On Again, Off Again – How To Break The Cycle

by | Jun 6, 2016 | Blog

I got an email the other day & I want to share it with you. I think this email could have been written by any one of us and it represents one of the most significant issues keeping us from reaching our goals: the on-again-off-again cycle.

I like to talk more than I like to write so if you’d rather listen to this blog, click here.

This beautiful woman who emailed me wants to change. She wants to be healthy. She wants to be a better example for her kids. She wants to feel better about herself.

She doesn’t kinda want it. She really wants it.


She consistently makes food choices that aren’t doing her any favors. She overeats. She overindulges.

She doubts her ability to change. She doubts that health is really achievable for her.

I’ll share with you parts of her email:

I found your podcast about a month ago on Spotify. I was randomly scrolling though looking for something to listen to and I found primal potential. I cant remember exactly what episode it was but I remember you were talking about not arguing for our limitations. I was hooked.

I have always been a heavy girl. I really ballooned up when I had my children. right now I am sitting at 270 I am 5’3″.

I have always tried to lose weight I will start off strong and then I will mess up and I’m like f*@k it.

I will be all gung ho to get it together and then have a bad day or week and reach for the convenience of ordering something or picking up something quick. I have to break that habit for our heath and our finances.
I want to change our lifestyle before it negatively effects our children any more than it already has.

Anyway all of this rambling is basically to ask where you think I should start. I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of hating my body. I’m just so over it and I’m so lost on what to do. I’m convinced that I will never be healthy because I haven’t my whole life.

I’m stuck in that toxic place that is telling me it doesn’t matter how much I try I will never be able to do it and I’m over it. I want to get out of there. I want to believe in myself. I want to change my quality of life so I can enjoy it with my children!

Boy oh boy do I understand these struggles and frustrations! Sure, I don’t have kids, but I have been in that place of not knowing how to start, how to keep going and being tremendously unhappy with my body. Add to that real doubt about whether or not it’s possible…it’s hard place to be.

Of course I responded to her. You can listen to my response here, but here’s the crux of it:

  1. You simply can’t try to do too much too fast.
  2. Start with one small change.
  3. Accept that there is no reason you can’t do this unless you decide not to do it
  4. Reframe fearing of missing out and what “indulgences” and “convenience” really mean

Taking on too much too soon leaves you feeling like you’ve dropped the ball. If you decide to make 6 sweeping changes at once and you nail 3 and drop the ball on 3, you’re disappointed in yourself. You’ve broken a promise to yourself and triggered self-doubt & disappointment (even though you’ve made some improvements!)

So, how do you start? I explain it all in my voice note response.

If you’ve got questions about my breakfast strategy recommendation, listen to this podcast or this one.

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