Dec 16, 2019 | Podcast
In today’s edition of “How They Did It” you’ll hear a client describe how, specifically, she made journaling and affirmations work for her so she could get out of all-or-nothing thinking and create success!
Ready to register for the Winter 2020 12 Weeks to Transformation? Grab your spot here!
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Learn more by watching this overview!
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Dec 12, 2019 | Podcast
In this episode of our upcoming “How They Did It” series, you’ll hear from one of my clients who is successfully closing the gap between knowing and doing while ditching the drama along the way! She shares the mindset shifts she’s made and the tools that are working for her to create change.
To learn more about the 12 Weeks to Transformation and get on the wait list, click here.
Dec 5, 2019 | Podcast
What are you carrying with you each day, refusing to put down? An argument last week, a mistake from earlier in the year, a belief from childhood… what do you carry with you? Even if it seems small, if you choose to carry it over time it can create great strain.
In today’s episode, I talk about carrying and holding onto things we don’t have to. I share a story that shows this in action, and the greater impact it can have on you. I also share some of the biggest takeaways from our recent Ascend Workshop, and the effect it’s had on me and those who attended.
I’ve written an article that dives deeper into what we carry with us, so whether you choose to read, listen or both… think about what you’re carrying and question if you can put it down for a while.
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
- About what happened at this year’s Ascend Workshop, and some of the core topics we discussed.
- An overview of how the 2 Day event is run, and what you can expect when you attend (and how the impact you get differs from the podcast).
- The difference between reprogramming and deprogramming, and how unless you commit to both, making a change will always be a struggle.
- How we’re defined as people by our thoughts, but how most of our thoughts are on repeat each day.
- How carrying seemingly small thoughts, feelings and memories can weigh us down over time, and how we often carry these things for years (or a lifetime)
- That putting down what you carry is okay, and that you can always choose to pick it back up whenever you like.
- The role your ego plays in all this, and how it defines your comfort zone.
- How you can be part of 2020’s first 12 Weeks to Transformation so you can be part of future Ascend Events.
TODAY’S RESOURCES:
I held a bottle of water above my head and asked, “how many people think this is heavy?”
Nobody raised their hand.
I stood before a group of people I trusted, as part of our annual Ascend Workshop. Everyone there has been part of at least one cycle of the 12 Weeks to Transformation. During this in-person two day event, we go deep. I work with everyone one-on-one, and everyone gets to work with other people as driven and focussed on growth as they are.
So the fact I stood in front of them with a small bottle of water above my head may have seemed strange.
“What if I held it like this for an hour?” I asked.
A few people raised their hands. The weight of the water bottle remains the same, yet the idea of holding it above your head for an hour suddenly seems tough.
Well, what if you held it above your head for the entire day? or the full weekend? or a week? a month? a year? a lifetime?
It would be hard.
You’d cause injury.
It would become a massive burden… right?
The Weight Doesn’t Change, But The Impact It Has On You Changes With The Time.
The point of this exercise is to demonstrate how the size or weight of something isn’t important, but rather how long you hold onto it that is.
As time goes on, the burden becomes greater.
The energy it takes to carry it over time grows.
The thought/feeling/conversation/worry remains the same.
Yet its impact on you grows and grows and grows.
A water bottle isn’t heavy until you try and hold it above your head for hours, days or weeks.
Well, replace the bottle of water with:
- That argument you had earlier today…
- The email you didn’t like last week…
- The mistake you made last year…
- That belief you formed when you were a child…
It drains you. The longer you keep hold of it, the more energy it requires.
The burden doesn’t come from the weight, but rather how long you carry it.
This is Why CHANGE is Often So Hard!
Research shows that we have between 60,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day. That’s a lot, but what’s insane is that 90-95% of these thoughts are the same each day.
Every day, we live life on repeat.
The same thoughts, feelings and habits.
The same reactions to the same situations.
It leads us to do the same things day-in-day-out. 95% of who we are is a memorized set of feelings, actions and reactions. We can change, and we can grow… but we’re always in battle with what we know and have always done.
This makes change hard.
And what makes it harder is when you carry all that extra baggage with you.
It’s often easy to identify what we want to change in our life:
- Lose weight
- Save money
- Escape debt
- Feel healthier
- Have a stronger relationship…
You create a plan and commit to it, but if you continue to carry those old arguments, beliefs, failures and insecurities… what chance do you have of real change?
Change isn’t defined by what you do, but rather the thoughts you have.
Change these thoughts and create a new narrative… you can win.
Cling to what you’ve always known and done… well, it remains hard.
What Can You Put Down Today?
Can you put that bottle of water down? Can you place it on the floor and give your arm a rest?
You can pick it up again whenever you like. Just because you sit it down doesn’t mean you can’t grab it when you need it. Placing it down for a while doesn’t make it unimportant. It doesn’t mean you have to throw it away or let go of it forever.
It’s there, waiting for you… whenever you need it again.
What else can you put down?
- What are you carrying from earlier today?
- What are you carrying from yesterday?
- What are you carrying from last week?
- What are you carrying from last year?
- What are you carrying from deep in your past?
It may have seemed small at the time. Maybe it still feels small. Yet the longer you carry it, the bigger its impact on you. It also means you have less energy to focus on the change you desire.
You need to set it down.
You can pick it up again later.
But you don’t have to carry it with you all the time.
It’s a choice, and it’s one that can set you free.
Thanks for reading today. Please listen to the podcast episode in full to get a complete picture of how this exercise played out at this year’s Ascend Workshop.
I also breakdown how this 2 Day Event works and what you get when you attend.
It’s something that has a profound impact on me each year.
It also brings great change to those who attend.
I’m already excited about our 2020 Ascend event, but you can only attend if you go through at least one cycle of the 12 Weeks to Transformation. The wait list is now open, so get on it and learn the details ahead of our first cycle in 2020.
Those on the wait list also get access to some unique bonuses, so Join the Wait List Here ⇒
Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions please add them in the comments below. And to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media, follow the links below.
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Dec 2, 2019 | Podcast
How often do you feel deprived and that you’re missing out when everyone else isn’t. This idea of deprivation often comes into play when you’re committed to losing weight, getting healthy, escaping debt or making any transformational change in your life.
Yet this notion of deprivation doesn’t come from the choices you make, rather the perspective you have toward these choices. In today’s episode, I dive deep into deprivation and the fear of missing out, and how a changed outlook can rid it from your life for good.
I’ve also written an article that accompanies this, so whether you read, listen or both… make notes and have an honest conversation with yourself about whether your supposed deprivation is fact or fiction.
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
- How this issue with deprivation is especially prevalent during the holidays.
- The conversations I’ve had that inspired this episode, with clients from the 12 Weeks to Transformation.
- How Deprivation isn’t about practice or the choices you make, but rather about your perspective toward these.
- What the next level to this is, and how it triggers an insecurity some many of us have.
- The self-centered effects of deprivation, and how to break this narrative by looking at the whole picture.
- The half-truths of deprivation, and how it often only creates an incomplete story.
- A recent story from my own life, and how I stepped back from deprivation and the fear of missing out
- How you can be part of 2020’s first 12 Weeks to Transformation, and how to get access to a few special bonuses.
TODAY’S RESOURCES:
I recently went out for a meal with my boyfriend and one of his friends…
We had a lovely meal and shared lots of stories, yet the two of them did something that is possibly not the best idea to do around a woman who’s seven months pregnant… they ordered a bottle of wine.
Of course, I couldn’t have any wine.
And in that moment I had a choice to make…
- Feel deprived, and wish I had what they had
- Do the other thing…
We’ll get to what the “other thing” is soon. It’s something each one of us can choose to do, but often don’t and instead feel deprived and like we’re missing out on something we want or need. It’s especially prevalent at this time of year where one holiday follows the last.
Food, drink, social gatherings, presents to buy and a house to decorate…
It’s easy to see what other people are doing or have and wish you did or had the same. Maybe you give into these temptations and eat more, drink more and spend more money. Well, we all know what that leads to…
- Guilt
- Frustration
- Anger
- Annoyance
- Blame — either yourself or other people!
But then again, maybe you don’t give into temptation.
Maybe you’re on a diet, trying to drink less or committed to escaping debt.
You hold strong but it’s a struggle too because you feel like you’re missing out. You work so hard, yet here you are, deprived of having a good time where everyone else seems to do what they want to do.
It isn’t fair, is it?
Well, that depends on how you look at it.
I felt compelled to record this episode of the Primal Potential podcast because I’ve had a lot of conversations with clients (those inside the 12 Weeks of Transformation), and one topic that keeps coming up is DEPRIVATION.
For instance, while speaking to one client, she told me how she was struggling with the feeling of missing out. She felt like she couldn’t have certain things because she was committed to losing weight,
So I asked her what she was missing out on.
“Chocolate cake,” she said.
Because she’s committed to losing weight, she doesn’t feel like she can have it. Yet, is this true? If she had a piece of chocolate cake would it have a massive impact on her end result? If she had one piece over the holiday, would it mean all the progress she made was pointless?
Of course not!
She feels deprived, but that’s all it is… a feeling.
How To Step Away From Deprivation Once and For All!
Deprivation isn’t about what you can and can’t do, it’s about your perspective toward these.
It’s not the list of things you should say no to, it’s your feelings toward these. Being on a disciplined diet doesn’t lead to deprivation. My client isn’t deprived because she can’t have chocolate cake. It’s her perspective toward all this that deprives her.
The story she tells herself.
The inner narrative.
The perspective you have!
Deprivation comes from how you see the issue, not the issue itself. You can choose to eat chocolate cake and still stick to your diet, and you can still lose the weight you desire. Yet you can also choose not to.
You can choose to see saying no to chocolate cake as deprivation, and that you’re missing out while everyone else around the table gets to enjoy life. Or you can change the narrative and focus on the bigger picture.
I choose to say no to chocolate because I want to be healthier, fitter and happier.
I can have it right now if I want… nobody and nothing can stop me. But I can choose not to.
Deprivation comes from your perspective.
It comes from the stories you tell yourself.
Deprivation Comes From a Selfish Place
There’s another level to all this that I go into detail in the episode that accompanies this. I encourage you to listen to it in full as it shares a few stories and examples from my own life.
What I know is true for me is, when I’m struggling with something in life I tend to get pretty selfish. Less so these days, as I’m more conscious of it. But in the past, sure… I made it all about me.
Let’s go back to the dinner table with my boyfriend and his friend…
They ordered wine that I cannot have. Here I am, seven months pregnant. I would love wine but cannot have it. How selfish of them. Do they not think about me? Do they even care?!
If this narrative played in my head, maybe you could understand it and appreciate it. It would be easy to validate, that is for sure. Yet who does this take into account? ME! That’s it. It’s my side of the story, and how it affects me.
It doesn’t take into account my boyfriend or his friend.
It doesn’t take into account the lovely meal we got to share with each other.
It doesn’t take into account the food I got to eat and the stories we shared.
It’s about me and what I don’t have.
Deprivation is a very self-centered perspective!
It’s very one-sided and doesn’t look at the whole story. It’s not an accurate story. It’s a half-truth at best, and you cannot make good decisions based on half-truths. You lead with emotions and it fuels the feeling of deprivation and that you’re missing out.
Which makes the whole process worse…
It’s Time To Change Your Perspective
Oftentimes, we focus on the negative instead of the positive.
- You feel deprived because you can’t have dessert, even though you’ve had a lovely meal and are full.
- You feel deprived because you can’t have a drink when everyone else is, even though you’re having an amazing night with friends you love.
- You feel deprived because you can’t spend the money you would like, even though by escaping debt it will allow you to live the life you desire.
It’s not that you’re deprived or missing out… you simply see it this way. Well, you can choose to change your perspective and focus on the bigger picture; the positives that often outweigh the negatives.
We often see discipline as something that steals from us.
- The discipline of losing weight
- The discipline of escaping debt
- The discipline of working out
Well, discipline is something you do for yourself, not something you do to yourself.
The freedom that discipline offers you is huge. Maybe not right now, but further down the line… sure. This is the new perspective you need to take. Once you do you’ll never feel deprived again.
I didn’t feel deprived as I sat around the table with my boyfriend and his friend. As they drank wine that they couldn’t, I focussed on the lovely meal we shared and the stories we told. I appreciated what I have, and reminded myself why I’m not drinking wine right now.
Because soon I’ll welcome my daughter into the world, and that’s more important than a glass of red.
Thanks for reading today. Please listen to the podcast episode in full to get a deeper look into deprivation and the role it plays in your life.
And if you would like to surround yourself with people who strive to change their perspective like this, and have a platform to share your worries and wins… join the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List.
It’s now open, and those on the Wait List get information first about what to expect in 2020.
Join the Wait List Here ⇒
Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions please add them in the comments below. And to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media, follow the links below.
GET INVOLVED:
Nov 28, 2019 | Podcast
One of the most effective ways to unlocking your mind is to think about what you need. Which sounds simple, yet is the one thing most people struggle with in the moment. Oftentimes we rush through the day and move from one task to the next.
You react, rather than taking time to question why you feel the way you do and what you actually need. In today’s episode, we look at how unlocking your mind is made easier once you ask these questions. I share some of my own personal “blocks” as well as those inside the Primal Potential Masters Club.
I’ve written an article that accompanies this episode, so whether you read, listen or both… I hope this inspires you to take a step back and not run with that first thought or feeling. There’s more to it that sits just beyond, and it’s often where real growth resides.
IN TODAY’S SHOW YOU WILL LEARN:
- About the message I saw on Instagram that inspired this episode, and how I was blown away by the responses I received when I shared it with the Primal Potential Masters Club.
- How I learned an important lesson about decision making from a family member when we first moved into our home.
- The importance of asking yourself what is the reason behind what you say or feel, and how it’s vital you consider what you NEED in that moment.
- 4 things I often feel and say that I now realize holds me back, and is rooted in much more than I ever thought was true.
- What some of those from the Primal Potential Masters Club had to say about all this, and how they too notice certain blocks when reacting to a situation.
- What I’m personally doing to take action on this, and how I’m involving two people who are very close to me.
- How you can join the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List, and what we have in store for you in the lead up to 2020.
TODAY’S RESOURCES:
I remember when we first moved into our house, a family member came to visit…
We stood in the kitchen as I told him about my plans.
I was excited and couldn’t wait to turn my dream into a reality.
This family member, he smiled and said, “that’s a really good idea. But never go with your first good idea.”
He’s an artistic type, so he knows a lot about creativity and coming up with ideas. This conversation has always stuck with me, and his advice continues to have an impact on me to this day.
He didn’t say it was a bad idea. He liked my idea. Yet he also recognized that your best idea is rarely the first one. It’s often unexamined and incomplete. And if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find much more lies beneath the surface.
I thought of this when I saw an Instagram post recently…
What is the NEED Behind Your Thoughts and Feelings?
This Instagram post caught my eye. It had two columns:
- What we say
- What we mean
It listed a bunch of examples of things we may say, and the real reason behind these.
I related to some of the examples and didn’t agree with others. That wasn’t the point. It made me think about my own words, feelings and reactions. What I do and how I act in certain situations, and if maybe there’s something bigger going on behind the scenes.
It sparked something inside me, so I felt compelled to share it with those inside the Primal Potential Masters Club. If you’re unsure what this Masters Club is, it’s made up of amazing people who have gone through the 12 Weeks To Transformation at least three times.
I’ve gotten to know those inside this club well.
There’s trust between everyone involved.
Everyone is on the same page and grown a great deal.
So when I share ideas or ask questions within this group, I know the responses will make me think.
Yet on this occasion, they stuck with me in a way I wasn’t expecting.
I decided to journal about it later in the day, giving myself time to reflect.
On the back of this, I felt a need to record this episode and write this article.
It wasn’t one I planned to do. It wasn’t in my content calendar. Yet I needed to!
This is the question I asked those inside the Primal Potential Masters Club.
Many people responded straight away with real and raw answers that made me feel and think.
I share some of these in the podcast episode, so I encourage you to listen to it in full to hear these.
They’re amazing, so trust me… listen to this!
These responses made me think about my own.
- What is the NEED behind my words, thoughts or feelings?
- What is the NEED that I’m represented by right now?
- What is the need behind some of my most common feelings?
- What is the need behind some of the feelings I wish I didn’t have as often?
Oftentimes we rush through the day and are just going-going-going.
We don’t stop and question what we’re saying; wondering whether there may be more to it than what’s on the surface. We just react and follow old patterns. And maybe this fuels greater frustration, fear or guilt… so we turn to false solutions like food or alcohol — or fuel further false feelings like anger or blame.
But where’s it all coming from?
What is the reason behind what we say, do, feel and think?
I realized there are 4 things I often do, which I don’t want to.
I’d like to share these with you now…
1: Feeling Pissed Off and/or Having My Feathers Ruffled!
This is often my first feeling when I get an email I don’t like the look of or have a conversation that doesn’t go the way I intended. I feel annoyed that the other person doesn’t understand me.
I feel like they haven’t listened to me!
But what’s beyond this?
Well, I feel misunderstood.
I want to be understood and I want to feel like what I said came clearly across. But it goes deeper than this because I now realize that I often expect other people to match my own expectations.
Even if I haven’t communicated these expectations with them.
As if they should just know…
Like they should be in my head…
Well, there’s a quote I like: “Don’t expect YOU from other people”
I need to remember this when I feel pissed off. It’s my first thought, but I need to go beyond this and think about where it’s coming from, why it’s there and what I NEED in that moment.
2: I’m So Stressed!
Another thing I’ll say is, “I’m so stressed right now.”
I’ll feel it.
I’ll feel the panic and anxiety.
But where does it come from? What’s happening below the surface?
It’s often a sign that I need to slow down, prioritize my focus and think about what I can control.
I feel out of control, but I always get to control my outcome.
It’s my choice. I get to choose what to do next.
It’s not that I’m stressed, but rather need to slow down a little and get clear on what I need to do next.
3: I’m Exhausted!
Here’s another one I feel often, but I rarely say it at the end of an evening when I’m ready to go to bed. Instead, I’ll say it and feel it when I’m caught up in all the chaos of work and life.
It’s another sign that I’m doing too much. I need to slow down. I need to be present and focus on what I need to do now and what I need to do next. It isn’t that I’m exhausted, I’m just overwhelmed right now.
I can choose to step away from that.
4: I’m Frustrated
Similar to the first one, I feel misunderstood. I feel like I have so much to do. I feel like I’m rushing.
Again, it’s a sign to slow down.
But more so… to return to gratitude.
I’m frustrated because I’m focused on what I don’t have. But what about that which I do?
How To Step Back and Move Beyond Your First Thought…
Don’t go with your first thought, feeling or idea.
It’s unexamined and incomplete. It’s time to go deeper and start unlocking the truth. You can work on this right now by coming up with a list of your own common responses and feelings to certain situations.
By listening to the episode that accompanies this article in full, you’ll hear some of those inside the Primal Potential Members Club share their own. I hope you’ll listen because some of their responses are truly inspirational and will help you in unlocking your own mind.
Think about what you say.
And then… go beyond this.
Think about where it comes from.
Think about what you NEED in that moment?
From there, step back and ask yourself: is this who and how I want to be?
If it isn’t, commit to changing the narrative. Feel the first thought, but don’t stop there.
Thanks for reading today. Please listen to the podcast episode in full to hear more stories of my own and those from the Primal Potential Masters Club about unlocking your mind and going deeper.
If you would like to one day join this club and surround yourself with amazing people who push you to go beyond who you are right now, join the 12 Weeks to Transformation Wait List.
It’s now open, and those on the Wait List get information first about what to expect in 2020.
Join the Wait List Here ⇒
Thanks again for listening and reading. If you have any questions please add them in the comments below. And to subscribe to the podcast and connect with me on social media, follow the links below.
GET INVOLVED:
