My Boyfriend Sucks at CrossFit (and it’s perfect)

I’ve been dating a guy for almost 2 years. For the first year, we were kinda long distance, but since we’ve lived in the same town, I’ve really, really wanted him to workout with me. My ex-husband didn’t share my enthusiasm for the gym. In all the years we were together, I don’t think we worked out together once. In college, my boyfriend and I worked out together regularly and I LOVED sharing that connection. We encouraged each other, cheered each other on and it felt so good to be a team, at least in that regard.

If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please press play below. Otherwise, keep on reading! Please note. The audio is explicit. 

Ever since, I’ve really wanted working out together to be a component of my relationship. There’s something about being “in it together”, witnessing each other work hard, and getting to share a small but consistent part of our days, which otherwise are understandably separate.

Even with that strong desire, I’ve never pushed my boyfriend to join me. In fact, I rarely even brought it up. From my experience of having been pushed and pressured to lose weight, I know how terrible that feels and work hard to make sure that no one in my life feels any pressure related to food, fitness or fat loss. Ever. For any reason. Regardless of how good my intentions are.

Once every few months I’d ask, “Want to come?” as I headed to the gym, but that was the extent of it. The answer was always no…until the last week of November.

One Saturday, he asked what I was doing the next day. “Well, I’m going to open gym in the morning. Want to come?

To my amazement, he said, “Sure.” It wasn’t an enthusiastic “sure”, but I jumped at the first sign of willingness!

I figured open gym would be a great way to ease into it without the pressure of a coach and a bunch of other members. Less structure, fewer eyes on him, something a bit more casual….except for the workout I had us do. It included a combination of deadlifts, box jumps and burpees. Hardly an easy combination, even for a seasoned CrossFit enthusiast.

It was not a soft start, but that’s kinda my style. No one has ever accused me of being subtle. 🤷🏻

He wasn’t happy. At all. Seconds into the first round of burpees I heard him say to himself, (or to me, but I ignored it) “I f*cking hate burpees!

A couple minutes later, definitely to me this time, he angrily said through gasps for air, “This is why I wanted to join a regular gym and get in shape on my own before doing this sh*t!

I didn’t say a word.

The cursing, complaining and displeasure continued. I was giggling on the inside, but I promise I didn’t let it show.

The next day, he went back with me – to the gym, by his own volition. He struggled through the regular class workout, taking a couple rounds off to recover before finishing with us.

The following day, he went with me again, and struggled again. After the workout, he signed up for an unlimited membership.

He gone with me 5-6 days every week since then. It’s been nearly 6 weeks.

He’d be the first to tell you that he’s not good at CrossFit. He’s not. I agree.

He’d be the first to tell you that it’s outside his comfort zone and he doesn’t know what’s doing half the time. It’s a hit to his ego.

He’d also be the first to tell you that he’s so glad he started going and absolutely plans to continue.


Why is it that people get so enthusiastic about CrossFit (or other similar things that outsiders might call “extreme” or “cult like”)? Biased side note – people who refer to CrossFit as a cult are always people who have never been part of the CrossFit community. I’ve never understood how you can make such strong assertions about something you haven’t experienced, but I digress….

Why do we fall in love with doing hard things once we step past fear & doubt and start doing them?

It’s not about the barbell.
It’s not about becoming an elite athlete.

There are two things I believe make it so addictive:

  1. The community
  2. The experience of exceeding your expectations

It’s not that he fell in love with CrossFit. I haven’t fallen in love with CrossFit.

It’s not about CrossFit at all. You become part of a community and fall in love with the experience of exceeding your own expectations.

I don’t do CrossFit to compete. I’m not trying to become a perfect physical specimen, whatever that is.

Most people aren’t.

In fact, my 66-year-old mother joined a CrossFit box this summer. She loves it. Like my boyfriend, she immediately fell into a consistent routine and really, really enjoys it.


Because it feels AMAZING to exceed your expectations and do hard things you weren’t sure you could do it.

That’s why I love it, too.

Inspired by CrossFit, that’s the vibe I work so hard to re-create in my Primal Potential Masters Club and, increasingly so, in my 12 Weeks to Transformation.

I’m not trying to convince you to start CrossFit. I’m definitely not trying to convince you to join my 12 Weeks to Transformation. Part of what makes these communities so amazing is that the people who are there want to be there. No one makes them go or twisted their arm.

I am, however, encouraging you to find SOME community that encourages you, daily, to exceed your own expectations! Whether it’s CrossFit, my 12 WT or something local to you, I want you to not only be part of a strong, positive community, but also one that encourages you to exceed your expectations and work hard

What a beautiful pursuit for the new year!

513: Elements of Fitness for Fat Loss

513: Elements of Fitness for Fat Loss

As I shared in episode 509, I recently completed my CrossFit Level 1 Training. It really got me thinking about how I can make sure I’m not simply going through the motions of exercise, but that I’m really doing the right things for my body and my goals. Too many people ‘check the box’ by going to the gym, but they aren’t increasing their fitness or moving towards their goal of fat loss.

I texted my good friend and former trainer Nathan and asked if he’d help me establish a general framework for my own workouts, within the CrossFit format I love so much. See, in a CrossFit gym, owners/trainers can choose to write their own programming. Some programming is fantastic. Some leaves much to be desired. My fitness isn’t in the hands of my gym owner, my fitness is in my hands. After Nathan and I began chatting about this over the phone, I said, “Hey! I think my podcast listeners would love to listen in on this conversation! Are you okay recording this with me?

He agreed, and that’s what we’re doing in today’s episode.

Terms that come up include: 

Metcon: metabolic conditioning

AMRAP: as many reps as possible

The general structure Nathan recommends for me, based on my goals and my current level of training includes:

  • 1 rest day per week
  • 3 compound movement strength days, focusing on relatively heavy weights, multiple sets of 2-6 reps
  • 4 metcons per week, most in the 6-12 minute range
  • 1-2 single modality workouts, also high intensity (running, rowing, biking, swimming)


Episode 074: CrossFit & Weight Loss

Episode 509: How To Increase Your Fitness

Episode 215: 6 Ways To Get More Out Of Your Workout

Episode 035: Fitness For Fat Loss

Episode 160: Fat To Fit – Fitness

Want some great workout clothes? Give Fabletics a try! When you register through this link, you can get two amazing pairs of leggings for $24!

509: How To Increase Your Fitness

509: How To Increase Your Fitness

Here’s my $0.02 – too many people are going through the motions, trying to eat better and move more but they aren’t getting results. Two steps forward, two steps back or simply checking the box of doing the right thing but not seeing any significant change in their health, body composition or fitness level. I know I’ve certainly found myself in that trap.

Today I want to talk about what fitness is and, most importantly, how you can increase your fitness and create actual change in your health, physical ability and physique.

Related episodes include:

074: CrossFit & Weight Loss

507: Don’t Major In The Minors

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How Amazing 7.30.18

The other day I announced that I’m starting a new blog series. Make sure you read what it is and why I’m doing it. Seriously – that part is important. It will take you 30 second. Read it now if you haven’t already.

My goal is to see just how amazing I can feel if I do everything as close to “best for me” as possible.

If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click here. Otherwise, keep reading below. 

Where’s yesterday’s post? I didn’t make it, friend. I had a second day of training, a lot of work to do and a long ride in traffic back to Cape Cod. I feel really great about the day and my choices, but the blog didn’t happen yesterday. Onward. Let’s talk about today.

The other day, someone asked a great question in response to a daily blog where I shared I was getting up at my normal time despite being up late. She asked:

I have a question regarding sleep: isn’t it counterproductive if you wake up at 4-5am regardless of the time at which you went to bed? I get it’s important for you to do things “no matter what”, but if the goal is to feel amazing, shouldn’t you strive for 7-8 hours of sleep every night? Just wondering 🙂

Awesome question and I wanted to share my response with all of you…

The key question is “counter productive for who?” For me? No. You know why? Because I adjust my time to bed when I’m tired, not my time to wake. That is what works for me. Feeling amazing doesn’t mean I drag through my days with a great attitude despite feeling like crap. It means adjusting my choices to feel amazing. Sure, every once in a while I’m out late. How my day starts has a HUGE impact on how it goes. Getting up, getting things done, being proactive – that makes my day amazing. So, if I’m tired, I’ll go to bed earlier. I still get up at the same time. It’s nothing near counterproductive, for me.

That’s that. Onto today.

I absolutely wanted to hit snooze this morning and grab another 30 minutes of sleep but I didn’t. It’s Monday. It’s a new day. It’s a blank slate and I want it to start on the strongest note possible!

Part of that strong note was getting right out of bed. The second strong note was a cup of coffee! My first cup of coffee is one of the brightest spots in my day!

4:45 – 5am: A few sips of water, coffee, gratitude & journal

5 – 6:15am: Work

6:15 – 6:30am: Get ready for the gym

6:30 – 8:30am: Workout (includes drive time)

I haven’t had a rest day (a day off from working out intensely) in about 8 days and I know I need them. I’ll be in New Hampshire all day tomorrow so I decided to workout today knowing that I won’t tomorrow. I did keep it a bit lighter on the load and intensity.

  • Warmup with Crossover Symmetry
  • Shoulder stability work
  • Lacrosse ball rolling
  • Warm up on rower
  • Warm up with resistance band
  • 500m time trial on ski erg
  • Rest 3 minutes
  • 10 rounds of :30 on/:30 off – ski erg & 90% max effort
  • Stretching cool down

8:30 – 12pm: Work! Monday’s are my favorite!

12 – 1pm: Lunch & meditation

  • Large salad with shredded raw cabbage, arugula, tomato, cucumber, jalapeno, tomato, nectarine, 2 slices bacon and 1 egg
  • I mix it up with my Oxo salad chopper and the moisture from the egg eliminates the need for dressing

1 – 2pm: Live Q&A webinar with some of my summer clients

2 – 6pm: Work (with short break for second meditation)

6 – 8:30pm: Drive up to Maine – I rarely eat in the car but after being away for the weekend and heading up north for just a day, it was the way I rolled today. I had two packets of Artisana Coconut butter on the drive and called it dinner. Ideal? Nope. But, it was absolutely the best way for me to feel amazing today. My workout was lighter, I wasn’t particularly hungry and I was all over the place!

8:30 – 10pm: Chatting with my mom before bed

I’ve got a packed day tomorrow so I’m heading to bed!


How Amazing 7.25.18

The other day I announced that I’m starting a new blog series. Make sure you read what it is and why I’m doing it. Seriously – that part is important. It will take you 30 second. Read it now if you haven’t already.

My goal is to see just how amazing I can feel if I do everything as close to “best for me” as possible. If you’d rather listen to this blog than read it, please click here. Otherwise, keep reading below. 

After dinner last night, I noticed that my mood was better than normal. Often, around 8 or 9 at night, I’m starting to get tired and, to be honest, a bit short-tempered. Last night, I was calm and happy. The reason I’m mentioning that is because these kinds of subjective assessments are something I want to be very mindful of in this “how amazing” experiment. I know that when I’m not eating well, sleep well or taking great care of myself, I’m far more tired, negative & grumpy. What changes as I make daily improvements?

I started the day by posting this on Instagram. A great body is of absolutely no use without a great mind. There are lots of people who are lean, fit & miserable. You cannot live your best life without a great mind. No matter how great your body is, if you are chronically negative or anxious, you won’t be happy. Doing that mindset work is critically important!

5am: Up & at ’em! Unfortunately, my coffee pot malfunctioned this morning but I didn’t let it fluster me. Instead, I saw it as a great opportunity to stick to water. I began the day with gratitude & my journal, plus a little back mobility (exercises to improve the mobility of my back).

6 – 7am: Work!

7am: Ran out to get coffee

8am: Meditate (20 minutes TM)

8:30am – 1pm: Work

1pm: LUNCH (& picking up ingredients)

Yesterday I saw something new-to-me in the grocery store. Typically, I only buy organic fruits & veggies but, I was so excited to find FROZEN avocado pieces, that I just had to buy them despite the fact that they aren’t organic. They inspired me to make my shamrock shake for lunch. I originally posted the recipe here on the blog, but I modified it today to avoid spinach & stevia. As I’ll be sharing in episode 504 of the podcast, I need to avoid spinach. I posted a picture of the shake on my Instagram story.

  • 2 cups water
  • 2 chunks frozen avocado
  • 1/2 bag frozen cauliflower
  • 1/2 can coconut milk
  • 1 tbsp cocoa nibs
  • 2 drops peppermint essential oil
  • 1 tbsp chia seeds

I have to confess to being unprepared. Since I was eager to use the frozen avocado, I ran out to the store to get coconut milk and chia seeds. Normally, those are things I buy from Thrive Market. I rolled my eyes (at myself) when I got home and compared the prices.

I spent $3.49 per can on the coconut milk at the grocery store. When I plan ahead (or just simply keep it on hand) and buy it from Thrive Market, it’s only $2.39/can. I bought two cans today and had I stocked up from Thrive Market, I’d have saved $2.20. Grrrrr. Plus, the chia seeds cost me $8.99 at the grocery store and would have only been $6.99 from Thrive Market. Needless to say, I came home and placed an order so I don’t make that mistake again.

2 – 3pm: Back on that work grind!

3 – 5pm: Mobility & workout

  • Crossover symmetry
  • Shoulder stability
  • Hip thrusts
  • Group warm-up
  • 15 minute AMRAP (as many rounds as possible)
    • 5 pull-ups
    • 7 push-ups
    • 9 wall balls
  • Crossover symmetry

5 – 6pm: Swimming for fun! (More accurate: hanging out in the water)

6 – 7pm: DINNER (pictured on my Instagram story)
I’m working on doing just a minute or two of deep breathing before I eat. There are a couple reasons for it. First, lowering my stress response will aid my digestion. Second, it helps me be more present (instead of distracted) during my meal. The more present I am, the more satisfied I am, lowering the likelihood that I’ll be snacky later.

  • Large green salad
  • Broccoli with garlic
  • Grilled steak

7 – 8pm: Work!

8 – 9:30pm: Reading & evening chores

10pm:  In bed with all my screens OFF! This includes, phone, computer and television!

What did you do to win this day?