Looking back over my 20+ years of yo-yo dieting, restricting, bingeing, rapid weight loss and compensatory weight gain, I think there is one thing that can sum up why I kept failing:the approaches I was trying weren’t sustainable.
There’s no question that I dropped weight super fast when I did the HCG diet. But the last day of the diet was the last day I’d ever eat that way – 2 apples and 2 pieces of fish for a total of less than 500 calories for the day. What did I expect to happen when it was over? I trained my body to operate on soooo little fuel. In order to survive, my metabolism slowed down. When I went back to what I thought was a healthy, moderate approach to maintaining the weight loss, I ballooned back to bigger than I was before – in record time.
I spent months on crash diets where all I ate was chicken broth and protein shakes. Same story. Is that sustainable? Good Lord no!!! Not even close.
Being the analytical type that I am, I spent a lot of time looking back over my failed diet attempts to find common themes. Was it me? Was I just too weak? Did I have no self control? Actually, I’d argue that with the severity of some of the diets I adhered to, I had pretty impressive self control!But I wasn’t adopting an approach that I could follow for the rest of my life.
That’s why I chose a Primal diet. It is now my lifestyle and honestly, it always will be. I was tired of traditional diets. I was tired of following someone else’s set of rules.I wanted a common sense approach to eating that would help me lose fat and get healthy but also something that I could easily maintain indefinitely.I didn’t want to sign on for anything that was going to result in compensatory weight gain. That would make all my efforts completely a waste of time and energy! No thanks! Been there, done that. 20 different pant sizes in my closet to prove it.
The Primal approach made sense to me. You eat foods in their natural form. You don’t eat processed junk. You eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. You choose foods that satisfy your hunger, increase your energy and minimize cravings. I won’t tell you that I made the transition overnight – I didn’t. I knew I needed to take a gradual approach. I didn’t rush myself. I just worked on it slowly. First I cut out processed foods every day except my one cheat day. Then I got rid of the cheat day but incorporated a few healthy-ish buffer foods (not Primal at this point) like protein bars and shakes. Then I cleaned up my buffer foods, only using shakes and bars when needed for convenience and travel.
I made these changes over a series of months. And in 18 months I had lost just under 140 lbs. I will eat this way for the rest of my life. I will continue to emphasize fat, protein and vegetables. I’ll avoid processed foods except for occasional indulgences. I’ll avoid wheat and grains. I’ll buy organic meat and produce to reduce my exposure to toxins. I’ll walk often. I’ll push my body through high intensity workouts and I’ll lift a few times each week.
Is what you’re doing sustainable? Have you tried unsustainable approaches? What happens when you go “off” the diet? It might be time to try a new approach…
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine. She’s watched my transformation and has regularly remarked, “I don’t know how you do it!!” She often asks how I managed to make such dramatic changes in my life while juggling a stressful job and the normal demands of life.
One day we sat down and as I tried to explain to her how I knew she could do it too, she responded with one reason after another why I was so different and she couldn’t possibly do what I’ve done. I felt myself getting frustrated because everything she said was totally untrue – she had so many misconceptions about me and what I’ve done to lose weight and get healthy. I looked her in the eye and said “You’re making excuses. You’re convincing yourself that you can’t do this.” She was totally wrong about my approach.The difference between failure and success is not the degree of your intensity, it’s how successfully you embrace moderation.
In the months since then, several other people have said similar things and I what I’ve realized is that people make a lot of assumptions about the “behind the scenes” things I’ve never really talked much about. I decided to address a lot of these misconceptions because I don’t want anyone to see my story and think “Yeah, well I could never do that…” When you start to do that you’re either misinformed or you’re making excuses. I can’t make you stop the latter but I can clear up some common misconceptions.
Misconception #1: I’m hardcore.
I’ll admit that I have a tendency to be an “all or nothing” person. I spent most of my life alternating between periods of extreme restriction and periods of constant indulgence. However, what has allowed me to be successful in losing over 100 pounds is avoiding that hardcore mentality. I changed my eating patterns gradually. When I first started out I allowed myself a cheat meal every week. I’d go all out enjoying everything I’d been craving all week. After a few months of seeing results and gaining momentum, I didn’t feel like I needed the cheat meals anymore.
At that point, I transitioned to usually protein bars as periodic indulgences. I loved Quest Bars and I’d sometimes have one every day for a little sweet fix. Just like with the cheat meals, after a few months I didn’t feel like I needed that anymore.
Now, I keep careful tabs on my cravings and every few weeks I’ll enjoy a special treat – a cup of ice cream or a milkshake – something that I’ll really savor.
I’ve actually come really see the “all or nothing” mindset as a hindrance. The more I deprive myself and hold myself to impossibly high standards of perfection, the less capable I am of moderation. I’m not hardcore. I don’t want to be hardcore. I’m moderate and I’m kind to myself.
Misconception #2: I’ve always been a healthy eater.
Compared to some people, this might be true but I definitely don’t have a history of eating salmon and brussel sprouts. I grew up in a house where we ate “healthy” as one would consider the Standard American Diet. I don’t consider it all that healthy. There was a lot of cereal, a lot of pasta, a lot of processed food. Remember, I also experienced food restriction growing up because my mom wanted me to lose weight and this drove me to overeating and sneaking food. I was a candy-monster. My mom would keep After-Eight dinner mints hidden in the dining room and I’d pull one chocolate out at a time, eat it, and put the empty wrapper back in the box.
The transition to a Primal way of eating was a very gradual one. I battled sugar cravings and had to figure out a way to work it in to my lifestyle. I didn’t wake up one day and cut out everything processed. I made slow, moderate changes and gradually added changes as it felt comfortable.
Misconception #3: I spent hours a day working out.
Oh how far from the truth this is!! When I 300+ lbs I didn’t set foot in a gym. I didn’t own a treadmill. I’m not sure I could have spelled the word exercise, never mind spend any amount of time working out. Not a chance. Even when I started changing my eating habits I wasn’t ready to workout. I didn’t start going to the gym until I after I had lost 50 lbs.
Not only that, I’ll be the first one to tell you that while I think working out is a great way to stay healthy, you can make it a long way towards your fat loss goals without adding exercise. The majority of your results will come from what you eat and how well you balance your hormones.
I workout now because I love it. It makes me feel strong and I enjoy challenging my body. I think that if I worked out less and allowed my body more time to recover I might see better fat loss results. The bottom line is this: I am not a gym rat and you certainly don’t have to be to achieve major fat loss success.
Misconception #4: I spend a ton of time cooking and meal prepping.
Oh my. This is SO not true. When I am hungry I want to eat. Like, immediately. I’ll eat my hand before I’ll spend an hour prepping a meal. Most of my meals are ready to go in 15 minutes or less. Usually less. I don’t make complicated recipes. Most of my meals have 4 ingredients or fewer. I eat foods I love and I prepare them simply. Washing my dishes takes more time than prepping my meals and that’s probably because I don’t use the dishwasher.
Misconception #5: I had to let everything else in your life go.
I wish I could have!! I’ve sometimes envied contestants on shows like the Biggest Loser because they don’t have jobs and other outside commitments. For the majority of my weight loss journey (the first 130 lbs) I was working 50-60 hours each week at a very stressful job. I was taking care of a 2,800 sq foot house and of course I was (and am) married. I had other interests and commitments.
I didn’t have the luxury of letting up on my job. In fact, it required more and more of me each month. I worked my butt off and that company certainly got the majority of my time and attention. When I got home from work I had take care of cleaning, laundry, bills – the normal stuff that most working women manage.
What I did do was make my health a priority. I got up a little earlier to ensure that my meals were prepped for the day. I packed my lunch most days. I tried to schedule windows of time before or after work to get to the gym or workout at home. I didn’t commit to things that weren’t important to me because I knew I had enough on my plate. The only thing I let go of was my hopelessness. I started believing that I was capable of creating massive change in my life and I made it happen.
When something is important to you, you’ll find a way. If it’s not important, you’ll find an excuse. I spent years making excuses until one day I was ready. When I was ready, no excuse mattered and I regardless of what was going on in my life, I found a way. If you’re trying to sell yourself on all the reasons you can’t do it, you’re either not ready (and that’s fine) or you need to give yourself a little tough love and not accept anymore excuses and commit to action.
What if I gave you the following assignment: you are to sit by this old-school wood stove and keep the fire roaring for 24 hours non stop. The only materials you can use to fuel the fire are gasoline, newspaper and tiny twigs.
You’d better have a BOATLOAD of gas, newspaper and twigs and don’t count on being able to get anything else done! You’ll be right by that wood stove allllll day long, constantly fueling it. Sure, the fire will burn hot but as soon as you stop adding fuel, it won’t last long, right? A ridiculously time-intensive and inefficient task, no?
That’s pretty much the equivalent of how we’re fueling our bodies when we eat diets rich in processed foods, wheat, grains and other garbage carbohydrates. There’s no question that carbohydrates provide fuel for our bodies. It’s true. They can increase our energy quickly just like gasoline, newspaper and twigs can provide quick, powerful fuel for a fire. However, as quickly as they provide fuel and energy, it’s gone. It burns hot and fast. Just like the fire burns out when that quick-burning fuel isn’t replenished, we start to burn out shortly after consuming these junk carbs and processed foods.
What does that feel like? Low energy. Hunger. Cravings, especially for carbohydrates. Mood swings. Irritability. Lack of focus. Sound familiar? So what do we do? We eat more junk carbs!! We feel that energy surge again and are momentarily satisfied until it fades and we’re back to feeling like trash.
To avoid this, we need to focus on fueling our body intelligently. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being hungry and I certainly don’t like feeling overwhelmed by cravings. I purposefully choose foods that will satisfy my hunger, keep me satiated for hours and reduce the likelihood that I’ll experience cravings later. For me, that means emphasizing healthy fats, non-starchy vegetables and animal proteins. Fat is an incredibly energy-dense fuel, which means it’s going to curb my hunger and keep it at bay for a long time while maintaining my energy levels. Non-starchy vegetables are the “volume” component of my meals. I’ll often eat 3-4 cups of veggies like Brussels sprouts, greens, broccoli or cauliflower with a meal. I never walk away from the table feeling hungry!! Like fat, protein is a slow-burning fuel source so it’s going to fill me up and maintain my energy level for hours while also reducing the chances that I’ll experience cravings later.
If you want to burn fat and not be miserable (hungry, tired, cranky) while you do it, you’ve got to focus on fueling your body intelligently. That will look different for all of us, but some of the principles will be the same – especially as it relates to avoiding garbage carbohydrates from things like processed foods and grains. The other intricacies you’ll have to play around with. I limit my carbohydrates to either post workout or my evening meal. My breakfast meal is primarily fat. I get the majority of my protein at lunch and dinner.
Find what works for you. Pay attention to your hunger. What types of foods satisfy it? Pay attention to your cravings. When are you most likely to experience them? Can you reduce them with specific changes to your diet or exercise? Where is your perfect balance of sanity, satisfaction and success? Find that sweet spot and then tweak as you go.
I want to help you break out of this crazy carbohydrate cycle. I want to help you break your carb addiction. I want to help you overcome cravings and constant hunger. I want to help you beat the bloat that chronic carbs can cause and start to learn all the skills you’ll need to lose fat and KEEP IT OFF. And you know what? I don’t want to wait until the New Year. I want to start now. For free. I want to help you identify smart carbohydrate strategies and navigate the holidays without weight gain (and maybe even some fat loss!!).
