809: Fear, Anxiety, and Imposter Syndrome

Listener-favorite, my husband Chris, is back for another podcast episode where we answer your questions (and announce the winner of the Saturday Giveaway!).

(03:35) How do I work through my fears and do the thought work to get beyond them?

Your fear is faith in the wrong ‘what if’. This idea comes from a Steven Furtick sermon; he says that ‘what if’ works both ways. If you’re afraid of the dentist, for example, and what-ifs are circling your mind, asking what if it hurts, what if I have a cavity, what if my dental work costs a lot of money? 

That fear can be very real to us but what we have to remember is that those what-if questions work both ways! There is a whole other side to explore. 

What if it doesn’t hurt? What if during your visit you meet someone and a conversation turns into a new opportunity? What if you feel great after your visit? Don’t put your faith in the wrong what-if.

I have a long time fear of needles. I despise needles but I decided to see an acupuncturist. How do I handle those fears about everything that can go wrong, with detailed thoughts of how painful and terrible the experience will be? 

I see fear as a doorway. I can stand on one side of it, telling the worst version of the story, or I can decide to live on the other side. I can agonize about the experience of being stuck with needles or I can ask different questions. What if acupuncture accelerates my healing? What if the experience cures my fear or needles?

Experiencing fear is different than experiencing danger. One is an innate, healthy response that helps us avoid harm. The other is a result of what we tell ourselves in our minds. I like to think about these thoughts as music tracks and I am the DJ. I can play myself a better song, a more helpful song.

(9:00) How do you curb Covid anxiety?

I am not an expert on Covid or virology or anything like that. My approach to dealing with Covid anxiety has been to focus on doing what is within my realm of control. I choose to focus on the brilliant machine that is my body to protect me. I choose to focus on improving my immune system.

There is no doubt that individuals with more robust immune systems are more protected against threats of illness, against viruses, the flu, bacteria. 

There is so much we can do to improve our immunity and get healthier. Quell the anxiety over the things you can’t control, like the existence of a global pandemic, with the things you believe will help you and that you can control, like wearing a mask, washing your hands, and improving your health.

From the very moment I realized that Covid was a thing, my family pivoted to limiting exposure and focusing on health, including things like sleeping, eating well, and supplementation. Those things go a long way. We don’t have to perseverate about the worst version of the story. Use your energy for what you can control.

This is just one woman’s opinion, but I aim to live fully and take care of my health, the rest is out of my control.

(14:30) How does one stop imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome comes from the notion that you don’t know enough or that you’re not smart or experienced enough to do what you’re doing, and you feel like a fake or a phony. This fear of not being good enough is rooted in comparison, fear, and insecurity, but it’s also rooted in the belief that having room to improve is a bad thing. This kind of thinking puts you at a deficit.

I could write a mile-long list of my competitors who have more clients, podcast downloads, and revenue than me, but I don’t because this kind of thinking is pointless. These comparisons have nothing to do with what I uniquely can do today. This doesn’t mean that I try to hide or ignore my weaknesses. My weaknesses are either opportunities to improve or they are simply facts that are reflective of where I am. I own them; I talk about them.

You will suffer from imposter syndrome if you are ashamed of your vulnerabilities, if you think they are somehow a liability. I don’t see my vulnerabilities as a liability I just see them as facts.

It’s cliche but true, comparison is the thief of joy—and it’s optional. We all have weaknesses, I don’t think we should hide them. My peers are where they are and that has nothing to do with where I am.

It really comes down to where your focus is. So get over feeling like an imposter by getting out of the realm of comparison.

(20:32) Why Can’t I be consistent?

You’re asking the wrong question. 

When we ask ourselves a rhetorical question, our brains automatically attempt to answer it, to give evidence and proof. Your brain is always on and working. So if you ask yourself a question like this, why can’t I be consistent, then your brain is going to give you a list all of the reasons, because you make excuses all the time, because you can’t say not to sugar. 

The problem is that this process reinforces the very thing you are trying to overcome. You’re asking the wrong question, solving for the wrong thing.

A more powerful question would be, what does it look like today to be consistent?

People tell me they want to be more consistent but when I push them to break that idea down and define it, they can’t. They tell me “I want to eat better” and “I want to work out more” but that is not specific. That tells me nothing about what consistency looks like for them.

When you say that nothing works (“what’s wrong with me?!”) you are focused purely on the problem, not the solution. Ask a different question. What does consistency looks like specifically and what you can do today?

I recently did a free training workshop on this, the replay of which is available on www.primalpotential.com/transform, where I talked about how people get stuck thinking that consistency is an aspiration. It’s not. For more specific examples, I go into a ton of detail in this workshop on the specific process for becoming consistent.

(23:13) Do you do a famous diet plan like Weight Watchers?

Short answer: No. I don’t like the notion of following someone else’s rules when it comes to food. I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all eating plans. 

Because of shifts and fluctuations, our bodies require different amounts of calories, day to day. The diet that serves me on a day where I got a lot of sleep may not be as effective on a day where I didn’t sleep well. And that’s is just one of many factors that can affect what food choices I make.

Beyond that, my goal right now is not about fat loss, but feeling amazing. To feel amazing, lately my food choices have been largely centered around whole foods, minimizing sugar, processed foods and starch, and eating veggies, plant-based fats, and proteins.

(25:35) When is the best time to eat carbs? Do I have to go 100% Keto?

My only answer I can give to this question is I don’t know. I can’t answer that question without knowing what your goals are, what your habits are, or what your exercise regimen is. It’s not fair to compare different people with varying extremes of lifestyles.

The best time to eat carbs is personal, it depends on an individual’s goals, their metabolism and body composition. For example, If you’re training for a marathon in the morning, then, yes, replacing glycogen stores around that time makes sense.

To the second question, what exactly is 80% Keto? In this episode, Chris and I joke that if you are 80% vegan then you are in fact 0% vegan. But seriously, like Chris says, you don’t have to do anything.

You can lose weight on any diet. You can lose weight as a vegan, pescatarian, vegetarian, on a keto diet, using Weight Watchers or the golden rules of carbs and fat loss, so no, you don’t have to go 100% Keto.

30:33: Announcing the Saturday Giveaway Winner

To win next Saturday’s giveaway, leave a review of the Primal Potential podcast on Apple Podcasts, review Chasing Cupcakes on Amazon, or share an episode or lesson that you’ve learned on Instagram or Facebook (be sure to tag me)!

Let Me Clear A Few Things Up

Recently, a major publication shared my story. I’m not going to say where it was published because I don’t have a lot of respect for how they did it. I could go on about that, but I’m not going to. Here’s why:

One of my personal committments as a business owner is to be relentlessly positive so instead of critiquing their process, sharing details or problems and putting them on blast, I’m just going to clarify what I want clarified.

I’ll be honest, when I first saw the piece, my heart sank. The title is something I don’t represent or believe in. Many of the recommendations are not things I stand by or would ever recommend.

However, the piece itself might bring people here and to my podcast who might not have otherwise found it and that’s awesome. I’m grateful for that. And I’ll maintain my commitment to educating & inspiring every day.

So with that perspective in mind, let me make a few things really clear:

  • I strongly encourage slow, sustainable weight loss. Nine pounds in a week is not sustainable and not something I would ever promote or suggest is reasonable. It’s not. Might you lose 9 lbs in a week when first making major changes? Sure! Most of that is water and that kind of week is a major anomaly.
  • When I talk about the golden rules of carbs and fat loss and having your carbs at night, I don’t mean cookies or ice cream. I’m all for occassional indulgences but rest assured that cookies aren’t something I recommend for health, fat loss, energy or anything else.
  • In episode 195 of the podcast I talk about how, for energy, fat loss and overall health, look to get your carbs from whole food sources and gradually work towards keeping your consumption to about one serving at that meal. Examples would be fruit or sweet potato, not processed foods.
  • Though I’m not a purist, we will be fittest, healthiest and most energetic when we aren’t indulging in sugar & treats every day. This change doesn’t have to happen immediately, but it’s something to work towards.

If you’re new to the site and want to get a good sense of my perspective on nutrition for fat loss, here are some episodes of the podcast I recommend.

Carb Timing

How To Make Breakfast A Fat Burning Meal

Primal Lunch Ideas

The Golden Rules of Carbs & Fat Loss

Carb Spillover

Always Hungry

If you ever have questions or suggestions, leave a comment!

Year of Push 4.8 It’s Not Low Carb

I can’t change what other people are willing to see & hear, but I figured I’d once again take an opportunity to explain my position on carbohydrates.

Carbohydrates are not bad. In fact, the majority of  my meals are carbohydrates. You see, vegetables are carbohydrates & if you look closely, the majority of most of my meals are….vegetables!

This is where black & white thinking is so flawed. We cannot talk about all carbs in the same way. Cabbage is a vegetable. Vegetables are carbohydrates. Therefore, cabbage would be classified a carbohydrate.

There are only 3 macronutrients (excluding alcohol): fat, carbohydrate and protein. Cabbage is not a fat. Cabbage is not a protein. It is a carbohydrate.

Pasta is also a carbohydrate. We cannot act like pasta and cabbage are the same thing. They are not. Just like Crisco & avocado are not the same thing. Both fat, yes, but not the same. Are you with me?

When we look at carbohydrates, we have to consider the water content, the fiber content, the sugar content and the starch content. (Starch, btw, is a chain of sugar).

Cabbage delivers a elicits a very different hormonal response than pasta does.

I can eat equal grams of cabbage & pasta and my blood sugar & insulin will respond very differently.

Is my diet low carb? That’s relative. “High” and “low” are relative to something else. What something else? Whatever you pick. My diet is probably high carb compared to most ketogenic diets. It’s probably low carb compared to the Standard American Diet. None of that matters.

What matters is what works for me. What matters is what works for you.

I’m not fighting against anyone’s ideology, nor am I selling you my ideology. I’m helping you establish your own.

Here’s to everyone who is open to seeing it and to patience and understanding with those who aren’t yet.

I will never, ever fight someone about this stuff. That’s not why I am here. I think the world needs more respect & understanding, not less. I think the world needs more “do what works for you” and less “who’s right & who’s wrong”. We don’t have to agree. You don’t have to like what I have to say. That’s the beautiful thing – if you don’t, there are tons of other podcasts to listen to or blogs to read.

I don’t shop at stores where I don’t like the clothes. I don’t walk around them to complain about how ugly they are. I just go somewhere else. Seems logical.

If you would like to understand this better, I’ve done a million episodes on carbohydrates and I also have a comprehensive carbohydrate strategy e-course. None of them are to push an agenda or to sell products. Rather, they are to help you understand the impact of different types of carbohydrates on YOUR body and proceed accordingly.

I choose joy. Joy is power. 

Speaking of joy – today’s workout was a nice change of pace. Definitely some muscle burn but it didn’t get me too winded.

“Mad Season”
Chest-to-Bar Pull-ups
DB Push Press (35’s/20’s)
50′ Back Rack WreckBag Lunge (50/35)

On the food front:

I was in the mood for greek yogurt after my workout so that’s what I had. Lunch was a cobb salad & dinner was brussels sprouts & grilled chicken.

Here’s to eating what works for you and makes you feel amazing.

PS: If you’re new to these posts, listen to this podcast episode to get the scoop on what changes I’m making in my life and you can start back at my first daily post here.

331: Carbs And Fat Loss

331: Carbs And Fat Loss

There is way too much confusion about carbohydrates. Too many people lump them all in the same category and act as if grams of carbs or calories are the only relevant factor. That’s not the case.

Others act as if all carbs are “bad” – also not the case.

Some suggest that carbs are essential and even when pursuing fat loss we should consume multiple servings of quality carbs each day – that is untrue for most people.

Some people suggest that your metabolism works like an accounting system and we need to consume carbs in the morning if we wish to burn them off. That reflects a fundamental misunderstanding about metabolism and macronutrient utilization.

While it can be frustrating to hear conflicting opinions, I have some good news:

  • Carb strategies for sustainable fat loss are not complex or difficult
  • Your body will never lie about works & feels best for you

In today’s episode we’re clearing up the confusion and reviewing carbohydrate metabolism & storage for those seeking any degree of fat loss.

Listen Now

Download Episode


Carb Strategies for Fat Loss  – E-Course

Why Calorie Counting Doesn’t Work

Carb Timing

Carb Tolerance

3 Stages of Carbohydrate Intolerance

The Golden Rules of Carbs & Fat Loss

Summer Fat Loss Fast Track Wait List

How To Leave A Rating & Review (thank you!!!)

331: Carbs And Fat Loss

290: What’s A Fat Loss Breakfast? Answers To Common Questions

Is breakfast the most important meal of the day?

Is there such a thing as a fat loss breakfast?

Are there certain foods that turn off your fat burning potential?

Do I have to eat breakfast?

If I put lemon in my water will I stop burning fat?

For how long should breakfast hold me over?

We’re answering all these questions and more on today’s podcast! Don’t miss it! If you want more resources on breakfast and fat loss, check out the links below.

Listen Now

Download Episode Transcript

Download Episode


Q&A 6 How To Make Breakfast A Fat Burning Meal

Episode 115: Breakfast Recipes & QA

Carbohydrate Tolerance

Stages of Carbohydrate Intolerance

What Is Bulletproof Coffee?

Dos and Don’ts of Bulletproof Coffee

Want to hop on the wait list for the spring Fat Loss Fast Track?

Check out the new Daily Motivations Podcast here.