Sarah and I love Saturday shows! We spend the entire episode answering your question! If you have questions or topics for the Saturday show, you can submit them here.
Here are the questions we’re tackling on today’s show. Be sure to listen in case you are winner of our weekly giveaway!
What is the best probiotic?
What supplements do you take, Elizabeth?
If you start taking probiotics, how long until you notice a difference?
I saw that you have two side hustles. What are they are how do you make the time?
Why in the world did you say “yes” to network marketing?
You always say that you aren’t a sales person – how will you make it work for you?
How do you get over your fear of people rolling their eyes or saying no?
I’ve heard you talk about building a team. What does that mean? What does it look like to be on your team?
You’re stuck on a problem you can’t seem to solve. You bang your head against the wall, coming up with solution after solution and trying desperately to figure out what’s holding you back.
But what’s keeping you stuck almost certainly isn’t the problem itself—it’s your approach to solving it. Instead of focusing on the solution, you’re defending your behavior or making a case for the validity of your problem. Your top priority is being right, not getting it right.
No judgment here. I’ve done this. In fact, we all have.
The right questions can set you free from this trap, by making clear the steps between you and your solution, clearing out any emotional filters at play, and illuminating incorrect assumptions holding you back.
If your questions don’t lead you to improved action, you aren’t asking the right questions.
To help you with this, I’ll share a story from my life that demonstrates the power of better questions, then offer a couple powerful strategies for finding the right answers.
How the Right Questions Helped My Sister
A couple years ago, while I was preparing for ASCEND, a Primal Potential weekend workshop, I invited my mom and sister out to dinner. I wanted to try out an activity in advance of the event and they were about to be my guinea pigs.
I explained that I wanted to do a workshop at ASCEND where participants could only communicate via questions. No statements or explanations, just questions.
At dinner, I asked my mom and sister if one of them would be willing to share a problem, in the form of a question, to kick off our little dinnertime experiment.
Debi, my sister, asked, “How do I balance getting out of debt and enjoying my life?”
To be honest, her question floored me. Years earlier, we’d agreed to stop talking to each other about money. Given our different approaches to finances (I’m a saver, she’s a spender), those conversations never ended well, so we’d cut them off.
After a few initial questions, we cut right to the heart it: her spending habits.
“Can you spend less money?” I asked.
Debi paused for a moment, then replied, “What if I don’t want to spend less money?”
I admired her honesty and used my next round of questions to further explore that.
“Are you really enjoying your life with the financial stress you have right now? Is this the way you want things to be? It seems like you don’t want to spend less because you associate spending more with enjoying your life more? But are you enjoying life right now? Is it possible that spending less would actually allow you to enjoy life more?”
She sat quietly. She was considering, open-mindedly this time, that maybe spending less would allow her to actually enjoy life more, not the other way around. There was something more true than the story she had been clinging to about her spending.
Since that conversation, Debi’s finances have transformed. The discipline she now brings to her financial choices has allowed her to enjoy life more, not less, because she’s gradually eliminating one of her biggest stressors: money problems.
Pause Often to Ask Yourself Questions
That short exercise with Debi was a starting point—it represented a shift in the way she was willing to think about money and her ability to create change.
The questions themselves didn’t create results for Debi and they won’t for you, either. But they did open a door that Debi then had the discipline to walk through.
To fully unlock the power of great questions, you need to get into the habit of asking them regularly. You can probably think of moments from this past week when you would have benefitted from slowing down and asking yourself the right questions.
Maybe you got worked up after a tense staff meeting, or said some things you regret after a breakup. Perhaps you gave into temptation and splurged on junk food.
Next time you confront these moments, what if you took three minutes to ask yourself questions, or called someone who was willing to ask questions of you?
You might be saying: “What should I ask myself, or have someone else ask me?”
That’s a good question! Here are a few thought-provoking ones to start with:
What’s a choice I can make right now that would leave me feeling great tomorrow?
Have I already made up my mind on this issue? If so, what led me to that point?
What actually happened? How do I feel about what happened? What’s the difference?
What to Do When You Don’t Know the Answer
You’ll get better at coming up with the right questions the more you practice asking them, but what do you do when you don’t know the answer to your question?
In my experience, we often dismiss questions by saying “I don’t know” or “I’m confused” to avoid taking ownership of our role in a solution and delay doing work.
To be honest, those responses are cop-outs.
You don’t have to know the answer, but you are capable of finding it.
“I don’t know” might mean “I need to take some action or do some work to get clearer on an answer or solution.” If that’s the case, ask yourself, “How can I find the answer?” or “What might be the answer? What are some options?”
Knowledge is not a prerequisite for action. Knowledge is an end result of action.
If you aren’t sure of an answer, take action. Do something. You’ll learn from what you try. Stop holding yourself back from action because you’re waiting for answers. Create the answers. They are waiting for you on the other side of intelligent action.
Don’t wait to think up a solution. Create it. Travel to it. Your solutions are in your progress and attention. You’ll always learn more from action than from thought.
‘Tis the season, friend! I don’t know about you, but I’ve already created my holiday shopping list! Part of how I minimize stress, eliminate overwhelm and stay within my budget is by making a holiday shopping list and setting a budget for each person on the list. By having that list ahead of time, I can pay attention to when items are on sale or when companies are offering free shipping!
My favorite gifts to give are books! I love to read and get excited to share some of my favorite books with my family and friends. Here are a few books at the top of my gift giving list.
Any time I can give a gift that brightens someone’s day on an on-going basis, I’m all about that! Hand-painted signs from Seasouled are perfect for this! I bought one for myself that says “Travel Light” and hangs above my kitchen sink. (It used to hang over my front door but I prefer looking at it while I wash dishes and prepare dinner). I also bought one for my family beach house that says “Positive Vibes Only“.
These are gifts that keep on giving!
I’m also a total fan of practical gifts – things I know people can and will use regularly and get lots of value from. That’s exactly why both my mom and my sister will be getting workout clothes from Fabletics! My mom recently started working out at a CrossFit gym and I know she’s been eager to stock up on leggings and sports bras – Fabletics is the way to go! In the past, I’ve been a big fan of Lululemon, Nike & Reebok but Fabletics has the same amazing style and quality for waaaaaaay less money! I took advantage of the 2 for $24 promotion through Fabletics and saved big on leggings and bras! (I picked up a bunch of stuff for myself, too!)
I also gift people with things I love. Here are some random things that will absolutely make my giving list this year:
In episode 521 of the podcast, I shared my personal story of becoming debt free. I go into detail about how I started, the process I followed and how I handled struggles like my then-husband not being totally on-board with the idea. I also had my sister on the show – she is currently paying down her debt and overcoming the hurdles of massive student loans and a modest salary. In today’s episode I’m answering all your questions about money and debt including:
How to start when you’ve been ignoring your financial situation
How to become debt free when you’re barely making ends meet
How to stick to a budget
How to budget for personal indulgences (new clothes, spa treatments, etc)
How to handle a spouse who is a spender when you’re a saver
How to prioritize weight loss while getting out of debt
How to eat healthy on a budget
How to save and invest at the same time
Please note that I am not a financial advisor. I am sharing my experience and personal opinions and I do not purport to be a financial expert. I am not. For your own financial advice, please contact a financial expert.
In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.