409: Pleasure Vs. Happiness

409: Pleasure Vs. Happiness

There’s a huge difference between choices that bring you pleasure and choices that make you happy. Ultimately, we want to work towards choices that bring both!

In today’s episode I’m talking about an interaction with a Fat Loss Fast Track client who told me that binges make her happy.

Since I’ve had the opportunity to hear her describe those binges, I know it’s not true. I know they make her feel frustrated, defeated, out of control and hopeless.

However, the foods she binges on definitely bring her momentary pleasure.

How can we find the intersection of both? It comes not just to what we eat, but also to why, when and how much we eat.

That’s what we’re diving into in today’s episode. Don’t miss it!

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Resources

Fat Loss Fast Track Wait List

404: Simple Decision Making Criteria

Breaking Barriers – Overcome Emotional Eating & Self-Sabotage

What Is Breaking Barriers

In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.

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Responding To Stress

I used to be a stress eater.

If there had been an award for the the best stress eater, I’d have won it.

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If my picture is any indication, I was one (large) stressed, unhappy woman.

Yeah. Stressed. And, turning to food to ignore my stress, thereby creating even more stress (physically & emotionally).

Here’s what is interesting: my life is busier & more challenging now than it was then. But, I stopped turning to food in response to stress because I’ve learned that’s no solution at all.

Turning to food in response to stress is about as logical as turning to lighter fluid in response to a fire.

I used to tell myself that eating helped. That it made me feel better.

It didn’t. It numbed me. It distracted me. It helped me hide & avoid problems.

But it created more stress, not less.

I’d like to think I’m a bit wiser now. These days, when I’m facing a problem or challenge, I get really clear on what is going on by asking myself two questions:

  1. What is the actual problem?
  2. What is a real solution to the actual problem?

I’ll give you an example.

Earlier this week I was feeling particularly stressed out over work that needed to be done, ASCEND preparations, projects that were on hold with multiple people until they got feedback from me…you name it.

I could feel the tension & sense of overwhelm rising.

I took a 5 minute break to sit down and literally write on paper:

What is the actual problem?

I have a lot of things that need to be done in a short period of time. I’m struggling to focus, prioritize & execute. My stress over it is clouding my objectivity.

What is a real solution to an actual problem?

Make a list. Highlight the things on the list that someone else can do. Delegate. Remove them from the list. What doesn’t have to be done at all, or doesn’t have to be done before the event? Remove them from the list. What are you able & willing to tackle today? Begin the first one immediately.

That whole process took fewer than 5 minutes but made me feel infinitely better.

There’s a 3rd strategy I use in response to stress, also in the form of a question:

What will make me feel more in control?

This one is probably the most powerful. In fact, around 5:37am today, already feeling overwhelmed, I asked this question and here were my responses:

  • Get to the gym
  • Eat super clean today
  • Pack for the hotel
  • Clean apartment

When I was at my heaviest, I didn’t ask those questions. I wasn’t responsive to the situations in my life, I was reactive.

I didn’t look to solve problems, I looked to escape them. In escaping them, because I wasn’t paying attention, I was only making them worse.

Of course, this takes practice and I’m still practicing but today’s a really great day to start!

Let’s talk about how much I didn’t want to do today’s workout! ASCEND kicks off tomorrow night and I have a hundred million things (more like 31) to do. I feel like I need every spare minute.

However, I’ll be away from the gym during the event AND I know working out gives me more focus, energy, confidence & momentum. Going to the gym, even for a tough workout, was absolutely worth it!

Deadlift
5 sets of 3 (increasing weight)

“Dead Sprint”
Teams of 2
AMRAP 18:
7 Deadlifts
100 Meter Run
7/5 Calorie Bike

I actually didn’t have a partner for this workout so basically, I’d do 1 round (which took about 1 minute), then rest for 60 seconds and go again. I was smoked by the end of it, especially after the heavy deadlifts at the start!

On the food front:

After my workout I made another breakfast coffee concoction. Today’s included:

  • Artisana coconut butter (I get mine from Thrive Market – it’s cheapest there)
  • 1 egg (raw!)
  • MCT oil

I shared it with my boyfriend – we both enjoyed it!

After running some errands for me, the boyfriend came back with thick cut bacon. He said he knows I don’t really like flowers (true) so he thought bacon was a better choice. Smart man.

I had 3 slices of bacon and some of the leftover cheese from our Sunday night charcuterie board. Random side note – he is soaking the remaining bacon in vodka. The vodka will be used in some amazing blood mary’s this weekend! I shared some pics on my Instagram stories – are you following me over there?

I have an appointment tonight so I’m writing this post before dinner. I don’t know what dinner will entail but I’m thinking a quick trip out and maybe something like steak or scallops. Both of those sound yummy!

Make it a great day! Happy November!

Thoughts On Clothes Shopping

Clothes shopping. It can be risky business.

You might leave happy & feeling great about yourself. Or, you might leave feeling like the fattest slob to ever walk the earth.

It doesn’t depend on how well clothes fit you or the lighting in the dressing rooms.

It depends 100% on your perspective & mindset.

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I used to hate shopping. No matter what my size was, I hated it. I hated the way I looked in fitting room lights. I hated seeing something that didn’t look good on me. I hated carrying something into a dressing room only to realize it doesn’t fit.

I could walk into a store feeling great about myself & my life and leave the store feeling like a smoking pile of poo.

Seriously! I could walk in feeling great about my body & my progress and leave 15 minutes later feeling terrible about my body & my progress.

My body didn’t change.

My perspective did.

Even though I’ve lost over 100 lbs, I can still walk into a fitting room feeling great and leave feeling awful. I’ll tell you though – if you had asked me when I was 350 lbs how shopping would be if I was under 200 lbs, I’d have said it would be magical. I’d have told you there would never be a problem. Never a complaint.

I would have been wrong. 

It takes work to end the miserable self talk that often accompanies clothes shopping. But if you don’t do it, you’re always going to be at the mercy of clothes that run small & terrible lighting.

There is another way. I’m sure there are lots of ways, actually, including staying miserable and being that 60 year old who still comes home from shopping feeling bad about her body but I digress…

Here’s what has been a great practice for me:

I do not allow the rabbit holes of thought when I’m trying on clothes. I jus’t refuse to go there.

It fits or it doesn’t. I love it or I don’t.

That’s all.

If I start to notice “oh my gosh my arms look fat…” I turn it off.

Would I ever say “oh my gosh your arms look fat!” to my sister? Of course not.

So, I redirect. It fits or it doesn’t. I love it or I don’t.

I’m on my own side. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

And: shopping is a freakin’ blessing. Not everyone has the means or the access to shop for new things.

But you do.

Refuse to be a victim of your circumstances.

 

Refuse to be complicit in your own misery!

Today’s workout was a legit full body workout. It felt great, as did my chiropractic adjustment afterwards! Yay for prioritizing my body!

“Criss Cross”
AMRAP 15:
60 Single Unders
15 Power Cleans
60 Single Unders
15 GHD Sit-ups

I’m really focusing on my workouts early this week because I won’t get to the gym during ASCEND Friday & Saturday!

On the food front:

After my workout I went out for a late lunch (first meal of the day) at Smashburger. I had a jalapeno burger without the bun and a salad. Both were totally delicious & it helps that I was really hungry.

Around 7pm I had a can of salmon (from Thrive Market) mixed with some Primal Kitchen Chipotle Lime Mayo (also from Thrive Market – bar far the least expensive place to get this and I go through it fast!)

Happy Halloween everyone!

409: Pleasure Vs. Happiness

405: 3 Strategies For Massive Change

“If you don’t believe in affirmations, go into your child’s bathroom and write ‘I am a loser’ on their mirror.”

I posted this quote on Instagram the other day (with the disclaimer “please don’t actually do this, whether you believe in affirmations or not”).

The email responses that came from that post told me loud & clear: we need to talk about the way we talk to & about ourselves.

That’s what today’s episode is all about – how and why we need to change the way we talk to & about ourselves.

Lots of people know their negativity isn’t helping, but they feel like they can’t stop it.

Today I introduce 3 powerful strategies to help you make the single change that could make the most difference in your progress & overall happiness:

  • The neutral redirect
  • The empowering redirect
  • The positive redirect

Don’t miss it!

Listen Now

Download Episode

Resources

In today’s episode I mentioned that I created a list of my favorite products from Thrive Market. You can download it here.

In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.

How To Leave A Rating & Review (thank you!!!)

Let The Dead Things Go

Most of us aren’t very happy. At best, we worry too much and revisit past pains too regularly. We make life harder because we’re carrying with us things that we can absolutely let go of.

Learning to let go will not only make you happier, it will free up tons of energy you can use to go after goals & changes that really matter to you.

If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click here

We know that the negativity, worry, assumptions and fixation on problems don’t make us happy, but we don’t know how to stop focusing on them.

I love this quote I shared earlier on Facebook.

What kinds of things are you carrying that you can set down?

Something someone did or said in the past that hurt you?

Past mistakes or missed opportunities that you’re still beating yourself up over?

Future worries that you can’t influence today?

Other people’s problems?

When you are feeling down, emotional, frustrated, worried, disappointed or anxious, ask yourself if you need to be carrying what is weighing you down.

Chances are, you’ve got a great opportunity right in front of you to set it down & travel light.

There was no workout today – I got in a long, hard one Saturday morning & took Sunday & Monday off. I had planned to get to the gym today but I got a late start and my day had other plans for me. 🙂

On the food front:

I left the Cape around 11am this morning & didn’t eat until I got home. I whipped up a couple eggs with 2 slices of bacon and that held me over until my early dinner around 5:30pm.

I had spaghetti squash with grilled chicken & cheese. Super simple, super tasty!

Give some serious thought to the thoughts, assumptions and patterns you need to let go of. Choose something new!

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