Feb 8, 2018 | Blog
This morning I watched episode 5 of Tom Vs Time on Facebook. It brought together so many things that have been on my mind lately.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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Brady said, “Football isn’t a game of perfect, it’s a game of mental toughness.”
It made me think about how so many of us are playing the wrong game. Too many people approach health, weight loss or really any goal, as if it’s a game of “perfect”. Like there’s a gold standard and you’re trying to hit it every day. You’re falling short of this standard of perfection. Every evaluation of choice or thought is measured against your idea of perfection.
That’s a trap. There’s a different way. A better way. A more effective way.
Health is a game of attention. Weight loss is a game of attention. Goal pursuit in general is a game of attention.
Many of us play it as if it’s a game of intention, but we aren’t paying attention.
Most of us are drifting through our days. Yes, we have goals. But most of the time, we are on autopilot, reacting to what’s in front of us, following a pattern of habit, familiarity & ease, failing to bring regular attention to what we want most, why we want it & what we can do today to move in that direction.
When we pay attention, we not only have the presence to ask ourselves what we can do today, but we’re also constantly evaluating if it’s working – if we’re making progress.
My guitar teacher shared with me the other night that one of the most important parts of becoming a “real” guitar player is asking & answering the question:
How did I do?
That is paying attention. That is being dialed in. You aren’t drifting. You aren’t going through the motions.
You’re taking action and then looking at your progress.
The key is paying attention.
While getting treatment before a game, Brady said that his personal pursuit is straight forward. He is working to be:
Physically fit. Emotionally stable. Spiritually sound.
You won’t drift to any of those things because you desire them, because you hold them as values or because they’re your goal or intention.
None of us can achieve progress without paying attention.
Whatever it is that you want to achieve, improve or become, you have to bring your daily attention to it.
The more of your daily attention you’re giving to your past or to things that aren’t real or don’t matter, the less of your attention you have available to give to your pursuits.
You can’t simply acknowledge the desire or intention.
Identify actions you can take, on this very day, to move in that direction.
Then, pay attention to what you did, the impact it had & the progress you’re making.
Whatever the goal, it requires that you pay attention.
Your intention isn’t enough. Your attention is required.
Are you paying attention?
What will you give your attention to today?
What will you do to pay attention today?
Are you in the habit of asking yourself, “How did I do?”
How will you practice paying attention today?
Feb 7, 2018 | Blog
Ready for a few quick, easy & fat loss friendly meal ideas?
I don’t love spending a ton of time in the kitchen. I’ve got my hands full with work and creating a life I love. But, I do want to eat amazing food (and not break the bank or spend tons of time on complex recipes along the way).
If you’d rather listen to this post than read it, please click play. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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If I’m going to spend time cooking (and I’m trying to do more of that), I want to be able to get multiple (different) uses out of whatever I’ve cooked. And of course, I want them to be delicious!
This week, I did that with ground beef. You could use ground chicken, ground turkey or skip the meat all together & go vegetarian.
I cooked a package of ground beef and then got three awesome meals out of it:
Spaghetti Squash Marinara
I’m on a huge spaghetti squash kick lately. It’s the only kind of squash I like!
I cut the squash in half, lengthwise, scrape out the seeds and bake it face down at 375 degrees until it’s just slightly softer to the touch. Don’t ask me how long – it depends entirely on the size of your squash. Larger squashes can take close to an hour. Smaller ones can take 20-25 minutes.
Without removing the squash from it’s shell (is it a shell?) I use a fork to loosen up the strands of squash and then toss in the leftover ground beef and some organic tomato sauce*. If you’re not sensitive to dairy, you can add a little cheese, too! I like to add ricotta so it feels a bit like lasagna.
Bonus: when you eat it out of the squash, you have fewer dishes! I’m all about that!
Broccoli Nachos
My friend Maggie inspired me with a similar meal she made. She topped broccoli with a paleo-inspired chili. Talk about making chili both more filling & more nutritious! I don’t yet have bowls in my new tiny house (they’re still at my other apartment) and I have a thing for Mexican food, so I took a slightly different approach.
I steamed a head of broccoli and topped it with my leftover ground meat as well as all my favorite nacho toppings: guacamole, jalapenos, salsa and a little bit of cheese.
This meal was ready in less than 10 minutes and kept me full for hours!
(The picture below shows a slightly different variation where I used grilled chicken, which was also delicious and a great way to use up leftover chicken breasts or thighs.)
Riced Cauliflower Chopped Suey
Did you ever have chopped suey growing up? In my family, it meant a blend of elbow macaroni, diced tomatoes, onions and ground meat. It was quick & it was inexpensive.
I don’t eat much pasta these days but I have a version of this classic that’s healthier, quicker and more filling!
I grabbed a bag of frozen cauliflower rice and threw it in a skillet with a bit of ghee* (grass fed butter with the milk fat removed because I’m a little sensitive to dairy – you could totally butter). While that heated up, I opened a can of diced tomatoes & poured off the extra water. I had some jalapeno poppers left from the Super Bowl so I diced those and added them to the cauliflower rice (you could add garlic, onions or any additional veggies you desire) along with the tomatoes. At the last minute I added the pre-cooked ground beef.
So delish and it reheats beautifully!
If you want to see more of my daily food choices, follow me on Instagram and click the little circle at the top of your Instagram feed to view my daily stories!
In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.
Feb 6, 2018 | Blog
Yesterday, as I walked from the post office to the grocery store I thought, “It feels amazing to take great care of myself. Why would I ever not choose this?” I walked out of the grocery store with tomatoes & cauliflower rice feeling peaceful & in control.
Later in the day I walked to the water to watch the sunset before going to the gym and thought, “I am happier when I make time for this. This matters more than making time for television or Facebook”
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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I spent most of my life not taking great care of myself. My standard operating procedures were:
- Don’t get enough sleep
- Stress out over everything
- Focus on everything that’s wrong
- Criticize everything about myself
- Eat too much
- Regularly consume processed foods & sugar
- Watch too much TV
- Take my body for granted
- Talk to & about myself in ways I would never speak about someone else
I battled temptation almost every day…and usually lost. I hated the idea of telling myself “no” when I wanted sugar or television. It felt hard to say no. But living that way was hard.
I was miserable.
As I walked to the grocery store yesterday, I thought about all the things I do now, with varying degrees of consistency, to take impeccable care of myself.
- Journal
- Meditate
- Go to bed early
- Workout
- Stretch
- Limit television & social media
- Laugh
- Eat clean without overeating
- Avoid sugar & alcohol
- Wash my face
- Take out my contacts
- Floss my teeth
- Keep my home and car clean & organized
- Spend time with people I love
- Sing
- Get outside
- Practice gratitude
The more of those things I prioritze in a day, the better I feel & the happier I am.
Why do we resist those things if they make us feel so much better, brighter & so much more in control?
It feels amazing to feel amazing. We have to create the habit of prioritizing those things.
I’ve experienced not taking care of myself. I told myself it was easier than the alternative.
It wasn’t. It was not an easy way to live.
I’m done feeling awful. I’ve experienced all the joy and pleasure I can possibly get from laziness, overeating & over indulging. I know what that’s like. I’ve seen and felt all of it. It has nothing more to give me.
I’m now determined to find out just how great I can feel. I don’t want to dabble in “better than before”.
I’m exclusively interested in making myself feel amazing. That’s my goal. That’s my pursuit.
Just for today, or what’s left of it, I want to challenge you to take impeccable care of yourself. Define what that means for you and make it happen.
But that’s just the beginning. We’re just getting started.
Pull out your calendar and pick one day in the next week where you will exclusively make choices that reflect impeccable self-care.
Your filter for every choice on that day is: does this choice reflect taking care of myself at the highest level?
If no, save that choice for a different day. You’re not saying “no” forever, you’re just saying, “not today.”
I want you to do that every single week – identify one full day that is dedicated to impeccable self care.
Do that every single week & watch those actions and choices trickle over into other days as you uncover just how great you can feel.
If you need a little help getting started, I’ve made today one of those days & I’ll tell you what it looks like for me. Of course I have to work and do grown-up things, but I’m prioritizing self care and eliminating anything that doesn’t fit the bill.
- Wake up without an alarm (for you, it might be to wake up to your alarm without hitting snooze)
- Listen to 3 of my favorite songs while I enjoy my first cup of coffee (no TV or social media)
- Journal & meditate
- Clean eating brunch – bacon, eggs & jalapenos with cauliflower rice
- Take a 10 minute walk when I need a work break (instead of browsing the news or social media)
- Watch the sunset
- Workout
- Cook dinner at home – broccoli “nachos” (nacho toppings over steamed broccoli instead of over chips)
- Guitar lesson
- Clean house & car
- Face mask & tea before bed
It will look different for you. That’s okay. It should. Decide to pursue how amazing you can feel.
…
This morning as I was posting on Instagram, I typed out the words “heal thyself”.
You cannot heal thyself without “healthy”.
It’s amazing the extend to which you can heal your body, your mind & your relationships when you pursue healthy behaviors.
It feels amazing to feel amazing. Give yourself that gift.
Feb 5, 2018 | Blog
This has been regularly on my mind lately: I refuse to sit on the sidelines of my life.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please hit the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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I refuse to live my days wishing for something different: I will actively create the life I want.
I refuse to get more excited about a television show than I am about my own life.
I’m seeing this all around me.
Surrender. Sadness. Giving more emotion & energy to fictional characters & strangers than to one’s own life.
I refuse.
Now don’t get me wrong – there are some televsion shows I enjoy and I certainly enjoy watching NFL football (too soon to talk about the Super Bowl, btw) but you can be damn sure that I’m not more engaged or more enthusiastic about those things than I am about my own life.
If you recognize that you are giving more time, more energy (positive or negative) or more enthusiasm to absolutely anything other than your own life (and it’s super common, you aren’t alone), I hope you’ll consider it a massive warning flag alerting you to the necessity for change.
Life is short. It’s precious.
Just this weekend a 26-year old linebacker with the Indianapolis Colts was hit & killed by a drunk driver. Surely hundreds of not thousands of people also died suddenly this weekend. People will unexpectedly die today. And tomorrow.
It could be me. Or you. Or someone we love & think we have decades of more time with.
Do we have to face tragedy to start appreciating the fragility of life?
Do we have to wait for a crisis to decide to live instead of merely existing? Going through the motions?
This is your one life. This is your one chance.
You can either wish for change or you can BE the change.
You can sit on the sidelines and watch others live or you can get in the game.
When you look at people who have what you consider to be an amazing life, one you’d kill for, please know that it most likely didn’t happen to them. They worked. They tried. They created it.
And I’m trying to do that too, because for most of my life, I was on the sidelines. I was wishing for something but not creating it. I was part of the problem, not part of the solution. I was unhappy.
I’ll tell you what this looks like for me most recently:
- I watch far, far less television than I ever have – because I only have so much time & I want to invest it in making my life better, not watching it slip away.
- I am working every single day to build new, amazing relationships.
- I’m taking better care of myself in every way: sleep, stress, movement, food.
- I’m taking aerial yoga classes – because it’s fun!
- I’m taking guitar lessons – because it’s fun!
- I started practicing Transcendental Meditation
- I’ve simplified my life to get rid of unnecessary financial obligations so I can feel more free (I’ve tackled this in big ways like building a tiny house but also small ways like getting rid of most of my coffee mugs. I live alone. I don’t need 45 coffee mugs…)
I don’t know what it looks like for you but I hope you’re going to join me in refusing to live a mediocre life.
Refuse to settle.
Back up your desires with passionate action.
Try harder. Live more. Choose adventure.
This is your one life. It’s your one chance.
Feb 2, 2018 | Blog
Many of the emails I get include phrases like:
I just can’t seem to stop eating after dinner…
Once I have one glass of wine, I can’t control myself…
When I’m pre-menstrual, I’m out of control!
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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There’s a huge difference between truly not having control and simply not exercising it.
You are 100% in control of what you put in your mouth, how much & when.
Unless someone is tying you to a chair and force feeding you Doritos, you’re the only one in control.
Just because you’re choosing a pattern of behavior that you want to break, that doesn’t mean you aren’t in control.
Like I talked about in episode 447, you can convince yourself of anything.
You can convince yourself that you have no control.
You can convince yourself that you have total control.
What is your story convincing you of? Is it helpful or harmful?
This is less about the behavior and more about the story you’re telling yourself about the behavior.
Divorce the story.
You’re in control.
You might have a pattern you want to change, but you’re still in control.
Your past choices don’t dictate your present or future ones.
You are free, in this & any other moment, to make a change.
Instead of focusing on changing a long held pattern and what that will take, just focus on today.
What are you able and willing to do today that is an improvement for you?
What are you able & willing to do today to make your choices just a little better than they were yesterday?
You are in control.
Feb 1, 2018 | Blog
There’s a quote I share with my clients on a regular basis. It comes from the book Grit by Angela Duckworth.
Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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If you have both, you’re unstoppable.
When it comes to weight loss, I get a lot of emails from people who are fired up, ready to change and enthusiastic.
They’ve got the energy & excitement part down but what they’re lacking is endurance.
Let’s look at that word: endurance.
the fact or power of
enduring or bearing pain, hardships, etc.
the ability or strength to continue or last, especially despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions; stamina:
Do you have endurance?
When you look at your goals or that thing you want to achieve…
Do you persist in it’s pursuit through hardship?
Do you have the strength and ability to last, especially despite fatigue, stress or other adverse conditions?
Guys, endurance is something we have to train for.
When we look at runners, how do they develop endurance?
They go on increasingly long runs.
They push the limits of their ability to endure and therefore they increase their ability to persist.
Endurance must be trained.
If a runner gave up the second they started to feel tired or disengaged, would they develop endurance?
Of course not.
Neither will you.
The enthusiasm part is important too. Sure, it’s easy to get excited. It’s hard to stay excited.
But how likely is a runner to push through trials and struggles if they aren’t excited about what they’re trying to do? They won’t. That’s why most people aren’t endurance runners.
It kills me when my clients act like improving their health is a burden. A chore. Something they’re forcing themselves to pursue against their will.
Stop! You aren’t a victim of your ability to improve your life!
This is FOR you! It’s not something being done to you. This isn’t a sacrifice – it’s a gift!
I want you to choose enthusiasm while you pursue endurance.
What can you do today to build endurance?
How can you think about your goals as a gift and a blessing instead of as a burden?
Yes, enthusiasm is common and endurance is rare.
Develop both and you’ll be unstoppable.
Jan 31, 2018 | Blog
When it comes to fat loss, focus & energy, water is what I call a “big rock”. Hydration makes a huge difference.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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I don’t drink enough water. I’m working on it because I know that being well hydrated means I have more energy, more focus and I’m less hungry.
We all know water is important, but I’m throwing down the challenge for you to actually drink more water TODAY.
About 60% of the human body is water. If we look at the brain and heart, the percentage is even higher – more than 70%. Water is required for every single metabolic function in your body.
If you are even mildly dehydrated for a short time, your metabolism is impaired.
Let’s go through a little mental exercise. Think about your blood.
What’s the primary component of your blood?
Right. Water.
What’s one primary function of your blood?
To deliver nutrients & oxygen throughout the body.
What happens to the blood if it doesn’t have the ideal amount of water?
It gets thicker.
What happens if your blood is even slightly thicker than it should be?
Blood flow is impaired. It moves more slowly through your body.
What happens when blood flow isn’t moving as well as it should.
Nutrient & oxygen delivery throughout the body slows.
What’s the impact of impaired oxygen & nutrient delivery?
Lower metabolic rate. Lower energy. Impaired mood. Trouble regulating blood sugar. Slower recovery. Inferior workout performance. Reduced mental clarity. Less efficient detoxification.
The list goes on & on.
So let’s roll on with the 5 reasons you need to drink more water today:
- It will help your metabolism function more efficiently
- It will increase your energy
- It will help you focus
- It helps lubricate & cushion your joints
- It faciliates the removal of waste & toxins
Are you convinced? Stop what you’re doing and take a few sips. No need to go overboard, just drink a bit more water today.
For more on hydration and how to know if you’re drinking enough (I’m not into those recommendations of a specific number of ounces), check out episode 046 of the Primal Potential podcast. Episode 337 is also a great one on the importance of hydration.
Jan 30, 2018 | Blog
“You can do so much in ten minutes’ time. Ten minutes, once gone, are gone for good. Divide your life into ten-minute units and sacrifice as few as possible in meaningless activity.”
~ Ingvar Kamprad
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click the play button. Otherwise, keep reading below.
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Ingvar Kamprad was an impressive man. He started selling matches when he was 5 years old and graduated to selling bicycles when he was just seven.
Though reportedly the 3rd richest man in Europe at the time of his death, he lived by the philosophies of simplicity & frugality.
Those philosophies are self-evident in the company he founded: IKEA.
He died just days ago on January 27, 2018.
His quote (shared in Tim Ferriss’s book Tribe of Mentors) is incredibly simple & straight forward; it’s also powerful on many levels.
“You can do so much in ten minutes’ time. Ten minutes, once gone, are gone for good. Divide your life into ten-minute units and sacrifice as few as possible in meaningless activity.”
Guys, the time we waste is time we will never get back. We don’t get to manufacture more time because we wasted it watching TV, complaining or being lazy. Because we didn’t live our best life or pursue our highest potential.
What are the meaningless activities in your life?
They will be differently for each one of us. Are you aware of when you’re giving your time away to them? Of how much time you’re giving away to them?
How can you give less of your precious time to them? What does that look like today?
The time we take full advantage of is also time we’ll never get back. Time with our loved ones, time doing things that light us up…
Are we present for it? Are we paying attention? Are we appreciating it? Do we take it for granted?
An equally powerful consideration: how much more manageable would our days seem if we divided them into 10 minute increments?
We’d be so much less overwhelmed if we took just 10 minutes at a time.
How much more meaningful would our lives be & feel if we worked to sacrifice as few of those increments as possible to meaningless activity?
What can you do to live this out today?
Here’s to a meaningful day with little time wasted & all time appreciated.
Jan 29, 2018 | Blog
One of the primary reasons I wanted to lose weight was that I wanted to feel confident. I was sure that losing weight meant greater confidence & less insecurity.
I was wrong. At 350+ lbs, I really believed that losing weight automatically meant more confidence & I was wrong.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play. Otherwise keep reading below.
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I’m sharing this because I strongly believe that one of the reasons people aren’t reaching their goals and aren’t consistently doing the work to create change in their lives is because they don’t know what they really want.
I thought I really wanted weight loss. What I really wanted was confidence. That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to lose weight – I did – but my primary pursuit was more for a feeling than an external target.
Getting that confused cost me a lot of time.
They are under the mistaken assumption that the goal they’re pursuing, whether it’s weight loss or debt reduction or a specific number of dollars in the bank, will deliver an emotional improvement.
That emotional fringe benefit is the thing they really want. That is the thing they should be pursuing.
Confidence. Peace. Happiness. Security.
My friends: those things are sold separately.
Too many people are pursuing external goals thinking they’ll hit an internal target.
They won’t.
Weight loss makes you weigh less.
More money means more money.
These external goals are separate from the internal targets we truly desire.
If anything, it is the internal target, when pursued, that creates the external change in eating or spending habits.
When we feel happier, more confident, more peaceful, more connected, we won’t turn to food, alcohol or shopping as often.
It’s not the other way around, my friends.
That’s what happened with me and I see it every day with my clients.
I wanted to lose weight. I said I wanted it more than anything in the world. I swore up and down that if I could just lose weight, everything would be easier. Everything would be better. I’d be happier. I’d have more friends. I’d be more confident, my marriage would get better.
I was wrong.
Weight loss made me weigh less.
Confidence is sold separately.
If I knew then what I know now, I’d have looked to pinpoint what specific thoughts made me feel that crippling lack of confidence. Thoughts like:
- Everyone is thinking about how big I am
- I can’t wear those boots – they make my calves look massive
- I can’t do that thing I want to do – I’m too big
I’m sure we all know someone who isn’t obese, who isn’t even overweight, who thinks that way, right?
Like everyone is judging them? Like they’re too big to wear that thing or everyone is watching what they eat?
Those thoughts are independent of weight. They’re not about your size. They’re about your mind.
They are assumptions. Detrimental assumptions and dangerous mental & emotional patterns.
This is the trap, my friends. Even if your pursuit isn’t confidence, we have to do the mindset work first and foremost.
When I got clear on what was eroding my confidence, I was able to address it more directly. Here’s what that means to me:
- I make no assumptions. I refuse to assume what others are or aren’t thinking about my body. That has way more to do with what I think than anyone else.
- I don’t buy into a story that it’s the boots that make my calves look big. My calves are either big or they aren’t. the boots don’t make them bigger or smaller.
- I am militantly on my own side. If I don’t like something, I can change it, but I’m not going to buy into the death trap of self judgement & criticism. I choose to focus on all that is good and right.
- I look for choices that increase my confidence and I make them.
- I study moments when I don’t feel confident and I evaluate what thoughts are contributing to the feeling. Usually it stems from assumption or fear.
If you aren’t careful, you’re going to do what most people do:
Work so hard to hit an external target only to end up unfulfilled by the achivement.
You’ll lose weight and put it back on.
You’ll get that new relationship and then sabotage it.
You’ll pay down debt and simply accrue it again.
Don’t pursue an external goal thinking you’ll hit an internal target.
Know how you want to feel.
Know the ways you’re contributing to not feeling that now.
Change your mindset.
Change your behavior.
Change your life.
