784: The Fear Behind Your Excuses with Megan Everett

Jul 9, 2020

Hi, friends! It’s Elizabeth here, and I am so excited to share Episode 784 of Primal Potential with you today! Primal Potential is a podcast all about you — your ability to change is not defined by yesterday and doesn’t need to wait until tomorrow. Your transformation is now, no matter what stage you find yourself in life!

Have you kept yourself from accomplishing what you want because you told yourself that you couldn’t do it? Have you internally resigned yourself to “I can’t follow my dreams” or “I can’t go on that hike even though I want to”? My guest today, Megan Everett, knows all about falling into the trap of limiting beliefs. She struggled with letting her fears keep her from doing what she wanted to accomplish until she shifted her mindset from those fears and took “can’t” out of her vocabulary. 

Today, I am incredibly excited to share my conversation with Megan. Her journey very much parallels my own, and I am sure that it will help you push yourself past your excuses to accomplish your goals. Her story and advice will inspire you to bring awareness to your fears so that you can overcome them and transform your life!


Who Is Megan Everett?


Megan is the founder and CEO of the tech company Perfrm. Megan’s bravery and boldness drove her to become a significant contender in the male-dominated Software-as-a-Service industry.  

Before starting her own business, she struggled with unhappiness and obesity while working for a software company in San Francisco. After undergoing a painful breakup, she changed her life by starting her own company and losing 80 pounds in a single year. 

“I went from … [a] miserable employee and very unhealthy to a single woman, running a tech company that’s now funded, and on my health journey still. And it’s taken a lot of different things, and mostly it’s all been a mindset change.” – Megan Everett 

Megan completely changed her life by shifting her mindset. She started being honest with herself about the fears holding her back and worked through those fears. She didn’t let her insecurities stop her from accomplishing what she wanted. She evaluated her goals through the question, “If I thought I could, would I?” Then she developed the mindset of facing her fears and accomplishing her goals. 


Taking “Can’t” out of Your Vocabulary


A foundational part of Megan’s journey was removing the word “can’t” from her vocabulary. 

“I actually donate a thousand dollars to a nonprofit if I say it, so that’s how strongly I needed to stop saying it … For me, everything was, “I can’t,” and I would stop there … it always was fear-based. ‘I can’t go to that workout class … I can’t go on a hike … with my sister’.” – Megan Everett

Megan let the word “can’t” stop her from doing what she wanted to do. Behind this “can’t” was fear of judgment and failure:

“I’m scared that this person will think this of me. I’m scared that I won’t be able to finish it … I find [that] with every time somebody says, ‘I can’t’… there’s a massive fear underlining there.” – Megan Everett

Megan is entirely right, friends! That unhelpful word that we say to ourselves is a hindrance resulting from our fears. How often have you found yourself not starting something because you told yourself that you “can’t do it.” We need to overcome these limiting beliefs and realize that we can do what we want to accomplish! You can reach your goals! 

Megan changed her life by replacing “can’t” with “can.” She eventually overcame the fears that prevented her from acting in her life. 

“… I started first just replacing “I can’t” with “I can,” … but didn’t actually take any action or fix it because my thought pattern was still, “I can’t”… And when I realized that everything that I thought I couldn’t do came because I was scared, and there was this fear of, ‘I’m scared of what people will think.’ … So vocalizing the scared part and then actually taking action have been how I’ve really changed this mindset.” – Megan Everett

Rather than letting her fears stop her, Megan developed the pattern of vocalizing her fears and insecurities to her friends and overcame them. She started proving herself wrong by taking action and accomplishing what she thought she couldn’t do. 

It’s like having an imaginary monster under your bed. When you look under the bed enough times, you realize that the monster doesn’t exist. It’s the same for our fears and insecurities, friends! When you take action despite your fears, you can develop confidence in what you’re doing because you realize that your insecurities weren’t rational. If you avoid going to the gym for fear of judgment, you’ll never reach your fitness goals, but if you force yourself to go enough times, then you’ll realize that your insecurities were unfounded, and you overcome the fear of judgment that was hindering you. 


Determine What You Want to Do


Megan observed the importance of figuring out what you want to do despite whether or not you think you can do it. Megan uses the simple question, “If I thought I could, would I?”. This question determines our direction in overcoming our insecurities and distinguishes what you want to overcome from what you don’t. 

“We all do things we don’t want to … but with your free time and your recreational time, don’t do things you don’t like … and don’t force yourself into them. … Especially if we’re coming from a place of the insecurity being body-based, which there is so much for women … It’s really, really important to know what you want and what you actually want to try … because I don’t think it’s worth being in a room that you don’t want to be in just to overcome an insecurity because it’s actually going to have an adverse effect on you.” – Megan Everett

Don’t force yourself to do things that you don’t want to do, friends! Don’t push yourself to climb a mountain if you only want to prove that you can do it. For example, if you have no desire to skydive, don’t do it to prove to yourself that you can get over your fear of heights. Push yourself to do the things that you want to do and the things that will improve your life!


Becoming a Healthier Version of Yourself While Also Loving Yourself


There’s a common myth in our society that if you’re working on yourself physically, you’re not engaging in self-love and body positivity. This is entirely false, friends! You work on yourself because you love yourself and your body.

Often when Megan posts about weight-loss or fitness on her Instagram, she’ll receive messages from people berating her because they think that her working on herself implies that she doesn’t love her own body. 

“It’s always, ‘Your telling women they shouldn’t love themselves the way they are’ … but you can do both … And we think that if there’s someone who’s overweight in a gym or working on themselves, that they disliked themselves.” – Megan Everett

People often think that losing weight is somehow connected to a person feeling negatively about themselves, but this is a huge misconception. We need to love ourselves and our bodies regardless of our weight, and this love needs to be the driving force behind our desire to become healthier. Megan described how becoming a healthier version of herself had everything to do with loving herself and her body.

“… what if we did this because we do love ourselves. … And I want to like have this body for years and years. And when I have children, I want to be able to play with that. And I want to go on these hikes with my sister. And I just want to be a healthier version of myself, but I do it because I love myself. Not because I hate something about myself.” – Megan Everett

Megan has such a great perspective on this, friends! We become healthier because we love ourselves. If we engage in self-loathing, we’ll always find something to hate about ourselves — regardless of our weight, appearance, or bank account. Hating yourself will never lead you on a sustainable path to change. Loving yourself needs to be the primary motivator for the changes that you make. 


Bringing Awareness and Acknowledging Your Fears 


We finished our exceptional conversation by discussing how listeners can overcome falling back on the word “can’t” and the underlying fear that comes with it. The first step to moving past your fears is bringing awareness — whether it be through utilizing a support system or through journaling. 

If you have people supporting you, have them help you get past your insecurities and fears. Tell them about when you say that you “can’t” do something so that they hold you accountable. If you want to start doing hot yoga but feel that you can’t do it, have a friend go with you. That way, you’re training yourself to overcome your fears and insecurities by forcing yourself to do what you thought you couldn’t do. 

She also described how to overcome fear through journaling. She instructed listeners to set a five-minute timer and record all the reasons why they feel that they can’t do something. After they’ve finished writing their reasons, they need to ask themselves, “If I thought I could, would I?” 

“This question is so powerful because then you know if you want to, and then from there, you can say, ‘I want to do this. This is what I’m afraid of. How do I get over this fear?’ And it may be going to a yoga class alone. It may be going to Toastmasters … It’s these things like you have to start doing what you’re afraid of, but you can’t do that until you acknowledge that you’re afraid of it.” – Megan Everett 

Friends, the first step in overcoming your fears, insecurities, and the hindering word “can’t” is bringing awareness to what’s holding you back. Face your fears head-on so that you realize that you are fully capable of accomplishing what you want! 

You can connect with Megan Everett via social media through her Instagram (@megseverett). She answers every direct message personally! 

I also encourage you to get on the waitlist for our next 12 Weeks of Transformation! If you need additional guidance in overcoming your fears and taking action, this course is for you! The program consists of a more personal and structured approach to beat daily obstacles and realize your full potential! If you think this may be right for you, don’t hesitate to check out the 12 Weeks of Transformation.

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During these trying times, I also recommend that you sign up for our daily mindset upgrades. I send out daily texts of encouragement to help you overcome what’s holding you back from growing!

If you want to connect on social media, follow me on Instagram (@Elizabethbenton) and Facebook (@Primalpotentialpodcast)!

Friends, I hope this episode inspires you to ask yourself what fears and insecurities are holding you back from what you want. You are entirely capable of overcoming what’s hindering you, so ask yourself what you want and go for it!


Elizabeth Benton

The Primal Potential Podcast

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