You’re Not My Mood Maker

by | Nov 26, 2018 | Blog

There is something I say to myself every day, in an effort to coach myself. It’s something I remind myself of in an attempt to live happier and healthier days.

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I’m not immune to hard moments. Every single day, something (often many things) challenges me. Just the other day I was driving home and had to pause and ask myself, “What the heck is wrong?! Why am I feeling so down?

Without fail, things happen that frustrate me, ruffle my feathers, stress me out and everything in between.

That’s when I turn to this reminder:

I am my own mood maker.

My boyfriend is not my mood maker. My workload isn’t my mood maker. Traffic, long lines at the grocery store or inconsiderate comments people make – those things are NOT my mood makers.

But they used to be.

A looming deadline would “make me” stressed. An insensitive comment would “make me” sad.

I felt out of control because all these things outside me were constantly sending me in different emotional directions.

On top of that, I’d let my emotions dictate my decisions. When I was feeling down, I’d mentally check out. I’d tell myself that “I just can’t deal” with self-care or discipline.

That perspective led to endless inconsistency (and epic mood instability).

Fortunately, I’ve changed my perspective.

I am my own mood-maker. So are you. 

Yes, we can continue to act as though we are a victim of things that happen to us. We can let traffic, rude emails, flight delays and insenstive comments dictate our emotions.

OR: we can choose to be in control. We can choose to take control in any moment and shift our perspectives.

This is something I practice every, single day. That word, practice, is critical because this isn’t just a decision I make. It’s a practice. It requires my participation. I have to do something.

The other day, that day I was feeling really down on my drive home, I said to myself, “I am my own mood maker, so what am I going to do to turn this around?

I started by intentionally re-directing my perspective from what is wrong or undone to what is right and wonderful. I started to think about things like the fact that I was safe in my car. My family is safe. I am healthy. I have food in my fridge and a roof over my head. I have people who love me. I am okay.

It helped a little, but I still felt a little funky.

Then, I turned to an external tool: music.

I put on a song that gets me dancing and singing. I blasted it as loud as the volume would go. Then I chose a second upbeat song and a third.

I could feel the shift happening.

From a brighter state of mind, I asked myself, “What do I need to let go of?

Those things that ruffle my feathers – I can choose to let them go. I don’t have to continue to engage with them. They won’t matter in 10 years so I can choose to release them right now.

So can you. As you go through your day and your week, remind yourself that YOU can be your mood-maker.

Start to PRACTICE choosing this control.

Every bad mood or stressful moment is your next chance to practice!! Lots of stress? Lots of hard things in life? That great news is that you have more chances to practice!!

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