Hi friends! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been frustrated with how slowly I felt my progress on my goals was. This was true for me when I was losing weight, getting out of debt, and even back when I was writing Chasing Cupcakes, and my impatience made all of those things take even longer.
I felt like the least consistent person in the world or the most impatient person on earth, but these are skills that I have been able to build!
As CrossFit superstar Mat Fraser says, “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.”
If you pair patience and consistency you will be unstoppable; and you can practice being more patient today. You can practice being more consistent today.
Patience paired with consistency is an unbeatable comb and that is why, for a long time now, I have been really looking forward to sharing today’s message which is inspired by the module on patience from Breaking Barriers, my self-guided e-course which walks you through the process of transforming your mindset to break through the barriers to your goal achievement.
The module on patience that I am drawing from here is especially useful for anybody who is an emotional eater. Listen or read on below!
1:00 Patience Is the Hardest Part of Achievement
Can anyone relate to this? Many, many times, I have taken a hiatus from my self-improvement journey only because I lost patience.
This happened to me countless times in weight loss, writing chasing cupcakes, and when I was getting out of debt. I wanted results faster than they were coming and, somehow, I twisted the logic to think, “I don’t care. I can’t deal with this right now. It’s not going to happen for me.” And, I would stop.
I see a lot of people getting caught in this trap of impatience, where every thought of quitting wastes energy you could be using to make success faster and easier.
If we could just work to become more patient, we would have done the hardest part of achievement. Impatience, getting frustrated, and letting that derail us is what makes it take so long, for getting out of debt, losing weight, starting a business, for everything we want to achieve.
In the words of one of my favorite authors, James Clear, “The most overlooked and under-appreciated growth strategy is patience.”
This idea, right here, can and will change your life and accelerate your results if you turn it into a practice. Progress is a slow-burn. It’s a marathon, it’s not a sprint.
If you just decided that you’re not stopping, no matter what, no matter how hard or easy, no matter how many ups and downs there are. If you only refused to stop trying, you’d eliminate at least 50% of the stuff that messes you up.
Write this down: If I can wake up every single day, deciding to be patient with the process, patient with yourself, it’s going to be easier.
Too often, I am rushing to the next thing. I have had so many thoughts recently that I should be further along, further along with losing my baby weight, further along with writing my next book, further along with my business, but when I take the perspective that I have time, there is no rush. I don’t have to wish away my baby weight. There is no rush to finish renovating my house.
That is patience and that is the most underappreciated and overlooked strategy.
6:01 Patience Isn’t Fixed
All you have to focus on is what you can do today.
Recently, I received an email from someone who says that they are too easily distracted by new tactics, “Maybe I should try this or maybe I should try that. No, I should start with this.”
I think this phenomenon is sometimes a convenient way to distract ourselves or let ourselves off the hook because we don’t have to take action if we tell ourselves we’re planning and figuring it out.
Action is available to all of us. What lies beneath that frenetic energy that sounds like, “What happens next? Why is this taking so long?” is impatience.
Patience isn’t fixed.
You can grow and develop it; you can become more patient. I’m telling you right now, whether your goal is related to finances, health or fitness, the best thing you can learn to develop is your own patience.
If today you decide you’re going to be patient but next week rolls around, you start thinking about months down the line, the holidays, the new year, you’re thinking too far ahead because you are impatient.
If you show up every day and do your best, it will take care of itself.
A lot of people are letting themselves off the hook, thinking “I don’t know if I should do this or that. My schedule is wonky.” We all have the ability, today and every day, to make the choice that is an improvement from yesterday.
For health or fitness, it can be as simple as asking, “What does it look like to take great care of myself today?”
You don’t have to have all of the answers or have everything figured out, you can answer that question and execute on the answer.
11:09 Decide That You Will Never Quit
No matter your goal, if you focus on how fast it’s going to happen, and what happens after that, and what happens after that, and so on, 12 steps ahead, you’re wasting your energy. That energy could be applied to what you need to do today, what you can do today, and what it’s going to take.
Impatience is destructive, distracting, and it becomes a story that you use to let yourself off the hook.
Start by giving energy to what you need to do today.
Embrace this fact: it’s going to take longer than you want it to.
There are going to be days where you want to quit. You will get frustrated and discouraged so if you have it in your mind that quitting is an option, then you are setting yourself up for it to take even longer. Now, if you accept the fact if quitting is not an option, you will know that you will eventually get there. It doesn’t matter what happened last week. It doesn’t matter what you’re afraid of.
You just have to decide that you are never going to quit.
It is going to require patience.
You’ve got to stay focused on what you need to do to develop the skill and pattern of behavior that will carry you there. For all of the drama and consideration of quitting, every ounce of that is energy taken from what you could use to deliver results and make success faster and easier.
14:33 For the Rest of My Life I will Invest in Myself
Before the fall 12 Weeks to Transformation started, someone emailed me saying this was their “last-ditch effort” to lose weight. She shared that she had tried so many things and this was her last attempt.
I was surprised and concerned by that, like, “Really? 12 more weeks and then done for life if you don’t create success?!”
Here’s what helped me when it came to weight loss. I would get very, very frustrated that I was doing so well and yet it doesn’t seem like I was getting results. I felt like I was working so hard and it was going so slow. When I was trying to lose a specific amount of weight, or I was trying to fit into a certain clothing size, if I didn’t lose weight at the pace that I had decided was acceptable, then I was done.
Here is the mindset that I shifted to, I am here to take great care of myself for the rest of my life. That is not contingent on my body composition, the size inside my pants, or the number on the scale. For the rest of my life, I will care about and invest in my health, in my finances, and in my relationships.
That is who and how I choose to be.
I will always come back to that, even if my budget is blown for a year, even if I snap at my husband, even if I miss the gym for a month.
If weight loss comes, great. If weight loss is slow, great. If I reach a weight where I no longer desire weight loss, great.
I want you to embrace that there will be periods of progress and periods without progress. There will be periods where you’re motivated and engaged and periods when you’re not.
16:30 Create a Lifestyle of It
Let’s use the example of money. If you are only a good steward of your finances until you get out of debt then if you feel like something is throwing you off course, or something is slowing you down, you might decide that you won’t bother trying.
On the other hand, if you decide to be financially responsible for life, then it’s not about how quickly or slowly you pay off debt. Sometimes there will be great results, sometimes you will do the work, and sometimes you won’t, but you continue to engage in it.
If you’re only interested in the short-run, to save $1,000 or lose 50 pounds, what happens after you get there? If you don’t have a commitment to that lifestyle, don’t be surprised if you regain the weight, and don’t be surprised when you’re back in debt.
It doesn’t have to be agony. If it does, you’re doing it wrong and you need to change the process. There needs to be joy in the journey or else you won’t stick with it.
Check yourself when you’re feeling frustrated and ask these questions:
If I am in this, committed for life, no matter the outcome, who and how do I want to be?
Am I being patient?
What would it look like to truly have patience in this situation? How would that change my perspective?
Start to audit your thoughts, rationalizations, and look at how patient you really are.
The most overlooked and under-appreciated growth strategy is patience.
What is the key to consistency, results?
How do I get out of my own way?
Do the work. Stop worrying about what comes next and what it’s going to look like. It’s amazing, taking action feels so much easier when you are no longer dramatic and wasting energy being frustrated.
More on Breaking Barriers
This lesson is a piece of the module on patience from the Breaking Barriers course. Especially for my listeners who were thinking about the 12 Weeks to Transformation but couldn’t swing it financially, this course is a lower-priced option. If you have questions, email the team or send me a DM on Instagram!