I understand if you’re skeptical. A few years ago, if you had told me that overcoming my limiting beliefs was the key to lasting fat loss, I’d have dismissed you. I’d have rolled my eyes at your “woo woo” bullshit.
But, it was true.
Yes, I had a food issue. I had an over-eating issue. I had an all-or-nothing issue. I had an emotional eating issue. However, those issues were symptoms of an underlying problem tied to my own limiting beliefs.
I am certain that one of the primary reasons people are inconsistent and fail to create change (even when they want it desperately) is their pattern of focusing on changing their choices instead of focusing on changing their beliefs.
You can’t escape this true:
Your choices stem from what you believe. Your actions, decisions, reactions and thoughts stem from what you believe.
If you choose to believe and focus on the problem and the limitation, you’re going to move in that direction. You’re going to act in accordance with those thoughts.
For most of my life, my limiting beliefs about food and my body were pervasive and constant:
I’m an emotional eater
I’m totally an all-or-nothing person
I can lose weight, I just can’t keep it off
My metabolism is jacked up
I turn to food for comfort
I’ve always been “the big girl”
Wouldn’t ya know: my body reflected those beliefs! My choices reflected those beliefs!
In my late twenties, I decided to get out of debt. I had student loans, car loans and some miscellaneous credit cards. It took a little over a year, but through discipline and determination, I made it happen. My beliefs about the process were a huge part of it. I thought:
I’m making this happen
There will be ups and downs, but I’m not quitting
It’s worth the short term sacrifice for the long-term reward
I’m not stopping until the debt is gone
What would have happened without those beliefs? What if I thought about getting out of debt the way I was thinking about food and my weight?
What’s the point?
It’ll take too long
Something always comes up!
I messed up my budget this month – I’ve totally blown in
If I had those limiting beliefs about money, it would have never happened! Ever!
Fortunately, you are the thinker. You are not your thoughts. You can absolutely overcome any and all over your limiting beliefs if you’re willing to do the work.
Begin by identifying what you want.
What is the change you want to create?
Who do you want to be?
What does the ideal version of you look/act/feel like?
Identify the beliefs that are limiting your ability to create that change.
What thoughts or feelings run counter to those goals and desires?
In what ways are you blocking your belief or limiting your potential?
Establish new thoughts that drive new possibilities and expand your potential.
If you were that version of yourself, what would you believe?
What is possible?
How can you support and encourage the change you want to make?
Admittedly, this is just a starting point. Sometimes, your limiting beliefs feel like fact. Often, the new beliefs don’t feel real, true or possible for you. That’s normal and it’s part of the process. In fact, it just goes to show the influence of those limiting beliefs and reinforces your need to break free from them!
If you want to take the next step in overcoming your limiting thought patterns, listen to episode 571 of the Primal Potential podcast. Not only will we go deeper into the patterns of these beliefs, you’ll hear me coach current clients through their own limiting beliefs and learn more about working with me to do the same in your own life!
Are your limiting beliefs holding your back? Here’s the reality: your life is a reflection of your beliefs and I think it’s time to upgrade!
I am 100% convinced that the primary reason people are inconsistent and continue to struggle with the same change for years is that they are focused on changing their choices while neglecting to change their beliefs. For example, if you fundamentally believe and continue to make a case for the fact that you’re an emotional eater, your choices will align with your belief.
Here’s the reality about all beliefs, including limiting beliefs:
“Your body is a barometer of your belief system.” ~ Pam Grout
Your life reflects your belief system. Your limiting beliefs will limit your choices and your ability to grow!
It’s time to edit your beliefs and upgrade your identity! In today’s episode we’re diving into the impact that our belief system has on our choices, identifying the beliefs that hold you back and talking about how we can fundamentally change what you believe about yourself and your life.
Whether you think you’re a drama queen or you’re sure you’re not, you MUST listen to today’s podcast! Drama is draining and every single one of us has room for improvment in our creation of and response to drama.
Drama takes the form of assumptions, gossip, worry, rumination over the past and so much more. In case you’re still convinced that you’re not a drama queen, let’s take a minute to get on the same page.
Clarifying for the Drama Queen:
Cy Wakeman defines drama as emotional waste and describes drama as mentally wasteful thought processes and unproductive behaviors that keep you from your potential. Drama includes:
Lack of ownership, accountability or committment
Blaming circumstances or other people for your lack of results
Arguing with circumstances that are non-negotiable
Resistance to change
Spreading gossip
Projecting (and believing) made up stories instead of focusing on facts
Defensiveness to feedback
Dealing with hurt feelings
Questions for the Drama Queen:
Is this mine or someone else’s?
Am I doing something productive about it?
Is this my business or someone else’s business?
Am I trying to control someone else’s thoughts or behaviors?
What actually happened without my story?
What do I know for sure?
What’s my part in this?
What are my ideas for resolving the issue?
Am I grounded in reality?
What am I doing today to resolve this?
Other powerful ideas from “No Ego” and today’s episode:
“Venting is your ego’s way of avoiding self-reflection.”
“Your ego is brilliant at finding insult where none is intended.”
In October 2019, our relationship with Thrive Market changed. They decided to put their marketing dollars in avenues outside of podcasting but we still think they’re a good choice if you’re looking to save money on health & personal care products.
Though I consider myself a change maker in my own life and the lives of my clients, it definitely was not always that way. In fact, if you had told me just a few years ago that I’d have created these massive changes in my health, finances and life in general, I’d have rolled my eyes in annoyance. If you had told me I could lose over 100 pounds and keep it off, I’d have seriously doubted you. If you had told me I could both get out of debt and create wealth in a few short years, I’d have told you it was impossible. If you had told me I could leave my secure job and double my income in less than two years, I’d have told you there was simply no way. I’d have been wrong.
I think you’re wrong, too. Your potential is so much greater than you think and you’ve been drastically underestimating your ability to be a change maker in your life. I’d like to help you change that.
If you’d rather listen to this than read it, please hit the play button below. Otherwise, keep on reading!
Most of my life was a sad mess. On the outside, it probably didn’t look too bad. I had a job, a career. I was in debt but I was living the middle-income life. I certainly had food to eat, a car to drive and a roof over my head.
What wasn’t so obvious to the outside observer was that I was completely miserable. I felt trapped in a prison I had created.
I was obese and felt trapped by my weight, my desperate desire to lose weight and the grip of my own excuses, doubts and delays. I was making a decent income but was under a ton of financial pressure, living paycheck to paycheck and hoping that there wasn’t a need for a new tire or other unexpected expense that I just couldn’t afford.
My past failures to lose weight discouraged the heck out of me and the idea of my future being any different was completely overwhelming.
I wanted a life so different from the one I was living but at the same time, I wasn’t really doing what it would take to create it.
Sure, I read every diet book and initiated 1,000+ attempts to lose weight. I created budgets that I’d fail to stick to…all the things you think you’re supposed to do when you want to change your life. Except every week was just like the week before: some good days, some awful days and very little progress.
I would tell myself, “I’ve tried everything!” Sure, that might have soothed my fragile ego, but it wasn’t the complete version of the truth.
I hadn’t tried everything. I hadn’t tried consistency. I hadn’t tried changing my mindset. I hadn’t tried working with my body instead of against it.
I hadn’t tried being stronger than my excuses.
“I’ve tried everything” was just one of my many ways I talked myself out of progress. I was talking myself out of a different approach. I was talking myself out of my potential.
Sometimes I’d wake up full of fire and motivation to create change in my life. I’d create an elaborate plan and take a few action steps but it never lasted long.
Every “slip” would become a “slide” and that cycle eroded my trust in myself and further convinced me that change wasn’t possible for me.
It didn’t last long because I was focused on transactions more than transformation.
Maybe you’ve taken this less-than-effective (but super common) approach, too. When you focus on transactions, you focus on changing what you do.
Eat less
Exercise more
Count calories
Cut carbs
Weigh daily
Stop snacking
Drink less alcohol
Drink more water
Spend less
Make a budget
Save more
Earn more
Simplify
The transactional approach was never sustainable for me because I wasn’t fundamentally changing how I made decisions, how I thought about excuses or how I showed up in my life.
When you focus on transformation, you’re focused on optimizing who you are. How you think. How you feel.
I’m a creative, energetic problem solver.
I’m a victor, not a victim
I want to take amazing care of myself today
Food is my solution only when hunger is my problem
I want to feel full of energy
I make choices that make me feel more confident
What I want most drives my choices more than what I want now
While that’s just the tip of the iceberg, that shift is how I became a change maker in my life.
Becoming a change maker requires that you focus on the transformation of your mind and not the transactions of your body.
This is the very essence of the work I do with my clients.
We focus on happiness as the path to health instead of health as the path to happiness.
We focus on working with ourselves instead of against ourselves. Shame is not a change maker strategy.
Willpower and discipline aren’t the tools for permanent change.
There is joy in the journey when you’re on the right path!
When you take the transformational approach, you build trust in yourself. You create a sense of freedom – you’re no longer owned by the process and the struggle. You create a growing confidence in your choices and your ability to find answers from your own body (instead of relying on someone else’s opinion).
Whatever change you want to create, I’m telling you right now that with a transformational approach, you have the ability to create it. You have the ability to maintain it. You have the ability to enjoy the journey and I’d love to be part of it with you!
You need to learn how to let go. I need to learn how to let go.
This is, without question, one of my favorite episodes of the Primal Potential podcast. This is one of these most powerful episodes of the podcast.
For you to benefit from this episode as much as possible, there are a few things I want you to consider before we begin.
Do you need to learn how to let go of your excuses?
Do you need to learn how to let go of your past?
Do you need to learn how to let go of your anger? Your fear? Your feelings of rejection?
Do you need to learn how to let go of a particular habit or behavior?
What are you ready to let go of?
On today’s episode, you’ll hear an incredibly raw, real and powerful conversation with relational alchemist, Stef Sifandos. Through his programs and his coaching, he helps people create transformation through connection. He’s one of the most clear-minded and genuine humans I’ve ever met and I’m honored to share our conversation with you!
Today’s episode is proudly brought to you by Fabletics! If you get excited about workout clothes that are comfortable, cute and completely affordable, Fabletics is going to blow your mind! When you register through fabletics.com/primalpotential you can take advantage of their special offer – 2 pairs of leggings for $24! And you can check out some of my favorites here.
