Resources & FAQS
I do so well all day long but then the wheels fall off at night. It's like I stop caring! How can I be more consistent in the evenings?
I can absolutely help you help yourself with this one. First, set aside some time to listen to episode 548 of the podcast. Don’t listen while you’re driving or working out. This episode is a tool to help you change, not just a passive thing to listen to and learn from. Listen when you can sit with a pen & paper. Think of it as homework.
In that episode, I talk about how I work through this with my clients. To give you a headstart – the struggle comes from the fact that you are more committed to the problem than to the solution. When you notice your attention on the problem (evenings are rough) move from the idea of the problem in general to a practice of the specific solution.
For example: what am I able and willing to do TONIGHT that is an improvement for me? If this still sounds vague – remember – I want you to listen to episode 548.
Within the 12 Weeks to Transformation we also have specific challenges to help improve sticky times of day.
Other helpful episodes will include:
I can't seem to get motivated. Can you help me get unstuck?
I want you to think about motivation in the way you’d think of fire. I first heard this beautiful description in Brendon Burchard’s The Motivation Manifesto.
You strike a match. Instantly, you have fire. But, if you don’t do anything, it’s gone within seconds. Unless you are active and consistent in building that fire, it will go out.
Motivation is the same thing. We often treat it like the match and feel defeated when it goes out. “Oh! I was motivated but now I’m not” and then we wait until it “strikes” again.
Your motivation will absolutely ignite and wane. That is natural. Motivation is something you CREATE. You must participate it.
Motivation is not a pre-requisite for action – you don’t have to wait until you’re motivated. Motivation flows from action. The more action we take, the more effort we apply to the creation of the change we desire, the more motivation we will feel.
What can you do to get yourself motivated? Well, what can you do today to make progress towards your goal? If you were totally crushing it, if you were exceeding your own expectations consistently, what would that look like? Write that down. Make a list and be specific. Specificity is a super power.
Of the things on that list, which are you able and wiling to do today?
Here are some podcast episodes I’ve done on motivation. Check them out to help you along in this process.
I'm guilty of learning a lot but not doing much (if anything) with what I know I should do. How can I get myself to get off the sidelines and into the game?
I can totally relate to this! it was my personal operating system for most of my life! Heck, I walked away from a near full scholarship in Latin & Greek to study nutrition because I thought that if I knew more, I’d magically lose weight. It didn’t work. In fact, the more I learned, the less action I took!
First, learning feels productive. We can give ourselves credit for learning even when we aren’t taking action and making progress towards our goals.
This is exactly why I wrote Chasing Cupcakes – to help people emphasize ACTION over more learning. It’s a tool to help people CHANGE instead of a resource to help them learn.
In addition to reading Chasing Cupcakes, my #1 piece of advice is to focus on the day you’re in and what you’re able and willing to do instead of your life or goals in general.
I use my journal as a tool for this. Use questions to direct you to action:
- What are you able and willing to do today to create progress?
- If you were taking action, what would that look like? With those specifics on paper, which are you able and willing to do today?
You don’t have to work your way to a place where you’ve become an action person. You need to choose to be an action person today.
How will you do that?
If you feel like those strategies are too vague, get started with Chasing Cupcakes today! If you buy it on Kindle or Audible, you can start in just minutes!
You talk a lot about journaling - how can I get started?
Fundamentally, journaling is about paying attention. Most of us are in the habit of going through our days with our attention locked outside ourselves. We pay attention to other people, to our jobs and to things happening in the world, while giving little attention our own choices and how they make us feel. We rarely pause to question whether our excuses are true or necessary or if our feelings are coming from facts or from what we’ve added to the facts.
The simplest start to journaling is to document what you notice. I started very simply: I wrote down what I ate and what I noticed about how I felt. I wasn’t calorie or macro counting, but if I had a bottle of Diet Coke, I’d write it down. If I was grumpy, I’d note that. If I was super tired, I’d put it in my blank journal.
Sometimes people worry that they’ll “miss” something. That they’ll forget to write it down. That’s totally fine. This is a practice in paying attention. At first, you’ll probably miss a lot. You’ll never write it all down and that’s not the goal. You’re simply practicing paying attention.
Recently, my journaling has gotten more proactive and specific. I practice journaling about the type of person I want to go through the day as. This was triggered from some thoughts shared by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits and one of my clients and I share the details of our process in episode 559 of the podcast. That’s absolutely an incredible place to start. I also shared that I’m going to be creating an actual identity journal prior to the next 12 Weeks to Transformation so make sure you’re on the wait list for that group!
What's your take on calorie & macro counting?
The calorie model of fat loss is incomplete, at best. At worst, it’s flawed and inaccurate. There is no doubt that how much you eat matters. If you give your body more fuel than it needs, it will store the excess. However, counting calories is NOT the most effective or informative approach to pursue when your goal is fat loss or changing your body shape. It overlooks how fat loss actually happens and the influence of different types of foods on hormones that either allow or disallow fat burning.
A calorie isn to a calorie in the game of fat loss. They aren’t created equal.
The same is true of macronutrients.
Not all carbs are created equal in the impact they have on your ability to burn fat.
Not all calories are equal in the impact they have on your ability to burn fat.
I have done a couple deep dives on calorie and macro counting and where they really miss the mark. Start there. Take a close listen to episodes 062 and 329 of the podcast. When you’re done, listen to the Fat Loss Basics series on the show: episodes 121-126.
My hormones are totally out of whack - can you point me to episodes that might be helpful?
I’d be happy to! I’ve experienced extreme hormonal imbalances throughout my life including poly-cystic ovarian syndrome and estrogen dominance. The great news about hormones is that they are dramatically and quickly influenced by what we eat, how we sleep, our stress levels and countless other factors that are largely within our control.
Click here for a hormones & fat loss ebook you can download for free. You can also listen to an entire hormonal mini-series from the Primal Potential podcast.
Do you have a basic nutrition getting-started guide?
Why yes, I do! You can download it here.
You can also listen to the following episodes of the podcast for additional information.
I know what to do but I'm super inconsistent. How can I get myself to be more consistent?
Lean in. I have a super valuable perspective shift on this:
Consistency isn’t a level you reach. It’s not a place you arrive at or a badge you earn.
Consistency is a decision you make today. It’s a decision you make again and again and again.
Today and every day is a choice to practice being consistent.
Begin by focusing on the solution instead of the problem.
You want to be consistent. What does it look like to be consistent?
Now, get specific to the day you’re in.
What does it look like to be consistent TODAY? Be specific.
Looking at your list (not just some vague, aspirational thoughts in your head) – which of those things are you willing to do today?
That’s your practice. That’s your redirect when your attention is on the problem – inconsistency.
Also check out episode 514 of the podcast.
Do you work with clients one-on-one?
I used to exclusively work with clients one-on-one. That’s how I started and it was awesome. Through experience, I realized that there were some foundational principles and mindset strategies I was using repeatedly and that’s why I developed the 12 Weeks to Transformation and Breaking Barriers.
I work with 1-2 clients one-on-one each quarter (it’s a minimum 3-month committment) but they have to have been through either Breaking Barriers or the 12 Weeks to Transformation first. That ensures that they are serious about doing the work and it helps me be a good steward of their time and money – I don’t want them to pay more for basic concepts I teach in other platforms. I want to ensure that our one-on-one time together is focused on strategies and tatics that aren’t or can’t be taught in those other platforms.
If you’ve been through the 12 Weeks to Transformation or Breaking Barriers and want to talk about working with me one-on-one, shoot me an email!
I love all the empowering strategies you share on the podcast, but I have a hard time believing that change is possible for me. How do I believe in myself after I've been so unsuccessful for so long?
Personally, I don’t think you do need to believe that long-term success is possible for you.
At least, I didn’t believe it was.
Even when there’s a long term vision you don’t yet believe in, there is always something you can believe in – something positive.
For me, I started by reminding myself (instructing myself) that I was capable of one good choice.
When I felt like the road ahead was hard, I’d tell myself that I am capable of one good choice. Just one.
Over time, I graduated to one good day. I have one good day in me. One great day, even.
When we try to talk ourselves into a future vision, we don’t yet have the benefit of who we will become in the process.
In the process of you good moment, your singular good choice, your good day or good couple of days, you become a new version of yourself.
That version of yourself is capable of things that you might not understand yet, and you don’t need to.
Focus on the day you’re in and what you’re able and willing to do today.
Take a listen to episode 480 for some more help on this one.
I need a reset and I don't know where to start. I feel stuck. Can you help?
Debbie Milman says, “Excellence is the next 5 minutes.”
How can you make the next 5 minutes excellent?
Make excellent choices or do excellent work for the next 5 minutes.
“Stuck” isn’t real. It’s just something you convince yourself of.
You are always capable of 1 great choice. You are always capable of one improved moment or one step forward.
Saying you’re stuck is like pulling your car off the highway, putting it in park, taking the keys out of the ignition and saying you’re stuck. You aren’t. You just stopped.
Don’t know where to start? Anywhere.
1 great choice.
5 great minutes.
Here are a couple podcasts that will give you some more direction:
Once I make one "bad" choice, I go off the rails. How can I get myself to the point where I don't let one slip turn into a slide that lasts for hours or days?
Understand that when you tell me (or yourself) that every slip becomes a slide, you are instructing yourself. That dialogue is both descriptive and prescriptive.
When you tell me (or yourself) that if you make a couple bad choices, you throw in the towel, you are arguing for that past pattern.
When you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.
If you want to change, you’ve got to practice catching yourself in those moments when you’re projecting a past pattern onto your present and future and understand that you are free to make a different choice.
Practice, practice, practice. Redirect, redirect, redirect.
Also, download the free excuses whitepaper. It will be a massive help to you in terms of creating a change in your behavior.
I turn to food for comfort. For stress relief. Baths, walks and going to bed don't work. What can I do for healthier stress relief or to cope with emotion?
There is a difference between a solution and a distraction.
With my clients, I practice something I call “ruthless objectivity”.
If you’re stressed, I’ll say, “Why are you stressed? In one sentence, what is the problem that makes you feel stressed?”
Then I’ll ask, “What is the solution to that problem?”
Let’s say you’re stressed because you have a tight deadine at work.
What’s the solution?
Your ideas might include asking for help, getting an extension, working more efficiently, etc.
But, the solution to a tight deadline at work is not food, alcohol, shopping or complaining.
In Chasing Cupcakes I have an entire chapter about becoming a solution person. I think that is a great resource to start with!
I know you love to read - what are some books you recommend?
Can you share some of your go-to fat loss friendly meals?
Sure! I’m pretty simple so don’t expect to be wow’d with fancy recipes. That’s not my style.
My favorite vegetables are brussels sprouts, cauliflower (especially cauliflower rice) and cabbage.
I will never turn down a “keto” burrito bowl. Please don’t read much into the word keto. It’s simply a burrito bowl with cauliflower rice instead of regular rice.
I feel like eating better costs so much more money. How can I make it fit within my budget?
Eating well can cost more than not eating well, but it doesn’t have to.
The truth is, you can spend a lot of money eating well and you can spend a lot of money not eating well.
You can save money eating well. You can save money eating poorly.
I’ve done a few episodes that dive into strategies to eat well without breaking your budget:
I also shop through Thrive Market to save 20-50% on super high quality groceries!