680: Getting Motivated, Staying Motivated, Building Motivation

Nov 11, 2019

One of the most critical skills for growth and success is getting motivated, staying motivated and building motivation. It’s often too easy to say you want something, but to then follow through and do what you need to… day-in and day-out, that’s hard. To achieve this you need to be motivated.

Yet getting motivated is only the start. Staying motivated is a continuous process and I see many people look for motivation in the wrong places. In today’s episode, I talk about where you shouldn’t seek motivation and where you should go instead to find it.

I’ve written an article about getting motivated that accompanies this episode below. Whether you choose to read, listen or both, make today the day you not only get motivated but stay motivated indefinitely,


  1. The significant role today (11/11) plays in my life, and how it’s closely linked to the importance of getting motivated and staying motivated.
  2. How getting motivated is only the first step, and that what happens next is what determines your success and growth.
  3. The role pleasure and pain play in motivation, and how a small tweak to your perspective can change how you approach everything in life.
  4. How our negative association with discipline is more impactful than you may imagine.
  5. That the stories we tell ourselves can set us up to succeed or place us down a path of failure (before we even begin).
  6. The number one reason why people get stuck (both in getting motivated and staying motivated)…
  7. AND the simple question you can ask yourself that will bring you back into perfect alignment with your goals.
  8. A few of my favorite quotes about motivation, and how you can use these to get, build and stay motivated indefinitely.


It doesn’t matter what you want to achieve in life, you always NEED this one thing if you want to succeed…


Everything you do requires motivation. If you want to succeed with your job or business, you need to be motivated. If you would like to lose weight or get healthy, you need to be motivated. If you want to start a new habit, you NEED to be motivated.

Without motivation, everything is a struggle.

Yet once you’re truly motivated… most things feel kind of easy.

The problem is, this is one of the biggest struggles most people have. You know what it feels like to be motivated, and you know that you need to be. But how do you get motivated, and more importantly… how do you stay motivated?

This has to be the number one thing clients and listeners ask me. 

  • The struggle of getting motivated.
  • The struggle of staying motivated.
  • or often, a mix of the two…

Oftentimes it may feel just out of reach. If only you could get motivated everything would come together…

Well, it’s easier than you may imagine.
It’s just that most people look in the wrong place for it…

The Role of Pleasure and Pain in Getting Motivated

As humans, we’re hard-wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

If you want to get motivated (and stay that way), you need to find pleasure in what you’re doing. It also helps to associate pain in not doing it. Which is fine if you’re doing something you love.

But this is the problem, right?

Sometimes you feel like you have to do things that you don’t want to do.

This used to frustrate me. I would hear this take on pleasure and pain and say something along the lines of, “But I find pleasure in eating cupcakes. And I find working out hard and painful.

So if pain and pleasure impact your motivation, I was destinated to say unhealthy because I was motivated to eat cupcakes and not workout. Right?

Well, no! The pleasure and pain have nothing to do with the “thing”, but rather the story we tell ourselves about it. For a long time, I associated going to the gym as being hard. I would be disciplined and make myself go, but I hated it. So I always associated discipline with pain.

I told myself a story that to be disciplined was hard and painful. I wanted to avoid the pain, and so I’d seek pleasure elsewhere (inside a cupcake, for instance).

But all these are, are stories.
Stories that WE tell ourselves.

This is good news because it means you can create a new story whenever you like.

Discipline = Freedom!

The stories we tell ourselves run the show. If you associate discipline with pain, you’ll resit it. Yet if you change your perspective so you suddenly associate discipline with freedom, you won’t.

  • Eating a cupcake was pleasurable in the moment, but caused great pain the rest of the time.
  • Whereas working out was painful in the moment, but brought me great pleasure afterward.

I began to tell myself a new story… if I take care of mind and body I’ll experience great freedom (pleasure). Whereas if I eat cupcakes today, I’ll remain in this body that I hate (pain).

Same situation.

New narrative!

You always get to choose your perspective. Yet this is why so many people struggle with getting motivated in the first place because they look outside of themselves. They assume they’ll get motivated by reading a book, listening to a podcast or watching an inspirational video.

These things can help, sure.
But they are never the source.

True motivation is something YOU create.
It happens inside you; in the stories you tell.

Yet how often do you focus on the past and what went wrong last time? Or maybe you focus on the short term pain and forget about the pleasure you’ll get aftward…

None of this is motivating, so you turn to a podcast or read a book, and you feel motivated for a while.

But it doesn’t last because inside you’re telling yourself the same stories.

Are You Clear on What You Want?

It’s a vicious cycle. Inside you’re telling yourself stories that set you up for failure, so you look for motivation outside yourself, via books, podcasts and videos. You feel motivated for a little while, make a little progress but then go back to old habits.

This further fuels those internal stories, and you keep focussing on the past and how you always fail.

You repeat the same pattern. Nothing seems to change!

Getting motivated is hard. But staying motivated feels impossible.
And it stays this way until you get CLEAR on what you want.

I see this often with people inside the 12 Weeks to Transformation.

I ask them what they want. They tell me. That part is easy.
But when I ask them to make a case for it and tell me why they want it, they struggle.

Take me and my past struggle with weight loss…

I knew what I wanted. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be healthier. I wanted to feel good in my own body. But why did I want this? If I did make the changes I desired, what impact would it have on me, my family and my life overall?

Wow. This forced me to think differently. To ask myself what I really wanted, and more importantly… WHY I wanted it. I got clear on what life would look like if I lost weight and got healthy.

I could picture it. I wanted it. I needed it.

I found the motivation inside me. It was there all along, waiting for me.
Motivation like this is much more powerful than any you’ll find in a book.

Two Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Right Now!

I talk about these two questions in the latest episode of the Primal Potential podcast, so to get the full insight into these I encourage you to listen to it in full.

These two questions force you to question your current outlook. They help you figure out why you want what you want, so you don’t have to look for motivation elsewhere.

The first is:

What would it look like if you were highly motivated today?

If you were highly motivated right now, what would you do? Would you eat that cupcake? Would you scroll through Facebook? Would you watch TV instead of going to the gym?

If you were highly motivated today, how would you spend your day? Would you be on your phone or focus solely on your work. Picture yourself as this person. Think about who she is and what she’s doing.

After you have, ask yourself this next question:

Why do I want this? WHY is it important?

Why would you put down the cupcake? Why would you go to the gym instead of watching TV?

What’s the purpose? What’s the positive outcome that you’ll get to experience afterward?
Why are you doing it? Why does it matter to you so much? Make a case for it!

Asking yourself these two questions is powerful. They not only help you get clear on what you want, but they help you appreciate why you want it. This is how you change that narrative and turn your outlook from negative to positive.

Do you tell the story of why you don’t want to or make a case for why you do?

This is one of the main reasons I journal each day. I think about these questions. Each day, I want to make sure that I’m clear on what I’m doing and why. It helps me stay motivated and focussed.

It doesn’t just happen.
People aren’t born highly motivated.

It’s a conscious act. One you have to repeat.

I share some more stories within the latest episode, so please listen to it in full to get a full insight into getting motivated, staying motivated and the impact all this has had on my life.

I also share some of my favorite quotes from Brendon Burchard that have helped me over the years.

And if you want help with this and join a group of women ready to get and stay motivated, I encourage you to join the Free 7 Day Challenge I’m running. Over these seven days, I’ll send you journal prompts, questions and other exercises that will help you in getting motivated and staying that way.

There are two ways you can get involved

  1. Via the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List
  2. Join the free Primal Potential Facebook Group

Getting motivated doesn’t have to be hard, and it becomes easier when you don’t go it on your own.

Thanks for reading today. Please listen to the podcast that accompanies this article in full, as I share several stories from my own life, as well as those from listeners and members of the 12 Weeks to Transformation. Getting motivated is so important, and once you start looking in the right place… it gets much easier.

Thanks for reading today. Please listen to the podcast that accompanies this article in full, as I share several stories from my own life, as well as those from listeners and members of the 12 Weeks to Transformation. Getting motivated is so important, and once you start looking in the right place… it gets much easier.

I also share some of my favorite quotes in the episode, so that’s another reason to listen as some of these could be perfect affirmations for you 🙂

And remember to join me on the Free 7 Day Challenge that’s coming up.

There are two ways to get involved.

  1. via the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List
  2. join the free Primal Potential Facebook Group

Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions about this, please add them in the comments below. And to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media, follow the links below.


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