Oct 24, 2018 | Blog
Is there something in your life that feels like it’s always an uphill battle? Well, my friend, as much as you might not like to hear this, that’s a wonderful sign that your process needs improvement.
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A recent email from marketing guru Seth Godin got me thinking about this. Here’s what his email said:
A naive dream is that it’s possible to go on a long bike ride–and enjoy the journey going downhill in each direction.
Newton had it right… you’re going to need to go uphill in order to go downhill.
Too often, though, we set up our projects and our freelance life in a way that makes it always an uphill slog. If you don’t build an asset and don’t invest in your reputation, all you’ve got left is grunt work.
The hard work is digging in deeper than usual on the uphills–that’s the best chance you have to earn a downhill later.
At first, I thought about my business. I intentionally differentiate between working in my business and working on my business. Working in my business – checking all the boxes and moving from one task to the next – doesn’t make work easier. It will always be uphill until I create the time to work on my business, developing systems and processes that make things easier. Patterns. Habits. Processes.
The same thing is true in every other area of life.
You can stay very busy trying to eat clean, trying to workout regularly, trying to get enough sleep. If it feels like it’s always an uphill battle and isn’t getting any easier, that’s a red flag that it’s time to establish some routines, efficiencies or habits.
Instead of staying busy and leveraging that white-knuckle willpower, ask yourself what would have to change for it to be easier. Then, get to work on those things.
Oct 22, 2018 | Blog
Think about someone in your life: it can be a colleague, employee, child, friend or spouse. What result would you get if you shamed and blamed them every time they made a choice that didn’t meet your standards?
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Imagine it’s your spouse. If they don’t come home on time, forget to empty the dishwasher or let the car registration expire, what would happen if you scolded them the way you berate yourself? What’s wrong with you? You’re hopeless. You always do this.
Is that the approach you’d take if your goal was to inspire them to show up as the best version of themselves?
I really doubt it.
Why? Because it wouldn’t work.
Using shame and blame as strategies to encourage change is wildly ineffective.
If you took that approach with a child, spouse, colleague or friend, they’d pull away. They would become tentative. They might figure, “Why bother? Nothing is good enough!”
The same thing is true when it comes to the way you communicate with yourself.
Shame and blame aren’t effective strategies. If your goal is to improve your choices and be more consistent in keeping the promises you make to yourself, you can’t continue to beat yourself up. While it’s a common approach, it’s not an effective one.
Instead of beating yourself up, simply ask what you’re able and willing to do TODAY to participate in the solution.
What improvement are you able and willing to make?
You cannot hate your way to a life or a body you love. Stop trying.
Ditch the drama and give your energy to what you can do to participate in the solution instead of crying over the problem.
Oct 19, 2018 | Blog
Yes, there are moments (many millions of moments) when change feels very, very hard. I know. I feel it too. But I need you to know: that’s just a feeling and you can change it. You can make change easier. You can make it easier right now.
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If change feels hard, it’s because you’re talking yourself into what makes it hard. You’re convincing yourself it’s hard. You’ve taken that perspective and continue to build a case for it being hard.
To make that case, you think about your past failures. You focus on all the temptations you must resist. You consider how far you have to go and all the work required to move from where you are to where you want to be.
From that perspective, it definitely appears to be hard!
What that perspective overlooks is the irrefutable fact that change happens one choice at a time. The only time it’s possible to make a choice is in the present moment. You can’t change yesterday’s choices or take action on something in the future. The past and the future have nothing to do with creating change – they can only distract, frustrate and overwhelm you.
One choice at a time.
That’s how change happens.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed or you’re convincing yourself that change feels hard, I want you to shift your attention to this very simple redirect:
Do I have one good choice in me?
What is it?
What’s my next great choice?
What am I able and willing to do today to make progress?
Keep it simple.
Stop convincing yourself that change is hard and start focusing on one small choice you can make now or next.
You are always just a few great choices away from feeling better and all you have to do is execute one at a time.
Oct 16, 2018 | Blog
One of my Master’s Club clients recently recommended Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening and I’ve been reading one passage each day.
In his October 6th entry, he tells a story about a lesson he learned while taking a walk with his 6-year-old godson.
They were standing in an open field when the wind kicked up and the young boy started to run and twirl. With the wind rushing around him, he said, “If you run too fast, you can’t tell what’s real!”
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If you run too fast, you can’t tell what’s real.
To be honest, I think this was a big part of why I struggled with food for so long. I think this – rushing – was a big part of why I chose to binge and overindulge for so long.
I was rushing through my moments, rushing to react to every temptation and thought, rushing through my decisions – I couldn’t tell what was real.
When you’re rushing, you can’t tell that thoughts like, “What’s the point? I don’t even care!” aren’t real. There’s a major point. You do care.
When you’re rushing, you can’t always tell that the “desire” to eat cold leftovers off your child’s plate isn’t real. They’re not even good. They’re not worth it.
When you’re rushing through your email responses or your reactions to your spouse, you can’t always tell what is real. Is this worth being annoyed or hurt? Are you making assumptions? Do you care enough to let it bother you? Is there another way you could see it?
Slow down.
I’m slowing down.
I’m giving myself a bit of a pause before I make food choices.
I’m giving myself a pause when I feel stressed or overwhelmed.
I’m choosing to slow down when my feathers get ruffled.
Why?
Because when you run too fast, you can’t tell what is real.
Try slowing down today.
Oct 15, 2018 | Blog
New England, where I was born and raised, is known throughout the world for it’s brilliant fall foliage. In fact, I’m planning to make some time this week to go for a drive and appreciate how incredible it is.
photo cred: Day Tripper Tours
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Fall has always been my favorite season. I love the cooler temperatures before the cold rolls in. I love football season. As a kid, fall meant apple picking, hay rides and cider donuts. Just thinking about it makes me happy.
A few years ago, I heard a quote from Tiny Buddha that made me love fall even more.
Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go.
The beauty of the leaves turning precedes them dying. Falling. These trees are most beautiful before they are bare. It’s not sad, it’s amazing. And, of course, they return.
I can’t see the vibrant colors on the trees without thinking of that powerful reminder: it can be absolutely beautiful to let things go.
A few days ago, my friend took a road trip to see the leaves changing in New Hampshire. I sent her a voice note to share that quote I love and also to read a passage from The Book of Awakening. I’ll share part of it it with you, too!
I envy the tree, how it reaches but never holds. We can’t stop life from flowing. So we are left with feeling what was and what is, and we call the difference loss. But all the clinging and holding only makes it worse.
Isn’t that gorgeous? What might it look like, in your life, to reach but not hold? What would it look like to acknowledge the change, like the leaves, but not see it as loss? What do you need to let go of?
I talked about this in episode 526 of the podcast. You can go through change and still be happy. Wanting things to be different doesn’t mean you have to be unhappy with the way things are.
Change doesn’t have to mean loss.
Loss doesn’t mean things are worse. If you’re open, they’ll almost certainly get better.
Reach, but don’t hold.
Change is an opportunity.
Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let go.
Oct 11, 2018 | Blog
‘Tis the season, friend! I don’t know about you, but I’ve already created my holiday shopping list! Part of how I minimize stress, eliminate overwhelm and stay within my budget is by making a holiday shopping list and setting a budget for each person on the list. By having that list ahead of time, I can pay attention to when items are on sale or when companies are offering free shipping!
My favorite gifts to give are books! I love to read and get excited to share some of my favorite books with my family and friends. Here are a few books at the top of my gift giving list.
For the positive mindset enthusiast:
Chop Wood Carry Water by Joshua Medcalf
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman
The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
For the business person:
Principles by Ray Dalio
Mastery by Robert Greene
The ONE Thing by Gary Keller & Jay Papasan
The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
For the money-minded:
Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
Poor Charlie’s Almanack by Peter Kaufman and Ed Wexler
The Most Important Thing Illuminated by Howard Marks and Paul Johnson
Any time I can give a gift that brightens someone’s day on an on-going basis, I’m all about that! Hand-painted signs from Seasouled are perfect for this! I bought one for myself that says “Travel Light” and hangs above my kitchen sink. (It used to hang over my front door but I prefer looking at it while I wash dishes and prepare dinner). I also bought one for my family beach house that says “Positive Vibes Only“.
These are gifts that keep on giving!
I’m also a total fan of practical gifts – things I know people can and will use regularly and get lots of value from. That’s exactly why both my mom and my sister will be getting workout clothes from Fabletics! My mom recently started working out at a CrossFit gym and I know she’s been eager to stock up on leggings and sports bras – Fabletics is the way to go! In the past, I’ve been a big fan of Lululemon, Nike & Reebok but Fabletics has the same amazing style and quality for waaaaaaay less money! I took advantage of the 2 for $24 promotion through Fabletics and saved big on leggings and bras! (I picked up a bunch of stuff for myself, too!)
I also gift people with things I love. Here are some random things that will absolutely make my giving list this year:
Glass straws (I use them for coffee every day)
Cute coffee mugs – I might be biased, but this is my absolute favorite and the one I use every day!
Moleskin notebooks – I love these!
How about you? What is something you absolutely LOVE that you’ll be gifting to someone this year?
Oct 10, 2018 | Blog
Last spring, I had a blast spending a relaxing weekend with the Primal Potential Masters Club. One of the fun things we did was a book swap. We each brought a book we loved – fiction or non fiction – and we drew numbers to choose the one we wanted. It was like a Yankee swap, but with our favorite books. For a book nerd like me, it was the best thing ever!
I went home with a book of thoughts and poetry called Heart Talk by Cleo Wade.
One of her short passages about procrastination really inspired me and gave me a new perspective on delay:
Don’t allow the energy of procrastination to create a staleness surrounding your dreams
Think about that. Procrastination isn’t just about waiting. It’s not just about delay and putting things off. Procrastination makes your dreams stale.
Putting off until tomorrow what you could (or should) do today takes the air out of the balloon of your goals and dreams. It extinguishes your enthusiasm and excitement.
Just for today, make no excuses. Don’t put off action towards your goals. Do anything and everything you can in order to move forward.
Procrastination makes your dreams become stale. Don’t wait! Do all you can do today!
Oct 8, 2018 | Blog
Most of you know that I’m a voracious reader and I love to learn about all sorts of topics – nutrition, physiology, endocrinology, language, investing and so much more! After finishing my manuscript at the end of September, I was most excited about having more time to listen to (and read) books!
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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The other day, while listening to a book about real estate investing (a personal passion of mine), I heard something that I was immediately excited to share with you!
Let me set the stage. This guy wanted to get started with real estate investing but he didn’t have any money. In fact, he was struggling to pay his bills each month. One of his biggest bills was his truck payment. He owed more on his fancy truck than it was worth. He decided to sell the truck to reduce his monthly expenses. But…
He didn’t know how to sell a truck he didn’t own (the bank still owned it). In money-speak, he was upside down on the truck. He owed more than he could get for it.
He wanted to do a private sale because he’d get much more money for his truck than if he traded it in. But, he felt stuck because he knew he wouldn’t get what he owed for the truck. Without paying off the loan, he couldn’t get the title. Without getting the title, he couldn’t sell the truck to a private buyer.
He didn’t know what to do, but he didn’t throw his hands up and decide it couldn’t be done. Instead…
He told himself, “I don’t know how to sell this truck when I’m upside down on it, but I know how to vacuum the truck and that’s free.”
He cleaned it out and cleaned it up.
Then he thought, “I don’t know how to sell this truck when I’m upside down on it, but I know how to take some pictures of it and that’s free.” He took the pictures.
Next he thought, “I don’t know how to sell this truck when I’m upside down on it, but I know how to create a Craiglist ad and that’s free.” So, he did.
He proceeded on like that, doing the next small step and not worrying about how to figure it out first.
Sure enough, he learned as he went and he sold the truck.
Trucks and loans aside, his point is much greater than the truck.
You might not know how to lose 40 pounds. That doesn’t matter. You can eat one fat loss friendly meal.
You might not know how to get out of your funk, but you can choose gratitude right now, in this moment.
You don’t have to figure it out. You just have to take the next step.
I didn’t know how to write a book, but I knew how to come up with a list of topics.
I didn’t know how to write a book, but I knew how to summarize the message I wanted to deliver with a book.
You can take your next step, right now. Stop holding yourself back because you don’t know how to complete the 4th, 7th or 200th step.
Stop holding yourself back because you anticipate some future obstacle.
Just do the next thing right now. Vacuum the truck.
Oct 3, 2018 | Blog
If you’ve ever asked, “Is fasting healthy“, you’re probably looking for a definitive “yes” or “no” answer. Anyone who gives you that kind of black or white response is doing you a massive disservice.
The right question is, “Is fasting healthy for you, right now?” and the answer depends on a number of factors including:
- Why are you fasting?
- What benefits are you looking for?
- For how long are you fasting?
- What kind of fasting are you considering?
- What is your mindset about fasting?
- Are you healthy?
- Are you well-rested?
- Do you have a healthy relationship with food?
- Do you have a consistent habit of eating well and using food appropriately?
- Are you on any medications?
- Are you under the care of a health professional?
- How does your body respond to fasting?
- Do you have a healthy response to hunger?
What is fasting?
Abstaining from fuel (energy in the form of calories) for health, spiritual or other personal reasons.
What are the different types of fasts?
We all fast. Between your last meal or snack in evening and your first meal or snack in the morning, you’re fasting! Whether it’s 8, 12 or 16 hours, that is a fast.
When it comes to eating versus fasting, it’s helpful to differentiate between two different states of the body: fasted or fed.
In a fed state, you’re either actively eating or in the post-prandial (after a meal) state where your body is digesting and absorbing what you last ate.
In the fasted state, you are not eating, your body has finished metabolizing the last items you ate, and your body is meeting it’s fuel needs from your fuel reserves (stored fat or stored glycogen).
I go into the different states in more detail in episode 037 of the Primal Potential podcast.
Intermittent fasting: Your overnight fast is an example of an intermittent fast. Intermittent fasts are generally less than 24 hours but please don’t get hung up on definitions. Do what you want to do and don’t worry about how to define it. The semantics don’t really matter.
Modified fasting: fasting mimicking diets fall into the category of modified fasts. In a modified fast, you might consume fuel, but you’re fasting from a certain kind of fuel. Most commonly, you’ll see individuals choose to voluntarily restrict protein for a set period of time to generate hormonal benefits. Or, you can consume only dietary fat for a period of time. This isn’t a true fast, because you’re consuming fuel (maybe from MCT oil), which is why it’s called a modified fast.
Extended fasting: Longer fasts measured in days versus hours. Personally, I have done two 5-day fasts and one 7-day fast. Extended fasting is not the same as starvation and you have a very different hormonal response to true fasting than to a very low calorie starvation diet. I go into the differences in your body’s response in episode 469.
What are the benefits of fasting?
The benefits of fasting depend on factors like the type of fasting, the duration of the fast and the health & mindset of the faster.
With that said, the benefits that are available to you include detoxification, healing, elimination of unhealthy cells, increased energy, decreased inflammation, improved insulin sensitivity, fat burning and much more!
What do people get wrong about fasting?
Primarily, fasting is not the same as crash dieting. Your body will not default to burning muscle. You will not slow your metabolism. For more on these myths and how your body actually responds to fasting, take a listen to episode 469 of the Primal Potential podcast.
Who should fast?
Individuals who have already created a baseline of consistently taking great care of themselves. Individuals who are free from the extremes of dieting and binge eating. Individuals who are open to learning more about their bodies and do not have medical conditions or prescription medications that would interfere with a healthy fast.
Who should not fast?
Anyone who is not yet consistently eating clean. Anyone on prescription medications that need to be taken with food. Type 1 diabetics who aren’t being monitored by a health professional. Anyone with an active eating disorder. Anyone with a crappy attitude. Anyone who is underweight or malnourished. Anyone who doesn’t want to fast!
What about women with thyroid conditions or other hormonal imbalances?
There is no one answer for this, I’m sorry. It’s individual. I am a woman. I have hormonal imbalances including Hashimotos. I find that fasting is wonderful for me. It makes me feel great physically and emotionally. I refuse to believe that any one thing is true for “all” people. There are too many other contributing factors like: your baseline diet. Your body composition. Your stress level.
The first thing I would suggest these women look at is: are you consistently eating well? Are you consistently making great food choices, avoiding processed foods and sugars? Are you consistently giving your body the fuel it needs and not giving your body more fuel than it needs? If not, start there.
I’d also suggest that these women consider: is your stress level managed? Are there things you can do to lower inflammation and reduce physical and emotional stress? Do those things first.
Then, give a 24-hour fast a try. Go into it with a great attitude and see how you feel. Learn from your body, not from someone else’s over-generalization.
Success tips for intermittent fasting:
Drink plenty of water! Prioritze sleep. During your fed periods (meals and snacks) avoid sugar, starch and processed foods. The blood sugar stability you create when you avoid those things will make your fast much easier! Remind yourself that
Success tips for extended fasting:
Get plenty of sleep. Minimize stress. Avoid strenuous workouts. Don’t complain. Don’t panic. Drink plenty of water. Use pink himalayan sea salt in your water or just plain on your tonuge. I go into this more in episode 469 of the Primal Potential podcast.
How do you endure the sensation of hunger?
Patiently. With practice and a healthy mindset. Effective strategies vary from person to person. What helps me might not help you. What helps me is reminding myself that hunger isn’t painful and it’s not permanent. If I overreact in response to hunger, I face a bigger emotional barrier than physical one. I like to ride out the sensation of hunger and see how long it lasts. When doing extended fasts, I’ll sometimes start the timer on my phone to see how long it takes for the sensation to subside. In my most recent 100 hour fast, the longest hunger pang lasted just two minutes and 4 seconds.
Beyond that, make sure you’re consistently eating well prior to the fast. Chronically stable blood sugar makes fasting easier. Drink plenty of water and use pink himalayan sea salt. Again, there is more on that approach in episode 469 of the podcast.
How to break a fast?
Moderately. If you’re thinking about binging before or after a fast, please do not fast. The way someone things about a fast, approaches a fast or ends a fast tells a lot about that person’s readiness for fasting.
If you’ve been doing an extended fast (longer than a day or two), let your body warm up. Break your fast with something simple like a little bone broth. Give it a few hours and then have something light.
Options to consider include: half an avocado, chicken soup or a handful of nuts. There’s no need to rush into it!
What not to do when you’re fasting:
Don’t panic or complain. You chose to do this, you can choose not to. You’re not a victim of your choice.
Don’t drink too much coffee. I’m a huge coffee fan and inadvertently consumed a ton of coffee during my first fast and felt super wired. Stick to 2-3 cups. Don’t overdo it!
Don’t exhaust yourself. Prioritize sleep!
Should you workout during a fast?
This is another one of those questions that doesn’t have a universal “yes” or “no”. This depends on you. It depends on why you’re fasting, for how long you’re fasting and how you feel. For example, if you’re fasting for healing or reducing inflammation, I’d encourage you to let your body rest. Skip the workouts and truly let your body pour it’s resources into healing. However, if you’re doing intermittent fasting, you’re probably just fine to workout. Look to find the answer that is true for you today, not the answer that is true in theory always. You’ll never find the latter.
My experience with fasting:
Episode 469: Is Extended Fasting Healthy
Episode 037: Intermittent Fasting & Overfeeding
Episode 307: Is Fasting Right For You?
Episode 310: 5 Things I Learned During My 5-Day Fast
Fasting Resources:
Chris Kresser on the Fasting Mimicking Diet
The Complete Guide To Fasting
