Back when I routinely yo-yo dieting and followed ridiculous weight-loss plans, being “on” a diet meant the end of my social life. I’d refuse to go out with friends or out to dinner with my husband. Not only could I not handle the temptation of the mixed drinks and bread basket, but I felt like making healthy, fat-loss choices would be nearly impossible no matter where I went. Fortunately, now I know better.
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t go out to eat all that often but that’s really because I prefer the healthy, simple food I prepare for myself to that which is prepared for me at a restaurant. I don’t fear eating out and it I now know that eating out doesn’t mean having to take a night off from my fat loss goals. I can make great, fat loss choices no matter where I end up.
For example – a couple weeks ago I enjoyed dinner out at an Asian fusion restaurant. TONS of great fat loss options! I always avoid meats that are breaded or fried and look for baked, grilled or broiled proteins. I’ll usually skip the starch (potato, pasta, rice) and request double veggies, even if I have to pay a little extra. On this particular night, I enjoyed an insanely delicious dish of scallops with veggies over a corn puree. Corn is a starchy vegetable so I only enjoyed a couple of bites.
A couple weeks before that I was at an out-of-town conference and had to choose a restaurant within walking distance. I ended up at a cute little brew pub that had a fantastic burger menu. Right up my fat loss alley! I ordered a bison burger with avocado and bacon, asked that they hold the bun and substitute my fries for a side salad. It was absolutely delicious!!
Not long before that I went to a barbeque joint with my husband and his friend. Sure, the corn bread sounded good but it wasn’t more appealing than reaching my goals! I ordered a steak that came with a choice of two sides. I passed on the corn bread and mashed potatoes and instead got a double side of steamed broccoli.
One last example for ya! I was visiting home and took my grandmother out for lunch. The menu was pretty limited but I knew I could find something that would work. I ordered a green salad with beets and goat cheese. I asked them not to include the candied nuts (packed with sugar!!) and to please add chicken and put the dressing on the side. I was satisfied and left without any guilt (or hunger!).
My point is this: do not stress about going out. Enjoy lunches and dinners with your friends. Let your spouse treat you to a nice evening out. But do not let every trip to a restaurant be an excuse to blow off your goals and go to town on the bread basket. You can enjoy great meals and feel totally satisfied without going totally off the rails. I promise!!!
We all need a little motivation for our workouts sometimes. Pushing through a workout isn’t always easy. I’ve had tons of days in the gym when I just haven’t felt totally connected to what I was doing. I didn’t feel like putting in my best effort, I didn’t feel strong or I didn’t feel motivated. If I gave in to those feelings every time, I’d rarely get in a good workout and I certainly wouldn’t be able to build much strength, endurance or mental toughness. When I’m not feeling like putting in the hard work, I have a few steps I work through to get my mind in the right place and bust out a killer workout.
If my issue is that I don’t want to go to the gym in general, I don’t even listen to that voice in my head. It’s not an option (unless I’m injured or it’s a rest day). I will, however, tell myself just to go and get started. If I need to change plans once I get there and do something other than what I’ve planned, that’s OK. But rule number 1 for me is just get there. There will always be reasons not to go, but what will make the difference in whether or not I reach my goals is my ability to follow through. I follow through. I get to the gym.
Sometimes, though, even when I’m there I just don’t really feel it. Maybe I’m tired or feeling frustrated and the last thing I want to do is push through a hard workout. Here are some tricks that have worked for me.
Pick a motivating scenario and play it through in your head. Do you have a class reunion coming up or maybe a friend’s wedding? Imagine exactly what you’ll wear and how flawless you’ll look in it. Imagine how people will react when they see what a transformation you’ve made. Think about how proud you’ll be and how excited you’ll feel. Think about every single detail and truly dive into the moment. Oftentimes this is the strategy I’ll use when I’m doing bike or rowing sprints and I want to quit. Not only does it really motivate me but it also helps distract me and the time flies by more quickly.
Play a song that really speaks to you. When Katy Perry’s “Roar” first came out, I think I kept it on repeat during my workouts (not really, but almost!). It can’t just be a song that you like or that energizes you. It has to be a song that really tugs at that person you want to be or that goal you know you can reach. Lose yourself in that song for a moment. This is usually enough to trigger me to remember that the ONLY way to my goals is through pushing myself. If I’m comfortable all the time, I won’t be stretched enough to get where I need to go.
Imagine what is happening inside your body as you push yourself. I do this all the time. Maybe it’s my inner dork, but it really works for me. For example, I hate burpees. They’re hard. They make me sweat and they make me breathless. But damn do they work. Usually when I do them, I want to quit within a minute. Instead, I imagine what’s happening in my body as I work so hard. I imagine fat being released from cells. I imagine it being carried through my body (thanks to the increased blood flow from those damn burpees) and entering another cell to be burned. I imagine my legs or my belly getting leaner as I push myself to the max.
I don’t know what will work for you but I do know this: giving up won’t work. Never pushing past your comfort zone is not what it will take to get you to your goals. It’s not supposed to be comfortable.Embrace the discomfort because it’s what is required to transform you into what you’re trying to become.
Have you ever considered doing what it takes to lose weight and get healthy and then thought “it’s too hard”? Have you ever looked at yourself and acknowledged that you aren’t happy with your body but thought “I can’t do what it takes to change”?
I hear those comments all the time. People will tell me how impressed they are by my weight loss and share that they wish they could do the same but they just don’t have that kind of self control or they just couldn’t make the necessary changes in their eating habits.
While I certainly understand those sentiments, I completely disagree. I’ve gotta ask: What feels better? Does it feel better to always be pining after a life other than your own or does it feel better to wake up with intention and work towards something you want?
Does it feel better to look in the mirror with resignation and embarrassment or pride and determination?
Does it feel better to indulge and feel guilty and lethargic or practice willpower and feel encouraged and empowered?
Does it feel better to let your body waste away or to engage it, challenge it and make it stronger?
Does it feel better to cancel doctor appointments out of fear and denial or look forward to them as an opportunity to see the results of your transformation?
Does it feel better to exist or to thrive?
Is the way you’re living now really superior to a life of health, wellness, improvement and strength? Do you really want to choose chips and cookies over loving what you see in the mirror? Are they REALLY worth it?
Remember: improving your life and embracing healthy changes isn’t about a radical shift. It’s ok (and preferable!) to start slowly. Identify one small, healthy change at a time and practice it until you master it. Build on your new healthy habit as you gain momentum.
Committing to a healthier you doesn’t mean goodbye forever to your favorite indulgences. It just means that you’re gradually working towards a disciplined, moderate, healthy lifestyle. Take it from me: I’ve lived both ways. This way feels better.
I tried to lose weight for over 20 years. Sometimes I was able to but I inevitably piled the weight back on – always more quickly than I had lost it. I doubted my ability to ever permanently lose the weight and truly be healthy. I thought I’d always have to rely on gimmicks, tricks, crazy ridiculous diets or diet pills if I EVER wanted to get to a “healthy” weight and stay there.
In my late twenties I embarked on a totally different journey. I was determined to get out of debt. Between my husband and I, we had well over $100,000 in student loans and other small, miscellaneous debts – just over $130,000, actually. After reading a Dave Ramsey book, I focused on the goal with unrivaled intensity. We met, and surpassed, our goal in less than 2 years. Little did I know that the process of getting out of debt would teach me everything I needed to know to finally tackle my lifelong weight struggles. It’s true. The crazy parallels between paying off $130,000 and losing over 130 pounds are astonishing. Here’s what getting out of debt taught me about life and extreme weight loss.
Your habits catch up with you
Accruing debt is a lot like gaining weight or delaying weight loss. You figure its ‘just this one’ little expense you’re putting on credit. You’ll deal with it next month. You really need a new outfit for your class reunion so you might as well use the store credit card so you can save 20%. You’ll just use it this once. You go ahead and take out a little more than your financial needs for tuition – you’ll use it for books and maybe a plane ticket to visit your best friend. Just this once. Next semester you’ll save more and only take borrow what you truly need. You’ve exhausted your budget for the month but you really want to have a night out with your spouse so you put it on the credit card – its just one night – you’ll pay it off as soon as you get paid…
All those ‘just this once’ moments catch up with you. You can’t ignore them forever. They add up. In the moment, they seem like small concessions but five years later you’re looking back on a mountain of debt. Isn’t that true of how we gain weight or fail to lose it? We figure one cupcake won’t hurt. You’ll do better tomorrow. Then you go on vacation and you figure you might as well “let loose” – what’s a week? Your co-worker brings donuts in to work and you justify that one little donut won’t do much. Just like with debt, all those small concessions add up to years of damage to deal with. Your little habits DO count. Small concessions make all the difference.
A season of discipline doesn’t mean you’ll never enjoy your favorite things again.
We could not have paid off our debts without discipline. There was no way to have our cake and eat it too. We had to cut back. We had to temporarily pass up vacation opportunities or other fun things we might have otherwise been all about. But doing so for a season opened up many other opportunities that we wouldn’t have had if we were still in debt. The same is true of weight loss. Yes, you’ll have to be disciplined. You’ll have to be focused. You’ll have to say “no, thank you” to a few things. But it’s only for a season. Sure, you won’t ever be able to mindlessly indulge in anything and everything just like we won’t ever rack up 130,000 in debt ever again. But a season of discipline and saying “no, thank you” doesn’t mean you’ll never eat ice cream again or ever enjoy your favorite pizza. For years I quit diet after diet because I felt like I had signed on for a lifetime of deprivation and misery. It’s all in your perspective. A season of focused discipline opens all kinds of doors.
You can’t hit a target you can’t see.
Getting out of debt was a huge goal. We needed a plan and a timeline. It wasn’t going to happen overnight. We had to know where we were headed and what it would take to get there. I knew exactly what debt was getting eliminated next and approximately how long it would take to get there. I had to look at our budget and figure out what could be cut, what could stay and come up with creative ways to bring in more cash. Sure, the unexpected will come up but you must have goals. Without goals and a plan, not only would it have been hard to stay motivated, it probably would have been impossible to get where we wanted to go. Weight loss is no different. You’ve got to break it down into smaller parts. Establish small, short-term goals and focus your energy towards them.Have a long-term plan but feverishly pursue short-term targets.
Celebrate your progress.
I can’t tell you how excited I would get when I reached one of my small goals. I’d look forward to it for weeks and be over the moon to pay off a small student loan or get a car title in the mail. It was empowering and such a great symbol of the hard work and discipline it took to get there. It’s easy, however, to get caught up in how much further it is to go. Yes, the journey continues; the journey always continues, but you need to stop and take a moment to celebrate how far you’ve come. There’s no question that this is also true of weight loss. It can be easy to overlook your victories because you feel frustrated and discouraged by how far there still is to go. I get that. But I can also guarantee you that if you don’t celebrate the little victories along the way, you’ll really wish you had. You’ll look back at those moments you brushed right past – fitting into those jeans you love or getting under 200 lbs for the first time in years – and you’ll see how major they were. Celebrate your progress. Be proud of yourself. Allow other people to celebrate you. It all matters. It’s all a big deal.
Removing major stressors transforms your entire life.
When we were in debt, I can’t say that it was particularly stressful – we were able to easily pay our bills – it just frustrated me that so much of our income was tied up and we were unable to enjoy it. It was more of a nuisance than a stressor. However, the process of getting out of debt was incredibly stressful. At the time, my husband wasn’t really on board with the process. He didn’t like not having all the extra cash at his disposal to go play and have fun. THAT was stressful. When we paid off our debt, not only was that stress gone, but it eliminated countless other pressures and stress. Being unhappy with my job was suddenly far less stressful because financially, I didn’tneedthat job anymore. It was amazing how removing one stressor truly transformed so many other areas. This truth is magnified when it comes to weight loss. Being unhappy with your weight impacts every area of your life – your professional life, your social life, your marriage – you name it. Your confidence and your happiness is paramount. When you finally tackle your weight struggles once and for all it will transform your entire life in ways you could never anticipate.
Progress isn’t linear.
Yup, I’m a planner (everyone who knows me is reading that sentence laughing at what a massive understatement it is!!). I’d like to say that I laid out my plan and everything went smoothly from there. Of course that’s not how it happened. Things came up. Unexpected tax bills, medical bills, home repairs, etc. There will always be setbacks. There will always be things that happen and you can use them as an excuse to throw in the towel and say “well, this isn’t going to work afterall” or you can embrace the opportunity to get creative and find a work around. There wasn’t a single month in two years that went exactly how I planned but you know what? We reached our goals anyway. Progress is not linear in any area of life. Not finances and certainly not weight loss. The same thing happened while I was losing weight. I had a plan. I thought I knew how things would play out. But there were injuries, bad weeks, periods where my body just seemed to not respond to what I was doing. Yes, sometimes I wanted to quit. Sometimes I felt like it just wasn’t working and I questioned the point of it all. But that’s the way ALL journeys will go. Progress isn’t linear so don’t expect it to be. More importantly, don’t use that as an excuse to give up on yourself or your goals.
It’s a lifestyle
If I were to return to the same habits I had when I was in debt, I’d pile the debt right back up. If I were to stop using a budget, even now that I’m debt free, it would be pretty hard to avoid spending more than I make and I’d definitely have trouble setting aside extra cash to save and invest. Getting out of debt fostered habits that are now so deeply engrained in me. It is a lifestyle. Financial responsibility, spending less than you make, and assigning every dollar that comes in is a way of life. I will never go back. This is exactly what is required for lasting weight loss, as well. Sure, I can enjoy ice cream from time to time, just like I can splurge on a vacation or beautiful handbag. But those occasions are the exception, not the rule. Losing weight is about so much more than shedding pounds. It’s about adopting healthy habits that increase your energy, improve your move and prolong your life. It’s not a temporary way of eating. It’s a lifestyle. You can’t ever go back to old, unhealthy habits and expect to maintain your results.
Help yourself and then help others.
As we got out of debt we found that many of our friends and family members were also struggling. We have had countless opportunities to share our story with others and encourage them to do what it takes to pay down their debt. We told them what it had done for us and how we made it work. We shared the hard parts and the great parts. I know we helped a lot of people. I think we still do. The same thing has happened throughout my weight loss journey. As people saw changes in me, they wanted to know what I was doing and how I was making it work. I started to share bits and pieces of my story, offering whatever I could to those who asked. Now, sharing my journey is my life. I don’t want anyone else to struggle the way I have. I know that the more I help myself, the more I have the ability and the opportunity to help others.
Change is hard. Extreme weight loss is rare. Whether its getting out of debt, losing weight, breaking an addiction, changing jobs….its hard. It takes work. It takes discipline. It takes endurance and perseverance. But the skills you’ll learn along the way will be catalysts to achieve absolutely ANYTHING you can dream of.
Let me say right off the bat that calories DO matter when it comes to fat loss. If you’re taking in more fuel (food) than your body needs, the excess will be stored and your body won’t go looking for additional energy to burn (from your stored body fat). However, calories are just ONE part of the equation, and they aren’t the most important part. What matters more? HORMONES.
Seriously. Hormones are chemical messengers. They’re constantly assessing the conditions inside and outside your body and firing off signals and instructions based on what’s going on. Your hormones determine what your body does with the fuel you’re consuming. Your hormones are responsible for instructing your body to either burn fat or store fat. They’re determining if you’re tapping into muscle for fuel. They trigger mood swings, hunger and cravings. They are responsible for your energy, your ability to think clearly (or not), your libido and your metabolic rate.Hormones run the show.
Sure, you can cut calories without regard to hormone balance. Traditional crash diets or extreme exercise routines can wreak total havoc on your hormones. They’ll drain your energy, make you hungry and send your cravings through the roof. Over time, they’ll slow your metabolism – one of the main reasons people tend to regain the weight they lose on such programs. Not only that, any weight you do LOSE is just as likely to be muscle or water as it is fat. Specific hormonal signals are what allow you to burn fat in the first place. Not some arbitrary calorie deficit.
Your body is designed to ensure your survival. When you focus on creating the largest calorie deficit possible by eating less and exercising more, your hormones create a survival-first scenario in your body. It perceives that fuel is scarce and responds by increasing your hunger, increasing your cravings, slowing your metabolism, releasing stress hormones and holding on tighter than ever to your stored fat in case it is needed for survival.
On the other hand, there are basic nutritional and lifestyle principles that balance these hormones. They encourage fat loss. They decrease hunger. They reduce cravings. They improve your mood, outlook and mental focus. They increase your metabolism, quench inflammation and help you sleep better at night.
Want to know more about how you can balance your hormones naturally? Without doctor appointments, without expensive prescription medications? Without turning your life upset down? I am ALWAYS talking about this with the folks on my Primal Potential VIP email list. Click here to get on it now and get a free download that will help get you started!!
