Why You’re Giving Up (Again)

by | Aug 31, 2017 | Blog

I had a call with a Fat Loss Fast Track client yesterday. It was a tough call. I thought about her all night – how I could help, how I could talk about the situation differently, in a way she might be willing & able to hear.

If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click here to listen on Anchor. Please note that Anchor is not the Primal Potential Podcast, it’s a short form audio channel where I share these blogs and other personal updates.

We intended to air our conversation as a coaching podcast, but as we wrapped up, I let her know I felt it was a very personal call and, out of respect for her journey, we’d keep the recording between us.

Instead, I’m turning it into a blog. Hahahaha. Just kidding, just kidding. C’mon. That was funny. 🙂

I will, however, share the big picture of the challenge she’s facing as well as her perspective and mine. I want to make sure all of you avoid this mental trap.

The simple backstory: she’s not seeing results and she thinks she should be. She was clearly frustrated & feeling defeated. She said things like:

I don’t understand why it’s not working.

I should be seeing results.

I should have lost a good amount of weight by now.

The changes I’ve made are significant enough for results.

I gently explained to her that what she thinks “should” happen is irrelevant. In fact, it’s a distraction.

There are only two options:

Argue for the way you think things should be.

Respond to the way things are.

As unemotional as that is, those really are the only two options.

I let her know that I was there to help her look at the way things are & identify adjustments that will produce results.

She responded by making a case for why she should be seeing results already – how her body should have changed.

I can relate to the perspective. We make changes, we put in some work, we feel proud of ourselves and then, with good intentions, feel entitled to results.

Guys, it doesn’t matter how it should be. Nothing good can come from using your energy for how reality doesn’t match your expectations.

All that exists is the way things are. We can’t be romantic or emotional about the way things should be. Well, we can be, but it certainly won’t help. In fact, it’s probably going to hold us back.

It’s purely a mental construct – an emotional projection based on assumptions and expectations. It’s not real. Let it go.

I reminded her again – you’re not doing anything to create the results you want when you are emotionally tied to the problem – the challenge – or your sense that you deserve results.

Her feelings are real, but they don’t move the needle. They keep her anchored to the problem.

It’s like arguing that you SHOULD have more money saved up because you’ve gone to college, you have a good job and established a budget.

Okay. That’s cool. But you don’t. So, now what?

We have to deal with reality – the way things are and what we’re able and willing to do to change them today.

We’re emotional creatures, for better or worse.

This perspective of how things should be without a committment to evaluating what you will do about the way things are sets you up for failure.

In this client’s case, she was using this story about how she should be seeing results to justify indulging & overeating. Because, if she should see results and she’s not, what’s the point?

Now, not only is she not moving forward, she’s using her frustration to choose her way even further from her goals!

She agreed, but once again went back to why she should be getting results with the changes she’s made.

Alternatively, when you focus on the way things are and what you’re able and willing to do to change them, you’re removed from that story of “what’s the point? It’s not working anyway.

If you feel stuck, ask yourself if your perspective has you focused on the present, the past or the future. Ask yourself if your perspective is on what you can do now or next. If it’s not, try that on for size.

Based on where you are now, what can you adjust to move in the direction of your goals? What action can you take today?


My car is having some maintenance done & I was supposed to get it back yesterday. However, they called to let me know they’d have to keep it overnight. So: I took an Uber to the gym. No excuses. There’s always a way. Working out is what I do in the morning and if you want a solution, you’ll find one.

Because I wasn’t sure what the response time of Uber would be in the morning where I live, I ended up getting to the gym about an hour early. No worries. I sat beside the workout floor with my laptop & got work done.

“Walking Dead” 
60 Double Unders
150’ Walking Lunge
15 Deadlifts (225/155)

Sooo……that 150 feet of walking lunges got spicy QUICKLY. The whole workout felt like a rest from the lunges! Holy toledo am I gonna feel those tomorrow!

On the food front:

I had a doctor’s appointment today at 10:30am and decided not to eat before then just in case. I didn’t think there’d be any testing required, but I wanted to be in a fasted state on the off chance it was required.

Afterwards, I went out to lunch at Chipotle. I had a salad with steak, guacamole and a little cheese.

I stayed busy through the afternoon & into the evening but took a break to enjoy a completely random dinner…I’m not sure anyone else would like this meal but I certainly did:

Two mahi burgers (frozen style from Trader Joes) each topped with a little bit of Primal Kitchen Chipotle Lime Mayo & a fried egg. I think I would have liked it better if it was a chicken, turkey or beef burger, but it was still tasty.

Quick reminder about a deal on the Primal Kitchen Chipotle Lime Mayo – it’s $13.07 on Amazon, $9.99 at Whole Foods and only $7.45 on Thrive Market.

In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.

And no – I am NOT a paid spokesperson for this chipotle mayo, haha, I just really think it’s delish & use it with protein & veggies on the regular!

Don’t forget! The final Fat Loss Fast Track of 2017 kicks off on October 1st and I’m opening up registration to the wait list on Thursday September 14th. If you’re interested, make sure you’re on the wait list.

If you want to learn more about the Fat Loss Fast Track, check out episode 352 of the Primal Potential podcast!

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