A misunderstanding has the power to ruin your day. They’re one of the primary drivers of stress, drama and unhappiness (not just at home, but in all walks of life). In theory, overcoming all this is easy, as it involves YOU listening to the other person…
In reality this is hard, and requires a lot of practice and intentionality!
In today’s episode I discuss how to do this, sharing four techniques you can use to minimize the misunderstandings you have with other people (and yourself). If you find yourself wondering how an argument snowballed and began in the first place… this episode is for you.
I’ve written an article that accompanies this, so please read, listen (or both) to ensure you don’t have to suffer with the negative drain misunderstandings have (and on those you care about the most).
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
How to get your own questions answered in a future episode of the Primal Potential podcast
The dangers of misunderstandings, and the impact they have not just between you and other people, but you and your own internal struggles
About a recent misunderstanding I had with a contractor, and how it inspired this episode
The 4 approaches to minimize misunderstandings, and how to turn the situation from a negative into a positive (full of lessons and growth)
How minimizing misunderstandings doesn’t only create less stress, but improves the quality of your relationships (and life as a whole)
How to manage internal misunderstandings, and the four aspects that often cloud your judgment (that can lead you to miss out on transformational opportunities)
The questions you need to ask yourself in the moment to halt these four destructive patterns
How to train yourself to do all this, and how you don’t have to wait for your next disagreement to put these steps into practice.
He tilted his head to one side and sighed… “all I ever hear from you is that this project is never going fast enough,” he said.
My first reaction to this? Woah!
I stood there, frustrated. I could feel it as my fingers bunched together tighter in my palms.
I have never said that, I thought.
Who does this guy think he is?
He’s wrong, and I can’t let him think he’s right about this…
I’ll be honest, had this conversation took place a few years ago, those thoughts wouldn’t have remained inside my head. But I’ve learned a lot about myself in recent years, and one of the most important is how to better manage misunderstandings.
Which this clearly was.
How This Misunderstanding Began in The First Place…
To give you some context, this conversation took place between me, my contractor and foreman. As you may know, we’re having our home renovated. A lot goes into this, and there are a lot of moving pieces.
My role is to project manage these, and I recently noticed some changes I hadn’t signed off.
Changes the engineer hadn’t approved, nor the town…
So, I sent a text asking my contractor the reasons why, and also asking to be informed before any future changes are made. As I sent this text, I felt totally within my right and didn’t imagine anything further.
“I think we need to meet in person,” he replied.
The next morning we did, which is when the conversation above took place.
The 4 Techniques to Minimize Misunderstanding
I hadn’t said anything about the project being behind, or that I was unhappy.
However, I clearly must have inferred this at some point for my contractor to feel this way.
I thought one thing…
He had thought another…
And both are valid. What we deem true is often subjective, as we only know what goes on in our own head. We get half of the story, which is where misunderstandings begin.
You don’t need me to tell you how destructive these can be.
I imagine you’ve had arguments with your partner (or someone at work), only to step back later and wonder: how did everything spiral out of control like that?
The reason is nobody took control of the situation and tried to gain understanding from the misunderstanding. Without this, misunderstandings lead to truly negative situations. Yet with this, a misunderstanding is a wonderful opportunity to gain greater insight.
Which I’m happy to say happened this time, between my contractor and I.
This is why…
1: Make it a Priority to Understand Where The Other Person is Coming From
You know how you feel. You know what you meant when you said that thing or sent that email…
However, you have no idea what the other person feels.
Make it a priority to figure this out. Take focus away from you, and place it on to them. Ideally, both parties do this, but so long as one does, a misunderstanding is quickly understood.
You can’t rely on the other person doing it, so take control of the moment and listen to them.
After I took a few breaths, I asked my contractor questions.
What did I do or say that made you feel this way?
Is there a situation that took place that made you feel I was unhappy?
I quickly learned that he inferred certain things into what I said and actions I took. Did I feel this way, and did I mean for it to come across like that? No. It doesn’t matter. He felt this way. It was true for him.
Learn what’s true for the other person, and you’ll quickly diffuse the situation.
2: Choose a Perspective of Getting it Right Instead of Being Right
In situations like these you often make it worse by focussing on being right, rather than finding the right solution.
Old me would have focussed on this. I’d have hit back straight away in a bid to prove myself right (and therefore, prove him wrong). There’s an important question to ask here, though…
Why? Why is being right important to me?
It isn’t. A boost to your ego, sure… but being right is a lonely place. It doesn’t deliver a solution, and it doesn’t help you (nor the other person) grow. Often, it leads to resentment and further misunderstanding.
So instead of being right, focus all your attention into getting it right.
Once I listened to my contractor, I drew a line in the sand so we could focus on the right solution moving forward. Not only did it alleviate any conflict, but it helped us save a lot of time and money.
3: Own Where YOU Could Have Done Things Differently
The misunderstanding doesn’t end when you walk away from the conversation.
Unless you learn, you’ll likely end up back in the same place further down the line.
Oftentimes this is because you continue to focus on what the other person did wrong.
You’re mad at them. You’re frustrated. You want them to own their part of it.
You DO NOT get to control any of this.
You do, on the other hand, get to control you.
What could you have done differently?
What can you do better in the future?
How could you have minimized the misunderstanding in the first place?
I walked away from my contractor wondering how I could better manage this project. I realized I could communicate better and be more clear when I do. It’s not only minimized that particular misunderstanding, but it’s made our working relationship much better since.
4: Practice Becoming an Expert in Your Ability to Differentiate Between What Actually Happened and How You Feel About What Happened
You don’t have to wait for your next misunderstanding to practice this one.
The next time you read an email and read something into it, stop yourself…
The next time your partner comes home and seems a little off, stop yourself…
The next time you make an assumption toward someone or something, stop yourself…
What do you know? What is factual, and what is a story you made up in your head?
Do you know what the other person means or feels, or are you simply reading into it?
Facts and feelings are different.
Yet we often allow our feelings to rule what we do and how we think. We give everything meaning, and build stories around each piece of life. A lot of the time, these stories are not true.
They breed misunderstanding, and you can actively choose to stop this each and every day.
How To Manage Internal Misunderstandings
These four techniques help you minimize and manage misunderstandings with other people, but often the most damaging misunderstandings are the ones that happen within.
The beliefs we form…
The stories we create…
The excuses we make…
Learning how to manage your internal misunderstandings not only minimizes the ones you have with other people, but it sets you free and releases so much overwhelm and uncertainty.
I talk about how to manage your internal misunderstandings in the podcast episode that accompanies this article. If you’ve taken value from what you’ve read, I encourage you to listen to it in full.
Not only does it provide greater context into the misunderstanding with my contractor, but dives deep into those internal misunderstandings we have with ourselves (the most damaging of all).
Thanks for reading. I encourage you to listen to the episode of the Primal Potential podcast that accompanies this in full, as it walks you through how to manage your internal misunderstandings.
I cannot overestimate how powerful learning this is. Once I did, it changed how I not only communicate with others, but how I figure out the right decisions to make each and every day.
It’s fascinating how it works, and I’m excited to explore it with you in today’s latest episode ⇒
Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions about misunderstandings (either with other people, or those you have with yourself), add them in the comments below.
And don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media.
How can you transform a relationship for the sake of accountability? That’s what one listener is asking on today’s Q&A!
We absolutely love listener questions and today we’re tackling a bunch of them! If you have questions for the Saturday show, you can submit them here!
I’ve really been enjoying bulletproof coffee. However, the last couple of days it seems to be upsetting my stomach. Any idea why?
I understand the value of like-minded people but those closest to me are my partner and my best friend. How can I transform these relationships to help hold me accountable?
What is the starting point for someone completely hopeless and paralyzed on his/her health goals and still refuses to seek help?
I just recently got dumped by my back up guy. I know that sounds harsh – long story, even longer drama which I will spare you. My question is after two months I still think about him all the time and I read his letter that he wrote. Yesterday your YouTube question about rereading the old chapter hit me in the face. I want to move on so badly. Am I failing because he still pops into my head?
How do I stop beating myself up for failures and start celebrating small wins?
Today’s episode is brought to you by Four Sigmatic. You can check out my favorite picks AND get additional savings by shopping through this link.
We are officially past the halfway point of this pregnancy! Woohoo! So much has happened in the last few weeks and I’m excited to give you an update!
About a month ago, I started feeling subtle baby movements – tiny little flutters that I could almost mistake as gas or muscle twitches. I had been so excited to feel movement and remember thinking, “I’ll worry so much less when I start to feel her move.”
Those future markers are never what I think they will be! Feeling her move came with heightened nervousness when I didn’t feel her move!
A couple weeks ago, a few days went by without feeling any movement from baby girl. Though movement had been daily, I reminded myself not to worry because it was still early for movement and far too early for things like kick counts.
Then, I started cramping. For several hours, I had intense cramps – they weren’t so bad that I had to stop working or lay down, but they were alarmingand I decided to call the doctor. They decided to have me come in for a urine sample and a fetal heart check. Sometimes cramping can come from a urinary tract infection (UTI) so they wanted to rule that out.
Fetal heart check was fine. Baby’s heartbeat was healthy & strong. I felt so relieved.
Because of the cramping, they decided to do a manual cervical check…holy moly was that more uncomfortable than I thought it would be! Pap smears don’t really bother me but this was something way more intense! My doctor explained that the cervix is significantly more sensitive during pregnancy. Everything seemed normal (except my pain tolerance!)
To air on the side of caution, they wanted to look at just one more thing – the length of my cervix – to make sure it wasn’t prematurely shortening. Basically, if you think of your uterus like an empty balloon…the balloon has a long neck when it’s empty and as it gets more full, the neck shortens. You know how it’s hard to tie it off if you inflate it too much? Same concept. It’s too early in the pregnancy for the cervix to be shortening.
The ultrasound seemed normal in that regard but they were a little concerned about the placement of my placenta. They said it was closer to my cervix than they wanted it to be. Later in pregnancy, that could post a risk of bleeding for me and baby so we agreed to keep an eye on it and they suggested “cervical rest”. I’m still unclear on what that means beyond “no sex”.
While checking on the length of my cervix, they also checked on baby. She looked healthy and strong! However, she looking like she was doing an Irish jig right on top of my cervix! She kept crossing, uncrossing and recrossing her tiny little ankles right above my cervix. As she did, you could see my cervix contracting, which was likely the cause of my cramping.
Ultimately, they sent me home and said we’d take another look the following week at my scheduled ultrasound.
Meanwhile, I’ve noticed some pregnancy related changes!
Weight gain – everywhere!
Increased hunger. I’m basically down for 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches and a big dinner. Ha! True story!
Round ligament pain, especially at night.
The return of nausea. Yeah, it’s back. If I start to get hungry, I feel sick. Most times, I also feel sick after I eat.
Less sleep. I hadn’t been sleeping well in general but it’s definitely worse now.
Movement! The movement returned and is more consistent and pronounced, especially after I eat and when I lay down at night.
Let’s talk frankly about the weight gain, shall we?
Prior to getting pregnant, I thought I’d be this clean-eating, CrossFitting pregnant woman, much like my non-pregnant self. I envisioned changes in my body but I didn’t envision major changes in my lifestyle.
Hahahahahahaha. We plan, God laughs.
In fairness, I’m not eating terribly, but I’m definitely not living up to my previous definition of clean eating. Veggies are basically intolerable. Chicken is the only protein I can stomach and it can’t be plain. Chicken tenders are my form of choice. Does that even count? I’m saying, “yes!”
Carbs settle my stomach. Pasta. Crackers. Bread. I had some graham crackers today and they were simply PERFECT.
Some “healthier” items are still in play. I love apples and crave them constantly, but, they give me diarrhea. 🤷🏻♀️I had a bunch of carrots last night and…you guessed it. Diarrhea.
So, what do you get when you combine eating more (I’m always hungry now), eating less clean, exercising less and growing a human under very stressful conditions?
Weight gain! Everywhere!
Watching this slow weight creep, I’ve had many moments of feeling disappointed in myself and almost as many moments of simply not giving a shit.
After bouncing back and forth with my thoughts and feelings about it, I decided to sit down and really get into my heart and my best self about it. Instead of just riding the roller coaster of emotions and letting it control my mood, I decided to take control back.
As I usually do, I began with questions:
What is the thing that bothers me most about the weight gain? What is it that makes me most uncomfortable or anxious about getting bigger?
Fear of judgement from others.
That’s the God’s honest truth. If no one else existed, I’d be fine with it. I’d have total peace with eating what feels good and avoiding what doesn’t feel good. I’d be way more comfortable with a larger, sturdier season.
It’s less about me. My discomfort comes from how I’m thinking about other people’s opinions.
Boom. Instant clarity.
That is NOT who I choose to be.
And seriously, who are these people in my life that I think would judge me for gaining weight?
Certainly not my daughter’s father. He thinks I’m beautiful and is concerned only with me and baby being healthy. Certainly not my family. Certainly not my closest friends. Certainly not colleagues who support me no matter what.
I dug a little deeper. Who? Who am I worried about? Who am I thinking might judge or criticize me?
The fear is about strangers, colleagues or clients who don’t really know me.
This realization was so enlightening. Even writing about this, I have tears in my eyes at what an awakening this was.
First, I don’t know that they are judging or would judge. That’s an assumption. I don’t want to be a person who makes assumptions. I practice not making assumptions and certainly not assuming the worst about people as a result of my own insecurity!
Second, if they do judge me, they aren’t people I want in my life. That makes this season a beautiful opportunity to enrich my relationships and enrich the group of people with whom I work.
This is happening for me, not to me.
Sweet relief.
Beyond that…I explored the question, “What is wrong with gaining weight?”
Am I healthy? Yes.
Is baby healthy? Yes.
Am Iistening to my body? Yes.
Am I eating when I’m hungry and choosing what feels right in the moment? Yes.
Am I being irresponsible? No.
Am I disrespecting my body? No.
So then, what is wrong with weight gain?
This is a season. It’s a miraculous season.
My past periods of weight gain have been steeped in shame, self-loating and hiding.
What a beautiful opportunity for me to navigate this differently…
What a beautiful opportunity for me to choose to love this. To choose confidence. To choose a complete embrace of my body and the fact that it’s needs and wants are very different right now.
I feel such peace and possibility when typing this out.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. That doesn’t mean I am free from frustration or fear of judgement. I certainly have moments of emotion, of sadness, of fear and insecurity.
But this new perspective is a choice I make a hundred times a day and it’s a choice I’m excited about.
I’m sure I’ll have more to say about this as I continue to grow. 🙂
Back to baby stuff….
Just yesterday I went in for my final (we think) ultrasound of the pregnancy. It was a long one – about an hour – and everything looked great! My placenta even moved! It was no longer “too close” to my cervix!
It was pretty miraculous to see all her fingers and toes, the four chambers of her heart and all her little ribs. The ultrasound tech was super chatty
I am admittedly biased, but I think she’s pretty cute already!
After the appointment, I got a phone call. This is where things get interesting and a little challenging.
The doctor was calling about the urine sample I left last week. The intial dipstick screening was negative for a UTI but they sent it out to see what bacteria “grows out” over time. Essentially, she was calling to let me know I have a “severe” UTI and that she was calling in antibiotics for me.
I was surprised because I don’t feel like I have a UTI. I’ve had them before and you certainly know when you do! While yes, I’ve been urinating much more frequently, that’s super common in pregnancy. I haven’t had, however, any burning, pain or discomfort.
She went on to explain that I had over 100,000 active cultures in my sample but that they didn’t test out for a specific strain. She said that it could be a contaminated sample but since UTIs can lead to infection or pre-term labor, they wanted to air on the side of caution and treat it.
I thought it was super weird that she couldn’t name a specific bacterium that was problematic so I asked,
How do you know it’s pathogenic bacterial overgrowth? Could it be that I just have a healthy, robust microbiome?
She said they didn’t know that it was pathogenic and that it could be representative of a rich microbiome and the fact that I supplement with multiple probiotics. Or, she reiterated, it could be contamination.
Here’s what’s so fascinating to keep in mind about most medical tests: their ranges for “normal” are based on populations, not based on optimal states of health. Here’s what I mean: they determine “normal” levels of bacteria in the urine based on what most people have, not on what is optimal. With this in mind, having a high amount of bacteria in the urine could very well reflect that I have a richer microbiome than most. Yes, it could also indicate an infection, but as they were unable to verify problem strains and I’m not having typical symptoms, I don’t feel comfortable jumping right to antibiotic treatment.
Heck, I’ve worked my butt off to improve my microbiome for my health and the health of my baby so I’m not eager to jump on antibiotics as a precaution.
So, here’s my plan. I have another appointment in just 4 days. Between now and then, I’ll increase my probiotic consumption and supplement with cranberry capsules and vitamin C. If there is an infection, that should help knock it out without antiobitics. My good friend Dr. Beth Westie also told me to drink lots of water, change my underwear 2-3x/day and watch for any symptoms like pain, burning, discharge or fever.
Then, we’ll retest in a few days.
In other baby news…
We painted the nursery yesterday and my mom & her husband are coming down this weekend to help us lay down wood flooring in there. I’ll show pictures on Instagram (in my stories) as we go. While the house is still in total shambles, there are two very small rooms upstairs that aren’t being renovated by the crew. One of those will be the baby nursery so we can get that situated even while we live in chaos.
Speaking of the renovation chaos – this week has been tough. Because of a big 5-day storm cycle, the crew hasn’t been here all week.
I had my first moment of real frustration with our living conditions (not to be confused with a lot of frustration I’ve had about the previous contractor). One particularly restless night, I just wanted the be able to go lay on the couch to watch TV and try to get comfortable. But, we have no couch and we have no TV. I wanted to be able to walk to the fridge and get a cold drink, alas, no fridge in the house.
I’m sure there will be many more moments of frustration as the pregnancy continues, but I’m determined to remain grateful for my home, grateful for my health, grateful for my baby and grateful for my family.
Until next time…I’m off to get some cranberry capsules and vitamin C!
Have you heard the acronym for systems: save yourself time, energy & money.
I shared this a few weeks ago and have gotten a ton of questions about what makes a system, how to create them and where to begin. In this episode I dive into the world of systems, starting with what you shouldn’t systemize. It’s a mistake many people make, creating systems for the sake of it.
In today’s episode I show you how to avoid this, and how you can create time, money and energy saving systems that will have a huge impact on your business, life and personal wellbeing.
I’ve written an article that accompanies this below, so be sure to listen, read (or both) to learn about the systems you need most in your life.
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
About why this acronym for “Systems” plays such an important role in choosing which systems will best serve you (and your business)
The two biggest issues most people have when trying to add a system into their life or workflow
The two types of podcast listeners there are, and why it’s important YOU need to become the latter
The 3 questions you should ask yourself before you even think about creating a new system
How to perform a Time Audit, and how this helps you decide which systems you need to prioritize
How prioritization DOES NOT save you time, and the 3 steps you can take to ensure you don’t mispritoize your actions
Some of the core systems I personally use (and how you can build your own to save you time, energy and money)
The one question you must always return to (this one question will make sure you never waste time, money or your energy again)
If I offered you something that would save you time, energy and money you would take me up on it, right?
But surely, no such offer exists…
Something that saves you time? Energy? MONEY?!
It can’t be true. Except, it is. In fact, there is something you already have in your life that saves you all three of these huge resources… SYSTEMS!
You may not be aware of it, but you have many systems in your life. You may also associate them with work, but you bring systems into your own routines and home. You likely have a system for getting ready in the morning, and may have a system for your weekly groceries.
Everyone has them, but few people are conscious they do.
This creates two big problems:
Where we need a system the most, we don’t have one
The systems we do have are not effective or efficient enough
This is what happens when you don’t consciously create something. It tends to be ineffective, and you may use systems where you don’t need them (and not have a system where you need it the most).
Yet systems can be so easy to create, and the more you have the easier your life gets.
Save Time.
Save Energy.
Save Money.
There’s even an acronym for systems I love: save yourself time, energy & money.
The Role Systems Play in Your Life…
If you find yourself struggling for time, constantly dashing from one task to another or feel like you’re wasting money in certain areas of your life… chances are you need more systems in your life.
They DO NOT have to be complicated.
In fact, simple systems often work best.
Having them makes a massive difference, which I can say through experience.
(more on my own story later)
But I didn’t know just how big of a problem ‘systems’ played in so many of my listeners lives. Yet when I mentioned that acronym above in episode 659, I received a lot of emails:=
What are they and what do they look like?
How can you create your own?
How do you know which areas of your life need a system?
Reading these emails opened my eyes, and I remembered how I used to live my life before I consciously built systems into it (both at home and with my business).
I too felt stressed and overworked, and never felt in control of my day.
I knew I could do certain aspects better, but had no idea where to begin…
That’s why I’m writing this article. I want to show you how to create your own, but more importantly know how to decide which areas of your life need systems the most.
Because a problem a lot of people have is that they create systems for the sake of it.
They assume if they have them everywhere, it will make their life easier.
Not true. This is where we’ll begin: The 3 Questions To Ask Before You Even Think About Creating Systems
The 3 Questions To Ask Before You Even Think About Creating Systems
Not everything needs a system.
A system needs to have a specific purpose that saves you time, energy and/or money (ideally at least two, or even better, all three).
If it doesn’t achieve this the system either isn’t needed or is broken.
So before you even think about adding systems into your work or life, ask these three questions:
What is the major problem you are trying to solve?
What’s draining you the most / what is repeatedly frustrating you?
What do you want / need to be easier in your life?
What is the major problem you are trying to solve?
A system isn’t meant to feel good, but rather solve a problem. It needs to heal a pain, and the greater your pain the greater the need for a system. For instance, my inbox always used to cause me pain.
I found myself checking it throughout the day, and losing focus each time I did.
I knew it cost me time and energy, so I created a system to solve this (listen to the podcast episode that accompanies this article to learn more about this email system).
What’s draining you the most / what is repeatedly frustrating you?
Take a step back and think about those aspects of life you struggle to keep on top of. They drain you and frustrate you, and you do all you can to avoid them.
Finances…
Laundry…
Cleaning the house…
Cleaning the car…
Your own email inbox…
Recognize what’s consistently causing this pain.
What do you want / need to be easier in your life?
What feels broken? What do you have to do and is largely out of your control, but you know if you could fix it it would make a big difference.
Getting the kids to school…
Getting the kids to bed…
Getting yourself ready in the morning…
Your bookkeeping / paying your monthly bills…
If you find what’s broken, you find what needs a system.
So many people embrace a system only to wander off track after a few weeks. The reason this happens is because it didn’t solve a big enough pain.
There is no point in having a system for the sake of it. It has to have a purpose, and it has to solve a pain.
The Problem with Prioritization (and how to fix this)
This is another problem many people have, and it follows on from the above.
Prioritization!
You now have a long list of new systems you would like to build. If you’re anything like me, you’ve opened a can of worms and you’re eager to make your life a whole lot more efficient.
But where to begin?
To help best prioritize your time, energy and money ask yourself three new questions:
can it be eliminated?
if not, can it be automated?
if not, can it be delegated?
The first thing to consider is if you can eliminate the pain from your life altogether. I couldn’t eliminate my email problem, for instance, but I could eliminate the problem I had with it on my phone by deleting the app.
If something cannot be eliminated, ask yourself if you can automate it (even just part of the process).
I’ve been without a washer and dryer for months, and taking it to and from the cleaners has drained me. So I called them and asked if they did a delivery service. They did, and although it now costs me a little more money, it saves me a lot of time and energy.
Finally, if you cannot eliminate or automate it, can you delegate it?
Can you assign it to someone on your team?
Can you get one of your partners to do it?
At home, can you get your other half to?
Or maybe you can delegate it to the kids…?
If something passes through each of these questions and remains, this is what you should prioritize and build a system around.
2 Systems That Have Changed My Life
I go into more systems in more detail in the latest episode of the Primal Potential podcast. I encourage you to listen to get the full insight, but here’s an overview of 2 simple systems that have changed my life.
1: Journalling
This is such a simple system, but one of the most effective. I start each day journaling, and it saves me time and energy because I begin my day with clarity.
I have to think about what I’m doing less throughout the day, all because I spent five minutes journaling.
2: Questions
I know I cannot control life, and I know there will be times I get stressed. I’ve built a system to preempt this by creating a list of questions to ask myself the moment I feel flustered.
If I was who I wanted to be, is this how I would act?
How could I act right now… what could I do differently?
What if I saw things from the other person’s perspective in this moment?
Etc…
I don’t remove stress from my life with these questions, but I ensure I move past it quickly when it arrives.
S.Y.S.T.E.M.S: save yourself time, energy & money.
We would all like to save more time, energy and money. At work and at home, we rarely seem to have enough of them. By creating the right systems you can make your life much easier.
After reading this, I hope you have a greater understanding of how to find the areas of your life that need systems the most.
I’ll leave you with one final question I often ask myself: does this system make my life easier?
If it does, I keep it (or find ways to improve it).
If not, I get rid of it — it doesn’t serve a purpose.
You need to find the systems that serve a purpose for you, and that relieves you of pain.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
Thanks for reading. If you would like greater insight into SYSTEMS, please listen to the episode that accompanies this article in full — it goes into everything in greater detail, and offers several examples…
This process never ends, either.
I’m always searching for (and finding) new systems to add into my work and life.
And with me becoming a mom soon, I’m sure I’ll find many more systems to build 🙂
I am under contract with a new contractor! Praise! (Still will be another 5 months before I have a kitchen/bathroom/etc)
Far more energy
Fewer food intolerances
Far more heartburn
Far less sleep
A lot of congestion
Way more peeing
Even though I’m hardly sleeping and I still don’t have a kitchen, things feel a lot easier. It’s amazing what hiring a contractor and being able to eat will do for a girl!
My Last Appointment:
I had an appointment to check on the baby the other day and all seems to be going well. Her heart rate was strong and they found it right away. (On the last visit, it took a minute and 20 seconds to find it! Yes, I was counting.)
I learned a couple of interesting things, stemming from the fact that my weight gain is a little more than they’d like to be at this point. 🤷🏻♀️
Apparently, when you have an autoimmune condition (as I do – Hashimotos), you retain a LOT more water during pregnancy than the average person. For example, let’s say the average person gains 30 lbs during their pregnancy. A person with an autoimmune condition might gain an additional 30 lbs just from water retention.
The volume & frequency of my urination points to the fact that I’m retaining a lot of water and my body is working hard to clear it.
It’s not dangerous, it’s just kind of frustrating because the weight gain numbers become skewed and I look and feel HUGE.
My face is SO puffy, as you can see. My hands are, too. Before I learned that about the water retention, I had been complaining about how tight and uncomfortable my hands feel. Now I know why!
Fortunately, the water weight sheds quickly after delivery. Unfortunately, my weight gain will be more significant and I just look very puffy and bloated.
Maybe in the next post I’ll share a bump pic? To be perfectly honest, I need some more time adjusting to this changing body and working to improve my mindset about it before I open it up for the world to comment, ya know?
One of the other things that came up during my last visit was the upcoming oral glucose tolerance test (OGTT). For the uninitiated, an OGTT requires that you drink a really, really sweet syrupy drink to see how quickly and efficiently your blood sugar returns to “normal” or baseline afterwards.
I told my doctor that I was thinking of declining this test for 2 reasons:
I don’t want to put that highly processed beverage in my system
I don’t think the test simulates reality. If we want to see how quickly my blood sugar returns to baseline after a normal meal, great. But after straight sugar? No thanks.
She was totally fine with it and what she suggested I do instead is check my fasting blood sugar and 2-hour post prandial once per week. I’m cool with that, I just need to get my blood sugar monitor out of the storage unit!
What I’m craving:
Organic honeycrisp apples. I’ve always loved them, but I could eat them all day every day.
Virgin spicy bloody mary’s. I haven’t had one yet, but I’ve asked a few times!
What sounds gross:
Unfortunately, meat & veggies sound pretty bad most of the time. I’m definitely challenging myself to eat clean each day. I can do better. I will do better. It hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure. Fortunately, it’s all great opportunity for practice and I’m getting a lot of good mindset work in!
What I’m thinking about:
My next appointment is on 10/10 and will include an ultrasound. I’m really excited to see how baby girl has grown since I last saw her!
I have a lot of travel and work stuff coming up, so I’m trying to stay very focused & efficient for the next few months.
Hiring. I will be adding a director of operations to the Primal Potential team. More on that soon.
The nursery – we haven’t done anything but I’m hoping my mom & her husband can come help us lay down a floor soon. The nursery will be upstairs so we don’t have to wait on the construction.
Speaking of construction – when will it start?! How long will it take? Will it be on budget?
Relax, Elizabeth. That’s always on my mind. Relax and enjoy the moment you’re in.
