We have a special guest on the podcast today! “Tinier Tim” Bauer is sharing his incredible 225 lb weight loss story. That’s right – after yo-yo dieting for most of his life (from South Beach to North Pole, as he puts it) he topped the scales at 440 lbs. For years, he tried to lose weight for other people – women, his kids, but it wasn’t until he decided HE deserved it wanted more for his life that he was able to commit to a new lifestyle. Absolutely everyone will be inspired by his transformation!
Don’t eat foods that contain ingredients you don’t know where or how to buy
Tim’s Key to Success: Plan Ahead
Tim routinely used the slow cooker to make sure a healthy meal was ready after work. This reduced the chances that he’d pick up fast food. A delicious meal was waiting at home!
He kept his gym bag packed and in his car so there was always an opportunity to workout
He planned his meals and his workouts ahead of time and scheduled them in his calendar
Sometimes people assume that all this healthy eating, fat loss lifestyle stuff is always easy for me now. Yes, I have been “successful” in my fat loss journey. I’ve lost 140 lbs and transformed my body. But I have a long history of disordered eating, binge eating, crash dieting, insecurity and major self-esteem issues. Much of my healthy lifestyle is easier than it has ever been, but I have issues, too.
There are still weak spots. There are still temptations. There are still rough days and challenging weeks. There always will be. Don’t put me, or anyone else, on a pedastal as if we have it all figured out. The difference for me now is that I am much more AWARE of my issues and I create and implement strategies to help me overcome them. In the past, I let my weaknesses rule over me. They always won because I didn’t take control. I didn’t plan for them and I didn’t strategize against them. Now, I do.
Here’s an example of something that is still a struggle for me: I eat clean most of the time and I workout pretty hard. When I don’t see changes in my body I can get pretty frustrated. Sure, logically I realize that it takes a long time to actually *see* the results of our hard work looking back at us in the mirror. I get that. But I’m human and I can easily get frustrated if I feel stuck. Sometimes this is a fleeting feeling that only lasts a minute. Othertimes it lingers for days or even weeks. When the frustration lingers, I start to slip into old, negative mindset patterns.
I’ll start to tell myself that my approach isn’t working or that my effort isn’t worth anything. I’ll try to convince myself to give in to the ice cream or the pizza because it will “shock my body” and maybe jumpstart my results. I argue with myself that way because it has worked before. My subconscious remembers which arguments have worked before and always goes to those first. I lie to myself in that way because I know I’ve responded to those lies before. It’s how I talk myself into eating in a way that doesn’t make me feel good or acting in a way that isn’t aligned with my goals.
But, like I said, knowing my pattern, knowing when & how I fall into old, unhealthy routines is incredibly powerful. As soon as I start to get frustrated or have those feelings of being dissatisfied with my progress I go on high alert. I know that if I don’t change something (like, the way I’m thinking) I’ll find myself at the bottom of that ugly, unhealthy rabbit hole. And that usually looks like sitting alone in my office with a pint of ice cream, red velvet cake and a bag of Pita chips, feeling completely miserable. Of course I could easily slip back into the old way of thinking and acting. I have 20+ years of routine behind me. But I actively stand guard, identify those trouble spots and choose a different path. Each time I do it, those old patterns lose their power and my new habits become more deeply engrained.
So here’s what I do to fight against my known weaknesses and trouble spots:
I change my thought process – IMMEDIATELY.
Even if my frustration is real (and if it often is), I know that it brings me down a slippery slope so I consciously choose to change my focus. If I’m staring at myself in the mirror feeling like my body isn’t reflecting my efforts, I use that as a trigger to think about positive changes that HAVE happened. I’ll remind myself that I recently ran the fastest mile I’ve ever run. I’ll remind myself of just how far I’ve come over my 140 lb weight loss journey. I’ll go back and look at my heaviest pictures and choose to acknowledge the hard work and effort that went into my transformation. I’ll remind myself of all the times I’ve chosen my goals over the impulse to emotionally eat or binge. Even if these replacement thoughts don’t feel as exciting or genuine as they always do, I go through this process anyway.
I brace myself for the arguments I have with myself.
I KNOW that when I start to feel frustrated I’m likely to start convincing myself to give in to unhealthy habits. Reminding myself to expect that helps those arguments become far less powerful and increases my resolve against them. It’s kind of the new me versus the old me. I prepare the new me for the old me to come out and fight and then the new me is ready for battle instead of already surrendered. “Here comes that fat, unhappy, sad & lonely Elizabeth. She’s loud but don’t give her any power!!!”
I create an alternative response to my frustration.
The old programming still lingering in my head tells me to respond to frustration by falling into old, unhealthy habits. When there isn’t an alternative, it’s a lot more challenging to resist that old programming. When I notice that I’m starting to feel frustrated, I will consciously choose a different response to have on hand when I’m tempted to overeat or binge. Sometimes I’ll realize that my frustration is tied to fatigue or having pushed too hard so I’ll make a plan to commit to getting more sleep. Othertimes I’ll plan to call my coach or a close friend and share my frustrations with them before acting on any impulse to overeat. Usually they are quick to remind me that resisting these old habits will only make me stronger & better. They also often point out progress I’m making that maybe I haven’t seen or recognized. No matter what the plan is, I always make sure to have one.
I really just want to emphasize that you don’t need superhuman will to make healthy changes in your life. Those of us who have made radical change don’t have any skills or talents that you don’t inherently have, too. We just work on awareness, focus and replacing old patterns with new ones. But, as I always say, please please please don’t try to take on the world in one giant step. Identify ONE area where you can improve and practice it until it becomes habitual and nearly effortless. Then, and only then, take on more. You CAN do this!!!
If you feel like you can relate to this, check out these two podcast episodes. Click the link and hit “play”. They might be just what you need to make progress towards your NEW self today. You’re Making it Worse How To Hack Your Habits
One thing I have all of my clients do is keep a food & activity journal. If friends email me for help accelerating their fat loss I insist they do it too. I get so many emails from listeners asking advice but not having any context of how they normally eat that I’m now doing fat loss consultations based on a 10-day food journal. And almost without fail, I am seeing the SAME thing in these food journals and it horrifies me.
It breaks my heart and it cuts like a knife EVERY time I see it. I see it every single day.
What is it? It’s not oreos or frankenfoods – it is the INTENSLEY negative emotion, guilt, regret & shame associated with food. I sat down with a friend a few weeks ago after reviewing her 10 day food journal and I said, “listen – this amount of beating yourself up, feeling guilty, shame – that intensity of negative emotion is reserved for killing kittens or hitting an old lady with your car – This intensity of emotion has no place being associated with food of all things!” Good grief, I don’t care if you ate 7 pizzas and 14 pints of ice cream! It’s just food! Hear me! It is just food!!!!
I get it. You had a bad day, you made a bad decision or two or three or fifty seven. I understand and I’ve been there. And I’ve beat myself up for it – but what purpose does it serve? Does it make it better? NO WAY!!! It makes it worse! It is a vicious cycle that actually makes that behavior MORE LIKELY to happen again. Not less likely! I’m not even kidding.
Let me explain why. Here’s the scenario. You want to lose weight. You want to burn fat. You’re motivated. You’re determined. And then you have 4 slices of pizza, a bowl of ice cream and later go scouring for cookies – which you find and devour even though you aren’t hungry.
The second the last bite is swallowed you are beating yourself up. “I suck. Why did I do that? This is why I’m fat. I’m so gross. I feel so gross. I feel awful. I have no self control. Crap, why did I DO that??? I wasted all my progress. Now I have to be even more strict. Why do I always do this? Ah! That wasn’t worth it! Why did that happen? I suck. I always do this. I did it AGAIN!!!!!” Do you understand what message you are sending to yourself? Think about it. The entire time you are feeling guilt, shame, remorse, regret, frustration – you are sending incredibly dangerous and specific messages to your brain: You failed. You are a failure. You always mess up. You always overeat. You have no self control. You fall into the same trap over and over again. You suck. You always binge when you’re stressed. You have no self control once you get started. You can’t have pizza without losing your mind.
YOU ARE ACTIVELY CREATING THAT REALITY BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU TALK TO YOURSELF! YOU ARE MAKING YOUR BRAIN BELIEVE THAT’S HOW YOU OPERATE! So, the next time you have pizza, your brain remembers: Hey Elizabeth – you have no self control. Once you start you can never stop. You live on this slippery slope and hang on tight because you’re on it now. You always overeat. You always lose control. You can’t stop. Where are the cookies?
So….you do it again. And then the guilt starts. And then you reinforce those messages all over again! You created this belief system with your own thoughts. That’s the bad news. And the good news. Because you can create a different thought pattern and therefore a different reality.
I am going to get to how you can change this pattern, but first I want to make an important point. I do not have children yet but I hope to one day. And I know this: I was not born with negative associations towards food. I was not born to associate guilt and shame to food. That is a learned behavior. You don’t develop it on your own. You learn it from somewhere. Maybe it’s your friends, maybe it’s TV. Maybe it’s your parents. And I know I can’t control everything in my future child’s life but I know this: I will not contribute to them developing unhealthy positive or negative associations to food. If you are acting like you have to “earn” a cookie or “make up for” pizza or “feel guilty” about ice cream – your kids see that, feel that, learn that and will very likely model that. I am not condemning parents – I can’t even image how hard a job that is, but I do want everyone to be aware of how this impacts other people as well as how it impacts ourselves. Much of my struggle with obesity, food obsession and very, very unhealthy dieting practices, poor self image and depression came from inappropriate emotional associations with food that I developed from my home environment.
So what do you do? How do you overcome this? I get it – it’s a natural reaction – for years, many of us have created these positive and negative associations with food – I’m good if I eat a salad and a piece of fish. I’m bad if I have pasta and bread sticks. How about: I’m human either way and my motivation, potential and self-worth are not in any way influenced by what I eat or don’t eat. How about: I make good choices and I make not so stellar choices but I’m learning from each choice.
Stop making excuses and justifying the choices you aren’t proud of
Let’s stop making excuses or trying to justify a decision we wish we hadn’t made. If you didn’t plan dinner (or your plans fell through) and you defaulted to Taco Bell – ok. Fine. So you ate taco bell. That is neither good or bad – it’s Taco Bell. Please stop with the justification and/or excuses. The “well, I just didn’t make it to the grocery store” or “it was a bad day and in the moment I just couldn’t stop myself” or “the kids were being crazy and I just broke down” – listen, it is what it is. It is Taco Bell. It is not a reflection of your self worth, discipline or potential and the justification or excuses aren’t necessary. Enjoy the meal. If you want to choose a different response next time then look at all the factors that contributed to the choice and make a plan to respond differently next time. Next time I’m going to remember that Thursdays are crazy with my schedule and I’m not as motivated or organized at the end of the week so I’m going to start doing Chipotle take out on Thursday nights or having a rotisserie chicken in the fridge to make with some sweet potatoes or putting a meal in the crockpot every Thursday morning.
Focus on being AWARE of your negative and positive associations with food
I know they are deeply rooted. I know they often start going through your mind automatically and you hardly notice them. But, sometimes you’ll notice and when you do, I want you to replace them. And the more you do that, the more often you’ll notice them and the more chances you’ll have to replace them. What do you replace those unhealthy, unproductive associations with? Well, if you’re thinking – “I’m so fat. I am an emotional eater. Such and such is a slippery slope. Once I start with this, I can’t stop. I lose my control around x. I sabotage myself.” STOP THE TAPE. STOP THE TAPE. STOP THE TAPE. What do you want your brain to know about you? About your choices? About your relationship with food? Write those things down. Recite them. Commit them to memory. Flood your mind with those thoughts and affirmations and don’t you dare stop. Don’t stop. Keep going.Replace your thoughts with things like: I am strong and healthy. I’m in control of my choices. I take responsibility for every choice I make. I am motivated and I am improving every day. I am so excited to create my healthier self.
Make your indulgences a conscious decision
Don’t just let it happen and respond later. Sometimes we just act on instinct and respond later. Learn to take a second to pause between your impulse to eat and the act of eating. Sometimes we let our animal brain takeover.See M&Ms. Want M&Ms. Grab M&Ms. Shove M&Ms down throat. Feel guilty. It happens in seconds. It happens without thought. Choose to create a space for thought. And the thought isn’t so that you’ll talk yourself out of the M&Ms. It’s so that you can CHOOSE them instead of just responding instinctively. You are a rational, evolved human. Act accordingly. Build in a pause. When you notice an urge or a craving, take just a second to pause and reflect. What do I want? Do I really want it? Is it worth it? Is there something I want more? If you want them,choose them and own the choice without guilt or regret. It is a choice. It just food. But, do you really want it or are you just lusting for it based on instinct? When you build in that pause, I guarantee you’ll choose “no thanks” more than you currently are because you’re allowing yourself time to pause and think about it. That’s a good thing. For me, I’ve used several different strategies to learn to pause and think. Sometimes I’ll make myself wait 5-10 minutes to see if I still want it. Or, I’ll journal for 30 second to a minute before hand. Other times, I’ll make myself stop and read my goals before indulging. If I still want it after 5 minutess or after journaling or reading my goals – great – I’ll enjoy it without guilt. Often times, just that pause and reflection time is enough to stop.
I hope this was helpful. Like I said at the start – the guilt, shame, negative emotion – they just aren’t warranted. They aren’t helping and they are holding you back. We teach those associations to our friends, our kids, our family – and that is very dangerous. Work on this. Eliminate any and all unhealthy associations. What you eat or don’t eat doesn’t make you disciplined, motivated, successful or productive – or not. It’s just food. You didn’t kill a kitten, after all.
Hey friends! So here’s the deal: my good buddy Keri Mantie and I hosted a webinar and the feedback was awesome! Many people felt like we really understood them, we understood their struggles and challenges and were excited about the healthier, sustainable approach we shared with them. The real takeaway of the webinar is pretty straight forward. Most people go about weight loss from a “decision” standpoint instead of a “habit” standpoint. You set out to do this, that and the other thing. You battle against temptation and you try to harness every ounce of willpower you have. What happens? You burn out. You exhaust your willpower and after a few days, weeks, or months you find yourself right back where you started with the your old, less than healthy habits. Why does that happen? Because we never take the time to build habits. The approach I take with my 1:1 clients and the approach Keri and I are teaching in our new program is based on implementing ONE change at a time. We encourage you to practice it every day. Practice, practice, practice. It’s just one thing, so practice it on your good days, your bad days, your stressful days and your busy days. Over time, it becomes effortless. It’s a part of your routine just like having a cup of coffee or locking the door as you leave the house. Once it is a habit, guess what? It takes FAR less energy and effort. It is easy. THEN we add more. Then we identify the next high impact activity and we follow the same process. Using your willpower is exhausting. It’s not sustainable. Establishing habits frees you from that process and that’s why Keri and I used that as the foundation for our new fat loss habit implementation program.
Obviously we don’t want anybody to be left out so I’ve created a nifty little blog post for ya with the webinar recording (we started the recording right after our intros). If you have ever wondered why you aren’t getting results or have ever felt tired of bouncing back and forth between “strict pursuit” and “total avoidance” you’ve gotta check this out. If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to ask! That’s why I’m here!
It’s worth watching – it could save you years of yo-yo dieting and money wasted on ineffective, unsustainable diet plans!
In this episode we’re talking about calories. Is there a magic number you should shoot for? How many calories should you be eating for fat loss? Are all calories created equal? How Can you know if you’ve created enough of a calorie deficit to see results?
Question: “How many calories should I eat for fat loss” and “How do I know if I’ve created a calorie deficit”
Answer: There is no magic calorie number. All calories are NOT created equal. Calories are merely a unit of measurement and the quality of food makes a big difference. Food is information for our bodies and the information matters more than the total amount of calories. 2,000 calories of processed foods created a very different fat loss situation than 2,000 calories of whole foods.
Practical Implementation:
Start tracking & paying attention to the signals your body is sending you.
Track what you eat, how much & when
Track your quantity & quality of sleep
Track your body’s biofeedback (mood swings, energy, hunger & cravings)
Track your progress towards your goal (avoid using the scale as your primary indicator of progress)
Track your activity level
Work towards incorporating more whole foods that you enjoy eating and fewer processed foods. Track how these changes make you feel!
Implement smart strategies like balanced meal composition, carb timing and efficient fat loss exercise
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