687: The Key to Unlocking What You Really Need

Nov 28, 2019

One of the most effective ways to unlocking your mind is to think about what you need. Which sounds simple, yet is the one thing most people struggle with in the moment. Oftentimes we rush through the day and move from one task to the next.

You react, rather than taking time to question why you feel the way you do and what you actually need. In today’s episode, we look at how unlocking your mind is made easier once you ask these questions. I share some of my own personal “blocks” as well as those inside the Primal Potential Masters Club.

I’ve written an article that accompanies this episode, so whether you read, listen or both… I hope this inspires you to take a step back and not run with that first thought or feeling. There’s more to it that sits just beyond, and it’s often where real growth resides.


  1. About the message I saw on Instagram that inspired this episode, and how I was blown away by the responses I received when I shared it with the Primal Potential Masters Club.
  2. How I learned an important lesson about decision making from a family member when we first moved into our home.
  3. The importance of asking yourself what is the reason behind what you say or feel, and how it’s vital you consider what you NEED in that moment.
  4. 4 things I often feel and say that I now realize holds me back, and is rooted in much more than I ever thought was true.
  5. What some of those from the Primal Potential Masters Club had to say about all this, and how they too notice certain blocks when reacting to a situation.
  6. What I’m personally doing to take action on this, and how I’m involving two people who are very close to me.
  7. How you can join the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List, and what we have in store for you in the lead up to 2020.


I remember when we first moved into our house, a family member came to visit…

We stood in the kitchen as I told him about my plans.
I was excited and couldn’t wait to turn my dream into a reality.

This family member, he smiled and said, “that’s a really good idea. But never go with your first good idea.”

He’s an artistic type, so he knows a lot about creativity and coming up with ideas. This conversation has always stuck with me, and his advice continues to have an impact on me to this day.

He didn’t say it was a bad idea. He liked my idea. Yet he also recognized that your best idea is rarely the first one. It’s often unexamined and incomplete. And if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find much more lies beneath the surface.

I thought of this when I saw an Instagram post recently…

What is the NEED Behind Your Thoughts and Feelings?

This Instagram post caught my eye. It had two columns:

  1. What we say
  2. What we mean

It listed a bunch of examples of things we may say, and the real reason behind these.


I related to some of the examples and didn’t agree with others. That wasn’t the point. It made me think about my own words, feelings and reactions. What I do and how I act in certain situations, and if maybe there’s something bigger going on behind the scenes.

It sparked something inside me, so I felt compelled to share it with those inside the Primal Potential Masters Club. If you’re unsure what this Masters Club is, it’s made up of amazing people who have gone through the 12 Weeks To Transformation at least three times.

I’ve gotten to know those inside this club well.
There’s trust between everyone involved.
Everyone is on the same page and grown a great deal.

So when I share ideas or ask questions within this group, I know the responses will make me think.
Yet on this occasion, they stuck with me in a way I wasn’t expecting.

I decided to journal about it later in the day, giving myself time to reflect.

On the back of this, I felt a need to record this episode and write this article.
It wasn’t one I planned to do. It wasn’t in my content calendar. Yet I needed to!

This is the question I asked those inside the Primal Potential Masters Club.

Many people responded straight away with real and raw answers that made me feel and think.
I share some of these in the podcast episode, so I encourage you to listen to it in full to hear these.

They’re amazing, so trust me… listen to this!

These responses made me think about my own.

  • What is the NEED behind my words, thoughts or feelings?
  • What is the NEED that I’m represented by right now?
  • What is the need behind some of my most common feelings?
  • What is the need behind some of the feelings I wish I didn’t have as often?

Oftentimes we rush through the day and are just going-going-going.

We don’t stop and question what we’re saying; wondering whether there may be more to it than what’s on the surface. We just react and follow old patterns. And maybe this fuels greater frustration, fear or guilt… so we turn to false solutions like food or alcohol — or fuel further false feelings like anger or blame.

But where’s it all coming from?
What is the reason behind what we say, do, feel and think?

I realized there are 4 things I often do, which I don’t want to.

I’d like to share these with you now…

1: Feeling Pissed Off and/or Having My Feathers Ruffled!

This is often my first feeling when I get an email I don’t like the look of or have a conversation that doesn’t go the way I intended. I feel annoyed that the other person doesn’t understand me.

I feel like they haven’t listened to me!

But what’s beyond this?
Well, I feel misunderstood.

I want to be understood and I want to feel like what I said came clearly across. But it goes deeper than this because I now realize that I often expect other people to match my own expectations.

Even if I haven’t communicated these expectations with them.

As if they should just know…
Like they should be in my head…

Well, there’s a quote I like: “Don’t expect YOU from other people”

I need to remember this when I feel pissed off. It’s my first thought, but I need to go beyond this and think about where it’s coming from, why it’s there and what I NEED in that moment.

2: I’m So Stressed!

Another thing I’ll say is, “I’m so stressed right now.”

I’ll feel it.
I’ll feel the panic and anxiety.

But where does it come from? What’s happening below the surface?

It’s often a sign that I need to slow down, prioritize my focus and think about what I can control.

I feel out of control, but I always get to control my outcome.
It’s my choice. I get to choose what to do next.

It’s not that I’m stressed, but rather need to slow down a little and get clear on what I need to do next.

3: I’m Exhausted!

Here’s another one I feel often, but I rarely say it at the end of an evening when I’m ready to go to bed. Instead, I’ll say it and feel it when I’m caught up in all the chaos of work and life.

It’s another sign that I’m doing too much. I need to slow down. I need to be present and focus on what I need to do now and what I need to do next. It isn’t that I’m exhausted, I’m just overwhelmed right now.

I can choose to step away from that.

4: I’m Frustrated

Similar to the first one, I feel misunderstood. I feel like I have so much to do. I feel like I’m rushing.

Again, it’s a sign to slow down.
But more so… to return to gratitude.

I’m frustrated because I’m focused on what I don’t have. But what about that which I do?

How To Step Back and Move Beyond Your First Thought…

Don’t go with your first thought, feeling or idea.

It’s unexamined and incomplete. It’s time to go deeper and start unlocking the truth. You can work on this right now by coming up with a list of your own common responses and feelings to certain situations.

By listening to the episode that accompanies this article in full, you’ll hear some of those inside the Primal Potential Members Club share their own. I hope you’ll listen because some of their responses are truly inspirational and will help you in unlocking your own mind.

Think about what you say.
And then… go beyond this.
Think about where it comes from.

Think about what you NEED in that moment?

From there, step back and ask yourself: is this who and how I want to be?
If it isn’t, commit to changing the narrative. Feel the first thought, but don’t stop there.

Thanks for reading today. Please listen to the podcast episode in full to hear more stories of my own and those from the Primal Potential Masters Club about unlocking your mind and going deeper.

If you would like to one day join this club and surround yourself with amazing people who push you to go beyond who you are right now, join the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List.

It’s now open, and those on the Wait List get information first about what to expect in 2020.

Join the Wait List Here ⇒ 

Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions please add them in the comments below. And to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media, follow the links below.



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