Almost every week I have a live Q&A webinar with the clients in my 12 week groups. The questions range a wide variety of topics – nutrition, hormones, stress, negativity, you name it. Last week, someone asked me to talk more about my own personal journey. She asked if I ever had moments of despair and how I handled them.
I shared honestly. Yes, there have been moments of despair. There continue to be moments of despair. There have been huge challenges and small challenges and those struggles continue to this day. Even beyond the word despair – there are hard moments in every day. There are moments and days and weeks when I don’t want to try. There are moments and days & weeks where life feels (or is) very challenging. I suspect that will be the case for the rest of my life (and yours). It’s about how we respond to those moments. It’s about how we choose to behave in those moments.
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I will happily share a situation that came up just the other day where I needed to give myself a taste of my own mindset medicine. Before that though, I want to share my general rule of thumb for tough moments:
I don’t make decisions during emotional volatility.
If I’m stressed or angry, I’m not going to make a decision about alcohol or ice cream. I’m not going to respond to an email. I’m going to sit, breathe, reframe and take great care of myself until the storm clears.
I get a million opportunities every week to practice living that standard and making it a habit. Every hard moment is a chance to practice. And sometimes, I need a bit of my own tough love or mindset medicine.
Just the other day, when I was supposed to be sitting and working on my book, I texted my friend. Here’s what I said:
“What is wrong with me? Why do I have a mental block with this? Do I just need to quit?”
He replied, “No. Winners don’t quit”
That wasn’t enough for me. I said, “I feel like I can’t do it. I can’t make it great. I can’t get it organized.”
As I typed those words, I reminded myself:
Can’t lives on won’t street.
What I was really saying in my text was, “I won’t do it. I won’t make it great. I won’t get it organized.” I was choosing to let the obstacles win.
The truth is, I can do it. I can make it great. I can get it organized, if I choose to.
But, that won’t happen when I’m focused on telling myself I can’t.
I don’t have a mental block, though I can certainly create one.
Nothing is wrong with me, though I can convince myself something is.
I am doing it, but I can choose not to.
I can make it great, if I choose to.
Here’s the two biggest tips I can give you for moments of despair, big or small:
Stop convincing yourself of the problem so you can start acting on the solution.
Don’t make decisions during emotional volatility.
You’ve got this. So do I. Get to work.