Jan 24, 2022 | Blog, Podcast
What if, from this point forward, you made consistent progress toward your goals without being held back by excuses, delays or the dreaded self-sabotage? Even if it seems unlikely, or unlike you, it’s absolutely possible. The key is avoiding a few super common mental mistakes that can kill your progress!
We’re diving into them in episode 953 of the Primal Potential podcast, so if this sounds like something you need to focus on, don’t miss the episode!
Mental Mistakes That Will Kill Your Progress
Drama
I know, no one likes to think of themselves as dramatic and you probably don’t think that of all things, drama is what’s holding you back. However, think of drama the way author Cy Wakeman defines it: drama is what you add to the facts.
When I look back at my decades of failed weight loss attempts, I see a lot of drama. If I pledged to eat super clean all day but quickly succumbed to the donuts in the break room I’d think, “What’s wrong with me! Why can’t I just be consistent! I screwed up the whole day!” Drama. The plain fact is that I ate a donut. What I added to the fact was all sorts of emotion, judgement and doomsday-ing.
I hear drama from my clients all the time when they share their own judgement and emotional projection over something that’s really not a big deal at all.
Drama keeps us from moving on to our next best choice. It drains our energy and tricks us into focusing more on the problem than we do on the solution. Sometimes we just need to practice being a bit more rational and emotionally mature. Being objective when you are used to be emotional can change the game completely!
(A big part of drama stems from unrealistic expectations. I dive into that piece in episode 953 so make sure to tune in to the episode for that!)
Drifting
We have a lot of competing priorities and a finite amount of time to give to them. That’s one of the major reasons people drift away from their good intentions, discipline and commitment. It’s not easy to stay engaged but it is possible. It requires that we recognize our tendency to drift and instead choose to remain intentional each day.
We’re not striving to be perfect – there’s no need to execute a perfect 10/10 day, but we do have to stay tethered to what it is we’re trying to achieve.
Personally, the Change Makers Journal is the tool I use to ensure I don’t drift. That doesn’t have to be your tool, but you do need one!
Pretending You Don’t Know
Almost every day, someone in my Primal Potential FB group messages me to share that they ‘just don’t know’. They don’t know where to start, they don’t know how to reach their goal, they don’t know what’s wrong with them or they don’t know how to get unstuck.
More often than not, I respond to these statements the same way. I tell them, “I think you do know. I think you can absolutely tell me one idea for where to start, or one thing you could do to reach your goal or one thing you’re doing that’s getting in your way, etc.”
Every single time – literally every single time – I’ve been right. They do have ideas. They do know improvements they can make. But, this mental mistake of telling ourselves or others that we don’t know…it’s lethal!
It’s a way that we subconsciously let ourselves off the hook. We don’t have to do anything when “we don’t know”, but if we’re begin honest, we ALWAYS know enough to take a single step forward. Every. single. time.
With each and every one of these mental mistakes, and others, we have to slow down enough to allow our higher, more rational thinking to show up to the party.
If you can relate to any of these mental mistakes, make sure you tune in to episode 953 of the Primal Potential podcast!
Jan 17, 2022 | Blog, Podcast
I know so many people who have trouble losing weight. In fact, I’ve been that person! Whether your appetite feels out of control no matter what you do, or if you have crazy-strong cravings or it’s simply that no amount of dieting and exercising seems to do the trick, you’re going to want to read more.
Your cravings are more than habit.
Your appetite isn’t about willpower.
There’s a lot more to your body’s willingness to burn fat than how much you eat and how active you are.
A huge variable is…
Your microbiome.
In episode 951 of the Primal Potential podcast, we’re talking with Dr. Shawn Talbott about the ways the bacteria in and on your body influence your body’s signals to burn fat and store fat as well as their influence on your cravings, appetite and so much more!
Trouble Losing Weight? Here are a few things you need to know!
- Your microbiome influences digestion, fat storage, fat burning, appetite, mood, cravings and more!
- Many stubborn weight issues stem from gut issues
- Intentionally optimizing your microbiome can make a difference even without diet and exercise changes
- Making improvements to your microbiome can lower inflammation in your body which makes fat loss easier (even without diet and exercise)
I totally understand if you’re skeptical and doubt that your microbiome can address your trouble losing weight, but I promise it can! Dr. Shawn and I go into detail in episode 951 so be sure to listen!
Can a Quadbiotic Help?
In the episode, we talk about the role of a quadbiotic. If you haven’t heard that term, it’s because it’s a very new one and refers to a 4-part blend related to microbiome improvements.
- Probiotic: In the episode, we talk about a specific probiotic that lowers inflammation throughout your body, decreasing resistance to fat burning. When there is excess inflammation, it makes your body less likely to burn fat.
- Prebiotic: The prebiotic fiber we discuss helps reduce cravings and moderate appetite
- Phytobiotic: The specific phytobiotic we discuss in episode 951 lowers stress and improves your body’s stress response which aids in fat burning and metabolism
- Postbiotic: This is a “dead” probiotic (therefore a postbiotic) which specifically targets belly fat
If you want to give it a try for yourself, you can check it out here. Be sure to use the code BENTON to save $10 on your first order!
Trust me, you’re going to want to tune in to the full episode because it’s about to make health, metabolism and fat loss make a whole lot more sense to a whole lot more people!
Jan 10, 2022 | Blog, Podcast
We’ve all experienced, I’m sure. You have a clear goal. You know what you need to do to achieve and you’re ready! You’re fired up and determined to make it happen. That is, at least, until your motivation evaporates and you have no idea how to get it back.
I’ve been there. It’s not fun. It’s especially crappy when the ebb and flow of motivation leads to being consistently inconsistent.
In episode 949 of the podcast I’m sharing with you 3 keys to make sure your lack of motivation never gets in your way! This is one you’re going to want to listen to again and again!
3 Keys to Make Sure Lack of Motivation Never Gets In Your Way
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Practice doing it unmotivated
Never forget that motivation is a feeling and no feeling lasts forever. With that in mind, you will become unstoppable if you develop a practice of executing especially when you’re unmotivated. Think about it this way: there are a lot of things you do without motivation. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been motivated to empty the dishwasher or carry out the trash. I do it because I want the result of those things. I do it because I’ve developed a habit out of sheer discipline.
Motivation doesn’t matter if you’re disciplined.
That’s what we’re after. We dive deeper into this in episode 949 with lots of examples, but I want you to seek out those moments when you just don’t feel like doing whatever is aligned with your goal or priority. Don’t feel like working out? Perfect. You need that moment. This is your chance. Be grateful for the opportunity and do the thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s a 10 minute circuit in your living room or if you throw on your sneakers and head to the gym. Be on the lookout for those times when you just aren’t feeling like it…that’s the moment you need in order to become someone who is impervious to any lack of motivation!
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Forget that motivation exists
Sounds weird, I know. Tune in to the episode if you need more on this one. In it, I share how a client once told me that she didn’t feel worthy of losing weight. I asked her, “What does worthiness have to do with it? Why are you even considering worthiness? Do it unworthy.” She brought worthiness into the equation even though it wasn’t serving her.
Whether it’s worthiness, motivation or anything else…if it’s tripping you up, take it out of the equation! It’s a practice, but with some intentionality you can completely eliminate your pattern of considering how motivated you are, or aren’t.
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Take responsibility for your motivation
For those of you who are thinking, “But Elizabeth, I want to feel motivated!” – I’ve got you! This one will literally help you stay motivated. Create a file on your computer or in your phone – a living, breathing file that you continuously add to – of things that motivate you. It could be pictures, quotes, stories, people, podcasts, books or all of the above. I’ve done this in the notes app of my iPhone. While ultimately I prefer discipline to motivation, I like knowing that if I want to feel motivated, it’s just a click or two away. Just the other day some guy motivated the heck out of me via his Instagram post. I took a screen shot and added it to my “motivation” note. I do the same thing if I read something that fires me up. After doing it for a few days or months, you are able to motivate yourself on demand!
If you aren’t sure where to start, head over to the Primal Potential FB group and ask for ideas on pictures, quotes, books or ideas that motivate the other folks in the group! You could have a heck of a start by just asking that question and getting ideas from others!
Don’t forget to tune into episode 949! In fact, it might be something you add to your own collection so you return to it when you’re feeling a lack of motivation!
Jan 3, 2022 | Blog, Podcast
There’s a certain energy that comes with a new year, don’t you think? It seems like focus and drive get bumped up a little bit when January rolls around, at least for a while. If we want to leverage that energy to create change that actually lasts, we have to figure out the ways to stay consistent, otherwise it’s just two steps forward and four steps back.
I spent some time reflecting on what helped me stay consistent in the process of achieving big goals like losing 150 pounds, starting a business and writing two books. And now, as I work towards some new goals, I considered what fuels my consistency and what doesn’t.
In fact, I put together a podcast sharing these keys to consistency so if you haven’t checked out episode 947 of the Primal Potential podcast, you’ll definitely want to do that!
3 Things You Need to Know to Stay Consistent
First, I want to make sure you know the two things that are absolutely required for consistency. While there are a million things you could focus on like motivation or accountability, there are only two things you must have.
- Specificity
- Follow through
Specificity is the one that held me back for years. I was clear on my goals but I never really got specific which meant I wasn’t often taking action.
I’ll give you an example. When I weighed over 350 pounds, there was nothing in the world I wanted more than to lose weight. I thought about it all the time. I knew that I needed to eat better and that it would probably help if I started working out, but more days than not, I made excuses and didn’t do the work. I’d plan out how much weight I could theoretically lose per week and how long it might take to get to my ‘goal weight’, but none of those things created consistency in the habits I’d need to establish for a lifetime of being fit and healthy.
Specificity Is A Superpower
I actually talked about this way back in episode 563 – “Motivation for When You Feel Stuck” and it’s as true now as it was then. It’s something we talk about in this week’s episode, too (947). If you want to stay consistent, you have to focus more on the small picture than you do on the big picture.
I’m currently working on my third book and thinking about things like when it will be done and how much it will take to get there won’t move the needle. Instead, I focus on the small picture: when will I write today and for how long?
As I work on losing weight from my two back-to-back pregnancies, focusing on the small picture and being specific drive my consistency. Each day, I’m writing down the three action steps I’ll take to drive that goal. My action steps today aren’t necessarily the same as my action steps yesterday and they don’t need to be. What drives my consistency is specificity and focusing more on the small picture than I do on the big picture. I use the Change Makers Journal for this specificity of my daily focus. You don’t have to use that, but do have a process for daily specificity!
Follow Through
A lot of us make the mistake of relying on motivation but as hard as it might be, we have to divorce that notion. When you have discipline, motivation doesn’t matter!
What gets in the way of discipline, of course, are our excuses. One of the most important steps we can make to support our follow through, is to develop emotional maturity in our thoughts. Think about it this way: if you know you need to stay consistent in order to make progress, you can’t continue to justify not having time, not being in the mood or pledge to get back on track tomorrow.
In order to decrease the appeal of your excuses, you have to become a more rational, objective thinker.
It’s a practice, and I give a bunch of examples in episode 947.
I am 100% on board for my goals this year, and I’m 100% on board to help you achieve yours, too! Get started by tuning in to episode 947 and if there’s anything I can do to help you, definitely let me know!
Oct 3, 2020 | Blog, Podcast
Hi friends! In today’s new podcast episode, Chris and I are back answering listener questions about consistency, motivation, and how to change your inner dialogue.
Have you ever heard the joke where one fish asks another fish, “How’s the water?” and the other fish replies, “what the heck is water?”
Just like a fish doesn’t recognize water, I think the same thing happens with people and their inner dialogue. Your inner dialogue is always with you. It’s always going, and a lot of people’s inner dialogue sounds like, “I’m so tired. This is so stupid. I’m not dealing with this.” And they wonder why they’re not motivated. Changing your inner dialogue first requires that you pay attention to it, that you practice bringing your awareness to your thoughts, pausing, and analyzing what you are thinking about.
Listen in on the full episode to learn more truths and practices around consistency, motivation, and your inner dialogue. Stay tuned for the end of the episode to find out who won this week’s free giveaway!
4:33 How do you change your inner dialogue?
9:09 How do I move past previous mistakes and current self-doubt to be better able to act on desired change?
11:32 How to get consistent, I’ve lost 60 lbs but have been stalled inconsistency, motivation, and how to get the next 50 off
17:29 How do you stay motivated?
20:37 Once reaching my goal, how do I stay there?
23:16 How do you set up processes to get your brain in line to do what you want to do to reach your goals, things you know are great for you, how do you get your brain on board?
27:54 How do I stay focused when a million things stare me in the face, anxiety overcomes me and I end up doing nothing instead of trying to tackle everything.
33:55 Giveaway
To win next Saturday’s giveaway, leave a review of the Primal Potential podcast on Apple Podcasts, review Chasing Cupcakes on Amazon, or share an episode or lesson that you’ve learned on Instagram or Facebook (be sure to tag me)!
Sep 28, 2020 | Blog, Podcast
Hi friends! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been frustrated with how slowly I felt my progress on my goals was. This was true for me when I was losing weight, getting out of debt, and even back when I was writing Chasing Cupcakes, and my impatience made all of those things take even longer.
I felt like the least consistent person in the world or the most impatient person on earth, but these are skills that I have been able to build!
As CrossFit superstar Mat Fraser says, “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.”
If you pair patience and consistency you will be unstoppable; and you can practice being more patient today. You can practice being more consistent today.
Patience paired with consistency is an unbeatable comb and that is why, for a long time now, I have been really looking forward to sharing today’s message which is inspired by the module on patience from Breaking Barriers, my self-guided e-course which walks you through the process of transforming your mindset to break through the barriers to your goal achievement.
The module on patience that I am drawing from here is especially useful for anybody who is an emotional eater. Listen or read on below!
1:00 Patience Is the Hardest Part of Achievement
Can anyone relate to this? Many, many times, I have taken a hiatus from my self-improvement journey only because I lost patience.
This happened to me countless times in weight loss, writing chasing cupcakes, and when I was getting out of debt. I wanted results faster than they were coming and, somehow, I twisted the logic to think, “I don’t care. I can’t deal with this right now. It’s not going to happen for me.” And, I would stop.
I see a lot of people getting caught in this trap of impatience, where every thought of quitting wastes energy you could be using to make success faster and easier.
If we could just work to become more patient, we would have done the hardest part of achievement. Impatience, getting frustrated, and letting that derail us is what makes it take so long, for getting out of debt, losing weight, starting a business, for everything we want to achieve.
In the words of one of my favorite authors, James Clear, “The most overlooked and under-appreciated growth strategy is patience.”
This idea, right here, can and will change your life and accelerate your results if you turn it into a practice. Progress is a slow-burn. It’s a marathon, it’s not a sprint.
Patience works.
If you just decided that you’re not stopping, no matter what, no matter how hard or easy, no matter how many ups and downs there are. If you only refused to stop trying, you’d eliminate at least 50% of the stuff that messes you up.
Write this down: If I can wake up every single day, deciding to be patient with the process, patient with yourself, it’s going to be easier.
Too often, I am rushing to the next thing. I have had so many thoughts recently that I should be further along, further along with losing my baby weight, further along with writing my next book, further along with my business, but when I take the perspective that I have time, there is no rush. I don’t have to wish away my baby weight. There is no rush to finish renovating my house.
That is patience and that is the most underappreciated and overlooked strategy.
6:01 Patience Isn’t Fixed
All you have to focus on is what you can do today.
Recently, I received an email from someone who says that they are too easily distracted by new tactics, “Maybe I should try this or maybe I should try that. No, I should start with this.”
I think this phenomenon is sometimes a convenient way to distract ourselves or let ourselves off the hook because we don’t have to take action if we tell ourselves we’re planning and figuring it out.
Action is available to all of us. What lies beneath that frenetic energy that sounds like, “What happens next? Why is this taking so long?” is impatience.
Patience isn’t fixed.
You can grow and develop it; you can become more patient. I’m telling you right now, whether your goal is related to finances, health or fitness, the best thing you can learn to develop is your own patience.
If today you decide you’re going to be patient but next week rolls around, you start thinking about months down the line, the holidays, the new year, you’re thinking too far ahead because you are impatient.
If you show up every day and do your best, it will take care of itself.
A lot of people are letting themselves off the hook, thinking “I don’t know if I should do this or that. My schedule is wonky.” We all have the ability, today and every day, to make the choice that is an improvement from yesterday.
For health or fitness, it can be as simple as asking, “What does it look like to take great care of myself today?”
You don’t have to have all of the answers or have everything figured out, you can answer that question and execute on the answer.
11:09 Decide That You Will Never Quit
No matter your goal, if you focus on how fast it’s going to happen, and what happens after that, and what happens after that, and so on, 12 steps ahead, you’re wasting your energy. That energy could be applied to what you need to do today, what you can do today, and what it’s going to take.
Impatience is destructive, distracting, and it becomes a story that you use to let yourself off the hook.
Start by giving energy to what you need to do today.
Embrace this fact: it’s going to take longer than you want it to.
There are going to be days where you want to quit. You will get frustrated and discouraged so if you have it in your mind that quitting is an option, then you are setting yourself up for it to take even longer. Now, if you accept the fact if quitting is not an option, you will know that you will eventually get there. It doesn’t matter what happened last week. It doesn’t matter what you’re afraid of.
You just have to decide that you are never going to quit.
It is going to require patience.
You’ve got to stay focused on what you need to do to develop the skill and pattern of behavior that will carry you there. For all of the drama and consideration of quitting, every ounce of that is energy taken from what you could use to deliver results and make success faster and easier.
14:33 For the Rest of My Life I will Invest in Myself
Before the fall 12 Weeks to Transformation started, someone emailed me saying this was their “last-ditch effort” to lose weight. She shared that she had tried so many things and this was her last attempt.
I was surprised and concerned by that, like, “Really? 12 more weeks and then done for life if you don’t create success?!”
Here’s what helped me when it came to weight loss. I would get very, very frustrated that I was doing so well and yet it doesn’t seem like I was getting results. I felt like I was working so hard and it was going so slow. When I was trying to lose a specific amount of weight, or I was trying to fit into a certain clothing size, if I didn’t lose weight at the pace that I had decided was acceptable, then I was done.
Here is the mindset that I shifted to, I am here to take great care of myself for the rest of my life. That is not contingent on my body composition, the size inside my pants, or the number on the scale. For the rest of my life, I will care about and invest in my health, in my finances, and in my relationships.
That is who and how I choose to be.
I will always come back to that, even if my budget is blown for a year, even if I snap at my husband, even if I miss the gym for a month.
If weight loss comes, great. If weight loss is slow, great. If I reach a weight where I no longer desire weight loss, great.
I want you to embrace that there will be periods of progress and periods without progress. There will be periods where you’re motivated and engaged and periods when you’re not.
16:30 Create a Lifestyle of It
Let’s use the example of money. If you are only a good steward of your finances until you get out of debt then if you feel like something is throwing you off course, or something is slowing you down, you might decide that you won’t bother trying.
On the other hand, if you decide to be financially responsible for life, then it’s not about how quickly or slowly you pay off debt. Sometimes there will be great results, sometimes you will do the work, and sometimes you won’t, but you continue to engage in it.
If you’re only interested in the short-run, to save $1,000 or lose 50 pounds, what happens after you get there? If you don’t have a commitment to that lifestyle, don’t be surprised if you regain the weight, and don’t be surprised when you’re back in debt.
It doesn’t have to be agony. If it does, you’re doing it wrong and you need to change the process. There needs to be joy in the journey or else you won’t stick with it.
Check yourself when you’re feeling frustrated and ask these questions:
If I am in this, committed for life, no matter the outcome, who and how do I want to be?
Am I being patient?
What would it look like to truly have patience in this situation? How would that change my perspective?
Start to audit your thoughts, rationalizations, and look at how patient you really are.
The most overlooked and under-appreciated growth strategy is patience.
What is the key to consistency, results?
Patience.
How do I get out of my own way?
Patience.
Do the work. Stop worrying about what comes next and what it’s going to look like. It’s amazing, taking action feels so much easier when you are no longer dramatic and wasting energy being frustrated.
More on Breaking Barriers
This lesson is a piece of the module on patience from the Breaking Barriers course. Especially for my listeners who were thinking about the 12 Weeks to Transformation but couldn’t swing it financially, this course is a lower-priced option. If you have questions, email the team or send me a DM on Instagram!
Sep 26, 2020 | Blog, Podcast
Hi friends! In today’s new podcast episode, Chris and I are back answering listener questions, including a question about my #1 most recommended daily tool for making change.
Have you ever felt like you don’t really evaluate your decisions until after you’ve made them? Only after you’ve snapped at your kids or devoured a fistful of Oreos do you consider what might have been a better choice? This is where my two simple but powerful tools come in.
Journaling and asking questions help you slow down and be a more deliberate thinker and ultimately a better decision-maker. Both of these tools create the largest ripple effects. Chris and I get into why that is in this episode and how to deal with sugar addiction, willpower, and being content without a relationship.
Stay tuned for the end of the episode to find out who won this week’s free giveaway!
3:55 What is the most action-creating business-mindset advice that you’ve received, something somebody told you and immediately called you into action?
7:40 What small change created the largest impact for yourself or others?
9:58 Which is better to overcome sweets addiction, complete abstinence or restricted but regular consumption?
13:05 What is your #1 recommended tool your recommend to use daily?
16:05 How do you lose weight be mindset alone?
19:45 How can I become more organized and in control of all aspects of my life?
21:52 How can I learn to be content without a relationship?
24:13 Where do I find my willpower?
26:35 Winner of the Saturday Giveaway
To win next Saturday’s giveaway, leave a review of the Primal Potential podcast on Apple Podcasts, review Chasing Cupcakes on Amazon, or share an episode or lesson that you’ve learned on Instagram or Facebook (be sure to tag me)!
To learn more about how I journal, check out podcast episode 796: Manifestation Journaling.
Sep 21, 2020 | Blog, Podcast
Every day I get questions from podcast listeners and one of the biggest misunderstandings that I see is people thinking that it is the changing variables in their life that prevent them from being consistent. That is why I am so excited for you to check out today’s new podcast episode 5 Factors for Success: Being Consistent When Life is Not.
The things that matter most—moving your body, eating well, keeping a budget, being a good parent—don’t rely on consistency in your schedule. So if you blow a tire, or have to pick up the kids from school (maybe kids don’t even go to school anymore!), or got up too late this morning that does not mean that you missed your shot.
Let’s be super clear on that key point: consistency in your habits, your behaviors, and being the kind of person you want to be does not hinge on your having consistency in your day. Now that we have that foundational understanding, these are the 5 factors for consistency. Listen to the episode or read on below.
Why Do you Stay in Prison?
Let me give you a quick back story. A few years ago I weighed over 350 pounds, standing at 5’5” tall. I’m not sure what size I was but I know that US size 22s were too tight so I wore my husband’s elastic-band sweatpants. I was constantly dieting—always. I thought that I had a food problem but what I had was a thinking problem. My food problem was a disguise for my thinking problem. I wanted to be a fit, vibrant, happy person, and I knew that ice cream wasn’t the way to be that person.
My thinking problem also showed up as relationship problems and a hard time making solid friendships. It also showed up as a spending problem. I was earning a decent wage, but living paycheck to paycheck and racking up a mass of debt.
I was over 350 lbs, lonely, and depressed when I found this Rumi quote.
Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?
Reading those words was a shock to me. Why did I stay in prison when the door was so wide open to me? I first incorporated this wisdom in my work life. At the time, I hated my job. Constantly complaining about everything related to work, the tasks, the hours, the colleagues, I wasn’t happy but I also wasn’t willing to take a pay cut. I told myself I was stuck. But nobody forced me to apply for, accept, and work that job. Nobody was forcing me to go in early, stay late, or work on weekends. These were my choices.
Over time, I also realized how much this applied to food. I was miserable. I was obsessed with food, constantly judging everything I ate, planning how much weight I would lose by which month. But I was the one keeping myself in the prison of my misery.
I tell you this because I know what it’s like to stand, knocking at a gate that’s already open. The question is: How do you move forward?
Consistency is a big part of it but knowing what you want to do is not the same thing as being committed to the practice of consistency. Read that again.
Consistency is not a destination that you arrive at. “Whew, I’m here, I’m finally consistent”. No. Consistency is a daily practice that you have to choose again and again and again, moment by moment. So it doesn’t matter if you burnt dinner and have to figure something else out. If your meeting runs late and you have less time for a healthy lunch, that is not a barrier to long-term consistency. We can and need to be consistent regardless of how our day goes.
These are the 5 factors for consistency:
The First Factor of Consistency is Specificity 9:47
Specificity is a huge component of consistency. I’ve seen a lot of people trip up here by being vague and general about what they want to be consistent at doing. It’s almost impossible to hit a target when you don’t really know what that target is. I want to eat better. That’s not specific enough. I want to exercise regularly. Nope, still not specific enough.
Start with this question and write this down (it’s not enough to just do this in your head).
What does it mean to you to be consistent?
Whatever your answer to that question, it’s just the beginning. Be so specific that it’s automatically clear whether or not you’ve done that thing, make it a yes or no. If you say, “Well, I kind of I did that,” that’s not clear enough.
Get even more specific with the following question:
If you were as consistent as you want to be, what would that look like today?
Here are a few examples of what specificity looks like for me:
If I were as consistent as I want to be, my day starts by waking up without an alarm clock, praying before I get out of bed, stretching, and drinking a glass of water before I do anything else. Before work, I journal or meditate. I fix a healthy, filling breakfast that consists mostly of vegetables, some protein, and healthy fats, like my cabbage bowl.
If I were as consistent as I want to be, my workday would already be laid out before it begins, starting with a block of focused, uninterrupted time for writing, followed by my most difficult or pressing task. Social media and checking email comes last.
If I were as consistent as I want to be there would be a 5-mile walk and Crossfit workouts blocked out on my calendar at the beginning of the week to be executed Monday through Friday.
Once you get specific, pick the one you want to start with. I’m not asking you to nail all 72 elements of what you want today. Start with journaling, start by following the golden rules carbs and fat loss, or not hitting snooze in the morning. You don’t have to pick the perfect one. Stop letting the idea of perfection be a barrier. The one you pick is not where you stop, it’s where you start. Write down the one you will start with.
2. Innovation 16:45
After specificity, innovation is the next biggest factor for consistency where so many people go wrong. Innovation means doing things differently. If you’re not already where you want to be then today cannot look like yesterday.
A few weeks ago, I sent out a Daily Mindset Upgrade about the danger of showing up as “yesterday’s woman”. Fundamentally, I have to remind myself of this: if I want different results, I can’t keep showing up as yesterday’s woman.
If yesterday’s version of me hits snooze every morning and I want that to change, then I can’t show up today as who I was yesterday. This shift requires innovation in how you think, how you make excuses, and how you act.
If this seems at odds with consistency, it’s not. Either way, you’re being consistent, maybe you’re just consistent with hitting snooze or eating off of your kid’s plate, but if you don’t like that pattern then you have to invent and reinvent a new way to be, a new way to choose. Innovation is how you show up differently.
Lots of people who desire consistency are showing up, day after day, as yesterday’s version of themselves, same thoughts, same excuses, same choices.
3. Attitude 19:10
The third factor for consistency is your attitude. There is a huge difference between the attitude of creating change and the attitude of judging behavior. This is another area where I see a lot of people struggling. People come to me with an attitude that is negative, cynical, destructive, overwhelmed.
The attitude of creating change says “I’m going to make mistakes, that’s why I’m doing this work. I’m not here to be perfect, i’m here to get a little bit better.” Compare that to a judgemental attitude that says “I blew it. I ate too much. I cheated.”
Instead of aggressively judging behavior with words like good/bad, right/wrong, naughty, cheating. You need to have an attitude of eagerly pursuing change.
This is a mantra that I use all of the time: I have a genuine interest in and desire to change.
I’m not going to get frustrated if I dropped the ball or let myself down because that is a waste of energy. Spending my energy on evaluation of problems, instead of using my energy to embrace the reason I’m here, is a waste. I’m here to create an improvement right now.
This is so different than whining, complaining, or feeling defeated. You’re here to change.
One of my favorite lines from Chasing Cupcakes is I choose to be a creative, energetic problem-solver, not a negative, disappointed, problem dweller. And this all comes down to being in charge of your attitude.
4. Slower Thinking 20:55
The fourth factor for consistency is becoming a slower thinker. Very regularly, I see clients fall into traps they’ve set for themselves because they are sprinting to decisions.
Whether it’s hitting snooze in the morning, snacking through the evening or firing back a response to a text message, thinking happens very fast.
I notice a lot of my clients have this issue after dinner time. They tell me, “It happens automatically, I want a little something to eat, the food goes into my mouth before I even think about it”. But that’s not the full story.
That behavior occurs because you just sprinted to the decision. Slow down. Give your choices some space. Give yourself 5 minutes.
One of the tools I use a lot for consistency is refraining from making a decision while I’m in a negative state of mind. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, stressed, sad, I’m not going to make a decision at that moment. I will take a short walk, read an uplifting book, listen to an upbeat song, and seek out a brighter frame of mind in which to make a decision.
Stop sprinting to decisions when you feel the desire or inclination.
5. Consistency Comes When You Are Fresh in Every Moment 22:03
An absolute requirement for long-term consistency is to develop the ethos that you are fresh in any and every moment.
You are not limited by the way things have been. I don’t care if you’ve been an emotional eater for the last 30 years. Me too! Your past doesn’t limit you; your fixation on it limits you, but you are fresh in every single moment. This is one of the drama-free perspectives that really serves you.
I saw this James Clear quote recently,
Beginner = ignorant simplicity
Intermediate = functional complexity
Advanced = profound simplicity
As a beginner we operate with ignorant simplicity, that can look like all-or-nothing thinking, “I blew it” or “I nailed it”. Beginners dramatically oversimplify in a way that harms us.
As an intermediate, we have a functional complexity, with all of the bells and whistles. This might look like having a rigid plan, intermittent fasting for so many hours, or ongoing debates over which is better, butter or ghee. Here, we’ve moved beyond all-or-nothing thinking but we are making it more complex than it needs to be.
Where I want to help you get to, and where I look to make decisions from, is the advanced level of profound simplicity. For me, this means that every day I’m looking to do a little bit better. Profound but simple: what does it look like today to show up and be consistent? What is one area of my life where I can show up and be consistent?
Don’t need a new plan, you need a new perspective that is free from drama, not fixated on the past and patterns that held you back before. You are fresh in this moment.
This is why I have a coach, for accountability and support. You would never hear Michael Jordan or Serena Williams say, “Why is it that I haven’t gotten to these heights on my own? I’m so ashamed that I need a coach”. No. They are where they are because they have a coach.
It’s not a liability to have a coach, that’s a success hack, a tool. You can totally do it on your own, yes, but does that mean you should?
I am where I am in business because of coaches, who helped me accelerate my progress, avoid costly mistakes, direct my trajectory instead of bumbling around blindly. If I could go back in time and do one thing differently, I would have gotten a coach way sooner. Instead of spending the money on diets or junk on Amazon, I would have invested the money in me way sooner. Maybe I would’ve gotten here eventually but it could’ve taken much, much longer, or I could have encountered deadly mistakes for my business. There’s a difference between knowing and growing and a coach can help bridge that gap.
If you are worried about investing in yourself, what needs to happen so you follow through? If you feel like you’re drifting, we will work through that with you! Registration is now open for the fall session of the 12 Weeks to Transformation and kick-off is September 27th. Some of you have been thinking about the 12 Weeks to Transformation, and the time hasn’t seemed right or the money hasn’t seemed right, and I need to tell you that this fall session is going to be the final 12 Weeks to Transformation, ever.
We can put the struggle behind us once and for all!
To learn more about the 12 Weeks to Transformation visit primalpotential.com/transform.
Sep 19, 2020 | Blog, Podcast
Hi friends! No more standing behind fear and doubt, remaining squarely in your struggle. In today’s new podcast episode Chris and I are answering all your questions about the 12 Weeks to Transformation.
Most of us can relate to committing to a new plan, making progress, and then when things get chaotic or hard, falling off the imaginary “wagon,” drifting away, or simply forgetting what we had planned to do.
This has happened to me more times than I can count. When I weighed over 350 lbs, I tried plan after plan after plan, and inevitably I would find myself drifting and feeling like “I blew it again!’
What I finally figured out, and what I tell my clients, is that even when you think you messed-up and fell off your goals, you just have to get re-engaged. It doesn’t have to be dramatic! Instead of judging the past, ditch the drama and simply re-engage in the present moment. Drama free re-engagement is one massive key to success, and it’s something we practice and revisit every single day in the 12 Weeks to Transformation.
I want to help you move beyond your struggle! For more info on how we work through our fears and doubts in the 12 Weeks to Transformation, listen to today’s new episode of the Primal Potential podcast.
5:53 What is the 12 Weeks to Transformation?
8:59 Who is it the 12 Weeks to Transformation for?
14:09 What if I don’t have weight to lose?
14:50 How much time will I need to commit each week?
17:10 Why is the 12 Weeks to Transformation going away?
19:40 What kind of results do people get?
22:26 I’ve tried everything under the sun, how is the 12 Weeks to Transformation different?
25:20 One of your clients mentioned that her husband wasn’t on board with her doing ‘yet another thing’ and you gave her a template. Can you tell us what you shared with her?
31:50 Winner of the Saturday Giveaway
To win next Saturday’s giveaway, leave a review of the Primal Potential podcast on Apple Podcasts, review Chasing Cupcakes on Amazon, or share an episode or lesson that you’ve learned on Instagram or Facebook (be sure to tag me)!
Registration is now open for the fall 12 Weeks to Transformation. This will be the final 12 Weeks, ever, and spots are filling up fast so make sure you save your space today at primalpotential.com/register.
