“I’m So Good at Helping Others. Why Can’t I Help Myself?”

by | Apr 12, 2019 | Blog

Yesterday I got an email from a client that said, “I’m so good at helping others but I just can’t seem to help myself!

She explained that she’s a teacher and is great at helping her students change their perspectives and and make progress towards goals. Her email concluded with a question:

Why can’t I help myself?

It’s the wrong question. 

Why can’t I help myself” is rooted in the problem. You’re fueling the problem with that inquiry.

I suggested a different question:

How will I help myself today? What am I able and willing to do today to help myself move in the direction of my goals?

Those questions aren’t rooted in the problem, but rather in immediate action related to the solution.

Anytime you’re struggling, I want you to ask yourself if you’re focused on the problem or on the solution.

I want you to ask yourself if you’re creating the solution or just thinking about it.

Are you taking action?

Are you focused on the solution in general or are you focused on today’s version of the solution?

When we want to create change or use the skills we’ve honed for helping others to help ourselves, there are a few boxes we want to check:

  • Focus on the solution, not the problem
  • Focus on action, not thought
  • Focus on today, not yesterday or tomorrow

The reality for this client is that she can help herself. Maybe she hasn’t chosen to, but she certainly can.

So can you.

What advice do you give to others than you can give and take (for yourself) today?

Stop talking yourself into the problem.

Stop talking yourself out of the solution.

Participate in the creation of the solution today!

If you want to learn more about working with me as your coach in our next 12 Weeks to Transformation, get on the wait list for our summer session!
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