683: Are You In “The Gap”?

Nov 18, 2019

Hi, friends! It’s Elizabeth here, and I am so excited to share Episode 683 of Primal Potential with you today! Primal Potential is a podcast all about you — your ability to change is not defined by yesterday and doesn’t need to wait until tomorrow. Your transformation is now, no matter what stage you find yourself in life!

I just got back home from an absolutely fantastic weekend in Portland, Oregon hosting my annual weekend workshop, Ascend. This workshop is an incredible weekend of inspiration and opportunity for women like you who are ready to take charge and reach their full potential, and this year was such a success! I met with so many ambitious women who have really wonderful goals for themselves. I know we all left feeling more empowered than ever to succeed in our businesses, relationships, and personal lives.

I have so many massive takeaways from the event this year that I could talk to you about, but there’s one, in particular, I want to share today. At the very beginning of Ascend, I shared with the women who attended that I felt a huge sense of responsibility. Of course, I felt a responsibility to add a lot of value and exceed people’s expectations. But I also felt this huge and specific responsibility to ensure that nobody would come in, learn a lot, massively raise the bar on their potential, and then go home and not make any changes. 

So I want to talk to you about that space between learning and development — the space that I call “The Gap.” And by talking about “The Gap” and how it makes us feel, I hope to empower you to close the gap and start living out your highest potential!


What Is “The Gap”?


Let’s talk a little bit more about what exactly “The Gap” is. I define the gap as the space between where you are right now — what you’re doing right now, your habits, patterns, and behaviors — and what you know you want to be doing. It’s the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

This is a huge topic of discussion in the personal development world, and of course it is because it’s such a common experience! Have you ever found yourself living in the gap? I know I can raise my hand for this question.

Have you ever listened to a podcast or attended an event like Ascend, learned so much, and felt so empowered, only go back home and return to your life without implementing any of the new strategies you’ve learned? Maybe you’ve invested in some fantastic financial coaching, but you haven’t actually used what you’ve learned to start making better financial investments. Or perhaps you’ve spent time consulting with a nutritionist and a fitness instructor, and you’ve attended workout classes and weekend fitness workshops, but when it’s all over, you fall back into your old patterns. 

And what so many of us do in that situation is actually make the problem worse. We go back to our podcasts, we read more books, and we gain more information, but we continue not to take action. That widens the gap. 

And the worst part about all of this is that we start to feel discouraged. As the gap widens, we experience loss of self-esteem and feelings of being overwhelmed. Shame goes up, worthiness goes down, we feel terrible about ourselves, and the gap continues to widen even further. 

I think that the desire to improve yourself is a real gift. I’m so inspired at events like Ascend because I get to meet so many women who have an honest desire to improve themselves, their business, and their families! But the truth is, we have a responsibility to close the gap. But how can we do that? What does it take to close the gap?


You Can Decide To Close The Gap


Have you ever ridden on a subway in London? Do you know what the announcer says over the loudspeaker when a subway train is boarding? One of the attendees at Ascend this year mentioned this to me, and I think it’s so relevant to this discussion. When a new subway train is boarding in London, the announcer says, “Mind the gap.”

And what she means is, “mind the gap between the platform and the train, so you don’t fall down or get stuck!” But I think this applies to “The Gap” we’ve been talking about.

“Mind the gap.” Grow your awareness of it; that’s always the first step. When you’re aware that you’ve gathered all this knowledge and the tools and resources you need, but you’re not taking the steps necessary to implement that information, you can actually start to bridge the gap.

From there, you have to choose to take action. That’s your true responsibility here: decide to close the gap through action. You don’t need a 30-day plan or a 90-day plan. You just need to act.

And you can do it today. You can decide to close the gap. What choices can you make today, in the next hour, to propel you toward your goal?

Maybe your goal is to change your relationship with food. And you’ve spent time talking with a nutrition coach, and you’ve listened to fitness podcasts and memorized the Golden Rules of Carbs and Fat Loss, but you haven’t taken any action. You’re still in the gap, and you know it because your actual relationship with food hasn’t changed. As a result, you feel increasing shame and frustration and defeat.

So how can you close the gap? Decide to take action. What action can you take right now that will help close the gap? It doesn’t have to be big — any action at all starts to close the gap. Maybe you go through your grocery list, cross off some junk food, and add some healthy fruits and vegetables. Perhaps you do all your meal prep for the next three days. Maybe you finally call a friend and ask them to be your accountability partner. You could do all those things today! With each small action you take, you make the gap between who you are and who you want to be smaller.


The Gap Is Always Changing


Here the other thing about the gap: it’s always changing. As your goals shift and you change your lifestyle to fit them, the gap will get wider again. That’s okay! It’s normal! The key is to continue to mind the gap and take new actions to close it again.

But it can be difficult. As we’ve already talked about, when the gap gets wider, we start to experience shame, discouragement, and defeat. But I want to empower you today to believe that those feelings do not define who you are. They’re just the world’s way of telling you that you’re in the gap.

Let me repeat that: Your feelings of shame and unworthiness and defeat do not define who you are. They are absolutely not a reflection of your characters or your ability to change and grow. They’re just signals that the gap is widening. They provide an opportunity to mind the gap, evaluate where you need to take action, and reorient yourself to continue pursuing your goals.

And remember, it doesn’t have to be a Herculean effort. You don’t have to dash through every obstacle and build a perfect business and perfect marriage and perfect body in the next 15 minutes! All you have to do is take some simple action. Small steps will ultimately close the gap and transform you from who you are into who you want to be. 

I talked with one of the awesome women who attended Ascend, and she put it like this: every choice I make either widens the gap or closes the gap. And it’s true — all you have to do is make choices that close the gap. And when the gap shifts, reevaluate and continue making choices to close it again.

What can you do today to close the gap? What choices can you make to ensure you’re making the gap smaller and not wider? Seriously, ask yourself these questions, and choose to act on them today.


Are You Ready To Close The Gap?


Take a few minutes to evaluate yourself — are you in the gap? Are you experiencing feelings of overwhelm and frustration and disappointment and shame? Are you ready to take action to reach your goals today?

Remember what I said earlier: It is a real gift to desire to improve yourself. Not everyone has that desire; some people are content to live their lives without changing at all. They’re not interested in extending to that outer edge of the spectrum. They’re not listening to the podcasts, reading the books, or attending events and workshops. They’re not interested in growing, and so they’re not creating the gap.

But if you’re Primal Potential and reading this post right now, you probably do want to change. You’re ambitious. You have goals and dreams that you are worthy of achieving, but when we don’t take action to reach those goals and dreams, we can fall into the gap. It’s just a fact. 

But you can close the gap. I hope that you feel empowered to do that. You ladies are incredible, and your transformation starts the moment you decide.

Now, if you’d like some extra support, a little more coaching, and accountability, I want you to get on the waitlist for our next 12 Weeks of Transformation! In this program, I work with people in a much more personal and structured way to create change. We tackle our excuses head-on and find the core values that will motivate you to take action. If you’re not sure what to do next, I encourage you to check out 12 Weeks to Transformation and get on that waitlist! 

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I’d also love to connect with you via text! I send out text messages with my daily mindset upgrades and daily encouragement. I know they will empower you as you take action and close the gap!

Thanks, everyone! Talk to you later!


Elizabeth Benton

The Primal Potential Podcast

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