motivated and the impact all this has had on my life.
I also share some of my favorite quotes from Brendon Burchard that have helped me over the years.
And if you want help with this and join a group of women ready to get and stay motivated, I encourage you to join the Free 7 Day Challenge I’m running. Over these seven days, I’ll send you journal prompts, questions and other exercises that will help you in getting motivated and staying that way.
There are two ways you can get involved
- Via the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List
- Join the free Primal Potential Facebook Group
Getting motivated doesn’t have to be hard, and it becomes easier when you don’t go it on your own.
Thanks for reading today. Please listen to the podcast that accompanies this article in full, as I share several stories from my own life, as well as those from listeners and members of the 12 Weeks to Transformation. Getting motivated is so important, and once you start looking in the right place… it gets much easier.
Thanks for reading today. Please listen to the podcast that accompanies this article in full, as I share several stories from my own life, as well as those from listeners and members of the 12 Weeks to Transformation. Getting motivated is so important, and once you start looking in the right place… it gets much easier.
I also share some of my favorite quotes in the episode, so that’s another reason to listen as some of these could be perfect affirmations for you 🙂
And remember to join me on the Free 7 Day Challenge that’s coming up.
There are two ways to get involved.
- via the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List
- join the free Primal Potential Facebook Group
Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions about this, please add them in the comments below. And to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media, follow the links below.
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Nov 7, 2019 | Podcast
You need to take responsibility for your choices, your attitude, your goals and your progress. It’s long past time you stop blaming your circumstances! It’s time to take full responsibility, no matter what your situation.
In today’s episode, I passionately call for you to take full responsibility. It’s always easier to blame someone else or on the fact you don’t have enough time, money or energy. There’s always an excuse, and they’re often valid and easy to rationalize. It does not matter! You need to take full responsibility if you wish to lead the life you desire. In today’s episode, I share how you can do this — starting today.
I’ve written an article that accompanies this, where I dive deeper into the importance of taking full responsibility for your life and goals. Whether you choose to read, listen or both, make today the day you draw a line in the sand and make huge progress.
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
- How important it is for you to take full responsibility of your goals, your time and your life.
- That there will always be a valid excuse for what you can’t do, but how it does not matter because it remains within your control (and it remains YOUR choice).
- How I was inspired to record today’s episode after a conversation with Sarah, and how we both spotted a common pattern among members of the 12 Weeks to Transformation.
- That you can still make GREAT choices no matter what your situation is (and no matter how little time, money or energy you have).
- What the first step to taking full responsibility looks like (and how you can do this right now — starting today!)
- What life looks on the other side of all this, and the incredible impact it has on your health, mindset and relationships.
- How taking full responsibility has no boundaries (you choose to do this with your work, family life, health and everything else that is part of YOUR life)
TODAY’S RESOURCES:
I looked at Sarah and said, “isn’t it amazing how few people take full responsibility for their lives and are so quick to blame others?”
Sarah helps me manage the 12 Weeks to Transformation, ensuring everything runs smoothly and that each member gets the accountability and action they deserve. She updated me on various members, as she does each week.
Nobody blatantly blamed someone else, but a common pattern I spotted was that everyone had a reason for why they couldn’t watch a video, complete an action, make progress this week, and so on…
It dawned on me: hardly anyone takes full responsibility for their life.
I didn’t use to. For a long time, I would blame someone else or my situation.
I always had a reason why I couldn’t achieve what I wanted to:
- Not enough time.
- Not enough money at the moment.
- My job is too exhausting.
- My partner doesn’t support me.
- Hormones…
I was able to validate all these excuses, too. The truth was, I didn’t have enough time or money. My job did exhaust me. My personal life would sometimes get in the way of my personal growth and diet.
I had a valid reason to blame my situation.
Most people do. Life is often crazy, so there’s always an excuse.
But so what?
Does it really matter?
Whatever your situation, your life remains YOUR life.
It’s Time to Take Full Responsibility No Matter What!
It’s always easier to blame someone or something else. It’s comfortable. So long as you have a reason why you can’t, you feel justified staying within your comfort zone.
It’s safe.
It’s comfortable.
But you’re not here to live a comfortable life. You’re here to live a FULL, meaningful one. You only get one, after all. Do you really want to arrive on your deathbed with regrets? Looking back at all the things you would have liked to do, but didn’t because you couldn’t find the time, money or energy?
The bottom line is, you will always have a valid excuse as to why you can’t. It’s doesn’t matter. You cannot let this prevent you from taking full responsibility for your life, your actions and your choices.
Taking full responsibility is a choice. It’s one you have always had and always will.
And it’s one you have right now (no matter what your current situation is).
Nobody Else Can Build The Life You Want But You!
I recorded the episode that inspired this article on a whim. I intended to record a science-based episode, but couldn’t get this idea of taking full responsibility out of my head.
I see it holding so many people back.
Not just those inside the 12 Weeks to Transformation…
- But listeners who send me emails…
- Friends and family members I speak to…
- People I see online, sharing messages on social media…
They validate why they can’t.
Instead of finding a reason why they can.
Life isn’t easy. There will always be “something” that stands in your way. There is never the perfect time, perfect situation or a period where the stars align. If that’s what you’re waiting for, you’ll wait forever.
… until one day you lay on that deathbed and have nothing but your past to look back on.
This is your life. It’s yours to take full responsibility for and do what you want to do and what you need to. Nobody else will give you the life you desire. They’re all busy living their own lives.
All you can do is focus on yours. Once you do, you won’t only serve YOU but those around you, too.
An aspect of the stoic philosophy I love surrounds the notion that how you lead yourself is more important than how you lead others.
- If you want to be the best parent you can be, focus on YOU!
- If you want to be the best leader at work, focus on YOU!
- If you want to be the best partner you can, focus on YOU!
Take full responsibility of your life. Be there for others, but don’t sacrifice what you need for their cause. It leads to resentment and frustration and does nothing but fuel those excuses as to why you can’t.
You can, but you never will until you take full responsibility.
How To Take Full Responsibility (no matter what your situation is)
I talk about this in greater detail in the episode that accompanies this article. I encourage you to listen to it in full, because not only do I share some tactical advice that will help you take action TODAY… but I also share a few stories, examples and anecdotes.
Listen to the latest episode of the Primal Potential podcast here ⇒
I’ll keep things simple with this article. If you want to take full responsibility of your life:
- Be conscious of when you’re not taking full responsibility
- Practice the aft of taking FULL RESPONSIBILITY!
That’s it. Simple, I know.
But this doesn’t have to be hard.
I talk about this more in the episode, but it comes down to YOU being aware when you’re blaming someone else or the situation you’re in. If you find yourself coming up with reasons why you can’t, you are choosing NOT to take full responsibility.
It’s a sign to stop and step back, and think about what taking full responsibility looks like.
It’s a practice.
It’s a repetition.
The more you do this, the easier it gets. Bit-by-bit you regain control of your goals, feelings, emotions, and life overall. You take control of those inner conversations and the ones you have with others.
You feel calmer and at peace.
You find it easier to let go.
You realize it is a choice, which gives you all you need to build the life you deserve.
You only get one. The sooner you take full responsibility for it the sooner you get to live it fully and freely.
Thanks for reading this today. Please listen to the podcast that accompanies this article in full, as I passionately talk about why taking full responsibility for your life is so important.
I didn’t intend to record this but felt compelled to.
Not taking full responsibility held me back for so long.
I see it negatively affect other people each day, and I want it to stop.
It is a choice, and it’s one you can make (right now).
In the episode, I talk in greater depth about how you can, as well as give you a few practical tips on what I did and still do (click here to listen to the episode in full)
Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions about this, please add them in the comments below. And to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media, follow the links below.
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Nov 4, 2019 | Podcast
You are very likely slowing or preventing your progress due to this pattern you don’t even notice! There’s a good chance you do it and have never even thought about it. It has a huge impact on the progress you do and don’t make.
Becoming conscious of this and removing it from your actions will change your behavior overnight, progress you toward your goals, upgrade your mindset and improve your relationship with yourself and others. In today’s episode, I talk about what this pattern is and how you can eradicate it from your life.
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
- One of the most common responses I hear, and the impact it has on your progress.
- How overcoming this pattern begins by changing your perspective (and tweaking your outlook ever so slightly).
- The importance of being conscious of when you do this, and what you can do to spot yourself doing it before you do.
- One of the biggest differences between successful people and those who often fall short of their goals and dreams.
- 5 other patterns I see far too often, and how each one has a similar negative impact on your progress.
- How you can break free from your past and no longer let it define your future.
- The steps you can take to spot each one of these patterns, and how to eradicate them from your thinking once and for all.
- How all this not only impacts your inner dialogue and how you make decisions, but how you also communicate with others.
TODAY’S RESOURCES:
Nov 2, 2019 | Podcast
It’s another listener Q&A episode and I’m in love with the question that asked what book(s) impacted me most this year!
We also dive into questions including:
- How do I become more action oriented and not just a dreamer?
- Why do my addictions transfer? When I have my eating habits squared away, my finances really get out of control. When I rein in my finances, my addiction to exercise spikes! Frustrating!
- How do you let go of loved ones?
- What do you do if you have food sensitivities? I can’t eat eggs or avocados (and a few other things) right now.
If you want to get on the wait list for the Winter 2020 12 Weeks to Transformation, you can do so here!
Today’s show sponsor is Four Sigmatic! If you haven’t grabbed their mushroom chocolate, get it before it’s gone and use the coupon code PRIMAL to save 15%!
Oct 31, 2019 | Podcast
Do you believe Financial Freedom is possible for you? Is it even an option, or do you believe it’s something reserved for other people? Not you. No way… you’re an “X” so you can’t possibly be financially free…
It isn’t true. Financial freedom IS an option for every single one of us, no matter your age, income, family status or education. In today’s episode, I explore what it takes to become financially free, no matter who you are or what your situation is.
I share 5 steps you can take. I’ve also written about these, so whether you choose to read or listen (or both), give yourself permission to believe that financial freedom is possible for YOU. Not just a possibility, but an inevitability.
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
- How this is one of the most common questions I get from listeners, and why the idea of financial freedom seems so impossible for so many
- Why defining what financial freedom means to you is the first step (and how it’s possibly the most important one of all)
- How YOU can choose to open the door to financial freedom or keep it closed for the rest of your life
- What the 5 Steps to Financial Freedom are, and how you can choose to take each one of them (there’s no time like now)
- About the book that changed my life, and how it helped me escape $130,000 of debt
- How an athlete recently changed my entire perception of what’s possible, and how it’s got more to do with your financial freedom than you may think
- A few tactical steps you can take to monitor your finances and become aware of exactly how much you have at all times
- Why the number “5” is so important when it comes to creating true financial freedom
TODAY’S RESOURCES:
One of the most common questions I’m sent focusses on… yep, you guessed it: MONEY!
Financial Freedom… is it even possible for a person like me?
I see other people who have it.
I would love to have it. If I did…
- I’d feel less stressed…
- My relationships would be better…
- I could travel more and experience new things…
- I would give my family the life they deserve…
But… BUT… I guess it just isn’t for me. I’m “X”, so surely someone like me would never have true financial freedom. I’ll always have to live on a budget, be careful with my money and save relentlessly.
This is my life. I guess I just have to accept it.
NO! If you can relate to this in any way, please know that it is NOT true. Financial Freedom is possible for you, and I believe it’s possible for every one of us.
Financial Freedom… Closer Than You Think?
Not long ago, I was $130,000 in debt. The idea of financial freedom was a distant dream. I too didn’t allow myself to think it was possible, which is why I remained stuck where I was for so long.
The first step to all this is to know that you can have it.
Financial freedom is possible. It IS possible for you.
I promise you that.
The next step is to define it. This is where most people get stuck. I speak to listeners and clients who tell me about why they couldn’t possibly be financially free. So I ask them: what does it look like for you?
Often, they do not know.
They’ve never thought about it.
It’s time to. What does becoming financially free mean to you?
- Is it an extra $2,000 per month?
- Is it to pay your bills and have enough left over for an annual vacation?
- Is it to buy the car you’ve always wanted (or a boat)?
There’s no right or wrong answer. Financial freedom means something different to everyone. That’s the point. You need to define what it means to you. Once you do, you can work your way toward it.
Until you do, you’ll likely remain stuck in a scarcity mindset.
Get clear about what you want. Once you have, these 5 Steps to Financial Freedom will help.
1: Take Full Ownership of Your Earning Power
I discuss all 5 of these steps in greater detail in the podcast episode that accompanies this. I encourage you to listen to it in full, as I explore financial freedom in a way I never could in an article like this one.
It all begins — no matter what your situation is or how you define financial freedom — with this: YOU taking ownership of your earning power.
This means you have to STOP accepting your current life (unless it’s one you love, of course). You can have any life you wish. It is possible. It’s within your reach.
But nobody will hand it to you.
YOU are the one who must take it.
Instead of coming up with excuses about why you can’t… focus on solutions that you’ve yet to try. In this day and age, everyone can make more money. Maybe you need to get creative. Maybe you need to take a risk. Maybe you need to push outside your comfort zone. Maybe you need to do all these things…
It’s possible. You must believe this!
2: Get and Stay Debt Free
I talk more about the sort of debt you need to stay clear of in the episode, so be sure to listen to it in full.
The point is that you’ll never become financially free while you have debt hanging over your head.
Depending on how much debt you have, it may be a tough and long road ahead.
But it is possible for you to get debt-free, and more important… Stay Debt Free!
Not long ago, I was stuck with $130,000 of debt. It hung over me like a dark cloud. I never believed I would escape it. Yet I read ‘Total Money Makeover’ by Dave Ramsey, which showed me a simple process to take. Did I become debt-free overnight? No.
Did I take daily steps and make more progress than I ever thought possible? YES!
Whatever your debt is, you can escape it. If you want financial freedom, you need to make it a priority.
3: Level Up!
Wherever you are right now, you need to set a new standard for yourself. A higher standard; one that expects more of you, and pushes you to challenge yourself to grow.
There are three aspects to this:
1: Mindset
You need to level up your mindset. Instead of settling for what you have, get clear on what you can have and who you can become. I use affirmations to remind myself of who I want to be and where I am going every day. I push myself to level up every single day.
It begins within you. YOU need to set a higher standard for the life YOU live.
2: Environment
Who do you surround yourself with? Do they have a positive impact on you, or do they fuel the scarcity mindset that keeps you settling for less?
You can’t always rid yourself of all the people you would like (family, for instance), but maybe you can distance yourself from some. Either way, you can choose to spend time with positive, abundant people. You can join a mastermind or hire a mentor.
You can even start small by joining a free Facebook Group like our Primal Potential one.
3: Education
You likely don’t have all the answers you need, but all the information you require is available to you. Dave Ramsey’s book helped me escape debt. There are podcasts and video series, and courses designed to help you level up your money management.
Level up. It’s time to level up your mindset, environment and education.
4: Monitor!
If you know me, you know how much I value AWARENESS!
It’s the first step to all growth. You cannot begin until you know where you are. The same applies to your financial freedom. You need to monitor and track it, and measure the progress you make.
I discuss a few ways I do this in the episode that accompanies this article.
Listen to it in full to learn a few practices to monitor and measure your wealth.
Once you do, your financial freedom will become more possible than ever before.
5: Diversify
One of the biggest barriers that prevents people from financial freedom is the belief that one income stream is enough. You need to have a very good job to achieve this.
Even then it will steal so much of your time that you won’t feel free.
For financial freedom, you need multiple streams of income — I personally believe you need five.
Here’s mine:
- Real Estate
- Stocks and Bonds (not including my 401K)
- My Primary Hustle (Primal Potential, and all the products and services that come under it)
- Books/Royalties
- My Side Hustle (Amare — the mental wellness company I’m involved with)
The point is to not place all your eggs in a single basket. If you do, and your situation changes, your entire world can flip upside down. Always look to diversify your income. If you currently have one, think about how you can add a second.
Start small, progress and keep going until you have five income streams that fuel your ideal lifestyle.
Financial freedom isn’t a fantasy. For many generations throughout history it was. That is no longer the case. You have access to so much opportunity that it would be ridiculous if you didn’t take advantage.
You deserve financial freedom.
It is within your reach.
It begins by defining what financial freedom means to you. Get clear on this. Don’t just read this and listen to the podcast… Take action. Take the time to think about YOUR financial freedom. Once you do, you may see it’s not only possible… but rather inevitable.
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Thanks for reading. Please listen to the podcast that accompanies this article in full, as I discuss these 5 steps to financial freedom in much greater detail. I also share several practical steps you can take today, so you no longer have to settle for less.
I’ve been there. When I had a $130,000 debt hanging over me, I didn’t believe financial freedom was possible for me. Yet today I am. If I can do it, so can you. I explain how in this episode ⇒
Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions about financial freedom, add them in the comments below. And to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media, follow the links below.
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