We’re in the home stretch! Baby girl could come any time, really! Though her due date isn’t until the end of February, I know it’s up to her at this point! Here’s her most recent picture, which will probably be her last as we aren’t planning to have any more ultrasounds.

My bump has taken over and I won’t lie: I’ve gained a lot of weight. I’m not sure of the exact number, but I’m pretty sure that with several weeks still to go, I’m already up over 40 pounds. How do I feel about it? Totally fine, for the most part.

Sure, I have moments of looking at my hips & butt and thinking, “Whoa. That’s quite different…” but honestly, it’s just the journey. I know that I create my results.

When I have intermittent moments of frustration or disappointment, I calmly remind myself that I’m in control here. I use uncomfortable feeing as a reminder to move a little more that day or dial back the sugar (baby still doesn’t respond well to vegetables and protein).

I don’t want to be someone who is dramatic about my size. I want to use my energy & emotion for more productive things. These aren’t problems; they’re opportunities for growth & change (literally and figuratively)!

It’s been a really interesting transition…there’s a part of me that is genuinely excited to have gained so much weight. It sounds weird, even to me, as I type it. I think it’s because losing 100+ pounds was a journey full of so much pride. It wasn’t without it’s challenges & frustrations, but I remember being so proud of myself and excited about where I was going. While weight loss will not be my priority as soon as baby is born, it doesn’t scare or intimidate me, either. The opportunity for change is always exciting. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about who I want my daughter to have as a mother…how I want her to see me. I want her to see and know me as a confident woman who takes impeccable care of herself. I want her to witness what a healthy body & mind look like.

That’s another idea that gets me so excited. It’s no longer just about me, how I feel in my body or my aesthetic goals. It’s now about what I get to demonstrate for my daughter.

Meanwhile, there’s a lot of other stuff going on….

The renovation continues. I anticipate this phase will be complete in early February so we’ll be hustling to get stuff out of storage and settled before the baby arrives. We’re still living in the studio apartment on our property with most of our stuff packed away. It’s a tight squeeze and we’re reading for more space and the comforts of home! (I’ve been sharing house progress pictures on my Instagram stories if you aren’t following me there!)

There hasn’t been much intentional movement/exercise lately, in large part because I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago and injured my back. We monitored baby at the hospital after the fall and she was fine, but my back didn’t fare as well.

However, I just bought a treadmill and I’m going to set it up in my office. I’m excited to walk a lot more, both before & after baby.

One of my biggest priorities has been my delivery mindset. 

It’s staggering how many people offer up their horror stories about birth and recovery. For that reason, I’m spending a lot of time getting my mind healthy, positive and strong for delivery.

I have no expectations of how it will go – I’m not attached to any particular birth plan – but I do want to feel as calm and confident as possible going into the experience.

I’ve been spending 90 minutes each day (that time isn’t easy to find) going through hypnobirthing audios and reviewing affirmations about how strong and capable my body is. I’m visualizing my response to contractions and the calm way I work with my body instead of fighting against it.

I’ve also really stepped up my committment to nutrient density every day. I know this is a big part of my ability to recover after giving birth. I’m militant about my probiotics, getting enough protein, taking my omegas and including vegetables at every meal.

I don’t have a hospital bag packed, the nursery isn’t done, I have no idea what baby will wear home from the hospital and it will likely all stay that way. However, I do want to make sure I have some snacks to bring to the hospital!

I promise to keep you all posted! I’m excited to share our little girl with you when she arrives, as well as all the details of her arrival!