My Boyfriend Sucks at CrossFit (and it’s perfect)

by | Jan 7, 2019 | Blog

I’ve been dating a guy for almost 2 years. For the first year, we were kinda long distance, but since we’ve lived in the same town, I’ve really, really wanted him to workout with me. My ex-husband didn’t share my enthusiasm for the gym. In all the years we were together, I don’t think we worked out together once. In college, my boyfriend and I worked out together regularly and I LOVED sharing that connection. We encouraged each other, cheered each other on and it felt so good to be a team, at least in that regard.

If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please press play below. Otherwise, keep on reading! Please note. The audio is explicit. 

Ever since, I’ve really wanted working out together to be a component of my relationship. There’s something about being “in it together”, witnessing each other work hard, and getting to share a small but consistent part of our days, which otherwise are understandably separate.

Even with that strong desire, I’ve never pushed my boyfriend to join me. In fact, I rarely even brought it up. From my experience of having been pushed and pressured to lose weight, I know how terrible that feels and work hard to make sure that no one in my life feels any pressure related to food, fitness or fat loss. Ever. For any reason. Regardless of how good my intentions are.

Once every few months I’d ask, “Want to come?” as I headed to the gym, but that was the extent of it. The answer was always no…until the last week of November.

One Saturday, he asked what I was doing the next day. “Well, I’m going to open gym in the morning. Want to come?

To my amazement, he said, “Sure.” It wasn’t an enthusiastic “sure”, but I jumped at the first sign of willingness!

I figured open gym would be a great way to ease into it without the pressure of a coach and a bunch of other members. Less structure, fewer eyes on him, something a bit more casual….except for the workout I had us do. It included a combination of deadlifts, box jumps and burpees. Hardly an easy combination, even for a seasoned CrossFit enthusiast.

It was not a soft start, but that’s kinda my style. No one has ever accused me of being subtle. 🤷🏻

He wasn’t happy. At all. Seconds into the first round of burpees I heard him say to himself, (or to me, but I ignored it) “I f*cking hate burpees!

A couple minutes later, definitely to me this time, he angrily said through gasps for air, “This is why I wanted to join a regular gym and get in shape on my own before doing this sh*t!

I didn’t say a word.

The cursing, complaining and displeasure continued. I was giggling on the inside, but I promise I didn’t let it show.

The next day, he went back with me – to the gym, by his own volition. He struggled through the regular class workout, taking a couple rounds off to recover before finishing with us.

The following day, he went with me again, and struggled again. After the workout, he signed up for an unlimited membership.

He gone with me 5-6 days every week since then. It’s been nearly 6 weeks.

He’d be the first to tell you that he’s not good at CrossFit. He’s not. I agree.

He’d be the first to tell you that it’s outside his comfort zone and he doesn’t know what’s doing half the time. It’s a hit to his ego.

He’d also be the first to tell you that he’s so glad he started going and absolutely plans to continue.


Why is it that people get so enthusiastic about CrossFit (or other similar things that outsiders might call “extreme” or “cult like”)? Biased side note – people who refer to CrossFit as a cult are always people who have never been part of the CrossFit community. I’ve never understood how you can make such strong assertions about something you haven’t experienced, but I digress….

Why do we fall in love with doing hard things once we step past fear & doubt and start doing them?

It’s not about the barbell.
It’s not about becoming an elite athlete.

There are two things I believe make it so addictive:

  1. The community
  2. The experience of exceeding your expectations

It’s not that he fell in love with CrossFit. I haven’t fallen in love with CrossFit.

It’s not about CrossFit at all. You become part of a community and fall in love with the experience of exceeding your own expectations.

I don’t do CrossFit to compete. I’m not trying to become a perfect physical specimen, whatever that is.

Most people aren’t.

In fact, my 66-year-old mother joined a CrossFit box this summer. She loves it. Like my boyfriend, she immediately fell into a consistent routine and really, really enjoys it.


Because it feels AMAZING to exceed your expectations and do hard things you weren’t sure you could do it.

That’s why I love it, too.

Inspired by CrossFit, that’s the vibe I work so hard to re-create in my Primal Potential Masters Club and, increasingly so, in my 12 Weeks to Transformation.

I’m not trying to convince you to start CrossFit. I’m definitely not trying to convince you to join my 12 Weeks to Transformation. Part of what makes these communities so amazing is that the people who are there want to be there. No one makes them go or twisted their arm.

I am, however, encouraging you to find SOME community that encourages you, daily, to exceed your own expectations! Whether it’s CrossFit, my 12 WT or something local to you, I want you to not only be part of a strong, positive community, but also one that encourages you to exceed your expectations and work hard

What a beautiful pursuit for the new year!

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