Feb 21, 2018 | Blog
In episode 456 of the Primal Potential podcast I talk about mise en place – a French phrase that means “everything in it’s place”.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click here.
Mise en place is one of the first things young chefs are taught. Before you begin to cook, you first get prepared. You make sure you have everything you need. You gather your ingredients. You collect all the pots, pans & utensils you’ll need. What needs to be chopped gets chopped. Everything is in it’s place before you begin so you are prepared and in control. You’re efficient. You’re setting yourself up for success.
Before you begin, you get your stuff together.
Think about the cooking experience of a chef who prioritizes her mise en place and a chef who doesn’t. The chef who begins with everything in it’s place will be far more in control. The process is more manageable because (s)he has everything she needs.
But the chef who didn’t get set before beginning has much more work to do. Everything feels more challenging. It takes a little bit longer. Mistakes are more likely to happen. This chef doesn’t have more work to do, but it certainly feels harder and more overwhelming.
As I shared in episode 456, the idea of mise en place extends far beyond the kitchen. We need to get our stuff together before we begin.
Some people go through their days feeling prepared. They feel in control. They have what they need which makes them more able to do what they need to do with less resistance.
They prioritized getting everything in it’s place before beginning.
Their lives aren’t necessarily easier, but they feel easier because of the little bit of time investing in being prepared.
It leads to efficiency. It reduces feelings of overwhelm.
A good day begins the night before.
What will you need in order to be successful? What contributes to a great, easy, collected day?
I’ll tell you what this means for me. Before going to bed each night, I make sure:
- My house is clean & tidy (keeping up is infinitely easier than catching up.) To clean once a week could take hours. To keep every every evening takes only minutes.
- I have a plan for the following day – my work and personal schedule is defined. I know what happens first, second, third, ect.
- My coffee pot is cleaned and filled with water, ready for me to grind the beans first thing in the morning.
- I take 5 minutes to care for my body. I brush & floss my teeth, wash & moisturize my face, take out my contacts and get in bed. No dozing off on the couch.
The following morning, I keep it simple. Sure, I could lounge around and watch the news letting precious time slip away on Facebook & Instagram. I don’t. I go right to the first thing first.
- I journal. In my journal I answer a series of questions like “how can I make today amazing?” This takes about 5 minutes.
- I drink a glass of water. I used to go straight to coffee but these days I begin my day with water.
- I meditate for 20 minutes. I explained my meditation practice and what it’s done for me in episode 454. Without question, this helps me be focused and productive as I dive into work.
- I get light exposure. If it’s a sunny day, I’ll spend 5 minutes walking outside while listening to music or a podcast. If it’s not a sunny day (which it’s often not on Cape Cod in the winter), I’ll spend 10 minutes in front of my Joovv light.
Then I dive into my work. I do the most important thing first. Lately that has been writing my book. If I don’t feel like writing, I ask myself “What could I do to make this easier?”
Recently, I shared with my clients that I was having trouble getting motivated to write. I felt uninspired and the idea of writing for 40 minutes felt like staring at a blank screen for 12 hours.
I asked myself, “What could I do to make this easier” and I decided that I would simply write for 10 minutes and then take a 5 minute break. Instantly, I felt more focused.
I don’t let myself off the hook with hard work. I don’t turn to distractions like social media or television. I just figure out what would make it easier or what I’m willing to do to begin and then I get started.
Everything in it’s place.
What do you need to have in place to set yourself up for success?
Feb 20, 2018 | Blog
There are a few stories my mom loves to tell about me. One of them happened when I was about 5 years old. My family was driving in the car together and my sister Debi was talking about a situation that had her quite upset. I declared that her situation would never be a problem for me because, I said, “I have a zero tolerance policy.”
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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My mom dismissed me and said, “You don’t even know what that means!” With my 5-year-old attitude I bluntly said, “I wouldn’t put up with it.”
Unfortunately, over the years, I’ve become more tolerant. Yes, that’s right, unfortunately.
Though I work to not participate in it, I tolerate rudeness. I tolerate gossip. I tolerate unkindness. Sometimes because it’s easier to let it go. Sometimes because it just seems normal. Sometimes because I’m not quite sure how else to respond.
Primal Potential isn’t the forum where I choose to share my political thoughts but while I won’t use this platform for politics, I will use this platform for kindness.
Last night, I was explaining what’s on my mind and the change I want to make in my own life to my mom. She shared with me something she heard the other day that really gets to the root of my message today.
Violence begins in your heart.
As a culture, we have we have become increasingly tolerant of unkindness and disrespect. The smaller ways this unkindness plays out in people’s rude words and actions have become the norm. We hardly notice it. It doesn’t even stand out anymore.
It’s our fault. We’ve allowed this. By allowing it, we participate in it.
Often behind the cloak of a keyboard, disrepect has taken root. As it spreads from one person to the next, it grows in it’s venom and impact. As the days turn into weeks and weeks turn into years, people have become more bold and aggressive in the displays of their unkindness and disrespect.
Even when we don’t participate in it, our silence is permissive.
I’m guilty of it.
I get rude emails every single day. I work hard to take the high road. To respond with kindness. Kindness matters to me. But I always stop short of saying, “We can totally disagree and I want to talk this through but please, don’t be rude.”
Tolerating rudeness is enabling rudeness.
I have walked away when hearing people gossip or be unkind. It was easier than making someone uncomfortable by stepping in. I’ve stopped short of saying, “Hey, I think we can do better. We don’t have to like that person, but let’s not talk behind their back.”
Tolerating gossip is enabling gossip.
I’ve been rude and unkind to my contractor. I’ve been rude and unkind to the service technicians at GE. I want to be better.
Frustration and anger cannot let me or you off the hook.
We can communicate our frustration with kindness & respect.
Being frustrated, angry or hurt doesn’t mean being rude, demeaning or disrespectful.
It’s time to raise the standard for myself. I can do better. I will do better.
Violence begins in your heart.
That stops right here, with me, today.
And let me be really clear: that doesn’t mean we can’t disagree. We absolutely can! I’m happy to debate with passion. It doesn’t mean you can’t be frustrated with me, my messages or something happening in your life. Bring it on! Our disagreements make me better and I welcome them!
This just means that I will hold both of us to a standard of communicating with kindness and respect.
My sister refers to this as a culture of kindness.
Personally, I won’t contribute to a permissive culture of disrepect and rudeness.
I welcome communication. I even welcome disagreement. But I won’t permit disrepect.
I hope you won’t either.
Please help me create a culture of kindness. It requires more than your kindness. It requires your intolerance of unkindness.
We are capable of doing better.
I am holding myself to a higher standard. I’m holding the people in my life to a higher standard. That means I’m holding you to a higher standard.
Much love and respect.
~ Elizabeth
Feb 19, 2018 | Blog
I didn’t always prioritize the quality of the protein I eat. Early in my weight loss journey, it wasn’t about grass-fed, grass-finished, hormone free or organic. I was simply trying to eat less sugar and pump the brakes on overeating. For me, that was the right choice. I’m glad I took a gradual approach. Trying to do it all at once would have been overwhelming and confusing.
If you’d rather listen to this blog, please click here. Otherwise, keep reading below.
Once I got consistent with eating less sugar and fewer processed foods, I began to add additional nutritional priorities.
My next priority was based on my own health. I was super sensitive to carbohydrates because of my insulin resistance. I had polycystic ovarian syndrome, an issue stemming from estrogen dominance.
I had to start working on my hormonal dysfunction. Because of that, I started paying attention to the quality of the meat I was eating. It would be really hard to move towards hormone balance if I was eating foods that had been treated with growth hormones (and I was!)
Conventionally raised animals are often treated with growth hormones to accelerate the rate of their growth and it became important for me to avoid those hormones. It’s common practice for animals to be administred estrogen, progesterone, testosterone and other hormones! (Side note: many countries, including Europe, have banned this practice. The United States has not.)
In improving the quality of the meat I was eating and working to avoid hormone-treated animals (including in the dairy products I consume), I was also reducing my exposure to toxins.
The meat of onventionally raised animals is higher in toxins and pesticides. Toxins are tougher to avoid in meat products than in produce because toxins are stored in fat. Toxic fat is harder to burn than less toxic fat. Avoiding toxins absolutely makes fat loss easier (and of course improves health).
I started to look for meat from animals that had not been treated with antibiotics. If I need a course of antibiotics, I’ll see my doctor. But, consuming meat from animals who are routinely treated with antibiotics means that I’m routinely being treated with antibiotics. The damage to the human microbiome is real and impacts everything from sleep to mood to metabolism & immunity.
Coventionally raised animals are often fed grains because grain-based feeds are far less expensive and promote more rapid weight gain. This leads to meat that is higher than necessary in pro-inflammatory omega 6 fatty acids. Alternatively, grass fed and grass finished animals have meat that is higher in anti-inflammatory omega 3 fatty acids.
Making better meat choices has been a priority for me for a few years. But I’ve been spoiled, until recently.
Since moving to Cape Cod (which is an island), I’m finding these products harder to find and more expensive. Everything is more expensive here.
So, I switched to Butcher Box. I am not a Butcher Box affiliate and they don’t sponsor the show. I’m just a regular customer, excited about the quality of the products they buy.
Why did I make the switch? In a recent email to my VIP email list (click the button below to subscribe if you aren’t already on it), I explained that their quality is amazing, the convenience of having it shipped to my door is appealing & it helps me save money compared to what is available to me here.

One reader emailed me several times saying that there’s no way it saves me money and I should be more accurate in my emails.
The cost and accessibility of quality meat varies throughout the world. Depending on what kind of quality you prioritize, where you buy it and how much you buy, the price varies dramatically.
I take honesty very seriously. I have no reason to lie. Butcher Box is not a sponsor. I’m not an affiliate.
For the first time, I can really empathize with people who live in parts of the country where it isn’t that easy or affordable to find really great quality meat. It might not be less expensive for you, based on what you’re spending on groceries right now, but it is, in fact, for me. Your reality isn’t mine. Mine isn’t yours.
If it’s not cheaper and or higher quality – guess what? Don’t buy from them. Haha. It’s really that simple. Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m just sharing what I’m doing and why.
When I lived west of Boston in a big city, that reader would have been right. It would have been cheaper for me to keeping buying meat at the grocery store. It would have been worth it, even if I had to go to a couple places to find the level of quality that mattered to me.
But, not all of us are fortunate enough to live in an area where it’s accessible or reasonably priced.
A couple months ago I moved to Cape Cod. After one 90 minute trip to Whole Foods (33 minutes there, 38 minutes back plus time shopping), I commented to my boyfriend that the prices were so much higher on Cape. He nodded. Yep. Island living. And I’m sure it’s far worse in remote areas of the country!
The higher price of food plus the gas prices to drive to stores that are further away and time spent….yes, skeptical reader, it actually is more affordable for me to buy from Butcher Box and significantly more convenient. But I can completely relate to your skepticism as this is the first time in my life where I felt like it was a challenge to buy the quality I’m used to. I’ve been spoiled.
But it’s not just about the money. When you go into a grocery store to evaluate your protein, all you know or see if what they tell you. You often see “grass fed” but don’t see “grass fed + grass finished”.
Maybe you see “organic” but you don’t see “pasture-raised”.
You only know what they tell you and they usually only tell you what they want you to know.
That’s another huge part of my draw to Butcher Box. They prioritize quality and they tell you exactly what that means to them, for each product. If you aren’t sure, you can call or email and ask.
Their beef is 100% grass fed AND grass finished (that’s hard to find in stores!) and it’s never given antibiotics or hormones. The exclusively work with ranchers who treat the animals humanely and feed them a natural diet.
Their chickens are free range, organic & pasture-raised.
Their pork products (including bacon that does not have sugar added) comes from animals never treated with antibiotics or hormones. They also work exclusively with farms that DO NOT administer ractopamine – a growth accelerator.
You can customize your shipment, which I do. I don’t need or want the super expensive steaks. Give me the chicken thighs and the sugar-free bacon! Plus, you can determine if you want a shipment monthly or if you’d prefer it every other month. You can cancel anytime.
Here’s one other honest consideration about convenience and cost savings when you have your meat shipped to your door: you avoid impulse purchases at the grocery store.
When I can completely avoid the grocery store, my food choices are better. I’m not picking up a pint of Halo Top or a delicious block of cheese or piece of dark chocolate. I’m all about things that make it easier to make great choices.
In addition to helping my waistline, that also helps my budget! Even if some of the items do cost more (while many cost less, for me) I still spend far less on food overall because I’m not buying snacks, processed foods, drinks and desserts. That’s undeniable.
These days, even if it costs more, I’ll pay more for my health. It wasn’t always my priority. It is now. But, as I said at the start of this blog, meat quality wasn’t the priority I started with, and I don’t think it needs to be your priority right now, either.
I completely respect budgeting and that this is a gradual transition for most people, as it was for me. Here’s an episode I did on budgeting and another episode on meals under $1.99.
If you decide to give Butcher Box a try, you’ll have to let me know what you think! I’m pretty excited about the fact that every shipment comes with a re-useable insulated shopping bag!!
Feb 16, 2018 | Blog
The day other day, I went through a mental exercise in my journal. I turned off the television and the music, put my computer aside and answered a few questions in my journal.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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Here are the questions I answered:
- Five years from now, how old will I be?
- What, specifically, do I want my life to look like then?
- What do I need to start doing, daily, to make that a reality?
- What do I need to stop doing, daily, to make that a reality?
You know what surprised me?
As I wrote about who, what & where I want to be in 5 years, not a single bit of it had to do with my weight or my body.
I wrote about where I want to live and what I want my home to be like. I wrote about the kinds of friendships I want to have. I wrote about hosting dinners & game nights. I wrote about playing guitar & singing by the fire. I wrote about marriage and what I want that to look like. I wrote about my work & my work schedule. What projects I invest my time in. But I wrote nothing about my body.
I wasn’t trying to avoid writing about my body, it just didn’t come up as a metric of success.
As much as I’m surprised by that, I absolutely love it.
Does that mean I won’t continue to work on my body and my health in the next few years?
Of course not.
But to me, it means I’m growing. It means I’m increasingly clear on what matters most to me.
That’s exciting.
Yes, I want to continue to bring daily attention to work, health, fitness & nutrition.
But, I want to bring more daily attention to creating the realities I wrote about: guitar. Friendships. Get-togethers. Romance. Connection.
Creating the life I want means infinitely more to me than creating a body I want.
And, I believe that as I continue to create the life I want, all the other parts of life, including my health & physique, fall into place.
As I pursue happiness, I prioritize health.
I’d love for you to turn off distractions, invest some time into answering those questions and then bring your daily attention to pursuing the future you desire.
It’s all possible for you, so get to work!
Feb 15, 2018 | Blog
For most of my life, I’ve been incredibly skeptical of meditation. I’ve said things like, “I don’t have time. I suck at it. I can’t turn off my brain. I’m not into that woo-woo stuff.”
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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For the past couple years, I’ve dabbled in meditation. It seemed like everywhere I turned, someone I respect or admire was talking about the power of meditation in their life.
I did guided meditations. Breath-led meditations. Mindfulness meditations. I used apps like Headspace and Insight Timer. I listened to podcasts and read books that touted the benefits.
But still, I wasn’t sold.
I felt better after doing it, but I really struggled to create the time. I felt like there was something else I should be doing – something more productive.
I was fairly consistent in a variable meditation practice. Every day was different in the type of meditation and the duration of the practice. For years, it felt hard. The time dragged by. My thoughts were all over the place.
In the last 6 months or so, I kept hearing people rave about a particular form of meditation: Transcendental Meditation (or TM). Specifically, Ray Dalio, founder of the hedge fund Bridgewater Associates and author of Principles, attributed his personal and professional success to, of all things, his TM practice.
It peaked my interest. I’ve always been curious about what contributes to the success, discipline and creativity of people who perform at higher levels than me.
I’m quite certain that if Ray Dalio has time to practice TM, so do I….
I’m quite certain that if Ray Dalio thinks it’s worthwhile, there’s something I can glean from it.
But…there were a few big ‘but’s…
- You can’t learn it from a book or a podcast. That’s not very convenient…
- You have to learn from a licensed instructor and you have to commit to 4 consecutive days of instruction! (Only about 90 min per day, but still!!!!)
- It’s not free. It’s actually fairly pricey!
Though seriously skeptical about the whole instructor thing and the price, I decided that learning the practice of TM was one of my 2018 goals. I wanted to be more present. I wanted to feel less rushed. I wanted to experience more of life instead of going through the motions every day.
Before the new year even started, I had scheduled my introductory meeting with an instructor.
Early in January I completed my 4 days of training and since the first day, I’ve practiced TM for twenty minutes, twice a day, every day, without exception. (Even I’m shocked by that…40 minutes a day of meditation seemed like an impossibility and entirely impractical in my life)
I can’t put it more simply: practicing TM has already changed my life.
If I had a magic wand and two wishes, here’s what they’d be:
- I wish I had learned it 30 years ago
- I wish everyone would learn & practice
It is wildly different from any other form of meditation I’ve practiced.
Episode 454 of the podcast is dedicated to a look at the other forms of meditation and my experience with TM, as well as the experience of a skeptical friend of mine who did his training at the same time as I did mine. He’s a medical doctor who also runs a side business as a coffee roaster. Needless to say, he’s a busy guy.
If you’re curious, please listen to that podcast but I wanted to make sure to share with you the ways that this practice has created change in my life in just the last 4(ish) weeks:
- I am happier
- I am more relaxed – stressing far less about the daily “to-dos”
- I am remarkably more focused and productive
- I feel less distracted while I’m working
- I am sleeping better – fall asleep more easily, waking less in the night, feel more rested in the morning
- I’m drinking less coffee (unintentionally)
- I feel less hungry
- I have fewer cravings
- I’m more motivated to get to the gym
- I feel more energized during my workouts
- I feel more clear-headed
- I feel more creative
- Fewer things ruffle my feathers (than normal)
I totally understand everyone who thinks it’s not for them or that they just don’t have time. I hope you’ll listen to episode 454 because this is one of those things that actually creates more time, and I explain exactly what I mean by that in episode 454.
To learn more about TM, you can also visit TM.org.
Feb 14, 2018 | Blog
Happy Valentine’s Day! In episode 453 I talked about how people are more comfortable complaining than they are talking about good things. I want to help shift that energy. Let’s talk more about the things we love, the things that bring us joy, and the things we’re proud of.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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Why do so many people tend to be more accepting of complaining, criticizing and condemning than they are of sharing wins & excitements? Why is one acceptable and the other seen as bragging or being pollyanna?
Not here. Not now. Not with me. Today I will lead this charge & I hope you’ll join me. Comment on this post or on Facebook or Instagram with one thing you love about yourself or something you’re proud of.
10 Things I’m Loving This Valentine’s Day
- My damn self. I’ve spent way too much time and energy focused on what is wrong with me or what could be better. I’m kind. I’m caring. I’ve got great hair, soulful eyes and ass for days. I’m funny, adventurous and a good communicator.
- Aerial yoga. You guys know I’ve been religious about CrossFit for a few years now, but moving to the Cape has challenged me to try new things. Aerial yoga is simultaneously really challenging and really relaxing.
- Playing the guitar. When I first separated from my ex-husband, I bought a guitar. I thought it would give me a positive, creative outlet. It did, but I wasn’t consistent. Life got hard and I didn’t play much. But I’m back at it, guitar-teacher and all, and it’s such a great challenge.
- Transcendental Meditation. Guys. It’s changing my life. I recently went through the 4-day training to learn the practice and the benefits are so far beyond what I thought they would be. Episode 454 of the podcast will give you all the details.
- Sunsets. With my recent move, I’m about a 2 minute walk from the water and I’ve been making time to walk to watch the sunset at least a few days a week. It’s a small thing, but it feels peaceful and immensely present. I love it. What a beautiful world we live in.
- Justin Timberlake’s new album Man of the Woods. Yup, that’s right. I have JT in my Spotify playlist. Music has an immediate ability to lift my mood. I’m also a Chris Stapleton fan & they have a song together on that album: Say Something. I love it!
- Raw veggies. I’m not usually a big raw-veggie eater. With the exception of my famous cabbage salad bowl, most of my veggies are cooked. Recently though, I’m seeing how I feel with FAR more raw veggies. They are more enzymatically active (enzymes are denatured in the cooking process to varying degrees). So far, I’m loving it! I feel more energy, without question. I’ll be talking about this in an upcoming podcast.
- Army green. I recently bought an army green bomber jacket AND an army green blazer. I’m thinking it’s my 2018 color.
- My Amazon Echo. I swore I’d never have one, but I bought one while developing the Primal Potential Daily Bites Alexa skill & I’m so glad I did. I love listening to my daily briefing while I drink my coffee in the AM. The speaker is pretty great too, which means more solo dance parties.
- You. I’m 100% serious. Connecting with you guys, being a part of your journeys…it’s such a gift. There have been an increasing number of you sharing the podcast on your Instagram stories and I love seeing what’s resonating with you & making a difference in your life. There’s not a day that goes by when I’m not overwhelmingly grateful that you’re in this with me. So thank you!!!
How about you? What do you love? What do you love about yourself? What’s good? What’s right?
Feb 13, 2018 | Blog
Today’s message is simple and it comes from a poem written by Nayyirah Waheed.
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If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play. Otherwise, keep reading below.
a lie
is
simply a lie.
it draws its strength from belief.
stop believing
in
what hurts you.
~ power
This came up, in a roundabout way, from a post shared within the Primal Potential Masters Club yesterday.
Here’s part of what someone shared:
Ever since our webinar, I have been pondering EB’s challenge about attacking the one thing that we continue to fight battles with but never win the war. For a week, I listened to myself because I couldn’t quite figure out where my main battlefield was. And then I read this and I figured it out!
This is from Lynne Twist’s The Soul of Money (pg. 121): When your attention is on what’s lacking and scarce — in your life, in your work, in your family, in your town — then that becomes what you’re about. That’s the song you sing, the vision you generate. You engage in lack and longing and what’s missing, and you call others to the same experience. If your attention is on the problems and breakdowns with money, or scarcity thinking that says there isn’t enough, more is better or that’s just the way it is, then that is where your consciousness resides. Those thoughts and fears grow from the attention you give them and can take over your life. No matter how much money you have, it won’t be enough. No amount of money will buy you genuine peace of mind. You expand the presence and the power of scarcity and tighten its grip on your world.
So here’s what I figured out: replace the word “money” above with “food”. Scarcity thinking had become my “water”. (You know how the one fish asks another “what is water?” because he’s unaware he’s swimming in it.) I saw those lies of scarcity as being true or at least a reason for having the cookies that wouldn’t be around tomorrow, starting to eat clean on Monday, having treats when my husband was gone because I wouldn’t want to eat them in front of him, I might be hungry later if I don’t eat now, etc. NO MORE! My one thing is to consistently reject all lies of scarcity. My one-word affirmation this month is “consistency”. It’s getting easier with each beat-down of the scarcity spector.
Lies of scarcity. Thoughts of not enough. Of lack. Stories of what you’re missing instead of stories about what you have.
Not enough time. Money. Affection. Sex. Sleep. Food.
What are the lies of scarcity you tell yourself?
Please know that their power comes from your belief in them.
Stop believing in what hurts you.
Feb 12, 2018 | Blog
Saturday night I went to a burlesque show. I hadn’t ever been to one & it was great. The women were beautiful, talented and funny.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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Most of the women were full-figured, probably American sizes 16-20 if I had to guess. They were dancing and stripping on stage, looking beautiful and fully alive. Sure, I noticed their size because I was looking at them, nearly naked, but what stood out infinitely more than their weight was their energy and confidence. It was magnetic.
At intermission, I heard a few interesting conversations:
Those girls must just see their bodies differently. I could never do that.
I won’t even get naked with the lights on, nevermind in front of a crowd of people. We’re all sexier in the dark…
I admire their confidence. I can’t even imagine feeling confident enough to wear that or dance in public.
Here’s what I noticed about these ladies: They were having an amazing time. They looked absolutely beautiful. They radiated confidence and energy.
It made me think about episodes 447 and 451 of the podcast where I talk about the power of convincing & how we can convince ourselves of anything.
You can convince yourself that you’re too fat or not sexy enough to “wear that”. You can convince yourself that you can’t get naked with the lights on because you’re not thin enough.
Your thoughts, actions and words can absolutely reinforce that belief.
Alternatively, like these ladies in the show have done, you can convince yourself quite differently. You can convince yourself that your size doesn’t stop you from having fun or doing/wearing what you love. Why should it? You have one life and you’re going to have a great time! Your choices don’t hinge on the size of your jeans.
The ladies in this show didn’t have super powers, but they did have a positively powerful story.
I love to sing and dance and I’m going to have fun! I don’t need to be a certain size to do this.
What’s most obvious to me is that they wouldn’t make it on stage with a story about what is wrong with them or what they can’t do. That story is certainly available to them, to anyone, but it’s not the story they choose to tell.
They simply choose to pursue what they love and not pollute their minds with doubts, fears and limitations.
Fear doesn’t stop death, it stops life.
The only thing your fear of judgement is stopping is your full experience of life.
I have asked many, many men what makes a woman sexy and almost all of them agree:
It’s far less about the size of her jeans and far more about the way she carries herself in them.
Confidence isn’t something you get to claim once you’re under a certain weight threshold.
It’s mental. And it begins with a choice. It begins by no longer telling those limiting stories about what you can’t do or how gross you are.
People can sense it when you feel apologetic about your body. That’s the opposite of confidence. It’s the opposite of sexy.
You can’t have that energy and vitality when you are focused exclusively on what is wrong with your body.
Don’t shrink from the space you take up. Hold it down and be strong and as alive as you can possibly be.
Create a different story. It doesn’t have to begin with, “I’m sexy and beautiful” if you don’t yet believe that.
But it could be as simple as: I look great in this jacket. My hair looks good like this. I have a radiant smile. My mascara is on point today.
For some reason, burned into my memory is my first class at CrossFit New England. I didn’t know what to expect, I was intimidated. I didn’t know anyone. As the class stood around the white board listening to the coach’s instructions, I noticed that I had wrapped my arms up in the body of my shirt.
I looked ridiculous. I was trying to hide. To make myself disappear.
That moment, and moments like the burlesque show, remind me to proudly occupy the space I’m in. They remind me that confidence begins with your attitude.
I’m choosing not just be impressed by these burlesque girls, but to challenge myself to take action based on their example. I’m going to do some shopping this week to buy some clothes that I might normally tell myself I don’t look good in because of my size.
Bullshit.
I’ll look good in them because of my attitude.
Like this ridiculous spandex mermaid dress I wore on Halloween…..

Feb 9, 2018 | Blog
Recently I had to leave the gym I love. Early in 2017 I moved to join a specific, elite gym: CrossFit New England. Every single workout there pushed me. There was constant variability. The community was second-to-none. But, I had to move. After building my tiny house and facing the laws regarding placement, I couldn’t stay close to my gym. I wasn’t happy about it.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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I had a few moments of nervousness – how will I continue to push myself outside of this gym that pushed me so hard? Should I hire a trainer? Join another CrossFit box?
I felt like I was facing a challenge right out of the gate when I realized that CrossFit box nearest to me doesn’t offer the scheduling flexibility I was used to at CFNE. That would make getting to CrossFit workouts a little more challenging.
My initial reaction was to be irritated and frustrated but I quickly realized it’s actually an opportunity. While I really, really love CrossFit, I know that my body can benefit from the variability of other types of workouts. Not being able to make it to the CrossFit box every day meant a chance to try new things & meet new people. I can get excited about that.
I joined an aerial yoga studio. Talk about a totally different kind of workout than CrossFit. I love it.
I also joined a regular globo-gym! It’s been a long time since I’ve had a “regular” gym membership! (I got an entire year membership for less than HALF what I was paying for ONE MONTH at CFNE. That’s not a complaint about CFNE’s pricing, but rather how I was able to justify having both.)
Yesterday when I was in the regular non-CrossFit gym, I didn’t have much time and I wasn’t in the mood for an intense barbell workout.
Instead of focusing on what I didn’t want to do, couldn’t do or didn’t have time for, I simply focused on what I could do. I didn’t touch a single barbell, dumbbell or machine and I got in a killer, fast workout!
I grabbed the bosu balance ball. I am a HUGE fan of these. A bosu balance ball is basically one half of a large, inflatable ball secured to a flat platform. Both sides of the bosu are used depending on the stimulus and stability you desire.


Before I tell you what I did with it, I can’t help but share why I love them:
- They can be used by all fitness levels. Sure, they require some balance but even a beginner can start by just placing one foot on the ball and leaving one foot on the ground. The platform side down provides much more stability than ball side down.
- Instability activates all your muscles. For example, doing shoulder press on a bosu is going to engage your glutes and core because of the balance required, whereas doing shoulder press while standing on the ground wouldn’t require near as much from your core and base.
- You can do a million things with them! Think burpees, push-ups, lunges, plyometrics, one-armed rows…the sky is the limit!
Before I share my workout with you and the new (to me) way I used the bosu yesterday, please heed this warning:
I am not a personal trainer. I do not play one on the internet. I’m not giving workout advice or prescribing a workout, I’m just excited to share one of my workouts with you. If you are new to working out, do not try a bosu without the assistance of a trainer. You could fall. Falling is bad. Check with your doctor before beginning a workout routine.
One of my favorite things to do with the bosu is…burpees. Don’t get me wrong, I hate burpees like the rest of the world, but they’re a great way to get in a killer full body workout in a short amount of time.
Bosu burpees are an awesome burpee variation.
Here’s how it goes:
Stand holding the bosu, ball side down. Your thumbs will be over the top of the platform side, fingers wrapped under the ball side. Drop into the bottom position of a burpee (plank), the ball side on the ground and do a push-up on the ball. Jump your feet up towards your hands. Jump up to a vertical position. Press the bosu over your head. Repeat.
If you aren’t ready for the push-up, you can just go to the plank position on the bottom, hold it for a second and then jump back up.
Here’s a video of someone demonstrating a bosu burpee without the pushup.
I also love doing deep squats on the bosu balance ball becasue they require such muscular control and stability. It’s a very different stimulus than doing squats with a barbell or dumbbell. I did a few squats with my feet spread across the platform surface of the bosu (ball side on the ground) and then I decided to push myself and try something new:
An overhead squat on the bosu.
I started with a small 10-lb plate. I positioned my feet on the platform side of the bosu, exended the plate over my head, arms fully extended, shoulders externally rotated, and I dropped into a deep squat with the plate pressed overhead.
Holy fully body engagement! Gradually, I worked up to a 35 lb plate overhead, squatting on the bosu balance. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt such glute engagement on any squat variation!
(Obviously don’t put any weight over head, especially when standing on an object requiring balance, without the assistance of a trainer if you haven’t done it before and aren’t properly trained on the correct form for an overhead squat.)
Specifically, here was the flow of my workout:
5 rounds for time:
- 20 bosu burpees (10 with pushup, 10 without, alternating)
- 30 second bosu plank (active recovery)
- 10 bosu overhead squats
I was in and out of the gym in no time. I didn’t do a CrossFit workout. I tried something new and it was fantastic! Step outside your box!