Though I am not a fan of one-size-fits-all approaches to any goal, there is one resolution I believe everyone should make this year and I’m sharing it in today’s episode.
This episode is the last one to air in 2017 but it doesn’t matter when you stumble across this gem – it has the power to dramatically accelerate your progress, reduce your excuses & change your life!
It would mean a lot to me if you would do something for me today. It doesn’t matter if you’re reading this post on 12.29.17 or any other day. Whenever you see or hear these words, please do me a favor.
Go out of your way to make someone smile. Go out of your way to make someone know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you care about them and love them.
On December 29th, 2004 my life changed.
If you’d rather listen to this blog, tears and all, instead of reading it, please click here.
I was in North Carolina in a teeny off-campus apartment during Christmas break of my senior year. Just the day before I had been at home in New Hampshire but drove back for my part time job.
The rest of my large family was in New England, skiing and celebrating Christmas.
Do you remember AOL Instant Messenger? Well, that night I was on AOL IM when my 13 year old cousin Dylan sent me a message.
“You need to call your mom.”
He was at my mom’s house – they had been skiing that day – but it was late. Probably almost 10pm. Maybe a little later.
“Why?” I asked. “It’s late.” My mom is an early bird like me. Early to bed, early to rise. I figured calling would wake her up.
“I can’t tell you, but it’s bad.”
I was worried but I figured something happened to one of my grandparents. They were in their 80s. I called home and my mom answered immediately.
Her voice sounded different than I had ever heard it. I still can’t describe what it sounded like. She didn’t say hello. She just said, “Why are you calling?”
Casually I responded, “I don’t know. Dylan told me to.”
There was a pause.
“Dad’s dead. The police are here. I have to go.”
She hung up. She was in shock, I’m sure. Only minutes earlier Dylan had answered the door for the police who told my mom that her husband, my step dad, the man who raised me, had been in a fatal accident just a few miles down the road.
It was a nightmare. It was real life, but that evening in North Carolina, planning how I could get home as quickly as possible, was the beginning of a terrible nightmare.
I’m not sharing this story because I want your sympathy. That’s the last thing I want.
I’m telling you this story, that I’ve never shared here with the Primal Potential family, because I want to share the joy and vitality of my dad with all of you. And I want to encourage you to share some of the joy & vitality in your own life.
I have an opportunity to really make that happen by sharing a little bit about him with you so that you can help me spread his heart & his joy.
He was not a complainer. He wasn’t a perfect man, by any stretch of the imagination, but he was undeniably full of life and full of joy.
We need more of that. All of us.
Growing up, when we’d leave for school, he’d send us off by saying, “Make someone smile today!” When we’d come home, he’d follow-up, “Who did you make smile today?”
He made everyone around him smile. He drove a big construction van and placed a huge, neon smiley face pin on the dash of the van. You couldn’t miss it. Everyone saw it.
He’d loudly (and perfectly) whistle “Don’t Worry Be Happy” in grocery stores so we’d know where he was, and to bring a smile to all the other shoppers.
He was never afraid to spontaneously break out into song. Of course we were regularly embarrassed but he didn’t care at all.
My mom hates this picture but I love it. They threw the best parties – this was their “ugly bridesmaid dress, tacky suit” party. He was the fun at every party.
He adored my mom & she showed it. He sent her flowers at work every Monday and would regularly say to me & my sister Debi, “Isn’t your mother beautiful?”
He had the loudest laugh you’ve ever heard and he wasn’t afraid to shout warm greetings in public places. “Heyyyyyyyyoooooo!”
He helped everyone he could, whenever he could. He gave huge hugs, even to strangers.
I am pretty sure that if I could speak to him today and ask him how I could make him proud, he would say, “Make your mother feel special today.” That I can do.
And I’d like to extend a variation of that to you.
Please make someone smile today. Be a bright light in the world today. Please do it today and please do it more often.
12.29.04. I will make your light shine brighter. The best of you is a huge part of me.
I regularly remind my clients that there’s no food that is a good choice, from a fat loss perspective, when your body doesn’t need fuel.
If you eat when you’re not truly hungry and/or your body doesn’t need fuel, you’re giving your body extra, regardless of where that extra comes from (brownies, chips or carrots).
What happens to extra fuel? It’s stored.
Most of us have these internal dialogues…”It’s late. I’m bored. I’m not hungry but I want a snack. What I really want is ice cream but I’ll have a bar instead…it’s still sweet but better than a bowl of ice cream….
I get it. It’s logical. I’m all for making improvements, but the reality is, extra fuel is stored. It doesn’t matter where the fuel came from. If your body doesn’t need it, it gets stored.
To practice improvements here, create a habit of asking yourself this simple question:
Am I hungry or do I just want to eat?
I ask myself a similar question when I’m working out: Do I have to stop or do I just want to? One hundred percent of the time I don’t have to stop, I can keep going, I just want to stop because stopping is easier. That simple question helps me keep pushing.
But what if you don’t know? What if you aren’t sure if you’re truly hungry or you just want to eat?
It’s totally normal to struggle to know what’s true hunger. For example, you might feel that hunger sensation in your belly just a short while after eating and wonder how you can be hungry already. I try to think about it from a common sense perspective:
What did I eat last?
When did I eat last?
What have I been doing since then?
From a logical perspective, does it make sense that my body needs more fuel right now?
If I had a full meal a couple hours ago and I’ve been sitting in my office working since then, it’s very unlikely that my body needs more fuel.
When in doubt, wait it out.
Rate the hunger sensation on a scale of 1-10 and then do something else for 30 minutes. If you’re still thinking about food in 30 minutes, rate your hunger again before deciding if you want to eat.
If eating when you’re truly hungry (and not eating when you aren’t hungry) is something you need to work on, take a listen to these episodes of the Primal Potential podcast for specific strategies on improving your response to hunger and minimizing hunger all together!
Have you ever fallen into the trap of “better”? You know, when your choices aren’t your best but you keep justifying them because they are better than what you used to choose?
You’re still eating ice cream every night, you aren’t making progress, but you feel justified because it’s better than your past binges?
I am all for the pursuit of better…until it becomes the trap of better. I’m all for the pursuit of “better” until it keeps you from identifying and acting upon your best.
The trap of better is what we are talking about today! Don’t miss it!
As I’m writing this, it’s early morning on December 27th & I’ve decided to create 4 great days, starting now.
If you’d rather listen to this post than read it, click here.
The holidays can be tough. Our schedules are off, there are lots of parties and get-togethers, treats, sweets, drinks, leftovers…you name it.
A holiday can turn into weeks or months of over-indulging and not feeling so great.
The good news is – we can create a change right now. We are all just a few great choices away from feeling so much better. That’s why I’m leading the charge with 4 great days.
Of course, you don’t have to do 4 days. You can do 4 great hours. You can do 1 great day. You can do a great week or a great month.
As for me, I’m drawing a line in the sand right now. I have zero guilt about holiday cookies. They were delicious. I’m not trying to make up for them, I’m just trying to make myself feel great today.
I have zero guilt about not getting in the workout I planned to do yesterday. It didn’t happen. I don’t have to make up for it. But I’m ready to make myself feel amazing.
There is a caveat: It’s not enough for me to define what I’ll do and not do, what choices I’ll make and not make. It’s not enough to define a great day and then hope I execute it. It takes more attention & effort than that.
I will write this plan out here and then I’ll keep coming back to it, several times a day, to make sure I’m focused on making the next hour or handful of hours amazing. I’ll focus on just a few hours at a time.
So, for today and the following 3 days, here’s what amazing looks like to me:
Up at 5am
Drink a full glass of water before having any coffee
Journal for 5 minutes before work
Work for 90 minutes without TV on
Workout!
Black coffee only until lunch & 2 liters of water daily
Lunch will be the same for all 4 days for simplicity: cabbage salad bowl
No snacking
Dinner will be noodle-free chicken soup OR meat & veggies depending on how hungry I am
Will I crave sugar? No doubt! I’ve had a fair amount of it over the past few days. But, for the next few days I’m simply not having it.
I’m not negotiating with myself. I’m not making a case for why it’s an okay choice or arguing for doing better on Monday or when the leftovers are gone. I’m creating 4 amazing days now.
When I find myself wanting something sweet or wanting to snack on nuts or bars, I’ll remind myself why I’m doing this. In just a day, I can feel more energetic. I can feel motivated. I can feel leaner. My ring can fit more comfortably. My workouts can feel better. And in 4 days, going into New Years Eve, I can feel pretty dang fantastic after 4 great days.
The simplicity of this structure make it easier and faster for me to make decisions without stories, drama, excuses, delays or justifications.
Your structure might (and probably should) look different. Your timeframe might look different. You get to define what a great day or a great morning, evening or afternoon looks like for you.
But the point is this: we all have the ability to create an amazing day today. We have the ability to feel infinitely better tomorrow, physically & emotionally, by capitalizing on the choices that are opportunities today.
