Year of Push 2.12 Vomit (and also: Am I A Hypocrite?)

by | Apr 18, 2017 | Blog

Helluva title, eh? I’m gonna make you wait a couple minutes for the vomit story…

Let’s start with, “Am I a hypocrite?”

In yesterday’s daily recap, I shared that I went away for the weekend and enjoyed a few drinks, a piece of chocolate & a burger.

I talked in the post about food guilt and how I have zero guilt or shame about what I ate nor do I feel the need to “make up for it”. They were choices I feel good about, and I’ll continue making choices I feel good about, that are more aligned with my goals, now that I’m home from my mini vacation.

A gentleman reader commented on the post:

It begs the question: am I a hypocrite?


There was zero rationalization in that post. Pure ownership without guilt.

By “a podcaster”, he means me, and he’s referring to a podcast episode when I recently shared that I wouldn’t enjoy a sushi date more if it included wine. I still feel that way.

Suggesting that adding wine wouldn’t increase my enjoyment isn’t “code” for “Indulging is never okay and never worth it”. 

There’s a reason I’m choosing to elaborate on this interaction: I think it’s a tremendous opportunity for perspective adjustment about food guilt & indulging. 

While I don’t feel the need to defend my choices (I choose to share them with you guys), I do think that food guilt & indulging is a complex issue that challenges many people. Hopefully this deeper dive will be a valuable tool. 

Let me be super clear:

Yes, this is a year of push for me.

That does not mean I intend to go a whole year without having a drink or a piece of chocolate or a burger.

Is that an option? Sure. But it’s not the path I choose for myself.

If someone chooses zero indulgences for the duration of their journey, kudos! Seriously – I think that’s fantastic!

It’s just not the path I choose for myself.

I choose to indulge when it’s worth it and pass when it’s not.

This is something I evaluate on a daily basis. Most days, the indulgences available to me aren’t worth it.

The case I was making on the podcast in question is that certain indulgences simply aren’t worth it when you’re pursuing a goal.

I was encouraging myself to not trade progress for the daily, average indulgences.

At the same time, if you go on vacation (as I was this past weekend) and there’s an opportunity for a special indulgence that feels worth it, I’m all about it.

For me, I want to indulge in a way that I don’t feel like I overdid it.

Indulging past the point of enjoyment & into a place of regret immediately makes the indulgence not worth it (for me).

I think that might be the nuance he overlooked. But who knows.

Indulgences used to make me feel guilty. I’d go waaaaay overboard and one drink would leave me saying, “ah, what the heck, let’s go crazy today and make up for it tomorrow”.

One square of chocolate would turn into a pint of ice cream and a pizza. 

A huge part of the reason that I don’t feel guilty is because when I choose to indulge now, it’s within reason, it doesn’t slide into regret or feeling gross and it’s something that, to me, is worth it.

“Worth it” means different things to different people.

For me personally, some things that aren’t worth it include:

  • Bread at 99.9% of restaurants (pre-dinner bread, buns, rolls, etc)
  • Processed snacks from the grocery store
  • Pints of ice cream I’ve had a million times before (and diet ice cream)
  • Alcohol when I’m alone or any alcohol that I don’t totally love (a generic cocktail even with great company)

That’s just naming a few things that aren’t worth it. Surely there are more.

The indulgences I chose while away last weekend were worth it.

  • A few pieces of fruit from an amazing charcuterie plate
  • A small piece of chocolate
  • Craft cocktails off a new menu

A big part of the reason I’m proud of my choices and not feeling guilty is because of what I didn’t choose to indulge in.

For example, when out for breakfast, I still ordered my black coffee or espresso and an omelet.

Did I consider pancakes and a blood mary or cocktail? Sure.

Were they worth it? No.

Would they make me feel my best? No.

Did I consider a fried fish platter at the ocean front restaurant? Yup.

Did I order it? No, because it wouldn’t make me feel my best.

I want to choose the indulgences that are totally worth it AND don’t leave me feeling heavy, tired or disappointed.

Part of this is knowing when I’ve had enough. I left a glass of red wine half finished.

Why? Because it was great, I enjoyed it tremendously, but I recognized that the 2nd half of the glass wouldn’t taste any better than the first half.

I’m proud of those choices, not feeling guilty at all.

This particular reader (same one as above), thinks otherwise.

It’s totally okay that he thinks I feel a little guilt and am punishing myself.

Not the case. Proud.

Enough about that.

Today’s workout was fun!

18 Power Snatch (95/65)
18 Burpee Pull-ups
Max Calorie Row
Rest 4:00
15 Power Snatch (115/80)
15 Burpee Pull-ups
Max Calorie Row
Rest 4:00
12 Power Snatch (135/95)
12 Burpee Pull-ups
Max Calorie Row

Let me explain the workout for those who are curious. It’s basically 3 short workouts with 4 minute rests between each one.

So, in 4 minutes, you do 18 power snatches, 18 burpee pull-ups and as many calories as you can possibly row.

Then you rest for 4 minutes and hit the next segment before resting another 4 minutes and then doing it a final time.

It felt so good to move a bit of weight!!

After the gym I went over to a blood drive. You guys know that though I fear needles, I believe strongly in donating blood as soon as I’m eligible, which is every 56 days.

Please, if you’re able, donate blood.

I mean, it’s tax day. The government took my money I figure I might as well give the Red Cross my blood today, too. Turns out I left a little extra donation for the library as well… :-/

Next year I might also schedule a clothing drop off & chop off my hair for Locks of Love.

Or maybe I’ll rob a bank. That seems more logical…

Anyways. Tax Day. Blood donation….

(Yeah, we’re coming up to the vomit part of the story…)

I never look happy when I’m at a blood drive. I’m grateful to be well enough to donate but I have a MAJOR fear of needles. So when they ask if I’m okay, I answer with a smile, “Yup, just scared of needles”.

I hopped on the table and do my thing. No problems at all.

Iron was normal. Temp normal. BP normal for me (112/74).

Blood flowing like normal – around 5 minutes to fill, so I’m clearly not dehydrated.

As they prepare to take the needle out of my arm, the nurse says, “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look good.”

In fairness, I had my arm draped over my head but that’s only to avoid seeing the needle & the blood.

“Yup, I’m fine, just scared of needles so I look away”

She instructs me to wait a few more minutes on the table and I do.

When she appears to be distracted with another generous donor, I slide off the table and head to the door.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yes, thank you!”

“I need you to stay for 15 minutes and have some juice & cookies”

“I don’t do juice & cookies” (It’s true, I’ve never had the juice or the cookies. Just water.

“Okay, you don’t need to eat but you have to sit for a few more minutes”.

My butt barely touches the chair before I…

Projectile vomit all over the library wall. 

WTF? Did that just happen? By the horrified faces all around me, yep, sure did.

I called my mom after the vomit nightmare and she said, “Do you have any plans for the rest of the day or can you take it easy?”

I had just finished telling her about the vomit and about 20 other things that went dramatically wrong today (I spared you those, you’re welcome) so I said, “You know, I think I should sit in my closet, not touch anything and come out tomorrow for a fresh start”.

So if you email me today, please be patient. I’m gonna try again tomorrow.

On the food front:

It’s Paleo Power Meals delivery day! Yay!!

After my workout I enjoyed their coconut crusted chicken strips (before giving blood). I thought about having a salad along side them but I just wasn’t hungry after the chicken.

coconut crusted chicken fingers

coconut crusted chicken fingers

Does the above meal still count since I donated it to the library? #youarewelcome #noreallysorryaboutthat

I had chicken soup for dinner, minus the noodles (I just wrote needles instead of noodles…)

I planned a much fuller, more delicious dinner but I dunno what the heck is up with me today.


If you give Paleo Power Meals a try, make sure to use the coupon code ebprimal20 to save 20% on your first order!

PS: If you’re new to these posts, listen to this podcast episode to get the scoop on what changes I’m making in my life and you can start back at my first daily post here.

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