I’m gonna get real with you today!
I get a lot of emails from people who, while explaining a choice or series of choices that they aren’t feeling great about, will say things like:
“…and then my fatty came out”
“my emotional eater took over”
“my overeater has resurfaced”
I gotta say: that’s total crap and believing it is holding you back.
Don’t get me wrong – I get it. I know I’ve said those things too. It’s still crap. Complete crap.
Here’s what saying those kinds of things does.
It disconnects you from your choices.
It puts distance between you and responsibility for what you do.
You’re blaming it on this “other person”.
Yo, that’s you. It’s always you & only you.
When you do that, you aren’t owning it. You aren’t taking responsibility.
When you don’t take responsibility, you can’t change the behavior because the behavior wasn’t really yours.
Yes it was.
You and you alone are 100% responsible for what you put in your mouth, when you put it there and how much you put in.
You are not possessed.
You are not out of control.
You might not like your choices but I need you to embrace these 2 truths:
- You are making the choice
- You can make a different one
No one took over. No one resurfaced. That was you.
Yes, you have some habits you’re trying to move beyond and you might choose those habits and then feel badly about it, but it was you and it was a choice. You were and are in control.
Don’t disempower yourself by implying that you didn’t have control or it was some “old you”.
You are always in control of your choices.
You are the only one putting food in your mouth.
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. You will never be perfect!
As we make improvements in any area of life, we have to be careful not to assume that means we’ll always make choices which reflect that improvement.
That’s nuts.
Think about it: you can improve your relationship but still have arguments.
You can improve your spending habits but still have a weekend of spending too much.
Welcome to life. Expect it.
Total ownership of all your choices is important because it’s empowering.
When you tell yourself that you’re out of control or there is this “former you” or “bad you” that takes over, you feel hopeless, stuck and disempowered.