The other morning I got a text message from a client. She shared that she gets super annoyed with herself when she has to journal a choice she isn’t proud of. She added “I think that’s how you feel, too.”
What she meant is, she thinks I get annoyed by her choices. She’s said similar things before – telling me how I feel about her choices. I remind her that she’s making assumptions & her assumptions are wrong.
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We then had a conversation about what she thinks people are thinking are her choices. If she indulges, they’re probably thinking this. If she doesn’t indulge, they’re probably thinking that.
Assumptions. Stories. Illusions.
More often than not, these assumptions are based on our own thoughts & fears, not really on what other people are thinking. We’re projecting our own drama, negativity or assumptions onto others. No bueno.
That’s a lot of energy spent on thought – especially thoughts that aren’t your own! It’s a pretty dangerous (and pointless) game.
First: Stop making assumptions, especially about what other people are thinking or feeling.
Second: Don’t draw conclusions from illusions.
…
I didn’t workout today. I’m sore & decided to break up 6 workouts with a rest day in the middle instead of at the end. I usually rest at the end but I don’t usually take nearly a week off due to a medical procedure.
I did, however, walk to and from the library a couple times to get moving and enjoy the beautiful fall weather.
On the food front:
I sipped on bulletproof coffee while working thoughout the morning. I love coffee. It makes me happy.
Then I carried some coffee & a packet of coconut butter with me to the library.
Coconut butter packets are my favorite when I’m out of the house & feeling hungry.*
Before my massage I got a salad from Chipotle Mexican Grill: lettuce, chicken, guacamole & sour cream.
For dinner I had the last of the chicken soup.
Make it a great day!
In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.
It’s about damn time everyone stops with the spoken & unspoken commentary about what other people are eating. It is none of your business.*
Whether you think they eat a lot, a little, high quality, low quality or no quality: it’s not your business.
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Have you ever made a food choice based on what others might think of you? Maybe you eat the chocolate when no one is looking because you don’t want them to see you indulge. Or, maybe you skip the bread on the table because they think you’re trying to be “good”.
That’s a symptom of this problem. And here’s what’s usually true: the people who fear being judged are guilty of judging other people.
Since they’re thinking about what others are eating or not eating, they assume others are thinking about them in the same way.
How about we all stop? Like, right now, today.
Here’s a common example: a woman is self-conscious about her weight. She’s trying to lose weight and sometimes eats in secret to avoid other people seeing her indulge. She’s “good” when others are watching and sneaks all her treats in private.
This same woman judges what her spouse or partner eats, how much & when.
Time out!
We can all agree that it feels awful to think that someone might be judging us. Why inflict that on someone else?
Stop!
Those of you who fear judgement: who are you judging?
Stop. It is simply none of your business. Stay in your lane.
It doesn’t matter what they order or how much they eat of it. It doesn’t matter how quickly they turn to a snack after a meal. Why do you care to make a point about how they eat like a bird? Or a horse?
How about your turn that attention right where it belongs: on what you’re doing.
When I’m with someone and they comment on what or how much someone is eating, I immediately lose trust because they surely have those thoughts about me & other people.
That’s not cool. I don’t want people in my circle who are judging what I’m eating. That’s my business and mine alone.
I was with someone the other day who commented on how many slices of pizza someone ate.
Really? That’s how you’re spending your energy & attention.
Stay in your lane. Mind your own business.
I think we all have plenty to handle by focusing on what we are eating.
In my own life, I have no tolerance for those kinds of comments & remarks.
Mind your own business.
…
Alright, after a few deep breaths I’m happy to tell you about today’s workout. It was a tough one, for sure! The Overhead Squats get heavier each round. I’ll feel them tomorrow, for sure!
“Freedom Sauce”
AMRAP 3
21 Overhead Squats (95/65)
21 Burpee Over the Erg
Max Calorie Row Rest 3:00
AMRAP 3
18 Overhead Squats (115/80)
18 Burpee Over the Erg
Max Calorie Row Rest 3:00
AMRAP 3
15 Overhead Squats (135/95)
15 Burpee Over the Erg
Max Calorie Row Rest 3:00
AMRAP 3
12 Overhead Squats (155/105)
12 Burpee Over the Erg
Max Calorie Row
Those burpees over the erg…Yikes. I was sucking wind in a major way! I had infinitely more energy after the workout was over, though! So nice to be back in my routine!
On the food front:
I had a cup of bulletproof coffee before my workout and brought a big bowl of chicken soup to Starbucks with me. I worked from Starbucks for most of the morning and stopped around 11am for some soup.
I had dinner planned with some family in the evening & had a large salad with steak.
Next time you’re out to eat (or next time you’re around anyone eating), remind yourself that their choices are absolutely none of your business.
*Obviously if you’re a parent of a small child, you are determining what they eat so it’s your business. I think we all know that’s not what I’m talking about. 🙂
If I defined myself by my past choices & patterns of behavior, it would go like this:
I’m fat. I’m inconsistent. I don’t follow through. I’m an emotional eater. Once I start eating sugar, I just can’t stop. I’m pretty good at losing weight but terrible at keeping it off. I can be disciplined for a few days or even a few weeks, but I inevitably go back to my old behaviors. I’m stuck in a viscious, exhausting cycle.
That’s a pretty depressing view of myself. It’s true, but it’s true of my past not my present. In the present, I’m free to choose differently. That’s how I create change. By dropping the habit of defining myself & my present capabilities by my past patterns & choices. By taking full advantage of the newness of each moment.
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There’s a huge difference between your past choices and your present identity & capability. You are not your choices.
Your past doesn’t limit your present. You are fresh in each moment & the only way your past follows you into this present moment is if you choose it.
You don’t have to. Every choice is a totally blank slate.
I’ll add to it: quit letting who you were talk you out of who you can be today. Of the change you can create today.
Stop defining yourself by your past. Stop projecting your past onto your present & future. Stop limiting yourself with your history.
If you want to keep making those choices, okay.
But at least own the fact that you don’t have to. You are free to act differently today and any day.
….
I am beyond pumped to say that I made it back to the gym today! I’m not going to get into the challenges of the weekend recovery, but I’m finally feeling a little better and I was determined to get in my normal workout.
I’ll be honest: when I woke up this morning I did not want to workout. I went through the mental gymnastics of talking myself out of it but ultimately, I knew I’d feel better if I went, so I did.
The workout was totally in my wheelhouse with lots of deadlifts.
Deadlift
Build to Heavy Set of 5
followed by…
“Flat Tire”
On the Minute x 12 (4 Rounds)
10 Deadlifts (185/135)
20 AbMat Sit-Ups
Max Calorie Bike
I planned to just ease into it but my body felt pretty good pushing at about a level 7 effort. I definitely feel better!
On the food front:
It’s a chicken soup day. And yes, that’s it. I don’t want to introduce anything else to my body right yet so I’m just turning to chicken soup whenever I feel hungry & drinking plenty of water. No rice or noodles in the chicken soup, of course.
My mom made me a bunch of chicken soup before my procedure and I’ve been making it last by adding bone broth to it (I prefer my soup to be mostly broth with just a little chicken & veggies).
Plus, bone broth is awesome for recovery & healing, which I need lots of!
In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.
In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.
We work ourselves up over nearly everything – losing our keys, sitting in traffic, facing temptation, the meaning behind the words of a stranger or acquaintence – we’ve lost the value of calm.
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I’m a big fan of Stoic philosophy & Marcus Aurelius is one of my favorite stoics. He writes,
“The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.”
This is so true. We waste both time & energy when we aren’t calm.
What pushes your buttons? How can you improve your response to those things? How can you change your perspective? Changing your perspective on the things that frustrate you is incredibly powerful!
After all, a calm mind is a strong mind!
Traffic used to frustrate me until I changed my perspective to one of gratitude: I am safe in my car. I’m grateful to be safe in my car. Not everyone today will be safe in their car but right now, I am. I’ll happily sit here in traffic because what really matters is that I’m safe.
Rude emails used to frustrate me until I changed my perspective: this person decided to email me. They gave me a chance to clear up a misunderstanding or address misinformation. Sure, I don’t love the style of communication they chose but it’s so much better than them not emailing me and not giving me the opportunity to make a connection or clear things up.
How can you practice having a calm mind today? It’s one of the best ways we can improve our choices, focus on solutions and live happier lives!
…
My egg retrieval is tomorrow. I’m maxed out on hormones. I’m taking it easy today but after getting up early and pounding through my work, I decided to enjoy the beautiful day with a long walk.
I’m so excited to get back into the gym next week, but for right now, this is totally okay.
On the food front:
You know the deal with general anesthesia – I can’t eat after a certain point today in preparation for tomorrow’s procedure.
I wanted to give my body the very best possible fuel today because I know it’s going through a lot right now. Hormonal experiences are REAL!
Early in the morning I snacked on some macadamia nuts I had left out last night. I’m fairly picky about macadamias (some are so bland!) but I’m loving the ones I got from Thrive Market (especially because they’re so much cheaper than what I’d pay at Whole Foods!)
Around 11am I had my cabbage salad bowl with cabbage, bacon, eggs, walnuts & Primal Kitchen Chipotle Lime Mayo.
Throughout the early afternoon I sipped on a mug of chicken soup (no noodles or rice) until I had to stop eating for the day.
