I’ve been dating a guy for almost 2 years. For the first year, we were kinda long distance, but since we’ve lived in the same town, I’ve really, really wanted him to workout with me. My ex-husband didn’t share my enthusiasm for the gym. In all the years we were together, I don’t think we worked out together once. In college, my boyfriend and I worked out together regularly and I LOVED sharing that connection. We encouraged each other, cheered each other on and it felt so good to be a team, at least in that regard.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please press play below. Otherwise, keep on reading! Please note. The audio is explicit.
Ever since, I’ve really wanted working out together to be a component of my relationship. There’s something about being “in it together”, witnessing each other work hard, and getting to share a small but consistent part of our days, which otherwise are understandably separate.
Even with that strong desire, I’ve never pushed my boyfriend to join me. In fact, I rarely even brought it up. From my experience of having been pushed and pressured to lose weight, I know how terrible that feels and work hard to make sure that no one in my life feels any pressure related to food, fitness or fat loss. Ever. For any reason. Regardless of how good my intentions are.
Once every few months I’d ask, “Want to come?” as I headed to the gym, but that was the extent of it. The answer was always no…until the last week of November.
One Saturday, he asked what I was doing the next day. “Well, I’m going to open gym in the morning. Want to come?”
To my amazement, he said, “Sure.” It wasn’t an enthusiastic “sure”, but I jumped at the first sign of willingness!
I figured open gym would be a great way to ease into it without the pressure of a coach and a bunch of other members. Less structure, fewer eyes on him, something a bit more casual….except for the workout I had us do. It included a combination of deadlifts, box jumps and burpees. Hardly an easy combination, even for a seasoned CrossFit enthusiast.
It was not a soft start, but that’s kinda my style. No one has ever accused me of being subtle. 🤷🏻
He wasn’t happy. At all. Seconds into the first round of burpees I heard him say to himself, (or to me, but I ignored it) “I f*cking hate burpees!”
A couple minutes later, definitely to me this time, he angrily said through gasps for air, “This is why I wanted to join a regular gym and get in shape on my own before doing this sh*t!”
I didn’t say a word.
The cursing, complaining and displeasure continued. I was giggling on the inside, but I promise I didn’t let it show.
The next day, he went back with me – to the gym, by his own volition. He struggled through the regular class workout, taking a couple rounds off to recover before finishing with us.
The following day, he went with me again, and struggled again. After the workout, he signed up for an unlimited membership.
He gone with me 5-6 days every week since then. It’s been nearly 6 weeks.
He’d be the first to tell you that he’s not good at CrossFit. He’s not. I agree.
He’d be the first to tell you that it’s outside his comfort zone and he doesn’t know what’s doing half the time. It’s a hit to his ego.
He’d also be the first to tell you that he’s so glad he started going and absolutely plans to continue.
Why?
Why is it that people get so enthusiastic about CrossFit (or other similar things that outsiders might call “extreme” or “cult like”)? Biased side note – people who refer to CrossFit as a cult are always people who have never been part of the CrossFit community. I’ve never understood how you can make such strong assertions about something you haven’t experienced, but I digress….
Why do we fall in love with doing hard things once we step past fear & doubt and start doing them?
It’s not about the barbell.
It’s not about becoming an elite athlete.
There are two things I believe make it so addictive:
The community
The experience of exceeding your expectations
It’s not that he fell in love with CrossFit. I haven’t fallen in love with CrossFit.
It’s not about CrossFit at all. You become part of a community and fall in love with the experience of exceeding your own expectations.
I don’t do CrossFit to compete. I’m not trying to become a perfect physical specimen, whatever that is.
Most people aren’t.
In fact, my 66-year-old mother joined a CrossFit box this summer. She loves it. Like my boyfriend, she immediately fell into a consistent routine and really, really enjoys it.
Why?
Because it feels AMAZING to exceed your expectations and do hard things you weren’t sure you could do it.
That’s why I love it, too.
Inspired by CrossFit, that’s the vibe I work so hard to re-create in my Primal Potential Masters Club and, increasingly so, in my 12 Weeks to Transformation.
I’m not trying to convince you to start CrossFit. I’m definitely not trying to convince you to join my 12 Weeks to Transformation. Part of what makes these communities so amazing is that the people who are there want to be there. No one makes them go or twisted their arm.
I am, however, encouraging you to find SOME community that encourages you, daily, to exceed your own expectations! Whether it’s CrossFit, my 12 WT or something local to you, I want you to not only be part of a strong, positive community, but also one that encourages you to exceed your expectations and work hard every.single.day.
What is my food philosophy? What is yours? Do you have one? Are you living like it?
I talk a lot about food and share a lot of the way I eat and the way I don’t eat, but today I want to share with you exactly what my food philosophy is.
It’s not about macros. It’s not about calories. It’s not even about fat loss. You might be surprised by a few things and I’m so excited to share it with you!
Before we dive into the episode: today I shared an opportunity for you to take a sneak peak inside the winter 12 Weeks to Transformation! While the podcast is mostly about information and strategy, the 12 WT is all about action. It’s about getting off the sidelines, into the game, and returning to action every day. In addition to weekly challenges, a guided daily journal, a private Facebook group and weekly live Q&As, I also share short daily coaching audio messages to help you return to your intentions each day, no matter what’s going on in your life. Want to experience 5 days of those short coaching messages? Share your email address here and you’ll get coaching messages right to your inbox for the next 5 days!
It’s the final episode of 2018 and today I’m sharing my process of reflecting on the past year and creating priorities and plans for the one to come. A year-end review is something I’ve come to love and enjoy at the end of every year. In fact, I’ve been doing a month-end review for the last several months and I absolutely plan to continue.
Join me today to not only hear the structure I follow in these reviews, but also for my reflection on 2018 and my personal and professional plans for the new year!
Before we dive into the episode: today I shared an opportunity for you to take a sneak peak inside the winter 12 Weeks to Transformation! While the podcast is mostly about information and strategy, the 12 WT is all about action. It’s about getting off the sidelines, into the game, and returning to action every day. In addition to weekly challenges, a guided daily journal, a private Facebook group and weekly live Q&As, I also share short daily coaching audio messages to help you return to your intentions each day, no matter what’s going on in your life. Want to experience 5 days of those short coaching messages? Share your email address here and you’ll get coaching messages right to your inbox for the next 5 days!
I started creating New Year’s Resolutions when I was just 7 or 8 years old. I had amazing, ambitious intentions. However, my resolutions always seemed to function a lot like a match. Before a match is lit, it holds so much promise. Once lit, there’s a beautiful burst of fire. Almost as quickly as it’s lit, it’s extinguished and becomes nothing more than a piece of trash.
If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click play below. Otherwise, just keep on reading.
Here are a few of the fundamental problems with the New Year’s Resolutions of my past.
There was no sense of urgency. Setting a goal for the year meant that there was always “time”. I’d talk myself out of action in January and February because I still had months and months to make it happen.
I rarely moved from strong intention to consistent action. A resolution, to me, was more like a wish. I wished to lose weight, to save money, to get more organized. But, intention doesn’t create change.
I forgot about them. After a few weeks of kind of trying or putting things off because there was still plenty of time, I’d get distracted by something else in life until I came upon the list of resolutions 8 months later.
I was biting off more than I could chew. My aspirations often exceeded my willingness to change. I wasn’t ready or willing to totally overhaul my diet or my finances, even though I wanted the result it would create. My approach to New Year’s Resolutions was essentially the same as someone who has never run deciding to run a marathon but totally unwilling to lace up and go for a jog.
My New Year’s Resolutions, no matter how great the intentions behind them, were met with delays and distractions, until they were nothing more than a forgotten list of broken promises.
I couldn’t continue pursuing a failing strategy. More accurately, I wouldn’t. I wasn’t willing to. I didn’t want the same lack of results.
I wrote at length in my book (coming January 10th!) about pursuing change and improvements via evolution, not revolution. Not resolution.
I needed small, actionable steps. I needed to focus on the day I was in, the present moment and all it’s potential, instead of an aspirational future goal.
I wanted to commit to the process – to live a certain way – instead of attaching to a particular outcome.
In episode 549 of the podcast, I’ll be sharing my year-end review process but for today, I want to share the evolutions I’m choosing as I go into 2019.
Evolution Versus Revolution Versus Resolution
From my experience, a resolution is an intention. It’s a wish or aspiration. It could even be as strong as a decision, but even decisions are worthless if we don’t act on them and see them through. Resolutions have never worked for me.
A revolution is an overhaul. A dramatic change. It’s extreme. Revolutions have never worked for me. The more extreme and intense the strategy, generally, the less sustainable it has been for me.
Evolution is gradual. Evolution requires action. Something is happening. It’s not dramatic, it’s not intense but it is both powerful and impactful.
As I go into 2019, I’m continuing my own personal and professional evolution.
It’s all about process improvement, not outcome attachment.
It’s not about doing more things or bigger things, it’s about doing better things.
It’s not about being more productive, it’s about being more fulfilled.
I’m not here to tell you that you should take the path of evolution, but I’m happy to share what it looks like for me and the various evolutions I’m creating in my life.
There was a lot of rushing in 2018. A lot of busyness. A lot of to-do lists and tasks. I want to move beyond busy and into fulfilled. Joyful. Happy.
My evolution is about how I want to live my days, not what I want to achieve at the end of them.
Personal Evolution
In general: More fun. I’ve gone through most of my life with days that are about productivity and “fun” is something that happens intermittently. Sure, I value productivity. But I also believe I can create a life where fun happens every single day. I’m pursuing that this year.
In love: I’m working to evolve my thinking away from the ideas of “the right way” and “the wrong way”. I have ideas in my head, largely shaped from past experiences, about the way things “should” be. The way communication should be. The way intimacy should be. The way commitment should be. I want to operate from a blank slate. How do I want things to be? What can we try? How can we break out of “convention” and explore what works for us? How can I focus on all that is right instead of all I’ve decided is “wrong”? I want to let go of everything that doesn’t bring me joy and peace and seek out more things that do!
Questions I’ll be asking myself:
How can I make this more fun?
What was the most fun I had today?
How can I create something I want in my relationship? How can I be part of the solution?
Professional Evolution
I’m evolving from having a “hustle” to having a business. Yes, I am self-employed, but up until this point, Primal Potential has relied almost entirely on my time and effort. I want to put more systems in place and I want to look closely at what I really love doing and what I don’t love doing and make some changes accordingly. I want to invest more time and energy into writing my next books, and that will require some sacrifices. I’m ready to make them.
I want to do less and do it better. I want to spend more hours of the day working on my business than working in it. I’ve always worked “on” the business, but that has been secondary to hustling to work “in” it. That’s changing this year. The majority of my work hours will be spent making things better and more efficient. The minority of my hours will be spent on tasks and deliverables.
Questions I’ll be asking myself:
Does this contribute to the way I want to spend my days?
How can I make this easier?
Where is the intersection of maximum impact and maximum freedom?
Is there a system for this?
Make sure to tune into episode 549 of the Primal Potential podcast (airs Monday December 31st) to hear all about my 2018 reflections and my 2019 intentions!
We are so quick to spread ideas that are negative. We’re quick to share about the problems in our lives or the things that upset us, and while I think being open is valuable, I also think it’s high time to start spreading some ideas that make us better – that make us happier and healthier while improving all the relationships in our lives (especially the relationships we have with ourselves). How’s that for a big ‘ol run-on sentence?
In today’s episode, I’m sharing 10 powerful thoughts I strongly believe are ideas worth spreading and I hope we’ll do just that! I hope we’ll practice them, we’ll embrace them and we’ll share them with people we love by way of our own example.
Do you have an idea you believe is worth spreading? Share it with me by tagging me on Instagram with a picture of this episode playing on your device and tell me what idea you believe is worth spreading!
Here’s to creating change, one moment at a time, by embracing these 10 ideas worth spreading!
