Since launching Primal Potential, there’s a quote that keeps me headed in the right direction.
Part of knowing who you are is knowing who you’re not.
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Though I use it most often to help me find direction in business, I think it’s a great navigational concept for all areas of our lives and all decisions we make. Knowing who, how and what you don’t want to be can be a powerful tool!
I thought I’d take a few minutes today to share how I use this idea first in business, then in my personal life.
When starting a new company or launching a new brand, I’d argue that knowing who you’re not is just as important, if not more important, than knowing who you are. It’s easy to watch what other people are doing and think you should be doing it too. I see lots of people suffering from fear of missing out when they watch online personalities take a certain approach or move in a certain direction. The only way I’ve personally avoided that trap is by continuing to be clear on and constantly evaluate who I am and who I’m not.
I’m not the face of Primal Potential. I take no issue with people who are the star of their brands – good for them. There’s nothing wrong with that approach but it’s not my approach. I am the star of my own life but I don’t want to be the star of yours. You are.
The focus of Primal Potential isn’t me, it’s you. I continue to be amazed by how that clarity of who I am and who I’m not simplifes my business and directs the decisions I make.
Personally, it’s been equally as effective. I’ve changed a lot in the last few years. Though my body has changed dramatically, my mind has changed far more. There have absolutely been moments when I’ve not been entirely sure who I am. That’s when I turn to who I’m not.
I’m not someone who gets dramatic over choices I make. I’m not going to beat myself up over my decisions. If I don’t like my choices or results, I’ll change them. No drama. I’m not a victim.
I’m not a complainer. Yes, there are days when I’m tired, unfocused, unmotivated or just down. I’m not someone who focuses on the problems in my life. I’m someone who participates in solutions.
I’m not an attention seeker. I don’t need to impress you or anyone else. I don’t need to wave the flag of the changes I’ve created in my life. I’m way more interested in helping you reach your goals and hustling towards my own.
I use this concept in my romantic relationships, too. I learn more and improve more by getting clear on the kind of girlfriend I don’t want to be than focusing on the kind of girlfriend I am. I don’t want to be dimissive or vacant. I don’t want to be distracted. I don’t want to be critical. From there, I understand much more clearly how and who I do want to be. I want to be present. I want to be patient. I want to be supportive and generous. With that clarity, I challenge myself to identify how I can show up that way today.
Part of knowing who you are is knowing who you’re not.
What can you do with this idea today? Make it a great day!